It’s amazing how two people grow with each other. There are people who you can know your entire life, and yet you can never say more than a couple words to them. Then there are the people who you only know for a short span of time, but you feel like you’ve known them forever.

            Kai was turning out to be of the second category.

            As I lay on my bed, my eyes wandered over to the picture of me and Kai on my desk, the picture of the debutante. I seemed to gaze at it for a long time, just thinking about me and him. I went over the small details, like when I saw him for the first time on that first day without Taemin, meeting eyes with him in the hallway, to more major events like the karaoke night and the burning building. I then realized that a lot of the major events happened at night.

            I was always seeing him around after dark, and more than once he was carrying some grocery bag or other convenience goods. I grew curious as to what he did at night. There wasn’t another girl or anything, was there?

            I told Jackson about my curiosity.

            “Oh, I’ve seen him at night once or twice too,” Jackson said. “I’ve been doing charity work at the mental hospital sort of downtown, and I see him go in there on late nights.”

            “The mental hospital?” I asked. “When does he usually come?”

            “Uhhh at about 7 or 8 PM-ish?” Jackson answered. “Usually brings in a bag of food or something.”

            With my new information, I went to the mental hospital Jackson had mentioned that night. I parked in the lot and waited in the car, looking up every now in then to see if a boy in a beanie had passed.

            At around 7:50 PM, he made his appearance. He was carrying his signature bag of food. I quickly got out of my car and followed him in.

            Jackson was already in there, working on his charity stuff. He was talking/charming a nurse, who had generously let me in without a visitor’s pass needed. She’d even showed me where Kai was headed, saying, “I always notice the handsome ones, of course. Kai comes here about every other night to visit his schizophrenic mother. He always brings her favorite pastry from the bakery. Comes out very sad and depressed though.

            “You know, Kai had a rough childhood growing up. His dad made a pretty decent amount, but was very selfish and ended up leaving them with nothing when he left. Seems like he couldn’t handle the burden that his wife came to be. Kai has always had to manage everything on his own, medical bills, food, shelter and all. It’s tough, but he somehow manages it, although I don’t know whether he does it on a legal basis or not. But still, quite a thing to admire. He loves his mother more than anything else.”

            His mother. Of course.

            It all clicked into place now, what he did at night, why I was always seeing him around: he seemed to be searching for company. Amazingly, he always found me. But I felt like in some ways, I was searching for him also.

            I decided to leave Kai with his mother, not wanting to intrude, and instead waited for him in the lobby.

            When Kai came around the corner, his eyes were flickering, like they were about to go out of light. He spotted me and his eyes widened.

            “Hyemi?” He was shocked, speechless. “What are you—“

            “—I’m sorry,” I immediately said. “I didn’t mean to be rude. I was just curious as to what you did at night and…Jackson told me…” I at explaining.

            If Kai had been sad or depressed before, it seemed to have gotten worse. He grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the hospital. We stood on the sidewalk. He seemed panicked.

            “How much do you know?” he asked me.

            “I already knew the basics, now just a bit more in-depth,” I responded.

            Kai ran his fingers through his hair. He seemed very scrambled, at a loss for words, close to a mental breakdown. He lowered down and sat on the curb, back hunched. His face fell.

            I didn’t know what was going on. I took a seat next to him. “Kai,” I said gently. “Are you okay?”

            He brought his eyes up to look at me. “Why are you still here?”

            “What do you mean?”

            “I mean,” Kai growled, “why haven’t you left yet? You know the entirety of my family background now. Not only am I poor compared to people like you but my mother is in a psychiatric hospital. Go ahead, leave me.”

            When I failed to move an inch, Kai said, “You know, I’m used to being abandoned. I don’t expect you to stay.”

            “You don’t expect me to, but I know you want me to,” I said.

            The sparkle in his eyes told me that I was right.

            The thing was, I could’ve left him. I could’ve turned back, and he was letting me.

            But I realized that I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to leave him. Because without him, my life would be colorless.

            I smiled, and it seemed like it gave him all the hope he needed. I put a warm hand over his. “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere, alright?” I promise you.