thank you.

 

 

 

 

Not a lot of time was left until Lu Han had to show what he had learned. Chanyeol got harsher with every passing day or maybe it was just Lu Han getting lazier. He did his best- but sometimes Lu Han couldn't concentrate. He was laying on his bed and tried to remember how to play certain parts. He was in a sideways sleeping position with his head pillowed in his crossed arms; his gentle exhalations met the guitar. Whenever Lu Han was slacking off, Sehun decided to not do anything. He could have scolded him but he didn't because he knew how difficult it was for Lu Han.

 

 

Sehun approached the bed with soundless irritation and stood in front of him for a moment, watching him think. There weren't many times when Lu Han could sleep on his bed instead of the mattress. He had given it up for Sehun though this was his smallest worry. He had been acting a little off lately. Well the moment Chanyeol trained him harder, Lu Han looked fatigued and disappeared to practice for more than an hour. When he came back he was distinctly quiet and, although he did say that he was not anxious, Sehun didn't want him to stress out.

 

 

Dropping himself on the bed, Sehun shook Lu Han's shoulders, "Hey...you okay?" He asked and attempted to wake him from his daydreaming. When that failed Sehun turned him around so that Lu Han would lay on his back. Then he put his hand on his shoulder and shook him. Lu Han moved his eyes up and then sat upright, his arm instantly reaching for the guitar. By then he realised that Sehun must have put the guitar aside to sit down.

 

 

Surprised, but standing his ground, Sehun watched comprehension work its way into the Lu Han's wide eyes. He exhaled his detained breath and looked around quickly to make sure that no one else was there. He lowered his hand as his eyes darted around the room, "You can't be this close...what if my parents come?" Lightly blushing Lu Han asked and put his hand on Sehun's chest. His actions totally spoke against what he had just said. Realising this, Lu Han, tried to let out a laugh but only managed a nervous chuckle as he ran a trembling hand on his arm up and down.

 

 

"What's wrong with you? Why are you so nervous?" Sehun asked in worry because this was not a sight he usually saw. The answer he got was that Lu Han stopped laughing and rather jumped off the bed. He noticed that Sehun did not return the small smile that he gave him, so he let it diminish from his lips. He looked down at his hands gracelessly, trying to force himself to say what he needed to say. "I'm just not used to the pressure you know." He whispered and walked around in the room with his hands up. Sehun who was still on the bed couldn't tell if Lu Han did this out of boredom or to annoy him.

 

 

But he knew what to say, "You'll do well. I'm sure." Sehun rarely complimented anyone so Lu Han should show his gratitude. It was one o'clock in the morning. Ten hours were left until the competition. He had ten hours left to memorise, chords, chorus hell everything he needed to perform. Lu Han still didn't know his enemies so how was he supposed to do well? He didn't know anything. The funniest thing about this situation was that he was going to take in a minor competition. This wasn't even a big one so if he was freaking out now then how would he do in the future?

 

 

Lu Han looked at him for a moment silently, carefully choosing his words.

 

 

"I'm scared. But then I don't have a reason.  I don't know how I should feel."

 

 

 

Sehun silently gazed at him which told him to continue.

 

 

 

"I'm tired and want to sleep but then I don't want to wake up and know that I won't have time to prepare." Lu Han carried on and from that perspective it made sense. It made sense for Lu Han to be scared- if he felt that he wasn't ready yet. He wasn't the only one. Sehun took a steadying breath and nodded, trying to digest that. He got to his feet and made his way to the other without explanation, deliberately not looking at Lu Han. When he got to the verge of speaking he paused and half looked up as if he would say something, but then he shook his head.

 

 

 

Hopefully Sehun would come up with something before Lu Han would go mad.

 

 

This usually didn't happen. Lu Han was very optimistic and laid back. He hated it to be the one to be comforted. That would show that he was weak. So when Sehun pulled him into a hug, he was too weak to do something against that and just let it happen. His parents were asleep, the lights in Lu Han's room were off, and they wouldn't suspect a thing. With Sehun's expressionless face it was hard to tell what exactly he was thinking about, but Lu Han swore that he could feel his gaze and after he pulled away he could see it.

 

 

 

"I think you need some courage. Would it be alright if I tell you that I won't move?"

 

 

 

"You said that already." Lu Han deadpanned with a blank face.

 

 

The younger looked at Lu Han for a moment, ignoring the remark. The other—while still proclaiming himself with his unsure position was looking increasingly disconcerted. He knew that Sehun just meant to be nice and supportive and Lu Han loved it to turn everything around. Though he couldn't possibly know what was going on in Sehun's mind. He had other things to show, Lu Han wouldn't think about. Though with the silence he must have sensed that something was wrong.

 

 

 

"Dress up we are going out." Pushing Lu Han towards the wardrobe, Sehun shamelessly urged him to change.

 

 

 

 

Lu Han didn't say anything to that and pulled his tracksuit out.

 

 

 

Sehun stared at it and seemed like he was in deep thought.

 

 

 

 

"Get me one too."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-x-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lu Han and Sehun were currently on their way to school. It was dark outside- pitch black and only a few cars were rushing on the streets. Lu Han instinctively held Sehun's hand when a cat jumped in front of him. He made a shoo-shoo motion with his hand so the cat would leave which it without hesitation did. Lu Han didn't understand why Sehun would take him on this time to the school. He insisted to also bring his guitar with him. And why did Sehun want to wear one of Lu Han's (biggest) tracksuits?

 

 

Sehun was very aware that Lu Han had a problem. He noticed him watching Sehun closely, his huge eyes analysing and calculating the situation. A few times they had caught each other's gaze and Sehun made it clear without any words at all that there was no reason to be concerned. He would help Lu Han with his nervousness. Even if that meant that he had to wear himself those tracksuits. Actually they were kinda comfortable. Now he could see why Lu Han refused to wear his uniform.

 

 

"Sehun what are we going to do?" He asked in the silence and held the other's hand tighter. Lu Han wanted to know what exactly was happening. Usually Sehun never did that and it was Lu Han with those weird ideas. This time however Sehun would show that he was also capable of having good ideas. He dragged the elder while Lu Han tripped after him with the guitar on his back. Still being uncertain Lu Han whispered something, his voice breaking ever so slightly as he made this acknowledgment that Sehun could tell he had never confessed before, even to himself.

 

 

 

 

 

"Sehun I know this is not the appropriate place to say this but I love you. I really really do."

 

 

 

Finding at first no words, Sehun stopped walking and thoughtfully reached for the Lu Han's shoulder and gripped it firmly. The elder tolerated it for a moment, but Sehun could not tell whether or not he took any comfort from it. After a moment, the hand moved up and cupped Lu Han's left cheek. Throughout the years Sehun had mastered himself with feelings and how to hide them well. He never wanted anyone to know how he was feeling. Never wanted anyone to know what he was thinking. 

 

 

Almost contemporarily the desolation and fear was gone from Lu Han's face leaving it with a smile. He didn't want an answer now. Sehun had as much time as he needed to answer this. He couldn't expect from someone who didn't know friendship nor love to immediately reply that he was also feeling the same. In fact Lu Han should be happy that Sehun liked or loved him even back. That he dared to hold his hand and tried to cheer him up whenever he was down. He was grateful that Sehun was doing these things. It would remind Lu Han that Sehun was his boyfriend and at least liked him enough to be like that.

 

 

 

But Sehun's answer would always surprise Lu Han.

 

 

 

"Well that makes us two."

 

 

 

Followed by this, Sehun was suddenly tackled from the other. Weak arms encircling him and squeezing the air from his lungs. Lu Han couldn't keep his happiness to himself and continued to hug Sehun as hard as he was able to, if one considered the sound of the younger wheezing for breath, was pretty hard. It was difficult to breathe when Lu Han kept on cuddling him to death. He should learn how to express his feelings better, even Sehun was better at that. 

 

 

 

What could Lu Han do? He was so happy that Sehun didn't back off. He thought that their relationship would soon end bearing in mind that it was Oh Sehun whom he was with. Neither of them was an expert at dating. So thinking that this fantasy would soon end was a possibility. Sehun opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again. He didn't know what to say. He had come all this way with a firm goal in mind, but he had no idea how to bring up the subject. He was silent for a moment then took a deep breath, inhaling Lu Han's scent who was still glued on him.

 

 

 

 

"You have to let go. I can't walk like that." Sehun had never been very vocal about skinship, but now when he spoke Lu Han raised his head and paid attention. His eyes bored into Sehun's with strong intensity, but Sehun did not dare to look away. Then Lu Han smiled and removed his arms. He held onto both straps of his guitar bag and marched forwards, saying that Sehun should better move himself. That was the first time for Lu Han to be like that. He usually followed Sehun like a lost puppy and also tried to hold his hand.

 

 

Another thing that surprised him was that Lu Han wasn't scared of the darkness. Even if he wouldn't have been, there were still stray cats and maybe even dogs lingering around. And Sehun was sure that Lu Han would soon come back because it would be impossible for him to ignore the animals or the swinging trees that gave out howling sounds. When Sehun had caught up with Lu Han who was at the front he asked if everything was okay, as something in his voice demanded that Lu Han should meet his eyes. Hesitantly Lu Han stopped and turned around, his eyes directly meeting Sehun's.

 

 

 

 

"I-I'm not scared if that is what you are trying to find out. I'm totally fine." Feeling the heat rise in his face Lu Han stepped forwards and pointed at his confused boyfriend.

 

 

"I didn't imply that."

 

 

 

"Yeah but you gave me this look. I-I'm not afraid okay? There is noth-"

 

 

 

The sound of a cat meowing was the trigger for Lu Han to shriek and jump into Sehun's arms who barely caught him. Indeed there was a white cat where Lu Han was a second ago and continuously meowed at the two with innocent eyes. Well those eyes wouldn't trick Lu Han; he knew how evil they were. Wrapping his arms around Sehun's neck, Lu Han whimpered and then screamed that Sehun should 'make it go away'. He couldn't stand those....things. They were even worse than dogs. They had this face where one couldn't tell what they were thinking. But one thing was for sure.

 

 

 

Evilness came from them.

 

 

 

Ignoring Lu Han's cries, Sehun let him without warning go so that Lu Han dropped down. Instead of being angry at Sehun for doing that, Lu Han cried out a set of curses directed at the cat and then hid behind Sehun's back. He fisted his hands on Sehun's jacket and pushed his face on it too. He couldn't understand why Sehun was so calm around it. He even dared to kneel down and pat the evil animal on its head. Lu Han waited for him to say something in his own defence but in its place he still looked at the cat and focused on its fur by gliding his hand on its back. The cat showed satisfaction by purring whereupon Sehun smiled and told Lu Han to come closer:

 

 

 

"Come on. Touch it."

 

 

 

"NO! They are scary..."

 

 

 

Stifling a laugh, Sehun smiled and turned around to grasp Lu Han's hand. Then he pulled it down which caused Lu Han to also move downward. Realising what Sehun was about to do, Lu Han tried to move away which didn't quite work out for him mostly because Sehun was stronger than him. He wanted Lu Han to feel how soft the fur was before going back to hating all animals on the planet.

 

 

 

"They are scary I'm afraid...! What if it bites my hand?! I won't be able to play..." Trying to find every reason to not do it, Lu Han rasped breathlessly this excuse, a desperate sort of dismay widening his eyes. Sehun was aware of that. He knew, because Lu Han had just voiced a concern that had been plaguing his mind whenever there was an animal around. It wasn't an act but saying that the 'evil cat' would bite his hand off was something that Sehun had to clarify. Lu Han mostly feared his own potential uncertainty, and feared even more that those around him could see it too.

 

 

 

"I promise you she won't do anything to y-"

 

 

 

"She?! You are already cheating on me?! And that with a cat..." Lu Han sighed and shot a dirty look at his boyfriend before saying something in a low, scarcely audible mutter, and his face was flushing slightly. The only thing that Sehun could do was stare at the other with wide eyes because Lu Han was a bit crazy when he got nervous. He was probably thinking about the competition again. Even though the reason Sehun got him out of the house was to divert him. But Lu Han just had to bring his guitar with him, a very smart move.

 

 

 

 

Sehun sighed as well and heaved the cat up, carrying it with limbs stretched in his arms. He stepped forwards and wriggled the cat to the left and right:

 

 

"Touch it."

 

 

 

Making a disgusted face Lu Han stepped back and shook his head:

 

 

 

"NO!"

 

 

 

Sehun took another step and tried again.

 

 

 

"It's easy. Touch it."

 

 

 

 

Already trembling, Lu Han placed his fisted hand on his lips and remained stubborn.

 

 

 

"NO! NO! NO!"

 

 

 

 

Within seconds he ran past Sehun and shook his head.

 

 

 

"GET AWAY FROM ME!"

 

 

 

 

Sehun nonchalantly jogged after his boyfriend with still the cat in his arms.

 

 

 

"Come on touch it!"

 

 

 

 

 

"GO AWAY!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After running for about ten minutes Sehun's stamina protested so that he released the cat which ran back home. He couldn't drag the cat around with him when its owners didn't know where it was. Lu Han however was still sprinting as if his life depended on it. He was so scared that it wasn't normal anymore. Scary darkness and clowns were nothing compared to cats who thought that the entire world belonged to them. He hated how they acted as if they were superior to other animals. Lu Han hated all kinds of animals but that didn't mean that he would ignore discrimination.

 

 

 

 

Sehun called after him and tried to tell him that he didn't even have the cat anymore but Lu Han didn't believe him. What if the cat was hiding somewhere? And then scratch his face for revenge. Lu Han wasn't stupid. He wouldn't stop running. No matter what Sehun would do. He was older than the other and therefore he had to show his maturity. Why should he always listen to someone way younger than him? That didn't make any sense. He wouldn't fall for whatever Sehun had in mind because Lu Han was a strong, independent-

 

 

 

 

"Come here baby! I'm sorry!"

 

 

 

 

What was that for a pet name?

 

 

 

Whatever it was, Lu Han loved it because he ran straight back to Sehun's arms.

 

 

He didn't know why but it made him feel so warm. Screw independence and age, Lu Han would forever do whatever Sehun would tell him to. He hugged him with a smile while Sehun patted his head and apologised for hunting after the elder with a cat. He assumed that he would be able to help Lu Han with his fear. Didn't one have to be directly confronted with their fear to be able to overcome it? He had always thought that it was like that.

 

 

Fortunately all the anger vanished from Lu Han's mind as soon as Sehun had called him. It was a bit difficult for Sehun to hug him back because of the guitar but that didn't mean that he didn't want to. Instead, he gave Lu Han a quick kiss on his forehead. That was a way for him to apologise. Lu Han didn't expect this and carefully touched his forehead, surprised that Sehun had done that. Generally he didn't like to do those things much less in public but there wasn't anyone around. Apart from this cat which was probably still around.

 

 

 

 

"I'm not mad anymore." Lu Han blushed and rested his forehead on Sehun's chest. He wasn't lying, he wasn't angry. He should be happy that Sehun wanted to distract him from his fears in the first place. It was simply bad luck that this car appeared and made Lu Han so furious. Sehun didn't have control over anything so Lu Han understood it.

 

 

 

"I'm glad." Sehun answered and caressed Lu Han's red cheeks several times.

 

 

 

"You know why?"

 

 

 

Lu Han looked up at him and unknowingly shook his head.

 

 

 

Turning his back on Lu Han, Sehun picked up the cat from the ground and faced Lu Han again:

 

 

 

"Because she missed you!"

 

 

 

 

 

A loud cry of fear echoed through the streets.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-x-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next stop Sehun wanted to go was the school. He said he had another idea to bring Lu Han on different thoughts. It was something he had thought about for a very long time so he couldn't wait to actually try it out. Behind him Lu Han was sluggishly trailing behind with arms on his chest and dry tear marks around his eyes. He really didn't know how to take a joke because Sehun hadn't done it on purpose. It was funny- amusing even to see Lu Han so terrified about a simple cat. It wasn't even aggressive or anything like that.

 

 

 

Sehun turned around and asked him if he was okay.

 

 

 

"Leave me alone!"

 

 

 

Without saying anything but having a faint smile, Sehun turned back and couldn't believe that Lu Han was still angry about that. Didn't he know what simple humour was? "Aren't you a bit too sensitive? Come here I'll let you hold my hand." Sehun tried to win him over because it would be too stressful if Lu Han would be like that for the whole night. He couldn't really have that. Lu Han frowned and opened his mouth to argue, but the younger continued before he had the chance. He knew that Lu Han was thinking, it was not difficult at all.

 

 

 

"Don't worry. There are no cats here. Where am I supposed to even hide them?"

 

 

 

Still not being sure Lu Han looked away:

 

 

 

"I don't know. Ask yourself."

 

 

 

 

Are you serious

 

 

 

 

 

Sehun couldn't stand it anymore and personally walked back to Lu Han who was purposely moving as slow as he could. He snatched Lu Han's hand and hauled him because they couldn't waste time with being so slow. It didn't seem like Lu Han was offended seeing that he was silent and if anything he even smiled. He loved it to play hard to get because Sehun would make an effort to make him happy. It was known that Sehun hated it to do such things so if he would do it for Lu Han then it made him special right?

 

 

 

 

It took a few minutes for Sehun to climb over the fence but with patience he made it and was waiting for Lu Han to follow. As Lu Han was climbing, Sehun was glancing at the building to figure out how they could enter it. If there were open windows more importantly. He was thinking about that and didn't notice that instead of climbing down; Lu Han merely let himself drop on the younger. He was sitting on Sehun's back with a guiltless face and then smiled at the boy underneath him:

 

 

 

"Thank you Sehun. That was kind of you."

 

 

 

Not being able to move himself, Sehun responded that Lu Han was welcome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were lucky because there was an open window in one of the classrooms through which they could climb through. This time Sehun was careful to not be close to the window after he was inside. That would avoid him getting suffocated by Lu Han once more. Lu Han on the other hand had troubles climbing even though the window was shorter than him so how was that possible. Sehun didn't think much to that and was standing at the windowsill while Lu Han was halfway in. He had positioned his right foot on the sill and had both of his arms on Sehun's shoulders.

 

 

 

"Carefully okay?" Saying this, Sehun pulled him inside the classroom and waited until Lu Han had both of his feet on the floor. After that they checked whether the classroom was locked or not. It wasn't locked to what Lu Han fist pumped up to the ceiling and simply skipped through the hallway after opening the door. He wasn't scared because Sehun was somewhere behind him. If he knew what Sehun was thinking then he could tell why he wanted to bring him to school. He made his way towards the library which was a bit difficult to recognise as there was no light.

 

 

Sehun was already behind him and put both of his hands on Lu Han's shoulders.

 

 

 

 

It was the exact same spot where Sehun had sat when they met each other for the first time.

 

 

 

"What if you could rerun time and meet me again for the first time. Is there something you really wanted to say but you had no courage? Or to do?"

 

 

 

The way Sehun whispered into his ear caused Lu Han to squeeze his eyes shut and shiver. He felt as if the breath had been knocked from his lungs. If there was something he wanted to say or do? Yes of course. He nodded his head while Sehun smiled and walked towards the bookshelf. After staring at it for a moment, he pulled out a book and sat at the very same seat. He opened the book and was reading which was the signal for Lu Han to go out. He did leave before getting the guitar off his back because at that time he didn't have a guitar yet. He carefully leaned it against the wall and closed the door behind his back.

 

 

 

 

Moving his gaze to the book, Sehun watched the letters. At that point when the door moved, Sehun raised his head and turned his attention to Lu Han. He stared at him for a moment, and then shook himself, visibly trying to put together his sprinkled thoughts. His eyes cleared a little, but it was easy to see that he was struggling to keep his mind composed. Lu Han ran past him like the first time because he was attempting to hide from his teacher. This time it wasn't the sunlight that shone on Lu Han but the moonlight.

 

 

 

And it made him even more beautiful.

 

 

 

Sehun's heart raced irregularly in his chest. He waited for Lu Han to hide behind the bookshelves or walk up to him and say 'you'. Like on their first meeting. This was what Sehun was waiting for because he didn't think that Lu Han wanted to say something this early. He had just seen Sehun for one second so what exactly would he want to say? His chest rose and fell rhythmically, his inhalations bottomless and steadier now that Sehun was looking back at him.

 

 

 

 

There was something that Lu Han wanted to do when he had seen Sehun in the library.

 

 

 

 

 

He placed both of his hands on Sehun's cheeks and put one knee on the desk.

 

 

 

Lu Han pushed his lips against Sehun's- in no way slowly or gently. He kept his warm palm against Sehun's cheek, lips guiding until they were fitting and pressed together seamlessly. As slow heat twisted low in Lu Han's stomach once he moved even closer by pushing his knee harder against the desk. Regardless of that he felt himself going weak so that Sehun quickly scooped him up into his strong arms. Lu Han helplessly wrapped his arms around Sehun's  tall frame.

 

 

 

Their eyes met and Sehun finally had the chance to speak:

 

 

 

"This is what you wanted to do?" He asked that on an exhale, the words quick between their lips, and Lu Han hummed a little and nodded.  He kissed Sehun firmer, after leaning in upon which there was no response and he understood that. He wasn't as naive as Sehun thought he was nor was he as oblivious or as blameless. He knew the way Lu Han looked at him and everyone else, how friendly and joyful he was. That couldn't be normal. Why would you be so kind to someone? There were multiple answers to that.

 

 

 

Maybe he was just like that or only to Sehun because he had feelings for him.

 

 

 

 

"Hold on-" Sehun hastily took a hold of Lu Han's shoulders. The elder kept on leaning in even when he was already sitting on the desk.

 

 

 

 

Lu Han didn't think of listening as he flung himself on Sehun with his arms stretched out:

 

 

 

 

"Let me show you how much I love you!"

 

 

 

 

 

Since Lu Han thought that it was a good idea to leap on Sehun, the younger couldn't keep his balance and fell backwards together with Lu Han. The fall didn't hurt the elder as he landed on Sehun (like always) and therefore was fine. On the other hand, the one he landed on needed a moment to recover. Seeing that he held his head and muttered something like 'that hurt' it was obvious that he wasn't unaffected. He didn't know that Lu Han wanted to kiss him since day 1. He didn't know that Lu Han was so heavy either which he had realised on that night.

 

 

 

 

"Thank you Sehun! I'm not scared anymore!" Resting his head on Sehun's shoulder, Lu Han was happy that he had enough courage for the upcoming competition.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You are welcome."

 

 

 

For anything.

 

 

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Juniel - I think I'm in loveeeeee

 

I told you that they will kiss soon.

 

And it was Luhan who kissed lol

 

I LOVE YOU GUYS PLS ACCEPT MY SARANG

 

 

 

2 more chapters to go~

 

 

bomi xoxo