Tao's P.O.V

Was it really necessary Tao? Was it necessary to stand up for him and go against Shindong? Was it necessary to hold his hand throughout the period when you are not allowed to? 

I mentally groaned at myself for allowing my emotions to take over. Despite knowing that I was gripping onto his hand tightly, I didn't bother about it because I knew I want it. I really should stay away from Kris, he is changing me. How can he suddenly come into my life oh wait, I entered his life. Anyways, how can he just make me want to talk to him, to hold his hands and most importantly even willing to spend time with him.

Those were things I wouldn't do it with anyone else other than Baekhyun. Those were the things that'd make me attached.

Everything is temporary Tao, don't get attached to anything or anyone. Those were the exact words of my father and I stay abide by them because everyone knows it's true, we are going to eventually die, no one is going to live forever. Neither I nor Kris.

When it takes you too long to answer a question, they say it's either a rejection or a realization. I always wondered what exactly does it mean but I'm not as smart as I look especially in the department of life. However, they also said that you often understand certain things when it happens to you. I get it!

It wasn't a rejection for my case, it was a realization. When Kris voiced out his question, I wasn't hesitant because I wanted to reject him, it was because I finally realized if Kris didn't inform me, I wouldn't have ever thought about it. About the fact that Kris didn't need my permission because I was already slowly letting him in, I was already behaving like a friend with him and it was already more than what I did with anyone else.

I shouldn't! I should refuse him because this is getting out of hands, I wasn't here to make friend or improve my social skills. I was here with Baekhyun for a mission that shouldn't be ruined by the mistake I'm making.

Interruptions in these situations are often considered as lucky like how fortunate I thought I was when a certain boy named Yixing interrupted us but hell man, his grip is suffocating me, how can a skinny guy be so strong. But wait, what is he doing embracing me in the middle of the corridor? Who is he?

What in the world of Jupiter is Tetzuri? Is that some sort of a Japanese name? I didn't really recognize him but I think I'm supposed to because he knows Kevin. How in the world does he know kevin when he is dead? How does he know the person I lose, the person who is the cause of my nightmares?

After the intense moment, I came to the conclusion that I'm going to stay away from Kris and avoid him at any cost which was easier said than done but I managed until lunch break.

It was funny how Yixing and I were staring at each other as if we could see right through our souls creating a tense atmosphere but of course, Luhan had to interrupt because apparently he received a B+ which was not difficult to attain to begin with. I never had an aversion towards Luhan but I'm just not in favor of his opinion which he made on friendship a few days ago. He believed that when someone wished to be your friend, it's because they foresee a spark; like a connection with you and of course I had to be the completely opposing one for reason that our thoughts were on different tracks, I believe they want to be your friend only when they desire something from you, or they need to use you for something. Despite our heated debate, I didn't really judged him because everyone has their own opinion and you have to learn to respect them.

Hate is such a big word and I can never hate Luhan. However, his actions lately has been causing me to dislike him. I shouldn't let negativity get through me. Luhan is a considerate guy because it weren't for him, I wouldn't have gotton to know all these people who are sitting with me, I wouldn't have been able to talk to Kris, to hold his hand. Yes, Luhan is nice but does he really have to sit on kris's lap? I mean I'm close to Baekhyun too but we don't sit on each other's lap in public.

I mentally thanked lay for pulling Luhan off though I'd never admit it. Wait, if I decided to stay away from Kris, I shouldn't care who sits on his lap. I heaved a sigh. It's really hard to avoid Kris especially when he is the only one I talked to mostly comparing to others except Baekhyun.

I was really surprised when Xiumin and Chan joined us following by kyungsoo. It looked like 12 friends were sitting together having life time of fun but it's not true, there some who doesn't even know the story behind of others. 

Kai's mouth was left wide when he glimpse Kyungsoo and I can't help but chuckle at his childish act. "Close your mouth, a bee might enter." I wishpered in his ear causing him to blush because of the fact that he was caught red-handed watching kyungsoo but I don't blame him. Kyungsoo seemed like a motherly type and someone easy to get along with.

Lee yoelsung, not that I can remember someone with this name but it seemed strangely familiar when Kyungsoo mentioned it. But wait, was this Lee the one we are looking for? Was the Lee dead? Does it mean our journey was meaningless? Suddenly, I remembered something significant. 

Do we have to leave? Now that we know Lee is dead, do we have to return back to China?

A few days ago, if I was told that I'd leave soon, I wouldn't have been any happier but right now, I don't know what's wrong. I should be content with the fact that I'm going to return home soon, wasn't that what I wanted? But why do I dread the idea of leaving now?

When I glimpse Kris staring at his phone mouthing some words as if he is reading a message, I can't help but be curious. Who could it be? I don't comprehend how or why but when it comes to Kris, I just want to know everything. I know I shouldn't care but it's hard. I quickly looked away when I noticed him looking up.

Carrot is really good for eyesight; a fact my mother told me when I was young but I never really cared until she passed away. After her death, every time someone offered me a carrot, It would instantly remind me of her and I never refused because it seemed like a blessing from my mother. It's like a constant reminder that she is watching over me. Chan is nice, he seems compassionate when he offered me Carrots and it reminded me of my mother. There was a shine, like a spark in his eyes when I accept his generosity.

I didn't really wanted to go over to Kris' house especially when I was avoiding him but I had to. I had to ask Wu chun how he knew I liked cake which I didn't really care much about at that time. But coming to think of it now, it would made more sense if Luhan or the others knew because I could say Baekhyun told them but who would tell Wu chun?

To say I was shocked would be a underestimation when I was confronted by Kris about avoiding him. I never thought he'd actually notice but even if he did, what should I answer him. I can't possibly tell him that I'm avoiding him because he is changing me, that he is making alive when I'm supposed to be robot with no emotions.

When he pinned me against the wall, I felt captivated but at the same time, I didn't wish he would move. It was like a tsunami going on inside my heart, it was pounding with excitement and fear both. "Are you not going to tell me the reason?" He whispered in my ear causing my breath to hitch, I could feel his breath on my ear and I knew it is getting off limits, it's high time I should put some control on my emotions and push him away.

"I don't...know…what you…are talking about." I denied despite knowing what he was talking about. I shiftdd my gaze to the floor knowing that I wouldn't be able to lie if I look him in the eyes.

"Tao. Look at me." He whispered, his hands caressing my cheek while the other sneaked around my waist pulling me closer to him. Push him away, Tao do it! My mind screamed at me but my heart didn't have an ear.

He placed his forehead against mine and I took a deep breath. why are you doing this Kris? It hurts so much, to be able to hold you but not call you mine. I wish I had disregarded you like I did to everyone. I wish you wouldn't have made an effort chatting with me.

"Yi...Yifan." I don't know when that slipped out of my mouth but it did.

"Do it." He challenged without moving a step making me confused.  "Avoiding me."  Please don't say that.

"But after this." He said removing his arm and pressing me against the wall again. Yet again, he pressed his forehead against mine, our noses touching and his hands cupping my face, forcing me to keep our eye contact. He whispered against my lips. "At least this time I will know the reason behind your avoidance."

He pressed his lips against mine and i was too stunned, I stood there immobile with my eyes wide but than I became conscious of what was happening. Please Kris, why are you doing this to me?

I started struggling,  punching him on chest but he grabbed my hands with his , intertwining then both and pressing them against the wall beside my head. I felt helpless, as if he is the one who has been training in Wushu for years but not me.

All of a sudden, I recalled something important. What if it really is my last day? If so, this would be my last moment together with Kris. I wouldn't be here tomorrow nor the day after.

Don't let the chance go, I thought to what Baekhyun usually say and shut my eyes enjoying our last moment. Goodbyes are painful, I was aware of that but knowing that I wouldn't be able to feel his lips again disturbed me, it made my goodbye more painful yet unforgettable. I felt myself slowly responding, our lips moving in sync, he removed his grip and immediately I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulling him closer while he wrapped his around my waist. Our body fitted perfectly and I dread the moment when we would have to seprate. Coming to think of it, It's funny how they say the one left behind is often the one who is hurt because I'm the one who is leaving Kris behind but I feel like I have gone through a thousand heattbreaks, like my emotions have gone numb and especially like a heavy stone is replaced as a replacement of my heart. If I'm the one leaving, shouldn't I have been at least less depressed than him?

He deepended the kiss while I curled th