to apologise.

 

 

 

 

 

He was sure that he hadn't done anything wrong. Sehun was right, he had to be. It was Lu Han's fault that the picture existed in the first place so who was he trying to prove wrong? If he wouldn't have taken the picture then Sehun would have never been in that situation. So how was he wrong? Sehun just needed some ratification. He was looking around the club room enquiringly though analysing it desperately searching for someone. He waited patiently for a moment, before stepping further in.

 

 

When the door opened up, he instantly turned around though was disappointed. It was just Kai. Sehun's face was screwed up in attentiveness as he had expected someone shorter and more hyper. Because the look Kai was giving him ranged from a sarcastic how-can-I-help-you to an aggressive he's-mine. He could have Lu Han, Sehun didn't care. He simply needed to talk to Lu Han and that as soon as possible. What he wanted to discuss was something he didn't make his mind up yet.

 

 

 

But he had to talk to Lu Han that was for sure.

 

 

 

As it didn't look like Sehun would start the conversation Kai began to speed it up, "Do you need something or why are you looking at me like that?" He eyed the other boy carefully: he didn't look particularly dangerous, just slightly annoyed. Though he urgently wanted to know more why he was here, Kai knew not to wait for the information. He trailed his eyes around the room, his gaze landed back at Sehun who was still staring. He looked like he was debating carefully about something.

 

 

 

 

Kai was surely becoming sick of this game because if he had something to say then he should do so, "If you are looking for Lu Han, I won't tell my rival-"

 

 

 

 

"Is he okay?" Sehun abruptly interrupted. He waited for a moment to allow Kai to respond if he wanted to, but he didn't. He was just shocked- most likely about Sehun being concerned about someone else. Didn't he say that he didn't care about Lu Han? Everything was speaking against that but with this single question he showed worry. Now that Kai thought about that he lately hadn't seen them together. It could be a fight for all he knew.

 

 

 

"He's fine and made a friend I guess.  Baekhyun I think? I'm not sure." Kai looked down at the floor in front of him as he spoke, but he could see the Sehun just on the side-line of his vision; he hadn't moved and was still watching Kai considerately.

 

 

"Friends? Why would he have friends...?” Sehun's expression shifted slightly and Kai saw a brief flash of confusion and something he couldn't quite determine glint across his face before the indecision came back. He was curious of Lu Han's wellbeing for some reason. It didn't happen often that he would ask about others. And why did it have to be Lu Han in the first place? It could have been anyone really. It was like he was trying to tease Kai and show that he could care another person. And it had to be Lu Han since he was the one Kai liked the most.

 

 

"Well excuse you; he's not a loner like you. He needs friends. And his...uh...unique personality just limits that. He does want to make friends but he just has troubles." Kai defended him of course, who else would do that. And what annoyed him even more was that Sehun had this stupid expression that said that he didn't care much about that. That was funny because he was the one who had started the conversation about Lu Han. So why would he pull away?

 

 

 

Putting his hand on his forehead Kai plopped himself down on the couch and let out a sigh. Sometimes he couldn't deal with those kinds of people. Sehun's eyes trailed after the other who complained about all sorts of things. It didn't look like he was listening to Sehun anymore. It really didn't. Sehun wasn't done yet; he had more questions to ask. His heart felt awfully light. He didn't like that feeling and he wanted answers. It was him who had said that he didn't want to see Lu Han again. And here he was desperate enough to ask that person who would help him at the least.

 

 

 

 

"Does he cry?"

 

 

 

 

Kai sighed in irritation.

 

 

 

"What's with you and your ridiculous questions? Of course he does."

 

 

 

But that was not what he had meant. Sehun opened and closed his mouth quite a few times, trying to decide how to elaborate so Kai would understand. "I mean lately. Was he sad? Or pretends to be okay?" Sehun internally winced a little at his own words; they seemed so straightforward and most of all caring. He was asking about Lu Han. Should he be shocked or not? But he didn't know how else to ask. He didn't know which words would be appropriate and wouldn't make it sound like he was worried sick.

 

 

 

 

Why would he be interested in that? Kai couldn't understand how Sehun would benefit from knowing that, he didn't check on Lu Han.

 

 

"He did cry yesterday. I caught him but he said that he had an allergy or something like that. He has fake eye drops to ‘prove’ it. There was water inside though. His talk about an allergy is bull he was just crying."

 

 

Hearing that, it felt for Sehun like everything inside of him dropped, leaving him resonantly hollow. How many times did Lu Han pull the I-have-an-allergy card? The words kept repeating over and over inside his head, each discrete word piercing cuttingly in his heart until his heartbeat pounded improbably misleading to his ears. He couldn't move or speak, could do nothing but stare at Kai. He felt very stupid but did he actually do something wrong? It was his right to be angry that Kris had that picture.

 

 

 

The maddened expression Sehun made was enough confirmation for Kai that he may have done something. Why else would he ask? "Did you do anything to have made him cry?!" Kai raised his voice, knowing that there was no point in trying to find it out for himself. He was well aware that Sehun must have felt for some reason guilty. Otherwise he wouldn't have asked and remained quiet. It took Sehun a couple of seconds to understand why he was acting like that. He doubted that Lu Han had told Kai about the incident.

 

 

 

 

"I didn't. I have nothing-"

 

 

 

I'm very very sorry. I'll get it back to you. I promise.

 

 

I'm sorry.

 

 

 

 

Remembering those words was not a good idea. "I haven't." Sehun insisted, shaking his head. "I just wanted know how he's doing..." He probably shouldn't have said that because Kai looked stunned at this, like he couldn't imagine why anyone would do such a thing. Sehun had said a few times that he didn't care about Lu Han so why would he want to do that? Wouldn't it be just a waste of time? Maybe Kai's gut feeling was after all right and Sehun was really his rival but only in denial.

 

 

It could really be that because Sehun looked so stressed in that moment. His eyes darted to all sorts of places- excluding Kai of course and tried to breathe as calmly as possible. There was definitely something going on between Lu Han and Sehun, he just had to find out. After a brief pause Kai spoke again though Sehun barely heard him; it was like the information didn't stay in his brain. Could it be that he was truly thinking about Lu Han? He determinedly pushed aside the burning guiltiness that filled him. Sehun hadn't done anything wrong, he couldn't.

 

 

 

 

Shaking his head Sehun approached in spite of Kai eagerly asking him if he was still in the team.

 

 

 

 

 

Sehun didn't answer because he didn't know as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

-x-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hiding behind the doors that led to the basketball court, Lu Han and Baekhyun did their best to stay unsighted. They didn't want their cover to be blown off yet as there were things they had to do. Especially Lu Han who still had to 'confess' Kris his non-existent feelings and start an empty relationship. He admitted that he wasn't impressed but he had to do it for Sehun or more the picture. Baekhyun was thinking the exact same thing and started the mission by pushing Lu Han forwards so that the doors opened up.

 

 

 

Biting back a scream, Lu Han shied fiercely away from him, jumping backwards several steps, his face was full of terror. Instead of helping or at least comforting him, Baekhyun fought against his laughter that got stuck in his throat. He enjoyed it a bit too much. Seeing Lu Han dating someone like Kris was simply crazy and unimaginable.

 

 

 

"How could you do that? Don't do that it's not nice!" Lu Han wailed, hunching his shoulders slightly and put his arms around his waist. He immediately lowered his voice when realising that Kris and his team were a few metres away from them. Getting caught at spying at them was the last thing he wanted to happen to them. He was anyway a person who got embarrassed very easily and Kris asking what they were doing was a big no. Definitely not something he would be looking forward to.

 

 

Placing his hands on Lu Han's shoulders he pushed the elder forwards, "It's really easy. You can get your thing back from him, you can tell me if he plans to do something to Chanyeol and after you are done, you'll break up with him." It sounded so easy and simple but in reality it wasn't that. Kris just didn't fit to Lu Han. It was also going against to date a bully even if it was pretending. He wouldn't be able to do well. He bit the inside of his cheek with his teeth as he gazed at the boys from distance, visibly conflicted. He trusted Baekhyun completely, but he was nervous about doing this.

 

 

Frowning he shook his head and whined once again:

 

 

 

"No I can't! He's not my style! I prefer calm and quiet! He's the opposite!"

 

 

Voicing out his opinion didn't do much because Baekhyun watched him closely for a few seconds and was checking for any signs of disinclination or anxiety. With a determined look in on his face eyes, he nodded. "So you already like someone...interesting..." Upon hearing this, redness in Lu Han's face rose up but he was quick to deny that. He repeatedly said that he didn't like anyone and just generally preferred mature people over immature. The reason was that Lu Han was pretty childish and would need someone to put up with that.

 

 

"You are lying to me...who do you like?" Baekhyun narrowed his eyes as Lu Han eagerly shook his head and defensively raised his hands.

 

 

 

"I-I don't like anyone! I'll ask Kris out okay?! Please stop it now..!!" His blush intensified while Baekhyun hummed with folded arms, he wasn't taking it for granted. Mainly because Lu Han took a century to make one step and when he did, cried out that he would regret this decision. He was already. Even if he would break up with him, the label of being his past boyfriend wouldn't go away any time soon. He didn't want to be known as that.

 

 

 

 

"I'm going now..."

 

 

"Go."

 

 

"Hyung...I don't want to..! He's scary!" Lu Han complained and put his hands on his face in a scared manner. He didn't care anymore the outcome would always be the same.

 

 

"I'm younger than you! Are you perhaps mocking me?" Baekhyun pretended to pull up his sleeves for a fight but like expected Lu Han shied away.

 

 

 

"No of course not!"

 

 

 

 

"Then go there and ask him out."

 

 

 

 

"But...it feels like I'm betraying Sehun!" Lu Han shifted his gaze to Baekhyun when he saw the other boy tense slightly. That was the first time that Baekhyun heard about a Sehun. Was there more information Lu Han wasn't telling him? Baekhyun came out of his thoughts after that and held Lu Han's shy gaze for an infinite moment, a moment so full of something penetrating and unspeakable that Lu Han felt his breath catch in his throat.

 

 

 

"Is he your boyfriend?"

 

 

 

"N-No!" But I wish.

 

 

 

"Then how do you feel betrayed?"

 

 

 

 

Lu Han wouldn't be able to explain it like this so he tugged his friend back into the building and Baekhyun was keen to listen.

 

 

 

 

 

-x-

 

 

 

 

It was a bit difficult to explain why Lu Han had said that. He couldn't tell if Baekhyun would understand him in any way. He himself had problems to understand his own feelings so how should Baekhyun know? He would just come up with weird ideas. Lu Han didn't know him for long but he had the feeling that Baekhyun had the most ridiculous ideas like dating Kris. They didn't have a place to go since Kai would be in the room and Lu Han didn't want to explain the whole story. He didn't want to explain anything. So they were aimlessly walking through hallways which led to the changing rooms of the sports club.

 

 

 

He just wanted to get it done though Baekhyun pulling Sehun into the conversation was uncalled for. Actually it was Lu Han who involved him but it was Baekhyun who started talking about liking him. How should he know if Lu Han liked him? Speeding up his pace of walking, Lu Han has a visible frown on his face. It seemed like Baekhyun was amused by the situation since he smirked and followed Lu Han. He was having fun by seeing him so flustered and embarrassed which were signs of him having something for Sehun.

 

 

 

His confusing emotions weren't settling so Lu Han chanced a shy glance at the smirking Baekhyun out of the corner of his eye. He tried to go glare and tell him with this move that he didn't care but Baekhyun made the yeah-whatever-you-say face. He wouldn't believe Lu Han's explanation if he had any, his body was already answering. And Lu Han did know that because his cheeks felt so hot when he touched them. This was absurd, how could Lu Han like Sehun if he already failed as a friend?

 

 

 

Turning himself around again Lu Han did try to glare another time, "Please stop this now! I don't like him!"

 

 

 

 

"Yeah yeah. So you won't mind if I tell this Sehun that you don't have any feelings for him. It makes it easier for him to date someone else you know? Maybe even me." Was he trying to help Lu Han with his love life or make him cry? The second option was definitely working since Lu Han stopped in his tracks and finally turned his head to look at him, Lu Han could have affirmed his heart stopped beating. For a moment something burned in his eyes, he couldn't understand why Baekhyun would say that. Was he trying to really cheer him on?

 

 

 

Pointing his shaky finger at Baekhyun, Lu Han blew his cheeks up. "He's already dating Krystal! And if they break up...then he's mine!"

 

 

 

"So you admit that you like him." The other concluded and was glad that they have sorted that out.

 

 

 

But Lu Han wouldn't be Lu Han if he wouldn't mess up. He slowly dropped his finger with a blush and looked aside, "I...don't know..."

 

 

 

 

"BUT YOU JUST SAID THAT HE'S YOURS-"

 

 

 

"Can I take it back?"

 

 

"NO!"

 

 

 

"Eh...that's mean...but I will take it back." He turned back and was ready to leave but when his head was again facing the way they were walking, it crashed against a solid chest. Lu Han needed a second to realise what just happened and when he did, he slowly looked up with fearful eyes. Cold eyes were staring at him in return that caused Lu Han to instantly jump away. He suppressed a remark that Kris was so tall, way taller than Lu Han had expected. He was unsure of what to do next so he sneaked a glance at Baekhyun who told him with his eyes that Lu Han should do it.

 

 

 

"Good luck! See you later!" He faked a smile and ran off before Lu Han could tell him not to go.

 

 

 

Silence entered. Kris obviously wanted to go because he had nothing to tell the other. Unlike Lu Han who was dying to say something but was too shy and nervous to do so. Kris had noticed that so he decided to stay a bit longer. He didn't know Lu Han apart from randomly threatening him to not go to Chanyeol anymore. So even after three minutes Lu Han was still having a self-conversation. Should Kris just leave? He had better things to do than wait for someone who wasn't ready to open his mouth. He turned around and walked away just in time because Lu Han was now confident enough:

 

 

 

 

"I like you! Please go out with me!"

 

 

 

 

He had said it.

 

 

 

 

A sudden need to take it back overcame Lu Han and he bit his lip as he struggled with it, wanting to act on it so badly, but scared of the result. What if Kris would get angry that this was just a bad joke? Or that he was just trying to get the picture? Kris wasn't stupid he could count one and one together. The only connection they had was the picture but he didn't know that it belonged to Lu Han though. The chances of him finding out his real intentions were fifty to fifty. He either knew it or he didn't.

 

 

 

It didn't look like Lu Han would get an answer any time soon as Kris was just staring. That was why he had to save himself from further embarrassment, not getting an answer was worse than getting a rejection.

 

 

 

 

 

"Y-You know what?! Just forget it-"

 

 

 

"Give me your phone."

 

 

 

It was those four words that caused Lu Han's heart to stop beating.

 

 

 

 

Kris wanted his phone to put his number in. This finally was the answer is needed. Little did he know that he hadn't made it yet. There was more to it and Lu Han had realised that by the way Kris was looking at him. He wasn't happy or anything, very unconcerned and slightly bothered. So he even had this face when someone was asking him to go out? What a surprise. Although Lu Han had no feelings for him, he was getting exciting that he had succeeded. He couldn't wait to rub it under Baekhyun's nose.

 

 

 

He returned the phone to Lu Han but not without saying something, "There will be a party this weekend. You'll be there. I will text you the details. If you go there and stay I will go out with you. It's not something for little children so don't be scared of drugs and alcohol. I hope you can at least withstand cigarettes." Kris didn't but it sounded like he doubted that Lu Han would make it. He wasn't smirking or anything, just simply informing him. It was like he knew that Lu Han couldn't stand all those three things and used them against him. But he couldn't know because Lu Han hadn't told anyone.

 

 

 

 

Without saying a word Kris turned his back on him and left him alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

-x-

 

 

 

 

 

Notwithstanding of his fears of those things Lu Han would still go there. He would eventually steal the pictures back and would be free to persuade Chanyeol again. Sehun would be happy and talk to Lu Han. He could already imagine that Sehun would call him sunshine and maybe maybe ask him out. He never confirmed his relationship with Krystal so there was still hope for Lu Han. Smiling by himself he made his way towards the library. He obviously wouldn't tell Sehun about Kris but that didn't mean that he couldn't visit him.

 

 

 

 

Sometimes he just wanted to see Sehun even if he would get cursed at.

 

 

 

 

He opened the door- momentarily hoping that Krystal wouldn't be there- and stepped in when he didn't see her anywhere close to Sehun. She wasn't there. That was good, very good. Now Lu Han had Sehun for himself. He wanted to talk to him and fix whatever had to be fixed. He couldn't stand the awkward atmosphere between them. It had always been awkward but now it was just unbearable to not talk to each other anymore. He was sure that Sehun would feel the same.

 

 

 

"Hey Sehun!" Lu Han raised his hand with a smile and skipped closer. He was still feeling happy from not being rejected by Kris for now. He would therefore be back in Sehun's list of people here liked. He was never there in the first place he soon would. Instead of being ignored like he was used to, Sehun actually paid attention to him and raised his head. He stared at Lu Han and made a hand gesture that told the other to take a seat. That was the first time he had done such thing. He was being nice.

 

 

 

 

Considerably confused by this behaviour, Lu Han sat down across of the table.

 

 

 

"I apologise for yesterday. I shouldn't have treated you like that." Sehun once again surprised Lu Han with his unforeseen apology. He blinked, asking himself what caused Sehun to have this change of mind. It was Kai's words that have made such an impact on the younger. Sehun ignored the ill feeling for the first few hours but then he continued to feel worse and worse so that he had no choice but say it. It was not only because of the guilt, he felt bad as a person as well. It was true that it was mostly Lu Han fault but he couldn't keep blaming him.

 

 

 

"It's okay. I guess...I'm not angry at you." Lu Han answered and picked up Sehun's pen to play around with it. He smiled around the pen he had been absently tapping against the corner of his mouth and was glad that they were now on the same page. Unfortunately he couldn't tell him about Kris since Baekhyun had said that. Sehun said nothing to this, just watched Lu Han who was drawing something on his own hand. This was actually not everything; Sehun had more to say to that. He was just uncomfortable with that and didn't know how to phrase it well.

 

 

 

 

So he stretched his arm out.

 

 

 

 

Lu Han stared at Sehun's palm before giving it a weak slap.

 

 

 

 

Sehun rolled his eyes and urged him to get his phone out. Believe it or not but he said that he wanted to meet up with Lu Han. Incapable of speaking, Lu Han merely nodded his pulse racing and his arms trembling as he got his phone up and unlocked it. Did he really hear correctly? Sehun, the Sehun wanted to meet up with him? It had to be a trap. Since Lu Han was so excited he couldn't even properly type and so Sehun snatched his phone and swiftly typed his number in. Whatever triggered Sehun to be a lot nicer had definitely Lu Han's thankfulness.

 

 

 

"Is this weekend okay?" Sehun asked and returned the phone to its owner.

 

 

 

 

Weekend?

 

 

 

Kris wanted to meet with him.

 

 

 

 

"N-No I can't! I'll be out with K-" He slapped both of his hands on his mouth and swallowed the words back in. The secret was almost out; Lu Han had to be more careful. And by acting like that he was even more suspicious. He wanted this to go smoothly and spend as little time as possible with Kris and focus more on the picture. But why did Sehun have to be nice now? It was such bad timing; if he would reject him then Sehun would never ask him again. And Sehun was gazing at him, waiting for him to finish the sentence he mindlessly blurted out.

 

 

 

 

He leaned forwards and rested his cheek on his hand, "K? Who's that?"

 

 

 

 

"K...is...Kyungsoo! Kyungsoo from my class!" Lu Han almost yelled because he was so desperate and said the person he better wouldn't have said. Kyungsoo was the scary one and had never talked to anyone in class. And now Lu Han made up something Sehun would definitely check on. Ignoring the heat threatening to creep across his face at the excuse he had jumped to, he inhaled and nervously smiled at Sehun. He hoped that he bought it and wouldn't ask questions. It was not that Sehun knew every single person from his class. He wouldn't be able to tell if he was lying or not as Kyungsoo did exist.

 

 

 

Sehun sighed and leaned back on his seat.

 

 

 

 

"Well I won't be able to meet up with you anymore. I will move away this weekend."

 

 

 

 

 

The pen dropped from Lu Han's fingers.

 

 

 

____________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm sorry if my last author note was confusing OTL

 

Luhan likes Sehun and is aware of that.

 

Sehun cannot differentiate his feelings between love and friendship. He thinks that he likes him as a good friend and can't tell if his feelings for Luhan are strong enough for love.

 

He doesn’t want to force love upon himself

 

But Hunhan will obviously end up dating.

 

bomi xoxo