“Hey Hyemi, are you excited for the school talent show?” Jiyeon asked me.

            I shrugged. “A bit. Are you going to be performing?”

            “No but Daehyun and his friends will be,” Jiyeon said with a giggle.

            Every year the school had this super hyped up talent show. Taemin had always religiously participated, blowing everyone away with his smooth dance moves. Now with him missing, I guess people were looking forward as to who could take his place as the school’s ultimate performer.

            I sighed and stood there in front of the poster for the school talent show. Letting go of Taemin was getting easier. But, the talent show was always something heavily associated with him.

            In class, the teacher was talking about grammar or some and everyone was basically falling asleep. Kai had his head in his arms, in a deep slumber.

            Then I noticed that he had a talent show application messily stashed in the binder underneath his arms.

            “Kai,” I hissed.

            He didn’t respond.

            “Kai!” I hissed louder.

            He still didn’t respond.

            I flicked his forehead.

            “Ah!” Kai immediately woke up and rubbed his forehead. “Um, OW?”

I pointed to the application in his binder. “You’re going to be in the talent show?”

            He still looked pretty sleepy as he glanced at it. “Oh? That? I dunno. Lay gave it to me and wants me to sign up. Why?”

            I was, once again, drawn to the resemblance between the two. Seeing Kai perform on that stage? Talk about déjà vu overload.

            “No reason,” I replied. “So are you going to do it?”

            Kai shrugged. “Maybe, since I don’t have to pay anything to participate.”

            I nodded in response. “I see.”

            On the night of the talent show, I was deeply hesitant as to whether or not I should go. But once again, free on a Friday night, I decided to go anyways.

            Since I’d decided on attending the show last minute, the auditorium was already super packed when I arrived. Taking a seat near the back, I prepared myself for the start of the show.

            He came out towards the very end of the lineup, along with that other guy Lay. I watched with admiring eyes as the two danced, although they stayed fixed on Kai for practically the entire time.

            His dancing was so smooth, yet at the same time so powerful and magnetic. The charisma that emitted from him charmed the entire room; everyone in the crowd was thinking it, no doubt. The kid could dance.

            And he could dance damn well.

            Whispers lingered in the crowd as the trio’s dance closed to a finish, and I heard many people mention how Kai was better than Taemin. The entire audience stood up and clapped, shouting, hooting. Kai bowed and was actually smiling, and I found myself captivated by that smile.

            When the talent show ended I made it a priority to tell Kai how much I’d enjoyed his routine. I made my way backstage and searched for him, eyes peeled. I spotted him talking to Lay in the back. He glances over and notices me.

            “Hey,” he shouts over with a nod.

            “Hey—“

            But before I could even continue a huge group of girls suddenly come barging in, blocking the distance between us. They bombard him with praises, comments, flowers, and candy.

            “You did great out there Kai!”

            “You were so hot!”

            Of course, I thought. Of course other girls would’ve thought the same thing about his performance. This was supposed to be no big deal.

            So with that, I left. It was a good night, a good show with great performers. I shouldn’t have been feeling as down as I was.

            The following Monday, I arrived to class first. Kai’s seat was still unoccupied when I came in. I found it interesting how this is probably the first time I’ve come to class earlier than him.

            Kai came about two minutes later, ear buds on as usual. When he passed by he playfully nudged me. “Where’d you run off to after the talent show?” he asked as he sat down.

            “I was tired,” I replied, although I didn’t know why I sounded so hurt.

            “What’d you think of the dance?”

            I shrugged. “Normal.”

            Kai obviously didn’t seem satisfied with my answer. “Just normal?”

            I nodded accordingly, trying my best to focus on the reading in my textbook.

            Kai and I walked out together after first period like usual and to be honest, I never realized how much we actually saw or hung out with each other on a daily basis until it was interrupted.

            “Kai!” a couple of girls screamed as they ran up to him. I was suddenly pushed out of the way as Kai was surrounded.

            Rude, I thought. Watching Kai get bombarded with girls was not a very pleasant sight so I left. It was lonely walking to class alone that day.

            “You look rather glum.”

            I played around with my pencil, twirling it back and forth between my fingers. “I’m fine,” I said.

            “I thought you’d be in better spirits now,” Jackson remarked. “Since you let go of Taemin and everything.”

            I considered this also. On the night I’d proclaimed myself free, I’d felt so vigorous and invincible, like nothing in the world could stop me.

            So why the hell was I still feeling so…icky?

            The answer to my question walks by with his hands in his pockets, beanie in tow. The two of us glanced at each other as he passed, but didn’t say anything. I wouldn’t blame him. I’ve been cold to him all day.

            “I see how it is,” Jackson said with a knowing smirk. “You’re jealous of Kai’s potential prospects.”

            “Huh?”

            “His ladies,” Jackson clarified. “You’re realizing that you may not be the only girl in his life anymore.”

            “What are you talking about?” I asked. “I’ve always known that other girls find him attractive. I witnessed Minah practically begging him to be with her.”

            “You might’ve known, but you never realized it until now. Knowing something and realizing it are two completely different things,” Jackson explained.

            I looked back over at Kai, who was now looking at some books on the shelf. Some girls ran up to him in hushed whispers and asked for pictures, which he roughly declined by giving them weird looks and walking away. They still followed him, nonetheless.

            After my “study session” with Jackson, I walked to the parking lot to find Kai hanging around there also.

            He nodded at me. “Hey.”

            “Hi,” I replied. I don’t know why things still sounded so awkward between us.

            “Kai!” another girl said as she went up to him. I rolled my eyes and looked away. “Can we take a picture together? Your dance at the talent show was so cool!”

            “No,” Kai replied bluntly.

            The girl ran away, obviously hurt. Kai showed no signs of pity.

            “Wow,” I replied. “Harsh.”

            “They’re all really annoying.”

            “You just have a knack for rejecting girls?” I asked.

            Kai considered this, then nodded. “Basically.”

            Not really having anything else to say, I started walking over to my car.

            “Wait,” Kai said, putting a hand on my arm. “I’m still bothered.”

            “By what?”

            “By the fact that you didn’t like my routine,” Kai said. “And why the hell do you still look so gloomy?”

            “I’m fine,” I instinctively said.

            “This isn’t because of Taemin is it? Or…Hongbin?”

            “No, it’s nothing,” I snapped. “Now go back to all of your fans, okay? Forget about me.” Completely done with the conversation, I stomped over to my car.

            “Wait a second,” Kai said, still following me. “My fans? What are you, jealous?”

            “What?!” I exclaimed a bit too loudly. “No.”

            “You looked perfectly fine on the night of the talent show,” Kai remarked. “And now you look like something is eating you up inside.”

            “I think you should shut up.”

            But Kai wouldn’t stop. “HA! I knew it. I knew there was a reason why you were acting so weird all day. It’s cause you’re jealous!”

            “I thought I told you to shut up.”

            “You,” Kai said, pointing to me, “are jealous. Admit it.”

            “I really don’t have time for this,” I said as I opened the door to my car.

            “If it makes you feel any better,” I heard him say quietly, “I usually don’t call many girls pretty. But I distinctly remember calling you pretty more than once.” Then he walked away, hands in his pockets.

            That night, I felt rather conflicted as I lay there in bed, trying to go to sleep. I thought back to all of those other girls, to how I used to be the only one who’d paid any speck of attention to him. I mean of course before the talent show he’d already been considered as one of the school’s hotties. But I hadn’t seen any other girls besides Minah actually pay attention to him seriously, until now.

            The next day at school, I walked out of a class to find Kai standing by his locker, earbuds on. Girls were all around him, and he looked deeply annoyed as he tried to block them out via ear buds. Unfortunately, they weren’t helping.

            Before I knew it, I was already marching my way up to him, pushing past the blockade of girls that’d been surrounding him.

            “Hey,” I said to him.

            A girl was practically clinging onto his arm, begging him to take a picture with her. “Hey,” he said casually, taking an ear bud out and ignoring the arm-clinger entirely.

            “So I was thinking of getting lunch off campus,” I seemed to be screaming amidst the sea of girls. “Wanna come?”

            Kai’s eyes broke out into a sense of mischievousness. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

            “Ramen?”

            “Ramen.”

            In that instant, our hands automatically went to each other’s as I pulled him out of that chaos of a blockade.

            “Oh my gosh…”

            “He and Hyemi have a thing?!”

            “Are they together?”

            “They’re holding hands!”

            “Well, he was her date at the debutante, right?”

            His hand was warm, soft, and as the two of us walked out into the sunlight together, I could gradually feel the life seep back into me, brightening up my face inch by inch.