“Sungjong!” Sungyeol rushes towards him only to be held back by two paramedics.

“Please Sungyeol-ssi, please calm down,” one pleads with him as they continue to hold him back from running to Sungjong. “He will be fine.”

“Sungjong!” Sungyeol shouts, not even bothering to look like he had heard the paramedic at all. “Sungjong!”

But the younger is silent, having been knocked unconscious. One of the paramedics lifts him from the metal wreckage that was his bike and swings him in his arms, placing him on a stretcher. His dark hair is matted with blood and his clothes are torn, showing sections of his pale skin, arms swinging lifelessly from the nurse’s arms.

“Sungjong!” Sungyeol continues to yell his name even though he knows he can’t hear. He just wants a sign that he’s okay, a twitch of a finger, a blink of an eyelid, anything! He can barely stand to see Sungjong like this. Correction- he can’t stand seeing him like this.

But Sungjong is still as can be. One nurse fits an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth as his chest slowly rises and falls.

Sungyeol feels sick. He is barely listening to the other’s explanations that Sungjong must have had another panic attack and ran into a parked car. All he can think about is how fragile Sungjong looks, on how injured he is and how somehow, this is all his fault.

If he had never pushed him so much, if he had never asked for the things he did, maybe Sungjong would never have had a panic attack. He would be back at home, safe.

But no. Sungyeol just had to be so demanding of him. He just had to force him into such things. He just had to break him.

Because he’s realizing that now. He broke Sungjong. He broke Sungjong.

He still struggles against the paramedics, screaming as if there’s no tomorrow with silent tears streaming down his face and his hair falling into his eyes. Their arms are strong, keeping him from moving any closer to Sungjong but he doesn’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.

“Sungyeol-ssi, you are going to have to calm down,” the paramedic tells him sternly.  “You are doing no good to him like this.”

Sungyeol stiffens, still struggling but with less vigor. He’s right. He’s doing nothing for Sungjong, behaving like this.

“Sungjong-goon is not in life-threatening danger right now,” one of them says gently, lessening her hold by a fraction. “He has a sprained wrist and a few internal injuries that can be fixed easily enough. He has no brain damage and although his lungs are weak, with the right treatment, he will be fine.”

“He’s lucky he passed out,” adds in the other, letting go of Sungyeol. “That way, he won’t feel the pain until much later.”

Lucky? Lucky? Sungyeol wants to yell. It’s not lucky! It’s not lucky that Sungjong had to deal with his panic attacks on top of this and his slight of phobia of being touched. What else can I do to mess up? It’s all my fault!

Sungyeol only nods, trying to push his feelings down. He can break down when he gets home. Home…Sungjong’s home.

Once the medics are assured he won’t go berserk on him again, they turn to explain the situation to the police officers that have arrived on scene.

“Let me know what room he’s in,” Sungyeol says wearily, grabbing one of the paramedics. They nod and get his phone number before he walks home numbly.

“I’ll need to get his pillow…and maybe some herbal tea, he can’t live without it…maybe his own pajamas too…” Sungyeol mutters to himself as he heads towards Sungjong’s apartment. He will do anything in his power to make him as comfortable as possible at the hospital. Sungjong…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…

“Is he alright?”

Sungyeol breaks out of his thoughts to look up and see Myungsoo leaning up against Sungjong’s door, arms crossed. When did he…?

“I heard what happened,” Myungsoo explains, his voice tense. “Sungjong was in an accident. Is he alright? What hospital is he going to? How serious are the injuries?”

“How did you know?” Sungyeol unlocks the door, not wanting to deal with this. He thought he would be able to break down in peace but now he has to deal with him.

“The paramedics contacted me, I was on his emergency-call list.” Myungsoo frowns, following the other inside the apartment without being invited. He gazes around, everything reminding him of Sungjong. His thoughts going back to his beloved. He never even got the chance to tell him…what if it turns out to be too late? What if Sungjong…died?

No! No, that will not happen. He will not allow it. “Is he okay? What happ-”

“Shut up!” Sungyeol finally snaps, whirling to glare at the other. “Just shut up!”

“Why? Don’t tell me…” Myungsoo’s eyes widen as he thinks of what this may mean. He’s not even too offended by the fact Sungyeol had just yelled at him.

“He alive,” confirms Sungyeol tightly and Myungsoo lets out a sigh of relief.

“That’s go-”

“Shut up! Go away!”

“What’s wrong with you?” Myungsoo looks at him, irritated. “I’m just worried!”

“Why? Sungjong barely knows you,” Sungyeol retorts, slamming his hands on the cool marble counter. “Why don’t you just leave us alone? Leave him alone?”

“You’ve got some nerve, saying that,” shoots back Myungsoo, clenching his fists in anger. How can he be like this? “After what you did to him! You should leave him alone!”

Sungyeol turns pale and tightens his hold on the countertop, afraid he’ll fall without its support. “He…told you?”

“Everything,” Myungsoo says coldly. He can’t believe what this man is saying. How would he not find out, the way Sungjong was acting?  “I refused to believe it. How could you do something like that to him?”

“Our relationship is none of your business,” snaps Sungyeol, forcing himself not to feel guilty. Not yet.

“It is because you hurt him! You hurt him very deeply and I’m only trying to help him recover!”

“By doing what? It’s your fault that this happened to him in the first place!”

Myungsoo gasps, his heart ripping in two at the other’s words. “What do you mean, it’s my fault? It is most certainly not my fault!”

“Yes it is,” Sungyeol nods desperately, grasping at something to blame. “Before you came, he had never had these panic attacks. And then you come and just…we were fine without you!” He feels tears starting to leak out of his eyes but he doesn’t care anymore. He’s beyond caring.

“Clearly, when he looks so afraid to be around anybody!” Myungsoo forces himself to hold his tears back but it’s not working very well. The water spills from his eyes and trails down his cheeks. He feels the need to hit something, hard.

“He could die and it would be all your fault!” Sungyeol shouts, knuckles turning white on his grip on the counter. “Sungjong could die and I just…I just…” He’s not really mad at the other…well he is but he’s also mad at himself for doing such unspeakable things to someone so pure and is now suffering because of it.

“You hurt him too much and now with this, who knows how he’ll end up?” yells Myungsoo angrily. “I love him!”

Sungyeol stares at him, openmouthed. “You…what?”

“I love him,” repeats Myungsoo, tears falling freely now. “I love him and to see him hurt like this is killing me! And it’s all your fault!”

“You think I don’t know that?” Sungyeol slams his hands on the countertop again and again, tears pouring down. “You think I don’t know what I did to him? You think it doesn’t kill me?” He’s never felt so terribly before and all his thoughts to not feel guilty yet are tossed out the window. You think it doesn’t kill me…it’s killing him.

“You know it but you did nothing to change it,” declares Myungsoo, wiping some tears away. This is not how he pictured telling Sungyeol how he loves Sungjong but it can’t be helped. “It’s not my business how you guys solve it-it’s between you and him. But I need to see him, I need to know if he’s alright! I need to tell him I love him!”

“Stay away from him!” Even through his denial, Sungyeol can tell the other really does love Sungjong. But is he ready to give up his friend to such a man?

Through his scattered thoughts, he grasps onto one-that Myungsoo really is the best for Sungjong.

“No! I won’t!” Myungsoo glares at him and storms out the door, tears flowing freely as he feels his heart burning with emotions. The photographer slams the door behind him, the sound echoing throughout the house. Sungyeol sinks to his knees and sobs the acid pouring out of his chest.

A/N: So...who's still with me?

Untlil next time darlings.