Sungjong breathes in th ecrisp, clear air as he pedals faster. Riding his bike is a good way to straighten his thoughts. Not that they're too tangled of course.

What a lie.

He couldn't be more confused. and it's partly because of his ever-growing feelings for Myungsoo that are getting out of hand. He can't count how many times he has woken up in the middle of the night with swea-coated skin and fast breathing and a tingling sensation vibrating thoughout him. All from a dream he had about Myungsoo. Night after night, even when Sungyeol had been lying next to him as he fell asleep, he always dreamed about Myungsoo.

I love you but I don't know what to do.

But it's also from the ever-growing animosity between Myungsoo and Sungyeol. It makes him nervous, the way they glare at each other, ready to lash out at any moment. He doesn't know what's wrong with them but he's too afradi to ask the reason behind it. What if it's something that he's done?

Then again, it's always something that he has done.

The third reason that he didn't want to admit: his so-caleld panic attack. It actually had scared him, no matter what he told the other two. He had never felt so unstable, , so out of control, so...crazy. And it scared him.

He's felt like that only one other time. When Sungyeol came that one time and foudn the photo album he had been given by Myungsoo, when he was crouching by the wall of his apartment complex and trying not to think, he had felt the unsteady breathing and the knives sharp edges starting to cut into him. But there's no way he would tell them that. Like they need another reason to worry.

Sungjong sighs and brakes his bike, stopping at a light. He leans on one side and presses the metal beneath him. Even though it's mid-afternoon, everything is bathed in an amber glow, making the scenery look like it's painted with the colors of the sunset. 

The last thing weighing him down is Sungyeol's advances. He had been less demanding ever since Sungjong's panic attack but the younger could see the look in Sungyeol's eyes-he's losing patience with him and sooner or later, he will be taken again.

And it kills him. Every time, it kills him. But he doesn't know how to stop it. It's been going on too long to stop.

But that doesn't mean it hurts any less.

In fact, sometimes it just makes it hurt more. Especially when he accidentally pictures Myungsoo's face instead of Sungyeol's.

Snapping enough out of his thoughts to notice the light has changed colot, he uses one foot to push off the pavement andcontinue on his way. But the thoughts won't leave him alone.

And soon enough the golden world around him is replaced with a darkened ally made by two brick walls that are impossible to break through or run from. And it's black, with no moon or stars. And there's two shadows who have gleaming silver knives clutched in their hands, serene smiles plastered on their faces.

And their bodies painted with blood.

And slowly the knives catch the glare from the whites of their eyes and-

"No!" Sungjong feels his breathing stat to quicken. Not again. "No!" But he can feel the pain coming, causing him to hunch over even as he continues to pedal. He is tempted to remove his hands and use them to hold his body together even as he is slowly being ripped apart at the seams. "No!"

His breathing is getting heavy and he's gasping for air that refuses to come from his lungs. His chest heaves, struggling to provide all the oxygen he is trying to get from the air around him. But it won't come.

Air doesn't slip down his throat to his lungs, air is leaving him behind with cracking ribs and a fast-beating heart that can't keep up with him.

He sees the car coming when it's too late.

"No!"

A/N: Happy new year!

I know, I know, it's been forever. And it's short. And a cliffhanger. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, but I've just been super busy and hadn't had a chance to write and I got a new computer so I had to transfer a ton of my stuff to it and it's just been a really draining process. The format might change a little because of that. Maybe, I'll have to check. So I'm terribly sorry for the long wait. Hopefully next time won't be as bad, but we'll just have to see. Please don't give up on this story, I won't take this long again. :)

Until next time darlings.