Over the next few days Yejun continuously got more and more photo shoots which she was happy for but she also wasn’t able to see Donghae as much. But he wasn’t the person that was on her mind.

Today Donghae was leaving to Japan for 4 days so he wanted to go out with Yejun before he had to leave. His flight wasn’t until later on in the night so the couple decided to just go for a drive by the river.

Most of the drive as usual was silent and Yejun spoke little giving one word answers to Donghae. Donghae had become use to this and never had he complained about it. He just wanted to give Yejun her space which he tried. Something about tonight that was different  though was that Yejun’s phone continuously went off saying that she had a message to which Yejun would answer with a smile.

Yejun’s phone began to ring and Donghae looked at the caller on the screen labeled as ‘oppa’.

“Oppa!” Yejun said happily on the phone.

Donghae couldn’t hear well but he heard a deep muffled voice on the other side of the line.

“No I am not.” Yejun said.

“Okay! See you tomorrow oppa! Good night” she said with a smile on her face.

Has Yejun just made date in front of Donghae? What made Donghae jealous was that she never even called him oppa. She just called him Donghae.

“Who was that?” Donghae asks cautiously.

“A friend” Yejun responds.

“You’re seeing them tomorrow?” Donghae asks Yejun.

“You’re ease dropping on my conversations?” she retorts.

“I’m just curious as to what you’re doing. Aren’t you curious as to what I’m doing tomorrow?”

“I already know what you’re doing. You’re going on a plane, then to a hotel then you’re gonna post a photo on Instagram then go to bed. The next day you’ll have a performance and have all these girls go crazy for you.” She said sounding somewhat jealous.

Donghae didn’t say anything. As right as Yejun was he was also hurt. Hurt knowing that his girlfriend doesn’t care about his work, hurt that she is going behind his back to meet another man, hurt that he might actually lose her.

The ride back to the apartment was quiet. When they reached there Donghae looked over at her and he smiled. She let out a half-hearted smile and was about to get out the car when Donghae pulled her wrist.

“Wait” he said.

Yejun looked at Donghae confused not knowing what he wants.

“I love you” were the three words which came out of his mouth.

Yejun doesn’t answer simply because she doesn’t know how to. She doesn’t love him back and certainly won’t anytime soon. She is aware that her and Donghae were once a couple but now what are they? Yejun had liked Donghae at one point but now she isn’t so sure about her feelings. She can’t blame him being famous or the fans or anything. Why? Because the person she is developing feelings for is famous as well.

“Donghae, I-“ Yejun began to say.

“I know Yejun. You don’t have to say it back but I just wish I could say it more often. I’m going to miss you when I’m in Japan and I want you to know that you’ll be all that I think about.”

Yejun stares at Donghae not knowing what to say or how to react. Of course this touched her in a way. In a way that it made her feel special. But at the same time she was afraid she couldn’t return the same feelings to Donghae.

“Donghae” Yejun began. Donghae looked up at her “aren’t you tired of this?”

“Of what?” Donghae asks letting go of her wrist.

Yejun sits back down in the car and closes the door. “Of me. Of trying to make me fall for you again. Of my one worded responses. Of me ignoring you and pushing you away. Doesn’t it hurt?”

Donghae stares blankly at his lap.

Yejun takes in a deep breath “I can’t return your feelings. I don’t think I ever could.”

Donghae looks up at Yejun. Everything is happening again. This always happens when Yejun wants them to break up. “I can’t let you go.” He answers simply.

“What if it was for the better?”

“It can’t be for the better. Yejun, you are the best. I’ve already told you that I don’t care if you don’t remember us and I know it’s been a long time since you woke and you still don’t remember. You might never remember us. But if I let you go it would be the biggest mistake in my life. I can’t live with-out you. I don’t care if I sound pathetic right now because love makes you weak. But it makes you fight for the one you love. I’ll fight for you Yejun.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe that accident happened for a reason? Maybe there is a reason why I can’t remember you? Maybe its fate trying its best to separate us.”

Yejun could see Donghae’s eyes get teary. She could tell he wanted to cry. But Yejun did too she just didn’t show it. It hurt her to hurt Donghae but she was doing what she thought was best.

“Maybe it came to test our love” Donghae says.

Yejun has no more to say and was about to leave. She put her hand on top of Donghae’s which was gripping the gear shift and said “Have a safe trip to Japan Donghae. Please take care of yourself. Rest and do your performance well. I’ll be cheering for you. Don’t cry because I don’t like to see you cry. Have a good night Donghae.” And with that said Yejun got out the car and walked to the back entrance of her apartment.

Donghae was left in his car with mixed emotions. He hit the steering wheel with his fist not knowing how to feel. He doesn’t know if what Yejun just said was true or if she was just giving him false hope. His heart hurt after everything she said. He wanted to crawl into a hole and just cry.

Yejun went straight to her room and cried. She had feelings for Donghae. But he deserved better. His feelings were too deep and it scared her. It scared her to fall in love with him. She doesn’t want to give him hope or cheer him in his career because it will hurt even more once Donghae finds someone else. She’s cold to him because she’s afraid. She isn’t a cold person although she might come off as one. She is just afraid of everything.

Once Yejun finished crying she decided to get ready for bed. She knew Lindy was home but she was probably asleep. Yejun crawls into bed and checks her phone. The first thing which pops up on the internet are fancams and photos of Super Junior in the airport. This upset her because she didn’t like knowing that all these fans got to see Donghae before she did. She saw the smile on his face. The smile he had given to all the fans, how genuinely happy he was towards his fans.

Yejun sighed at herself and her thoughts not knowing how to feel anymore and decided to fall asleep.

“Whats wrong Hae?” Eunhyuk asks Donghae. They were in a hotel in Japan and Donghae and Eunhyuk were sharing a room. Eunhyuk noticed that Donghae has been really quiet this whole time. Although he says he’s just tired Eunhyuk doesn’t believe it.

“If she’s afraid to love me, could she love someone else?” Donghae asked. He was lying on his back on the bed staring at the ceiling with both arms at his side.

Eunhyuk took in a deep breath not knowing how to respond.

Donghae continues, “I mean if I really was in her heart before shouldn’t I still be there now? Even if she can’t remember why won’t her heart?”

“Maybe she’s letting her brain over power her heart Donghae. She’s more fragile now.” Eunhyuk says. He takes a seat on the bed beside Donghae and a small silence took over.

“She was talking to a man on the phone earlier. She called him oppa, she never even called me oppa” Donghae says tears forming in his eyes.

“You really love her Hae. Don’t let her go.”

“She made plans to see him tomorrow.”

“Did you ask about him?”

“She asked why I was listening to her conversations.”

“Do you think she’s cheating?”

“Does she even know we’re dating still?”

Eunhyuk didn’t know what to say. It hurt him that his best friend was hurting because of a girl. He didn’t know what to do either but he wanted to help.

The next day came and Yejun was going out for dinner with Seunghyun. She was getting ready when Lindy knocked on her door.

“Where are you going again?” Lindy asked Yejun.

“Out for dinner” Yejun responded.

“With who?”

“Seunghyun oppa”

Lindy didn’t say anything but she needed to know. “Yejun, you have a boyfriend. Why are you going out with another man?”

“We’re just friends. Just because I’m dating Lee Donghae doesn’t mean I can’t have a social life.” Yejun put on her shoes then began to put things insider her purse.

“Yejun if someone sees you two and a photo gets released-“

“I know Lindy. But have you ever thought that maybe I don’t like Donghae? I just want my old life back. When I wasn’t in the spotlight but just a model who could go out without constantly being looked at or talked about. Please just let me have this night. I’m not doing anything wrong.” Yejun said upset. She just wanted to get away from reality and Seunghyun had helped her with that which is why she’s been so nice with him.

Yejun was mad at Lindy and Lindy was upset with Yejun. Lindy knew what Yejun was doing wasn’t okay and that she should be careful but she figured that Yejun is a big girl and should know all that already. Lindy dropped her off at a restaurant and watched Yejun go inside.

Yejun was led inside to a private room in the back which she is used to since she’s gone to a couple of private rooms like this with Donghae. Seunghyun was already sitting there and had already ordered food for them.

“Hi oppa!” Yejun says happily once she enters.

“Hey Yejun, how are you?” the man sitting down says with his deep voice. He is dressed simply with a pair of jeans and a green polo.

“I’m good and you?” Yejun asks.

After the small talk ended the two began to joke around and tell stories about their lives. Yejun continues to be fascinated by Seunghyun and she continuously falls for him. By the end of the night her cheekbones hurt her from laughing so much. She hasn’t laughed this much in a long time and not that she can remember with Donghae.

Yejun suddenly feels her phone vibrate. She looks at it and it’s a message from Donghae.

From: Donghae

To: Yejun

Hi beautiful ^^ what are you up to?

Yejun looks at the message and feels a pang of guilt hit her but then her thoughts were interrupted by Seunghyuns voice.

“You can respond” he says with a smile.

“Oh, no its not important. Its just my manager messaging me my schedule” Yejun lied. She felt bad for lying to Seunghyun but she felt too guilty to respond to Donghae so she ignores the message.

The rest of the night went smoothly and Yejun really enjoyed herself. They hadn’t realized that they had spent about 5 hours together until Yejun got a message from Lindy saying she would be there in 10 minutes to pick her up.

“Oppa, thank you for tonight. I had a really good time so hopefully we can do this again” Yejun said with a smile on her face.  She really did enjoy it and she’s sad that it has to come to an end now. She looked at Seunghyun and noticed how dark his eyes are but how warm and playful he’s been towards her. Yejun gets up and bows her head. “Bye oppa, take care” she says then leaves to outside.

She sees Lindy’s car parked in front of the restaurant and walks towards it. She is still angry at Lindy for earlier but hopefully Lindy doesn’t talk to her. Yejun gets in the car but noticed Lindy didn’t even look at her. Well I guess she’s still mad. They drive off when Lindy suddenly says:

“Donghae called”

“That’s a surprise” Yejun said sarcastically.

“Yejun,” Lindy began planning to have a talk to her about relationships, “you can’t be like this. He said you didn’t answer his message. Did you two fight? Is that why you’re doing this?”

“No” Yejun simply said.

“Stop playing with him Yejun. End this if you have no feelings for him. You can’t be going behind his back to see another man. You’re grown up now you should know this.”

Yejun was upset with what Lindy had said. She had no right to say anything because she was the one who pushed the whole dating thing on her.

Yejun lets out a small laugh and says “you’re more into this relationship then I am Lindy.” This is the first time she’s ever called Lindy by her name and not unnie, “maybe you’re the one who has feelings for Donghae and just don’t want to see him get hurt.”

“Yejun, I don’t. I’m trying to help you.” Lindy says back.

“Well you aren’t okay?!” Yejun yells. She feels tears come out of her eyes and continues “I don’t like him, when will you get that? When will he get that? Whenever I try to end it he won’t let go. It isn’t my fault! I can’t remember him and I’m trying my best to distancing myself from him and maybe this is the best way. Maybe it’s for the better that I go out and meet other men. A man who can make me smile and make me happy, someone who I can picture myself with! So stop getting mad at me for trying to find my place in this society. Just let me be, please.”

Lindy didn’t respond and just took in a deep breath. The rest of the ride was silent and all that could be heard was Yejun’s soft sobs. They arrive to the underground parking of their apartment and Yejun gets out first. She slams the door shut and stomps towards the entrance. Once Lindy catches up they take the elevator and go up together in silence. Once they reach their place Yejun goes directly to her room and locks herself in there.

She cries into her pillow. A night that she enjoyed turned into a rollercoaster of emotions. She didn’t know if she was crying because of what Lindy said, the guilt she felt or simply because she missed Donghae. Maybe it was a mix of all three but either way she wanted Donghae. She won’t deny that Donghae gave her comfort which no one else could, not Seunghyun, not Lindy, not Minho. Just Donghae. She had tried for so long and so hard to not fall for him, to not react to him, to not give him hope, to just ignore him hoping he would go away. But he wouldn’t and that scared her. Why is he holding on so tight? Why did he choose to love her? Why won’t he just let her be?

Hey mamacita naega ayayayaya ~~

The kings are back ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Hello everyone!!!! I'm sorry this chapter is kind of late TTTT My bro stole my laptop >.> I got back tho *fistpump*

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