thinking about you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Was this really going to be the end between Sehun and Lu Han? They knew each other for hardly a week, ending their friendship was not something Lu Han was prepared for. He had so much more planned than time was currently allowing him. He wanted Sehun to meet other people and not only depend on Lu Han. Sehun had quickly left after he had said that and gave the elder enough time to think over his words. He didn't give any reasons as to why he would move away. Did it have to do with Kris?

 

 

 

Crushing his teeth, Lu Han kicked a small stone away from his path. He supposed that maybe taking a walk would bring him on different thoughts. Completely different thoughts because he was too exhausted to be thinking about Sehun. But he wanted to. Tears were filling his eyes and his feelings were menacing to choke him up. He paused for a moment to breathe deeply and try to recuperate some control; it was important for him to have a good plan. He rubbed his red eyes to get rid of the tears.

 

 

 

Could it be that it was really completely his fault? He was the one who was responsible for the existence of the picture. But at least he was doing his best to get it back. He disliked stuck up and rude people like Kris and yet he agreed to ask him out. He was making a fool out of himself and since he couldn't tell Sehun a single word, he felt that it was unappreciated. Except Baekhyun, nobody knew about his plan. Nobody else knew about his struggles to keep Kris happy. That he was about to ditch the last time he would be able to see Sehun.

 

 

 

 

Or wouldn't he?

 

 

 

Lu Han was torn between both options. To both get the picture and save Sehun's reputation or go to him to properly say goodbye. And if he wouldn't go then Sehun would think that Lu Han didn't care about him. This was ironic because if he didn't care about him then he wouldn't try to fix the mess. He was so stuffed up about that, that he had to presently miss his lessons. He just left to get his head clear. In this moment he didn't care about the trouble he would get into. He had to decide sensibly and with patience.

 

 

 

Breathing around the tension in his chest Lu Han sighed and kicked another stone with a bit more strength.

 

 

 

 

When he raised his head from the ground he observed how the stone hit another person who was sitting on a bench. Gasping in shock, Lu Han pulled a grimace and rushed to the one he had accidently hit. "Not good, not good...!" He chanted that with a worried expression. He lifted a hand and quickly wiped at the tears still clinging to his cheeks and red, faintly swollen eyes. This couldn't get any worse, couldn't it? Fortunately the person, who got unintentionally hit, didn't react to that. It was a guy and he raised his head as if someone had called his name. He did notice Lu Han running towards him, trying to explain that it was an accident.

 

 

 

"Sorry! Sorry! I didn't mean to!" Inhaling heavily and resting his hands on his knees, Lu Han ducked his head and caught his breath. This day couldn't get any worse, now strangers couldn't be safe from Lu Han. He strained a smile and sat down next to the stranger who couldn't care less about the accident. His face didn't change at all as his eyes trailed after Lu Han who was now next to him. Lu Han also eyed him from his spot but deliberately looked ahead when their eyes met. They seemed to be the same age though what made this assumption questionable was that the stranger was not wearing a uniform.

 

 

Lu Han's face softened, forehead changing into a sad frown, "I don't know why I'm telling you this but can you listen for a minute?" He was at a point when he was too desperate to care to who he was talking to. He needed ideas, opinions and help as well. Lu Han didn't know about the person who sat next to him, nothing not his name or age. He didn't care though. Perhaps he was just crazy for talking to that person who could have been anyone. What surprised him more was that the stranger contemplated Lu Han and in the end nodded. He was ready to listen to the rambling Lu Han had to hold to back.

 

 

 

 

 

He had a lot of things going through his head and it felt like nobody would be able to understand his thoughts.

 

 

 

 

Smiling slightly Lu Han dropped his gaze to his hands that were on his lap.

 

 

"Thank you. I'm really frustrated. A lot of stuff is happening and I'm stressed. First there is Sehun who's like the perfect boyfriend material but he hates me. Well he used to and that was like a phase and he is a loner who is friendless. He likes me back I think to some extent because he keeps calling me sunshine and you only do that when you really like someone right?" Lu Han lifted his head up, squinting slightly against the bright sunlight streaming through the leaves of the trees. Both of them raised their hands to cover their faces from the intense rays of the sun.

 

 

And that was the moment when Lu Han had at least expected the other to speak. And yet he did, "That's you right there. You are his sunshine. Annoying and distracting his sight. But you are bright and warm too." He explained- voice unpredictably soft- putting his hand on Lu Han's shoulder as something glinted in his eyes. He closed his mouth and looked aside. A spark of curiosity burned inside Lu Han that the other replied in a way. He listened to the confusing description about Sehun. This curiosity strengthened when the other got up from the bench and walked away.

 

 

Lu Han looked up at him again; the same odd look in his eyes not understanding what was up with him.

 

 

 

"Excuse me? Hello there? What's your name? Are you trying to say that Sehun is in love with me?"

 

 

 

 

The last statement was implausible but in all conscience Lu Han knew that Sehun stared at him longer than he needed to. Lu Han may have been slightly stupid but he was not a complete idiot. He looked after the other, thinking that maybe he would come back or elaborate.

 

 

 

 

Lu Han knew that his love may not have been one sided.

 

 

 

 

And this stranger had just confirmed it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

-x-

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he was back in school it was like nobody noticed that he was gone. There was not a single student who had wondered where Lu Han was or asked why he skipped a lesson. He sneaked back into the class with some students staring at him but not saying a word. They were used to Lu Han's weird behaviour and therefore wouldn't ask questions. The one who didn't stop asking questions was Baekhyun. When Lu Han had met him by chance after he left his classroom, Baekhyun was accompanied by Kai. That discovery had Lu Han wordless because he didn't know that they were friends.

 

 

 

He had briefly introduced them but that they were now friends was new.

 

 

 

But it was safe to say that Kai had a totally different reason for being with Baekhyun. He was pulling Baekhyun's wrist and approached Lu Han who dumbly stared at them.

 

 

"You are going to tell me now what's up with you too! Sehun as well, he made you cry didn't he?! You are all acting so damn suspicious." Okay, Kai was smarter than they had assumed because he clearly noticed that they weren't their usual selves. The problem was that there were about hundred students gazing at them as if it was show. They were standing in the main corridor and more or less blocked the way. Instead of telling them off, they were waiting for Lu Han's reply.

 

 

 

 

This was too embarrassing to be answered. With a nervous laugh, Lu Han pushed both Kai and Baekhyun away from the crowd. He apologized and bowed at the other students who were as stunned as Kai. He struggled because he didn't want to be pushed away and act as if nothing happened. He wasn't dense if they thought he was. He knew that there was something going on but they just refused to tell him. If Lu Han and Baekhyun wouldn't come to him and explain themselves then Kai would take the matter in his own hands.

 

 

 

 

 

After escaping the crowd, Lu Han pushed the other two into an empty and almost never occupied classroom. They needed to be alone to start a conversation. Before Kai could say something, Lu Han immediately ordered him to sit down. Yes Kai was angry and frustrated but he was still in love with Lu Han so he might as well listen to him. He didn't forget to pull an annoyed face though. Sighing Baekhyun sat next to Kai and shot the boy next to him a glare.

 

 

 

"This kid has problems." Baekhyun hissed obviously picking on the youngest of them. He didn't appreciate it to be dragged out of class which by the way wasn't finished yet and forced to be answering his questions. When he had met Kai he was way calmer than now, something must have changed his mind.

 

 

"I might have problems but at least I'm not keeping secrets from my friend!" Kai shouted back and turned himself so he was facing Baekhyun, Lu Han was long forgotten.

 

 

 

"I'm not your friend!"

 

 

 

"Who was talking about you?!"

 

 

 

 

Lu Han was merely standing in front of them and attempted to calm them down. He didn't know what else he should do as none of them were listening to him. He turned his head to Kai and then to Baekhyun whenever each of them had something to say. After two minutes of mindless arguing of both of them, he had enough. Lu Han screamed 'quiet' as loud as he could and from that precise second on, the others stopped their yelling. Now Lu Han had the attention he wanted on him, he could finally speak.

 

 

 

 

"Okay...what exactly happened here?" He asked and sincerely was curious about Kai's reason to have gathered them all together. Something must have been wrong and his talk about 'keeping secrets' made Lu Han nervous. It was not that they purposely hid the whole Kris situation from Kai. They did say that nobody should know about it but Kai just happened to be left out. They didn't want to make him feel like that, he didn't even hang around with Lu Han.

 

 

 

 

Kai waited for a few moments until he spoke this time calmer, "What's with you and Kris? I heard him talk about you. You guys aren't dating right?" He could accept Sehun as his rival but someone like Kris wasn't worthy to have any sorts of feelings towards his Lu Han. That would be just wrong; he wasn't someone who would date. The pause after Kai's questions was scary because Lu Han wasn't denying it. He looked troubled and instead of looking at Kai his eyes searched for Baekhyun's.

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun slowly shook his head and had a warning expression on his face. Kai was not supposed to know about the picture or the whole mess. It was not that Kai wasn't trustworthy but if the plan would backfire then Kris would look for all people that would be involved with Lu Han. And that would mean that Kai wouldn't be safe. Lu Han didn't want that. So he ought to be as watchful as possible about the whole matter.

 

 

 

 

 

"Y-Yes...we kinda are..." Lu Han supposed and hoped that the reaction would not be what he expected to happen.

 

 

 

 

 

Sadly it was because Kai was staring at him with an intense, unreadable expression. Rather than angry he seemed let down. His gaze never once wavered from Lu Han's face. He was waiting for Lu Han to say that it was all a joke or something like that but it never happened. His brain registered what happened and that this was not a joke. Actually Lu Han had thought that a sharp minded person like Kai would have picked that up and yelled at him. He didn't. Lu Han was very good at reading others and in that moment what Kai felt was worse than getting yelled at.

 

 

 

 

He scoffed and got up from his so that the chair screeched and the desk moved.

 

 

 

 

"I've expected better from you. I don't ing care if you don't like me back but Kris is the entrance to a horrible relationship. Hell I would rather want you to take that Sehun; he would treat you better than Kris would think about." Kai knew how to hurt others with words and this ability was shocking as Lu Han felt horrible. He technically hadn't done anything wrong regarding Kai so it hurt even more. They weren't close friend since the foundation of their friendship was just Kai hunting after Lu Han but Lu Han considered him as someone he could trust.

 

 

 

And it was the other way round too.

 

 

 

He slammed the door shut after leaving which woke Lu Han up from his train of thoughts. If he was currently doing one thing well then it was getting himself into deeper mess. He had enough problems and this just added up to the pile. Baekhyun had some nice words left and tried to make him feel better. He knew what Lu Han was going through and it was not like he could do anything to change the situation. It was important for Kai to not be aware of what was going on underneath the surface. Lu Han wasn't lucky in anything and could just wait for a miracle to happen.

 

 

 

 

 

He really could need one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He couldn't understand how a kind person like Lu Han would ever associate himself with Kris. They were total opposites and that they attracted each other was just bull. Kai didn't believe in that, he just kept on running. He needed to find Sehun and tell him about it. They could join forces and get rid of Kris together; he was not good enough for Lu Han. And those rumours that Kris was responsible for Chanyeol staying at home made now sense to him. He was probably the one to threaten Chanyeol or do something to him that had him scared.

 

 

 

 

Kai ran faster and faster.

 

 

 

 

Until he crashed against someone and fell on his back. He groaned and got up while scratching his head. The other person he collided with was still sitting on the ground when Kai was back on his feet. He was much smaller and relatively fragile looking for a boy. Without thinking much, Kai stretched his hand and waited for him to take it. The other waited for a moment until he slipped his hand into Kai's and let himself be drawn up. From then on it was a bit awkward because Kai could just jog around the other and leave again.

 

 

 

The other turned around and frowned.

 

 

 

 

 

"Watch where you are going."

 

 

 

 

 

 

But Kai was already gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-x-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The day couldn't get any worse for Lu Han. First disappointing Kai and now he couldn't even reach Sehun. It was Friday and he was anxious about the next day or even the day after. It could have been any of the two. What scared him the most was that Sehun could have moved already and that was why he wasn't picking up his phone? It could have been that he wanted to avoid Lu Han for the time being no matter how rude that sounded. No, he couldn't let those pessimistic thoughts take over his mind.

 

 

He knew that he wouldn't be able to quickly see Sehun as they weren't in the same year group but despite that he thought that they could see each other. And then Lu Han could spend his last day together with him, it would make him happy. He was kind of used to the feeling that everything was going wrong. It was nothing new that Lu Han couldn't find Sehun when school ended and everyone was leaving. He felt empty now that also Kai didn't want to have anything to do with him.

 

 

 

Twisting the end of his shirt uneasily between his fingers, Lu Han watched the people exiting the school with friends. He was just someone in the midst of hundred others who was still looking for the one he wanted to see the most. He should be prepared for the worst but Sehun wouldn't just leave without saying a word. He wouldn't do that, Lu Han was more than sure. And just when he was on the verge of leaving, he could clearly see Sehun standing at the gates. He held his phone in his hand and seemed like he was waiting for someone. And that someone must have been Lu Han.

 

 

 

 

 

At first he was just walking slowly and then gradually picked up his speed until he was actually running towards Sehun.

 

 

 

 

His heart was slamming against ribcage and the light-headedness made him feel sick. Not that he cared because he didn't and only had Sehun in his eyes. He eventually slowed down but was still running towards to that point of being able to collide with him. He did in a way as he threw his arms around Sehun's shoulders, holding him tight. Sehun needed a moment to realise what just happened. He looked down at the other and then up where other students occasionally ogled at them while leaving.

 

 

 

The rigidity that froze Sehun's body vanished, before he relaxed and leant into Lu Han's embrace. He was confused but had the feeling that he should hug back. For now he didn't have a clue why exactly Lu Han would be hugging him. Yes, he was moving but was that really a good enough reason? He slid his arms around Lu Han's waist, placing his chin over his shoulder as he held the other boy close by. Sehun was not the one for skin ship but this was totally different.

 

 

 

Now that Lu Han was sure that Sehun was still there, he pulled away from the hug. So he hadn't moved away yet. That was good, he did say weekend but the paranoia didn't leave Lu Han alone. He also had to figure out if Sehun was actually waiting for him or Krystal. A few days ago he was sure that it would have been him but now things have miserably changed. He thought that Kai was making up stuff when he said that they were dating. That Baekhyun thought like him and basically half of the school woke Lu Han up from his fantasy that Sehun wouldn't date anyone if it wasn't him.

 

 

 

 

He didn't care if they were dating; he just wanted to be with Sehun.

 

 

 

"Who were you waiting for? You know I've called you so many times, why didn't you pick up?!" The anger and worry of those unpicked called have come back and made him mad all over again. Lu Han was surely overreacting but he did not think that he was. He was concerned which was not like overreacting. Anything could have happened to him.

 

 

Sehun's face changed from amazed that he had been hugged back to his usual irritated face, "Battery died. I'm waiting for Krystal but she isn't coming so you are good too." He didn't say more and took a hold of Lu Han's wrist and pulled him to the parking lot. The happiness that Sehun indirectly had waited for him was shattered into pieces when Lu Han also spotted Kris and his friends in the parking lot. They had a car and were at the back while Sehun was walking towards the front. Lu Han knew that there was some huge distance but that didn't mean that they couldn't see him.

 

 

 

 

It was not like they were the only ones in the parking lot. Though Lu Han's bright blue tracksuit jacket around his waist was just too noticeable. Anyone could have seen him like that and that was why they had to hurry up. The problem was that that Lu Han couldn't because he didn't know that Sehun had a car or was it a motorbike? There were a handful of bikes positioned and yes Sehun approached one of them. He slipped his hand into his pocket and had a key in his hand. Then he dragged the backside up to get out a helmet.

 

 

 

"Here." Sehun said while Lu Han was still watching Kris as if his life depended on it. He was doing it so obvious that he barely caught the helmet and thus made Sehun nosy. What exactly had Lu Han's attention like that? When he turned his head to look, it sparked in Lu Han's mind causing him to grab Sehun's arm and turn him. He couldn't risk it to let him see Kris; it would only make everything more confusing than it already was.

 

 

 

 

"L-Let's go now." Lu Han said you quickly for his own taste but that was what panic did to him. That Sehun had originally waited for Krystal didn't bother him anymore, he didn't care. The only thing he could still hold onto was that Sehun had never said anything about dating. If it was really important then he could have at least said something or mentioned it right? But he didn't and was quiet about it what on the other hand supported the fact that they weren't dating. Sehun didn't say much to that and was certainly still curious about what had earlier happened.

 

 

 

"Get on." He instructed and waited for Lu Han to put on his stupid helmet. He needed ages since he was still thinking about what had just happened. Sehun sighed as the other was currently struggling to fasten the strap. Sehun said something about being slow what Lu Han didn't quite catch. He was no longer whispering, but speaking strongly and clearly, his gaze holding Lu Han's and his hands still resting on the helmet. Sehun’s thumb was making repetitive sweeping over Lu Han's forehead. There was nothing on it and yet Sehun looked for excuses to do that. 

 

 

 

"Where is your helmet?" Lu Han asked when he held onto Sehun's shoulder to get on the backseat. He noticed that Sehun had closed the back of the motorbike after giving Lu Han the helmet. Did he only have one? He sat down and he gazed at Sehun for an answer. His heart was beating in an unknown rhythm while his palms began to sweat. He actually gave his only helmet away. Well it was not that Sehun was the only person in the world to do that. But what made it different was that it was him.

 

 

 

Oh Sehun who everyone was afraid of, was kind to Lu Han.

 

 

 

 

This didn't need a response as Sehun didn't bother to say something and only threw his leg over the seat. They haven't even started and yet Lu Han was excited. He thought that their meeting would be sad as Sehun would soon go away but it wasn't. Lu Han was happy- probably happier than he ever was with Sehun around. He didn't know why he reacted with the opposite feeling. Instead of feeling heartbroken he only felt joyfulness. The moving away was for him in his mind something farfetched. Although Sehun was the one who had said that, he didn't believe in that.

 

 

 

 

Sehun the engine but then he didn't start driving and turned around to Lu Han.

 

 

 

 

 

"I've changed my mind; give me my helmet I don't want to be arrested."

 

 

Lu Han did that what he was good at and whined, "No you gave it to me so now it's mine! Don't worry I will be your helmet!"

 

 

 

"That makes no sense." Sehun rolled his eyes and pushed themselves on the bike back with his foot on the ground.

 

 

 

 

But then when did Lu Han say something that made sense?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-x-

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sehun was actually a very good driver. And no police was in sight so not a lot of people noticed the lack of helmet on Sehun. They used a street where barely any cars were on which allowed Sehun to drive slowly so the wind wouldn't destroy his hair. What he also took notice of was that Lu Han was undeniably annoying. He took advantage of the fact that almost no cars were there and did the stupidest things. Like standing on his seat and made poses which would cause him to break his neck if Sehun ever decided to abruptly halt.

 

 

 

He actually did it once so Lu Han would realise that it was dangerous and he should sit down with his glued on the seat. Sehun couldn't risk it to get into an accident and this was only his first year of driving so Lu Han should behave. And what he also did that drove Sehun crazy was that he purposely (or not) firmly hugged Sehun. He didn't even need to do that but he did as he would have a reason to be close to him. It was not that Sehun hated it, he was just not used to that.

 

 

 

 

They arrived at Lu Han's house which Sehun had now seen for the first time. He didn't know where to park so he randomly stopped in front of the property. Lu Han did his best to quickly get off so Sehun wouldn't have to help him down. He landed on his feet with a thump and pushed the helmet up. Sehun didn't do anything and only had his right foot down on the ground. He looked like he honestly wanted to say something because his eyes darted to the left and right. And it was not a secret because Lu Han knew about that. 

 

 

 

"Here you go." He returned the helmet to Sehun who accepted it. Then this heavy silence entered which had both of them silent. Lu Han was waiting for Sehun to say what he wanted to say. He knew that there was something. This made Sehun nervous, he was surprised that Lu Han was aware of his actual reason of dropping him home. He had said that he wanted to actually pick up Krystal. This couldn't possibly be true as she had a skirt and wouldn't go on his motorbike.

 

 

They could have walked together too though Sehun wasn't the person to leave his belongings overnight in school. This all meant that he did indeed come for Lu Han alone. He had no choice- Sehun rummaged in his jacket pocket and found a little piece of paper. He looked at it for a second before he gave it to Lu Han. The one who received it regarded the paper with an address on it.

 

 

 

Sehun slithered his helmet over his head, "Come tomorrow at eleven to the train station. I'll have to take a night train with my parents. Under that is my new address." 

 

 

 

 

All the pieces fit together, fate hated Lu Han he was sure. During that time he should be with Kris and it was also the next day. Lu Han wouldn't make an effort to understand why everything was going horribly wrong. He needed to make his decision soon; he had to give Sehun an answer. Now or never, Kris or Sehun. He forced himself to focus and cast his mind about whom of them needed Lu Han the most, something to fill the silence between them. Lu Han softly smiled and nodded his head, looking at the paper.

 

 

 

 

He would be there.

 

 

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

I've introduced another character who's an airhead!

 

The one on the bench :)

 

 

Please leave comments what you thought about this chapter!

 

Life Atilt - criminal!Hunhan

 

bomi xoxo