Title : (8/10)

First of all,the title fits the story and the overall plot which is good and I give you 8 points for that. But in my view,for appeal,over 2 marks I give you 0 marks. As I said,in my view if I was scrolling down for stories and I happen to see this,I would basically skip it. But still,good mark!

Description&Foreword : (9/10)

It was nice,but maybe you can place the part of the story in the foreword instead of the description and the "Different People..." can be put in the description since it's more of a descriptive thingy,well it's just in my opinion,it might be different with other reviewers but nonetheless,it was still good,so 9 points!

Grammar&Language : (18/20)

I don't really saw errors though,it was just some points that needs to be improved and that isn't quite necessary to point out. Your use of fanciful words was quite okay,but I suggest you to add more so that your story doesn't seem so dull,there many black spaces between short sentences and it makes the story look blank. Although there are long paragraphs as well,the short sentence was mainly in dialogues which I suggest you elaborate more on the way they say it. Like expression and tone.

Oh and I spotted one out after re-reading the whole thing again. "I had been with Sunghyuk for a week now,since he always needed for my 'assistance'." So I added the word 'needed' and it's kinda annoying,but in my opinion when you're clearly pointing out something which is not in a dialogue instead of a " which is for dialogues,you could use a single ' . As I said,since " is for dialogues. Haha.

I'm not that good either so I guess I can't spot out any other mistakes,sorry. But still,well done!

Character : (13/20)

Okay so 10 points for Sehun and 3 points for the girl. The reason why I give Sehun 10 points was because you explained his character nicely and it was simple and not that...uh...messy. But for the girl...what's her name? If she's one of the main characters,she ought to have a name even if she is suppose to be a mysterious girl that appears out of no where,she needs a name or so...and maybe more elaboration on her character traits. Honestly if I were to be Sehun,I would've think she's a little eccentric or so. I think it feels weird but that's all she's lacking though,a name and incomplete character elaboration which is really bad for stories like this.

Flow of story : (10/10)

I find that everything was paced excellently so it was okay. Nothing was too fast and nothing was too slow,and I understand everything except for a part which I will explain in the next section,but it has nothing to do with the pace,so since it's a perfect score,I have nothing else to say. Nice work!

Originality&Storyline : (4/10)

Okay the reason for the 4 points was that...why does Sehun have to grant three wishes of a mysterious girl that suddenly appeared when he was attempting to have suicide? I mean,he can choose not to right? If I were him,I'd probably not grant these wishes because...why must I? Furthermore if she threatens Sehun to call the cops about him being a suicidal child,he can always deny it and act innocent if the cops really come,I mean...there isn't any evidence like no one even saw him attempting to jump besides the girl,well you didn't state it so yeah.

In case of any misunderstandings,I didn't say that the 3 wishes thingy was wrong,but the way you connect them was wrong. You need a more stronger and realistic way to connect the suicide with those 3 wishes. Just imagine,if you were about to suicide but couldn't and one mysterious girl suddenly appears,talking about how ungrateful you were and asks you to grant her 3 wishes.

Also...I don't really get why they wanted to die. Firstly you only told me about the ways of high school,that's all. So you mean Sehun wants to commit suicide just cause he's passing through high school? School is always like that,and it's a part of life,why is he commiting suicide because of an agonizing part of life called School? It surely doesn't make sense,plus in your foreword you said that both of them were lonely,it's ironic cause you also said that Sehun was popular.

Okay maybe if he was popular but lack of real friends,that's fine,but you never stated it anywhere in your story,plus the girl,I don't know why she wants to commit suicide either,okay the scars and bruises may tell the reader that she got abused or something,but that's not the only thing right! You said they were lonely? How so? And even though she wants to commit suicide of the unstated abusing,you must put it there so it wouldn't confuse the readers!

Last part,what is the third wish? Sorry I don't get hidden meanings well,so I asked my friend too(which is quite a good writer) and she also said she doesn't get what was the last wish,but I think it's along the lines of "Stop me from commiting suicide" a.k.a "Save me" or something like that...right? I must say,if you are trying to convey that wish,it's unique because not all people say "Save me" however,you confuse the readers because the message was however not clear. For the first 2 times I read it,I had totally no idea what that wish was,maybe it was because i'm a little unaware,yes. So you need to make it clear in some way or another.

When it ended with "Thank you for granting me my third wish." I was literally "WHAT?! \(-_-)/" Maybe you could write "Thank you for granting me my third wish...you saved me." something like that so it is clearer! The reader will be like "Oh...so that's probably her last wish." instead of "What's the third wish?" I read that quite a number of these questions popped out in the comments of your story.

So therefore,I'm giving you 4 points for these errors. And I hope you can make your plot and points clearer in your future stories.

Overall : (62/80)

My overall enjoyment wasn't that high,nor it wasn't that low either,average. Probably it was because of the reasons in the originality&storyline section,it really had me confuse and all and I hope you'd take note more on these things so you can improve more better in the future. Please remember to credit the shop in your foreword so that I can cancel your name off the list,thanks again for requesting at KMS & HMH Review Shop,have a nice day~