Title : (9/10)

The title is quite good itself,it kind of fits the story but maybe you could try 'Bitter Love' or maybe that would be too plain,but that fits more to the story,i'm not saying your title isn't good,it is! Or maybe a 9 and a half mark can do :D

Description&Foreword : (7/10)

I think the description was okay,but the foreword is meant to write a small segment of your story there,so that the readers will be lured into your story and click 'next'. So,now you know. Next time,maybe besides the credits and contest prompts,or author notes,you might wanna insert a tiny little part of your story,it doesn't have to be the ,maybe a prologue or something. That will be great.

Grammar&Language : (13/20)

Your language was okay,not much spelling mistakes or so,but the one mistake I would really want to point out to you(of your grammar) is how you inappropriately put the 'and' and maybe some comas. Sometimes,those 'ands' or 'comas' needs to be replaced with a fullstop instead or is not needed at all(or maybe you put it in the wrong place). Since it's a competition entry,i'm only gonna point a few mistakes.

In the 4th paragraph, "His icy breathing cut through the air as he pushed..." that sentence didn't really have the 'and' and 'coma' mistake,but this minor mistake caught my eye,and if the judge is a petty reader,then oh boy ._.

In the 6th paragraph, "When he walked in , the aroma of sweet cakes and treats filled the air." See the difference? I shifted the coma between 'sweet cakes' and 'and',to between 'in' and 'the'. Because there is an 'and' between the sweet cakes and treats already,the coma is not needed there,however,the coma is needed after 'When he walked in'

In the 10th paragraph, "When Kai got back,he started to decorate his apartment. He put up the small fake tree he had bought earlier,he also setted up some vanilla scented candles and made two cups of hot chocolate."

And again,I put a coma after 'When Kai got back," and after 'he started to decorate his apartment' you have to put a fullstop instead of a coma then. I replaced the fullstop with a coma after 'he put up the small fake tree he had bought earlier,' because it's somehow like a continued sentence,right? And so,since I put a coma there,I added the word also,and changed the tense for set,so it sounds more right.

I hope you would realize your inappropriate use of some coma(s) and fullstop,try to shift them and change like how I did :D

Character : (19/20)

The characters are quite okay and I could see that you're telling me that Kai is a very determined guy that would do anything so that he could confess his love. And you ask,what about the missing 1 point? It's not really necessary,but it would be so much better if you would elaborate Minji's personality a bit more. Like,she's down-to-earth or sweet and so. All I know is that she moved down the street and knew Kai at the age of 7,and then Kai falls in love with Minji during high school. Maybe a little bit of Minji's personality? Hehe.

Flow of story : (10/10)

Your flow of story is perfect. Not too fast,and not too slow,which makes it rare because most of the times,I see authors rushing the story(like me,sometimes) and sometimes bringing it too slow,which makes it boring. So let's say you've got everything balanced perfectly;decorating,confession and such. ^^

Originality&Storyline : (10/10)

Your originility is also perfect. Why? It's because I certainly didn't see that major plot twist in the end! Usually when authors start off the story like that,they would certainly make the latter accept the confession,and ta-ta,live happily ever after. When I was reading your story mid-way,I was confused on why you named the story 'Bitter Cold' but then when I read the end,I laughed and was like,'so this is why.' Your story is unique because it is more realistic than the stories which are sugarcoated with undeniable and perfect love. Good work!

Overall : (68/80)

Nice score there! Haha. Anyways,I hope you will take more note of the 'and','coma' and 'fullstop' error because it's one of the most important factor of a story,sometimes you put those in the wrong place,the readers might misunderstand. Overall,your story was quite good,you just have to polish it a little and it'll be perfect. I hope you win the contest! Tata~