TaeYang Pov

"Arasso, Minzy. She left with Seunghyun hyung already? ok, Jiyong is still away right? Daesung is busy in Japan still right and Seungri is still recovering from his accident? Ok, understood. Thanks for keeping me updated." I don't even know why am i even asking Minzy to help me keep tabs on Sarah and the rest of the guys.Only Minzy, Seungri and Tablo hyung knows how I really feel about Sarah. Seungri found out by accident. He saw the Eyes Nose Lips lyrics in English and got a little curious, he then realized that I wrote there, "Sarah, I wish you knew how I feel about you. I love you, I will love you to death."

Maknae's English is not good but oh well, he still knows the word love. He confronted me about it and told me he knew even before he saw the words, he saw the way I took care of Sarah and how I looked at her when she was with Jiyong. Minzy found out when she accompanied CL who was recording the female part of Love You to Death. She got curious about the lyrics and the way that Tablo hyung and I were speaking to each other about the lyrics. Hyung was worried and asked if I was sure I wanted to go on with the song seeing the lyrics are so personal.

Minzy waited until CL left and got me and Tablo hyung to spill. I actually wrote the lyrics with Tablo hyung but I told him to not credit it to me cause I don't want anyone especially Jiyong and Sarah to know. I think Seunghyun hyung knows about my feelings for Sarah somehow but if he did, he never did ask me. Minzy has been helpful in helping me keep tabs on Sarah cause I know to Sarah, i might seem distant after her relationship with Jiyong but it is because I can't bear to see that hurt look in her eyes anymore.

I don't know when I started loving her or even falling for her but all I knew is that from the moment she cried and fall asleep in my arms two years ago in that Narita airport, she already had a soft spot in my heart. Since then, I tried my best to keep her from being hurt. I knew her relationship with Jiyong will only end in tears but she still persisted. In the end, it only left her all bruised and hurt even worse than what Pete did to her despite the short 3 months. I will remember this one night when the relationship was drastically crumbling.

Jiyong was back in Tokyo and he was hanging out with Kiko, somehow photos of them were shared in our YG group chat and Sarah saw them. She acted like it was nothing but I knew she was hurting. She wasn't feeling well that day but she still insisted on going to work. I took her home after the photos surfaced and just stayed there accompanying her. After some time, she fell asleep on my lap while we were sitting on the couch. I remember her having a really high fever but I didn't dare move her. I tried calling Jiyong but all I got was voice mail. I even tried calling Kiko but couldn't reach her. Her fever was so bad and all she was mumbling was Jiyong's name. At one point, she actually said I love you really softly. I almost got my hopes up only to realise that in her sickness, she thought I was Jiyong. At that moment, I let a single tear drop down my face and kiss her forehead.

"Why can't you kill that love for him? I don't know when I started loving you but even if you don't love me back, I'll love you to death.", those were my thoughts before I decided to call maknae for help to admit her into the hospital as her fever was not going down at all. We got her in just in time because she was having symptoms of pneunomia. I remembered she waited quietly outside the airport in the cold air for Jiyong to take off to Japan as she didn't want to cause a scene with the paparazzis. It took 3 days for Jiyong to even return my call and by then, Sarah was much better. That was when I knew Jiyong would break her heart and also when I started calling Tablo hyung and said I wanted to write a song.

Love You to Death

Do you think my heart is okay?
Do you think I won’t bleed if I get pricked?

But giving me the sickness
Is like the medicine that makes me breathe
So how can I quit you?

Yeah, whatever you do, I just need to endure it
Even if all of me dies, I just need you to breathe

Girl I’m gonna love you
everything is breaking down because of you
But I can’t live without you
Wanting you who doesn’t want me
If it’s my sin, I’ll sweetly receive the punishment
I’m gonna love you to death
I’m gonna love you to death

Everyone tells me
Only if I distance you far away, I can breathe
My heart tells me
The moment I distance you far away, I will die

I want to swallow this poison for you
I want to be drunk with you and never wake up
I can’t distance you far away forever
Why can’t you know?

Even if I go crazy
If it’s because of you, it’s okay
I want both heaven and hell to be you

Girl I’m gonna love you
everything is breaking down because of you
But I can’t live without you
Wanting you who doesn’t want me
If it’s my sin, I’ll sweetly receive the punishment
I’m gonna love you to death
I’m gonna love you to death

Even if I can’t open my eyes because darkness swallows me
Even if I’m branded with a unerasable mark
Can I breathe just with that one love?
Can I endure it even if it hurts to death?

Girl I’m gonna love you
Not having you is worse than death
It needs to be you
If wanting you who doesn’t want me is my destiny
I’m gonna love you to death
I’m gonna love you to death

Right now, it's been two years since that fever scare and if Seunghyun is the one who would make her happy now, I would gladly stay by the sidelines and just love her to death.

Anyone shipping TaeYang and Sarah here? Leave comments!