Weeks passed since the rainy night at the mental hospital. I think it’s day 16. Time has seemed to have slipped from my mind.

            “Okay. You need to get out,” Jackson advised. “You’re like a freaking robot.”

            I didn’t respond, instead flipping through the pages of my textbook.

            “I’m serious,” he added. “Look, okay, I’m calling Jiyeon. We’re all going out to eat this weekend, and that’s final. Alright?”

            So it was settled. On the following Saturday, we were all going to eat at the tofu house. Jackson had even picked me up, adamant that I get out and have some fun. And it had been somewhat enjoyable, I guess. The food was good.

            When dinner ended, Jackson offered me a ride home. But I was thinking how this was usually the time of the night where I would see him, all those months back. I haven’t been out like this for a long time.

            “No,” I said. “I’m taking the bus.”

            “Really?” Jackson asked with a raised brow. “Why would you take the bus?”

            Because it reminds me of him. “I just want to,” I replied simply. Then I turned back to the rest of the crew.

            “See you at school,” I said, trying my best to sound happy.

            I told them all goodbye and proceeded to walk to the bus stop, rubbing my hands together for warmth. It was nighttime, cold as ever, which would explain why we all thought eating at the tofu house would be a good idea. And it was; except the entire time my mind kept floating away to a particular boy.

            I took a seat by the bus stop and looked up at the night sky, the sky full of stars.

            A businessman-looking guy with a suitcase then sits next to me and I nonchalantly scoot a bit to the side to make room for the stranger.

            “What’s your name?”

            I blinked. Had I heard wrong? But I hadn’t, since the stranger was now looking at me with interested eyes, waiting for an answer. I noticed that he was middle aged, probably in his late thirties.

            “Um...Boyoung,” I fibbed, not getting a good vibe from this guy.

            “That’s a pretty name.” He scooted closer to me, then smiled. It was creepy as . “So what are? A student? Where do you go to school?” I suddenly grew really scared. He looked like he wanted to eat me or something, as funny as that sounds.

            But it definitely wasn’t funny.

            “I...I, uh, I gotta go.” I quickly got up but he forcefully grabbed onto my arm and stopped me.

            “What’s the hurry?” he asked. “Stay and let’s have some fun.”

            “Get your hands off of me.” I tried to sound tough but I knew that my voice came out shaky, that I sounded vulnerable. I tried yanking my hand away from him but it didn’t budge.

            Suddenly a tall boy in a cap steps in between us.

            “Let go of her,” he says through clenched teeth.

            “Aw c’mon I was just trying to have some fun!” the creep replied.

            The boy’s back was to me so I couldn’t hear very well of what he was saying. But soon he yanked off the creep’s hand off of my wrist and held him by the collar, saying something along the lines of, “If I catch you even a mile near her then you’re dead. You hear?”

            Then the creep scurries away, scared out of his mind.

            The boy’s shoulders deflate in relief and he proceeds to walk away, back still to me.

            “Wait!” I called out.

            But he didn’t stop. Instead, he kept walking.

            “Wait!” I said again, now running up to him. But he still wasn’t stopping. “Wait! Kim Jongin!”

            That made him stop right in his tracks.

            He turned around, his face cold and expressionless. “What?”

            “What the hell was that?” I asked.

            “You’re welcome.”

            “You just happened to be in the neighborhood?” I asked sarcastically. “Why haven’t you been at school?”

            “No reason,” he said sharply. “I gotta go.”

            “Stop,” I said. “Can’t we just talk?”

            “Talk about what?”

            Anything, I thought. I just wanted to talk to him again, to have him joke around with me and tease me like usual, to have him by my side.

            But I couldn’t possibly tell him that. And because I hesitated, Kai took this as a notion that the conversation was done.

            “Wait,” I said, not being able to watch him leave. “I…” I bit my lip, partly to hold back the tears and partly to keep my sanity intact. “I missed you.”

            He looked into my eyes, hesitating. And the thing was, his eyes looked so sincere, so genuine, that I really believed that he was going to say that he missed me too. But in the end, he didn’t.

“I really gotta go,” he finally said. He turned around and walked away, to wherever he lived or whatever he did at night nowadays.

            I stood there, feeling like a total loser, and I felt like the hole in my heart had just gotten ten times bigger. I didn’t even dare watch Kai as he walked away from me, knowing that it’d hurt me even more.

            But then he stopped. He stopped and turned back for what seemed like the umpteenth time tonight and unwrapped the scarf he was wearing. “Here,” he said, handing it out to me. “It’s going to be cold this entire week. Take it.”

            When I failed to respond to him because I was too busy being stubborn and heartbroken, Kai sighed in frustration and wrapped his scarf around me himself. His hands lightly brushed past my neck, his broad chest now so close to proximity.

            “There,” Kai said in what I knew was a forced cheerful voice. “Hyemi?”

            I had my face down, and now all I could focus on was how much I wanted to rest on his broad chest, to wrap my arms around him. So that was what I did as I took a step forward, pulling myself into him. At that time I felt like I could’ve stayed in his arms forever.

            When I woke up the next morning I had a hazy memory of last night. But it gradually came back to me, and I found myself smiling.

            I looked over at the knit grey scarf sitting by my desk, and my heart grew all warm and tingly inside.

            Perhaps it was then that I knew I was doomed, that my feelings for this boy will prove to be toxic. But even so, I ignored the negative thoughts, because I knew that this boy was one in a million, and that he’d be worth the fight.