“Huarghhhh… Oh my, I’m so tired…” Kris sighed, lying on the green grass just beside the basketball court at Tao's apartment. He rested his head on his crossed arms, just over his shoulders while looking up to the orange sky. Tao was approaching, holding a ball in his arms and stood beside the severely, energy-depleted guy. They just have about 30 minutes of basketball, but Kris was acting like he had been playing for hours.

“Seriously?” Tao chuckles, joining him on the grass, sitting on it. He seemed like he had nothing to talk about. He sat silently beside him, politely crossing his legs inwards. He put the ball on his lap while propping his chin on his palm.

“Fuuuuhhhhh… I’m hungry. Do you have anything to eat at home?” Kris uttered, moving closer to Tao, suddenly.

“Mwo?" he was surprised. "Erh… I think so…” Tao said, while straightening his backbone.

“Let’s go to your house and eat. I’m so hungry,” Kris said, smiling. He got up on his legs and move towards the building.

“Oh, okay,” Tao obeyed. ‘Who the heck is this guy, it’s not like we’re close but he’s already asking for food and go into my house,’ he thought, while escorting Kris into the block.

Pretending that he didn’t know Tao’s apartment, Kris just followed Tao from behind. The 12^th floor, door #14, Kris still remember the house that used to be their home.

“Alright, come in,” Tao said. Kris was so surprised that everything in the house was still the same as 4 years ago when he left the house. Nothing changed. Acting like it’s his own house; before Kris went into the house, he put his shoes on his favourite shoe shelves spot. He pulled off his soaked-in-sweat shirt and lay on the couch. That was his favourite couch since he was the one who bought it.

Tao saw the way he was behaving; he found out that it was difficult to tell that he wasn’t Kris. His instinct kept telling him that he was Kris, but he believed the fact that Kris whom he knew had died about 4 years ago. Ignoring his act by letting him doing anything he wanted in his house, Tao stormed into the kitchen, picked out 2 cans of isotonic drinks and put it on the table in front of Kris. He then went into the kitchen and found a packet of pasta in the cabinet, so he decided to make them as it was quite easy to make. In about 20 minutes later, Tao had done all of the cooking.

“Wow, that was quick!” Kris said, because he wasn’t expecting that Tao could make the food so fast. He even thought of taking a nap on the couch while waiting for Tao but he couldn’t.

“Smells good,” Kris said, complimenting before he even put the food into his mouth. He looked like a boy who is excited when his mom cooked something favourite. Tao smiled as he felt glad. Once Kris shoved the spaghetti into his mouth, he kept on shoving more without stopping until there was none left in his bowl. Tao was stunned, looking at how ferocious Kris was, because he was eating it all in one-go. Kris was actually longing for that day since 4 years ago, be at home, playing basketball with Tao and eat something which he had prepared.

“Kevin hyung, do you want some more? I still have a packet of ramen in the cabinet,” Tao said. Rather feeling irritated of that guy who asked to go into his apartment and asked for food, he felt really glad. Somehow he felt happiness while looking at how much that guy love something that he cooked for him.

“Oh, that’s enough,” Kris said while grinning, wiping his mouth using a napkin. Tao was still eating. Kris had nothing to do that time so he gazed at the decorations in the house. Also, at that time his eyes suddenly caught on the husky plushie that recalling him of how close they were in the past. His expression just can’t explain more of his feelings when he quickly moved off the couch and grab the plush which was on the table.

“Oh my! Baby, you’re so cute!” he said, hugging the plush. Tao stopped eating, he was really surprised to see how that 189cm tall guy, jumping around, squealing and fanboying over a plush.

“His name is Baby, by the way. Glad that you like it,” Tao said, chuckled.

“Oh. Yeah, really!” Kris said.

Oh my, thank goodness! I don’t think that he just realized that I just called the husky by his name, he thought. He chuckled, concealing his doubts.

Did I bare myself too much? I’ll be dead if he suspected that it’s me, he thought, again. He picked up his shirt on the couch and put it back on his bare skin. Tao just watched while he was still enjoying his food, how someone that he called Kevin change his attitude from too casual to polite, as that time Kris sat on the couch properly, putting his legs together while hugging a pillow.

“Haha, actually it’s so cold here so I need to put on my shirt,” Kris said, while taking a short gaze to the air conditioner. “Sorry for coming to your house begging for some food and lie on your couch like it’s my own home,” Kris continued. Tao laughed.

“I’m alright though. I don’t really mind about it,” Tao smiled. “Plus, I have been alone in this big house for a long while. I’m so glad if you could come here often,” he said again.

“For real?” Kris said. Tao nodded. “Woah, that’s cool!” Kris said again, happily. He let his eyes roam in the house, but lastly he stopped at a door leading to a room which was happened to be his room for two years.

“Erh, is that room empty? No, I mean there are two rooms in this house, so if that one room is yours so how about the other one?” Kris shuddered a bit, but he tried to act cool so it didn’t seem so obvious.

“Oh, that room?” Tao paused after that. “Actually there was a friend lived here for a while, but since he left, I haven’t moved anything from that room yet. I don’t mean to move anything because somehow it reminds me of him,” he continued.

Kris stunned. He felt like his tear gland was leaking so he kept on looking at the ceiling, averted his eyes from looking at Tao, who was going to break down. It has been 4 years, but Tao still remember him. That moved his manly heart a little bit.

“He passed away because of a heart sickness,” Tao mumbled, broke into tears. Kris was trying hard not to cry. He felt guilty. A lot.

“I’m sorry, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” Kris slowly mumbling. He still didn’t look at Tao while saying that, pretending that he didn’t know anything.

“I miss him so much,” Tao uttered again, sobbing. Tears started to form a thin layer on Kris’s eye when he immediately swept off his surreptitious tears. They paused their conversation for a while, trying to hold on their feels for each other, literally.

‘He… misses me? So, what about Luhan saying that he hated me? What about Eurongie that he had thrown away?’ he spoke to his mind. Kris was so curious, so he looked at Tao while giving him another question to be answered.

“If he is still alive, what are you going to do?” asked Kris, despite on how hard he kept holding his feelings.

“Why keep on hoping when he’s already gone?” Tao said. “Do you know how much I suffered after he left? Why? Because I kept on believing that he would come back, that I refused to move on,” he said. He stopped talking after he gazed at Kris whom he really believed that he’s Kevin, but his face made him broke down even worse. Kris looked at him, he can’t resist but to let his tears rolling down his cheeks.

At that very moment, both of them looked into each other’s eyes.

“So, stop saying that he’s still alive because he isn’t,” he uttered again, sobbing.

Kris didn’t say anything but cried, listening to him. Despite of being guilty, he moved closer to Tao and hugged him, because he didn’t want to see him cry, and he too, had to hide his tears from him.

‘Forgive me Tao. I will promise you, I won’t leave you again…

And if remembering Kris is an ache, just forget Kris. He is now dead and just let him be, forever. Let me set things right again, but as Kevin, this time.’

* * *

Here's the update for today! Thank you for reading and giving me your generous comments! I'm so glad that if you could click on that subscribe button to follow the updates in the story. The story is not yet over, but I'm afraid to say that it's actually the beginning! hahaha! *winks* Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH READERS!!!

SARANGHAJA!