He sits up on the side of the bed, head spinning. He feels warm, safe, dry, comfortable.

He feels like death. 

What happened? He scratches the back of his head and blinks rapidly, trying to string together memories that will explain what happened and where he is.

Sungjong doesn’t recognize this room. It had tan walls and brown sheets. There is only one window that lets soft moonlight shine through the panes of glass. What time is it? He turns to look at the clock on the bedside table and squints his eyes at the red numbers.

Red numbers. Red numbers make him remember…something. He remembers talking to Myungsoo by the sea. Blue water, gold air, red blood. That’s it. Then there’s nothing.

Myungsoo hyung! He looks around wildly, suddenly worried. Had something happened to him? Then he spots a picture on the dresser on the opposite wall. It’s a picture of Myungsoo, with two other guys and a girl. They’re smiling hugely into the camera, flashing peace signs and eyes sparkling.

He must be in his hyung’s house. He must have brought him here. Why, though?

Shrugging, he gets up from the bed. His throat feels like sandpaper and his limbs are still as stiff as they were earlier today. But overall, he feels okay. His head might be a little groggy but he can live with it.

Hearing muffled voices from another room, he pads out into the hallway, trying to discern where they are coming from. He looks down, realizing he’s in unfamiliar shirt, white and pressed to perfection. His gray pants are new too. What?

Myungsoo. Myungsoo did this. Myungsoo helped him, through something and he gave him all he could. A smile forms on Sungjong’s lips at that thought. How kind of him….Myungsoo has been nothing but nice to Sungjong since they first met. He’s funny and witty and talented and-

What are you getting at? Sungjong sighs to himself as he looks into another empty room. I’m getting at…maybe I like him. More than I should.

Is that the feeling that causes those butterflies in his stomach when he sees him? Is that the feeling that makes his heart race faster when he’s around him? Is that the feeling that makes everything seem happier and brighter when he’s with him?

Yes. It is. And yet…

Does he even have any love to give? Or was it all out from him when Sungyeol stole him away from himself?

No, he still has…something of a heart. A fractured heart. A broken one. A scarred one that can cringe away at the thought of being disturbed.

He stops in another doorway, a thought clouding his mind. Would Myungsoo ever feel the same way? If he did, would he take Sungjong, problems and all, and make them go away? Or would he shrug, confess it’s too much and leave him?

Maybe it’s best if Sungjong keeps these feelings to himself.

He wanders through a tasteful living room full of fancy furniture and state-of-the-art technology. Pictures in large, artistic frames hang from the off-white walls. Glass shelves hold various items and Sungjong feels like he’s seeing what kind of world Myungsoo lives in for the first time.

How different they really are. How they are from two different spherical universes that do not clash. 

He spots an open arch and through it, leading from the living room, is a kitchen. He sees stainless steel appliances, frosted-glass cabinets and dark brick walls. He walks forward, catching sight of his hyung from his point of view.

But as he grows closer, he realizes Myungsoo isn’t alone.

There’s a girl with him, a very pretty girl. Her shiny black hair is tied up in a bun but a few wisps have escaped and frame her delicate face. She’s wearing a red sweater and is laughing at something Myungsoo had just said.    

Sungjong starts forward, about to say something or announce his presence. But that’s when Myungsoo puts an arm around her, letting his own hand guide hers as she cuts up some vegetables. They look at each other and smile mildly, caught up in their own little world.

Sungjong feels like he can’t breathe. The wind has been knocked out of him and he struggles to pull in a breath.

Myungsoo gets closer to her, resting his head on her shoulder, his eyes focused. And something inside Sungjong snaps. Hard.

Heart breaking, he backs up, a hand to his head. It’s spinning, sending the room flying around him in bright but muted colors. He can’t stand it. He has to get out of here. Fast. It’s suffocating him like nothing else.

He bounds out of the door, grabbing his slightly-damp coat on the way out. He doesn’t even look back to see Myungsoo staring after him.

Sungjong huddles into himself, the cold metal of the bench hard beneath him. He couldn’t go back to his apartment, not with the threat of Sungyeol being there haunting him. He really can’t take anything tonight. He’s already felt too much pain for one day, anything more and he might crack under the strain.

Chest heaving, he lets hot tears come out slowly, raining from his eyes. Gulping back some tears doesn’t help because there are more there, waiting to fall. He tries to keep it quiet, not wanting anyone to see him and him having to explain. Because he doesn’t think he can speak.

Because he doesn’t even know what the problem is.

So he saw Myungsoo with a girl. Big deal. She could be his girlfriend. Sungjong in a breath that gets stuck in his throat. Why should he care? Why should he care if Myungsoo has a girlfriend? He’d never really shown any interest in him like that before, why would Sungjong even think of something like that?

Because I like him.

No. No, you don’t. You were just…surprised. Surprised. Shocked. That’s it. But you’re over it now. You’re fine.

If he’s fine, why is he still crying? He feels like he’s drowning in these emotions. He learned to swim these waters but now…now he feels like he’s forgotten how.

This is what he gets for letting someone get to him! This is his own fault. He let someone in and in the end, they hurt him. Just like everybody else does. He thought he would’ve learned by now. But apparently not.

His phone buzzes but he’s not in the mood to answer it. He doesn’t care who it is, he just wants to be alone now. Alone in the quiet, cold darkness with nothing but him and the swaying trees, haunted with memories long gone. Alone as the cool wind blows across his face, making an icy chill drip down his back.

Alone with the sadness eating him alive.

But then it buzzes again and he looks down, wanting to know who it is that needs to talk to him so urgently? He chokes back another sob that threatens to tear from his throat and opens his phone.

The little screen lights up, cutting a bright path through the black night and Myungsoo wonders-can darkness exist without light? But then the thought is gone as he sees who the text is from.

Sungyeol.

“Are you at the park?” it reads and he blanches, wondering how Sungyeol could know that. He’s not in the mood for this right now. He’s not in the mood to be knocked down even lower and to have his body taken over once again by someone that’s not himself and to be filled with stark fear that can cut away at his blood.

He feels a sudden wave of anger. It consumes him, drowning his insides.  Why is everything like this? He just wants to throw his phone away from him, let the screen crack and the metal break. Just like him. He just wants to feel whole again.

The only way by doing that is to be alone.

His anger quiets as suddenly as it came. No, he’s not mad. Not mad at them, anyway. He’s more mad at himself. For always being nice. For apologizing for things he didn’t do. For letting others push him around. For letting himself get attached. For thinking about them. And most of all-for not hating them when he should.

He can’t bring himself to that yet. Not yet.

A stick cracks behind him and he raises his head slowly, seeing Sungyeol standing there, phone in hand. They lock eyes as Sungjong’s breath catches.

Just like this morning though, Sungyeol looks normal. He takes a few steps forward. Sungyeol doesn’t do anything. Sungyeol walks forward a couple more until he’s right in front of the younger. Still, Sungjong does nothing. But when Sungyeol reaches out a hand, Sungjong flinches away, eyes widening as he remembers the incidents from previous nights.

Sungyeol actually looks…saddened. He looks sad because he actually is feeling sad, feeling ashamed. Looking down at the boy in front of him, fear in his wide eyes, Sungyeol feels a pang of guilt. I drove him to this. He looks so scared…Oh my gosh, what have I done to him?

A/N: So now it seems Sungjong is starting to realize he may feel something more for Myungsoo. And is Sungyeol feeling remorse? Leave a comment below on what you think is going to happen, what you like/dislike, or anything at all. Until next time darlings!