He passes the hospital onto one of his appointments. Pausing outside its doors, he’s tempted to blow off the schedule and go see Sungjong. But he knows it would just end badly for the both of them.

He’s about to turn away when the doors open and someone steps through them, sunshine glinting off light brown hair.

Myungsoo looks closer and he almost stops breathing.

It’s Sungjong.

He’s still a little far away but Myungsoo can tell he’s okay right now. He looks healthier, well-rested and almost glowing. There’s something in his eyes and face that wasn’t there before and Myungsoo has never seen him more beautiful.

Sungjong looks around, seeming unsure about what he’s supposed to now, but then he catches Myungsoo’s eye and freezes.

It seems time has stopped for them and they’re the only ones moving, the only ones in the line of sight. Nothing else matters, nothing else is, because it’s just them and that’s all they need.

Sungjong hesitantly takes a few steps forward until he seems to decide something and walks faster towards the elder.

Stopping in front of him, he pauses once more but then throws himself at Myungsoo, wrapping his arms around him.

Myungsoo is still, not sure what to do now. Is this real? Sungjong is okay, he’s fine and not dead and he’s hugging him right now.

“Sungjong?” he finally manages to get out, his arms coming up to hug the younger back. Hands run over him, making sure he’s real and actually there.

Sungjong stiffens a little but he nods, burying his face in Myungsoo’s chest. “Hyung.” They stay like this a little bit, Sungjong just needing something to anchor him back down to reality. He had woken up alone and although the doctors has explained what happened, he still feels lost.

“How are you feeling?” asks Myungsoo finally. The last time he had seen Sungjong, he was lying in bed unconscious and hooked up to a bunch of machines. No. Don’t think that. He won’t go back to those times. Those times when he thought he had lost Sungjong.

“Okay.” Sungjong pauses. “They-they told me...you came every day,” he says softly, not wanting to get emotional. But it makes him happy and he could never tell Myungsoo how much it means to him.

“Of course.” Myungsoo’s finally decided this is actually happening and his grip tightens as he breathes in Sungjong. “I had to make sure you were okay.”

“Thank you.” Sungjong starts to pull away, seeming to realize what he’s done, but Myungsoo won’t let him go. Not this time, not ever again.

“I was so scared,” he whispers into Sungjong’s hair. “I thought...I thought you were gone.”

“Maybe I’m better off gone,” mutters Sungjong quietly but the elder hears it and frowns, adjusting his hold on the other.

“No one’s better off gone. Especially you, Sungjong, because...because…”

This is what he wanted. This is what he’s been waiting for, this is the moment to tell Sungjong how he really feels.

Sungjong’s looking up at him with wide eyes, blinking innocently and the words almost get stuck in Myungsoo’s throat. But he forces them out because the younger has a right to know.

“Because I love you, Lee Sungjong.”

“You...what?”

“I love you Sungjong. I have for a long time and when I thought you were gone…” Myungsoo can’t finish. “I love you. I love the way you’re so kind, I love the way you’re so shy, I love the way you smile, I love the way you model for my photos-I love everything about you Jongie.”

“But…” Sungjong is speechless. How could anyone love him? “But I’m dirty hyung, I...you know what happened and you deserve much more and-”

“But I want you. I don’t care that you think you’re dirty, I think you’re the most beautiful thing in the world.”

“You...do?”

Myungsoo nods, the younger’s hair. “Ever since I met you, I thought you were beautiful. Now I know for sure, you are on the inside as well.”

“You...you mean it hyung? You-you love me?”

“I do.”

“But why?”

Myungsoo smiles gently. “You’re easy to fall in love with.” He presses a kiss to Sungjong’s forehead.

The younger doesn’t move, still too shocked and surprised. Who would love him? He’s used and dirty, disgusting. No one wants him. No one needs him and certainly no one loves him.

But Myungsoo is telling the truth. He never lies and Sungjong thinks he might just be in love with the elder too.

“I’m willing to wait, Jongie,” says Myungsoo when the other is silent. “I’ll wait however long you need me to. Until you get comfortable with me or whatever you need, I’ll wait.”

“I am comfortable with you,” mumbles Sungjong. “I just...you don’t know what you mean by saying that. You don’t know what you’re getting into.”

How many times had he been used? How many times did he just want to end it all? How many times had he just been so tired, so worthless and disgusting? He’s tainted and Myungsoo deserves someone better, deserves someone pure and innocent and beautiful, someone who will give him their first. Sungjong can’t give that to him.

“I do, Jongie. I want you, scars and all.”

Sungjong stares at him and hesitantly reaches one hand out, brushing a thumb over Myungsoo’s cheek, testing his limits. When Myungsoo does nothing but look at him with caring eyes, he moves the finger to the elder’s lips, hovering just above them.

“Can I…?”

Myungsoo nods and Sungjong gently traces the outline of Myungsoo’s lip, starting to wonder what they would feel like against his own.

He hadn’t realized he had been leaning in until Myungsoo uses one hand to cup his cheek tenderly.

“Don’t force yourself Sungjong. We have a long time for this-we don’t have to do it right now.”

“But I...want to.”

Myungsoo doesn’t need any more invitation than that and although he knows this is exactly what he should not do, he leans down and barely brushes his lips against Sungjong’s, pulling back immediately in case Sungjong responds badly.

But the younger is only standing there, a look of wonder on his face.

“Was that...was that okay?” Myungsoo asks nervously. Sungjong still hadn’t moved and is only blinking up at him, processing what happened.

He raises one finger to touch his lips. He had had a brief moment of panic when they first touched but surprisingly, he hadn’t jerked away. It felt...nice. Sweet. Healing.

“Hyung...how long did you say we have?” Sungjong asks shyly. Myungsoo smiles lovingly at him.

“We have the rest of our lives.”

END