After finishing our ramen, Kai and I ended up skipping last period entirely to explore the downtown. There were a lot of vendors and some really good food as well. I was having so much fun and interest in downtown with Kai that I hadn’t even realized the time until it got dark.

            Kai glanced up at the sky. “Huh,” he said. “It’s dark already. Time flies.”

            “It really does,” I replied.

            “There’s still something that bothers me. You didn’t like my dance,” Kai said.

            I rolled my eyes. He really wasn’t going to stop, even if I told him that I was completely lying about that.

            But I went along with it anyways for fun as I said, “So what are you going to do about it?”

            “Dancing is just not about movement,” Kai said. “It’s also about what feelings and emotions it evokes in the audience. Therefore, you shall dance with me.”

            “Huh?” Maybe going along with this wasn’t such a good idea…

            “You heard me.”

            “W-Wait,” I said, taking it back. “I was just kidding around. I actually really liked your dance routine, a lot.”

            “Nope,” Kai said, shaking his head. “Too late. You’re dancing with me.”

            “We already danced at my debutante though.”

            “Nope. I didn’t get the chance to unleash my full potential.”

            “But where? How?” I asked. “There’s no music and we’re standing in the middle of the street.”

            Kai’s eyes grew mischievous again. “I didn’t say we’d be dancing right now. But we will, some day. Another time. You owe me a dance, that’s for sure.”

            At lunch, I was nonchalantly taking a bite of my sandwich when I suddenly spot Kai walking into the cafeteria. My eyes stayed fixed on him the entire time he walked by. He smirked and playfully glared at me as he passed by my table. I glared at him back and rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help but bite back a smile.

            “Whoa, what was that?”

            I snapped out of it. “What?” I asked Jackson.

            My best friend imitated me by making googly eyes and biting his lip emphatically. I cringed, a result from second hand embarrassment. “THAT,” he said. “I haven’t seen your face light up that much since freaking Taemin asked you out for the first time.”

            Taemin.

            I pushed the thought of him out of my head. I was making progress, I shouldn’t stop now.

            “What are you talking about?” I asked. “I’m always like this.”

            “Noooooo,” Jackson said slowly, not believing me. “At least, not since Taemin went missing. Now all of a sudden your face is back to its normal brightness and holy cow you’re actually smiling again. Even biting back a smile, which is even more suspicious but at the same time, quite refreshing.”

            I chose to avoid the subject, the secondhand embarrassment getting to me. “So, Christmas is coming up. Get together at my house like usual?”

            Jackson sighed, obviously not happy about me changing the subject. He didn’t argue with me however, as he nodded.

            Every year my family throws this huge Christmas get-together with the best food, the best music, and the most important people in the business industries, as well as the occasional politician. Although, the teens usually ditched the parents and all hang out in on the second floor. It would be a great way for me to forget about Kai for at least a night, although I hoped that the effect would last just a bit longer. I really needed something to get my mind off of him.

            On the night of the party, I decided to wear a nice velvet burgundy dress. I did my hair and makeup, and then proceeded to co-host a party where I was supposed to forget. While directing the maid as to where the ice sculpture should go, my parents were babbling on about how these important people were going to be there and blah blah. I was completely zoning out that is, until I heard them mention Exo.

            “That poor company,” my mother was saying. “Although they can hardly be pitied. Their products and marketing was horrible. But Kim Minseok really was such a kind man. We had dinner with him before, remember?”

            “Wait,” I blurted out. “Mom, you and dad had dinner with Kim Minseok before?”

            “Yes,” my mother replied. “Why are you asking?”

          “Uh…I’m just curious,” I said. “Were there any other people at the dinner? A guy named Kim Suho maybe?”

            “Kim Suho?” my dad thought about it. “I do think I vaguely remember him. I hear he’s incognito now.”

            “What did he look like?” I practically shouted, panicked. “Please say you remember.”

            “His facial features were pretty normal: double eyelids, milky white skin. He had blonde hair at the time although, that has probably changed by now. The dinner had been last year,” my dad said.

            Double eyelids, white skin, blonde hair. I told myself to keep those traits in mind, no matter how trivial they seemed to be.

My house was already crowded to its max just a mere hour later, the new information still ringing in my head. I stuck with my parents to greet a couple of business people before excusing myself to the second floor.

            Music pumped loud against my eyes, a complete difference from the first floor’s classical. I saw a couple of people I knew and said hi to them.

            I then spotted Jackson in his sparkly navy sports jacket, champagne glass in hand as he seemed to be ranting to the DJ about something.

            “Hey,” I said to him. “What’s wrong?”

            “Your parents,” Jackson started slowly as the DJ wiped a bead of sweat off of his forehead, probably glad that he didn’t have to listen to Jackson’s rants anymore. “…invited Mark?!”

            Oh yeah. Mark Tuan. He and Jackson weren’t exactly the best of friends.

            “Sorry,” I said. “I wasn’t in charge of the guest list.”

            “Ugh. My parents made me say hi to him.” Jackson rolled his eyes.

            I laughed. “Your parents still don’t know that you and Mark have hated each other since, well, the second grade?”

            “They want to ‘make amends’ or some , I don’t know,” Jackson mumbled. “By the way, that dress looks stunning on you.”

            “Thank you. Oh and your gift is underneath the tree,” I said.

            “Awesome! Let’s go check it out right now because honestly, I am getting sick of seeing Mark in my peripheral vision.” Jackson practically pulled me back downstairs to where my Christmas tree was.

            “Oooooo!” Jackson squealed, holding up my present for him. He’d spotted it immediately, of course. My presents always had its signature metallic silver ribbon on it. “I wonder what it is.” Then he shook it.

            I wanted to laugh at his silliness, but I once again grew all too preoccupied at the pieces of information I’d just heard: the description of Kim Suho before he’d gone incognito.

            I shouldn’t even be thinking about it. Kim Suho could look completely different by now. This didn’t help me at all regarding Taemin, who was still such a puzzle left unsolved.

            Then I thought about how it was Christmas Eve. It was also supposed to be my party, one of the best parties of the year. Everyone was laughing and having fun.

            Except me. I seemed to be back in my darkest of all moods, and it to be so down during the Christmas season. I tried to genuinely laugh at Jackson’s jokes and antics because how could you not? But even so, I failed miserably. It was hard to escape the dark moods that thoughts of Taemin brought.

            “Well, well, well, look who decided to show up,” Jackson suddenly says.

             I looked up, and my eyes practically bugged out of their sockets.

            Kai was decked in a tight-fitted dress shirt tucked in a pair of crisp clean black. His shoes were polished, his suit jacket snug. His hair was done neatly, spiffed up. It was like Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic during the dinner scene, transformed from the rags to the riches.

            Kai rolled his eyes as he shook some snow off of his hair. “You were the one who practically gave me no choice.”

            “Jackson,” I managed, eyes still wide in shock. “What is he doing here? I didn’t invite him.”

            “Exactly. I invited him!”

            “You made me come,” Kai mumbled.

            “Okay, okay, so I might’ve threatened him that I’d give the entire female population at school his phone number if he didn’t come. Which, of course, would’ve been hell for him. But look, here he is!” Jackson exclaimed. “And doesn’t he look dashing?”

            “Why the hell am I here again?”

            “Becaussseeee,” Jackson snickered. Then he smiled at me.

            Well . Jackson had obviously known that Christmas was bound to upset one way or another because of Taemin. He’d invited Kai on purpose, even providing him with the appropriate outfit and stylist. For me.

            I sighed as I followed the two back up to the second floor.

            “Yeaaahhhh time to party!” Jackson howled.

            Kai groaned in the background. “I did not sign up for this,” he mumbled.

            “Hyemi, keep him company will you?” Jackson winked at me before scurrying away in the midst of the crowd of rich kids.

I turned to Kai. “You don’t have to stay here,” I said. “You can leave if you want.”

            Kai did look annoyed wearing his overly posh outfit, but in the end he shrugged. “I don’t mind. Besides, you looked pretty sad before I came.”

            “Was it that obvious?”

            “A bit.”

            I sighed. “Sorry. I just…never mind. I won’t go running off to a burning building or anything though, so you don’t have to worry.”

            Kai laughed. “Good. So what is there to do around here? I don’t really fit in with rich kids.”

            This made me smile because I knew that he was better than all of the rich kids combined. “There’s food,” I said. “Lots of good food, and champagne. You can dance too, I think Lay’s around here somewhere.” Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jiyeon and she waved emphatically, probably drunk.

            “Kai?!” she mouthed. “Go Hyemi!”

            I made an ‘X’ with my arms, trying to tell her that it was nothing like that. Of course, she was too busy being ratchet to hear me.

            Then a different song started playing, and Kai’s eyes lit up.

            “Holy . Is this DJ Doc’s new track?!” he asked.

            “Uh. I think so?”

            “It isn’t supposed to be released for another week!”

            I nodded over at the DJ. “Guess he has connections.”

            Kai’s eyes practically lit up. “Hey. Let’s dance.”

            “What?!” I exclaimed. “No.”

            “But c’mooonnnn I love DJ Doc! Hyemi let’s dannncccee!” he whined.

            “I’m not dancing with you.”

            “But you owe me one anyways, remember?” Kai reminded me.

            Before I knew it, he was already grabbing my hand and dragging me to the dance floor.

            “Yeaahhhh Hyemi’s here everyone!” Jackson probably said from somewhere.

            “Whooooooo!” people hooted.

            To be honest, I would’ve danced. I wasn’t ashamed of my dancing.

            I was just too shy to dance with Kai, so nervous of being in close proximity with him. What was he going to do? Grind? Oh please don’t.

           But I guess Kai found grinding and twerking insulting to the dancing arts (that’s how serious he was about it, really) because he did none of that sort. Instead, he simply moved his body to the music. He still seemed so graceful compared to everyone else.

            “How’s everybody doin’ tonight?” DJ Ringa shouted through the microphone.

            “WHOOOOO!” we all cheered.

            DJ Ringa sped up the tempo, and everybody began jumping up and down to the pace, all leading up to the dubstep that we were all waiting for. I felt so free as I danced along to the music, feeling like I was actually having fun. How long has it been since I’ve even listened to music like this?

Most importantly, I couldn’t stop feeling grateful for the pair of broad shoulders that stayed by my side on the dance floor. I seemed to be magnetically sticking close to him. It was easier now, to stay close to him. I felt safe, so safe with him near me. Kai’s shoulder brushed against mine and we met eyes.

            Are you okay? His eyes seemed to ask me.

            I nodded energetically, a smile coming across my lips. “Yes!” I shouted through the music.

            Kai grinned. Good.

            “So, I guess now you know what I meant when I talked about feelings and emotions in dance.”

            Kai and I had retreated back to my room with two glasses of champagne, in desperate need of some downtime. He and I sat at on the edge of my bed, talking.

            “Do you always have to rub it in when you’re right?” I asked.

            “Basically.”

            “Fine. You had been right about everything. And thank you for not grinding on me,” I reluctantly said.

            “Please,” Kai scoffed. “Grinding? For amateurs. And you’re welcome.”

            I laughed and took a sip of my glass of champagne. “So what does your family usually do for Christmas?” I asked.

            Then I wish I hadn’t, because I then remembered what Jackson had told me about him on the first week he came: mom had schitzo, dad was gone.

            But Kai seemed used to this, as he merely shrugged. “Never really celebrated Christmas in my house. The holidays just kinda passed by for us.”

            “So no presents?” I asked. “No tree?”

            “Nope.”

            “That’s pretty sad.”

            “Yeah. I know.”

            “Now you really have that bad boy thing going on,” I commented, the champagne kicking in. “It’s almost official. All you need is a motorcycle.”

            “Already beat you to it.”

            “What?!” I exclaimed. “You have a motorcycle?”

            “Yup,” Kai said. “It’s really old, though. A hand-me-down. I don’t like to use it too much but it’s there.”

            My eyes stayed fixed on him, enchanted. “You should take me on it sometime.”

            “You’d really want to ride on it?”

            “Sure,” I said. “I’ve never ridden on one.”

            “You know, that kind of stuff takes a lot of trust,” Kai warned me.

            “I trust you.” I don’t know why I’d said it so immediately, as if I didn’t even need to hesitate or think to know that I trusted him. Must’ve been how he’d saved me from a burning building.

            “Fine,” Kai said. “It’s a date.”

            Date. Debutante.

            “Oh yeah,” I said as I got up and went over to my desk. I picked up an envelope consisting of pictures from the debutante ball, fresh off the printer. It seemed like such a long time ago. “Here are some of the pictures from the event. You can take a couple if you want. My mom made like a million copies.”

            Kai looked through the pictures one at a time carefully. He then picked out one that he wanted to keep. It was a simple picture, just me and him standing next to each other. I was in my white dress, him in his tux. I almost giggled aloud because it looked like a wedding picture from far away.

            Usually when I thought back to the debutante I’d only remember the tears, of Kai telling me about Taemin and Naeun.

           But now the thought of the debutante actually made me smile. I remembered how beautiful I felt in my dress, how Kai looked so handsome in his tux, how nice it felt in his arms during the dance.

            When the night ended, I walked Kai out to the front of my house. I noticed an old Honda parked across the street, a clear contrast to the sports cars and limos.

            “Thanks for the party,” Kai said, strangely polite.

            “Of course,” I said. “Thanks for coming, really.”

            That night before I went to sleep, I took another look at the debutante pictures. I came across another copy of the picture that Kai had taken with him. Looking at it now, I could see why he liked it: everything about it looked so perfect.

            We looked so perfect.

            I put the picture on my desk and put the rest away. It was the only one I needed to see.