Kikwang’s POV

I stared at the papers on my bed.

Stared.

And stared.

And stared.

“Hyung, aren’t you going to read it?” Dongwoon asked, his eyes still fixed on his computer screen. I forced a weak smile. Yoseob and Doojoon were somewhere in the living room giggling and chatting. Junhyung was napping in the kitchen, his arms draped over a whole carton of coke (don’t ask me why). Hyunseung was just sitting on his bed beside me, staring into emptiness.
 

“Nope.” I chucked the papers under my pillow and laughed awkwardly.

“But isn’t the recording next week, hyung?”

I forced a chuckle again.

“Haha, I’ve got the lyrics and melody in my head already.”

Thankfully, the ever-innocent maknae didn’t ask anymore questions and went back to his game.

The house was quiet except from the occasional squeals and shrieks from Doojoon and Yoseob. And of course, the slight snoring of the still sleeping Junhyung. And the intermittent furious clicks of the mouse from the game-addicted maknae.

It's been about 2 days since I got the lyrics. And my past memories have been haunting me ever since. I had been crying silently under my blankets, unable to drift to sleep and on the rare occasions that I do, I would dream of her and wake up screaming and crying, my back drenched in cold seat,  my blankets and pillows thrown all over my hyungs sleeping beside me. What is this, Kikwang? These are just ordinary song lyrics. It's just a song. Just a song. Just a song featuring me.  But, why does my heart beat so fast whenever I hear this? Why do tears subconsciously well up in my eyes? Why do the lyrics bring up all too familiar, painful memories? Nonononono, Kikwang, you pabo. I mean, On Rainy Days had more touching lyrics than this. Seriously, Kikwang, get a grip…There’s no reason why you’re acting like this….no reason at all… 

I sighed. Maybe Dongwoon is right. I should start learning the song. The recording is coming soon. I carefully reached under my pillow but the moment my eyes landed on a line of the lyrics, my memories came rushing back into my head. I shuddered involuntarily and hurriedly dropped the papers on the floor, my hands clutching my blanket, trembling ever so slightly as I cowered in a corner of my bed.

Please call me tonight.

“Hyung, did my phone ring?”

“Hyung, did you receive any unknown smses?”

“Hyung, did you delete any of my smses?”

“Hyung, did the dorm phone ring?”

“Hyung, did anyone visit our dorm today?”

“Hyung, any letters?”

“Hyung…”

Everyday  I waited by the phone. Everyday I made sure my phone battery was full. Everyday I would hold my phone in hand, leaping up in anticipation whenever I had a text or a call only to slump back in disappointment. Everyday, I waited, wanted, needed you to call. To let me explain. To let me apologise. To let me tell you how much you meant to me. And everyday, every night, I would be disappointed. Did you really mean it when you said it was fine for me to leave? Did you really mean it when you said you hated me? Did you? Because I didn’t mean it. Everything I said, did, thought, was a big mistake. One that I will regret till the day I leave this world.

Suddenly, I felt a pair of arms wrapping themselves around my waist. I stiffened but slowly relaxed when I heard Hyunseung’s motherly voice whispering soothingly in my ear.

“It’s her, isn’t it? The girl you loved. You’re thinking of her again, aren’t you?”

“H-how did you know?” I stuttered, stunned. I thought none of the members knew of the existence of my girlfriend ex-girlfriend. He didn’t reply but instead started patting my back warmly, rubbing comfortable circles on my back. His warm, comforting embrace was too much for me to take and I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore.

“Sometimes, letting it all out is much better than bottling it all in.”

I hugged him back and burrowing my head in his chest, I let my walls collapse around me, hiccupping violently as tears streamed down my cheeks.

Shoko’s POV

Someone’s knocking on my door. No, make that, someone’s BANGING ANGRILY on my poor innocent door. I stared drowsily at my clock. 12 in the freaking morning. I stuffed my fingers into my ears and snuggled deeper into my bed.

The irritating “BANG BANG BANG” noises are still going on. I checked my clock. 12.45am.

Grrr. Imma kill this guy, whoever he is, right now, I snarled in my head. Grumpily, I stumbled out of bed and walked clumsily to the door. I swung open the door, screaming frustratedly, “WHADDYA WANT? IT’S FREAKING 12.45 IN THE FREAKING MORNING. DON’T YOU FREAKING SLEEP OR WHAT?!”

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Short update! :D

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PS Sorry if this is a boring chapter >V< Somehow...I just can't seem to write more "Kikwang chapters".