Gary was a little down during filming and the PD thought to cheer him up and bring forward his trip to Europe to cheer him up. They don’t know what was troubling him but they wanted to provide some distraction for him.  He had been talking about the cities he wanted to visit. They gave the prize because it was his wish and the company thought it was OK provided they filmed something to do with the episode there to get their money’s worth. Gary was OK with it. Work or leisure it is still a free trip planned for him.

Gary was gloomy most of the time, drinking himself to sleep some nights because he could not get jihyo out of his mind. He needed to get away to get something to make him live better. Some time to think things over and be ready of whatever Jihyo chooses to do with their relationship.  He needs to prepare himself. He doesn’t want the worse to happen but he has to accept the fact that the worse can happen especially with the way Jihyo had been awkward with him.

A few cities he went to had been an eye opener. He was surprised to see foreign people actually recognized him from Running Man. He got to experience so many different things and as he was curious, he was asking a lot of questions and learning a lot. He wrote some poems and lyrics when he got time off for coffee break which is rare.

Myuk PD whom accompanied him to film his travel asked him to write to each of the members. He was again reminded of Jihyo. If only Myuk knew what was going on, he wouldn’t have brought her up. He did as told. When he was writing for Jihyo, he had so much to write. He could spend hours writing to her. But he knew it was for TV and he can’’t be obvious yet he can’t be fake.

“The Seine River shines as bright as your eyes, and the Eiffel tower feels so high, unreacheble, as the distance to your heart,” he wrote of his feeling for Ji Hyo. The other members’ message were kept simple and friendly.

He was tired from all the travelling but the production team came up with filming the last minute. He had to attend filming the moment he touched down. The members were waiting for him at the airport and he slept on the way to the location, he slept whenever possible. He was jetlagged and he was not in the mood to deal fake it with jihyo.

Jihyo saw him and pitied him. She wanted so much to comfort him but she refrained herself. But when she saw him dozing off she had to help him make a scene. She was going to tell him of the dating news after filming ended, she should make nice with him first. She knew Gary will be heartbroken later.

Unfortunately, Gary went home in a rush because he was too tired. He didn’t say goodbye to any of them. He just went off. When Jihyo came out of her dressing room, she was mad at herself for not going straight to Gary. She lost her chance. She tried calling him but he had already turned off his phone. He decided he was too sleepy that other things can wait. She texted him begging for him to call her back, she didn’t receive any read notification from him. She suddenly felt all the stress rushing in. She broke down and cried that night. The news broke out that night. Her CEO kept his word. The news portal released it after midnight. Photos of her on a date with the CEO. He planned for the photos. He kept it for a while before releasing it. She knew of it but she had no choice. He agreed to give her time to break it to Gary in return for those photos to be taken.

1^st February 2012. Gary woke up and his phone. Messages were flooding in. He saw Jihyo’s name and read hers first. “Oppa, whatever you read, please listen to what I have to say.” That was the last line of her text. “Did something happen?” he was confused. He read on a message from HaHa.

“What’s happening?? Why did Jihyo do that? I thought you’re together” HaHa included screenshots of the photos and article. His phone dropped from his grip on to the floor. He could not feel his legs and dropped to the floor. Tears were pouring out of his eyes, he was sobbing against the floor. His heart sank so low he felt too heavy. He was weak.  He was in that position for an hour before he managed to gather his strength and walked to kitchen sink to wash his face.

“Why are you so weak??!!” He was shouting at himself. “Get up!” He got up and then he felt weak again. He went to the fridge and got some soju. He had no better way of dealing with it right then. He resorted to the drink to make him numbed. He kept drinking, not caring the phone ringing on the floor. It went dead by itself as the battery drained.

The next day he had to read what was posted online hoping he’d read somewhere it was fake news. But he read all sorts of messages of people pitying him. He felt pathetic and it wasn’t helping. Then, he noticed people were saying bad things about Jihyo because she dumped him. Suddenly, he felt angry that they were talking bad about her. He knows her and they don’t know her, how can they be judging her so bad? His possesive nature of her made him upset. He realized he wasn’t angry with her. He was just sad. He love her still. He wants to protect her still.

He logged into his twitter from his ipad. “Did we not try too hard on this characters? I will work harder knowing that there are people out there who care about me to tell me to be strong, but there is no need for that!! There is nothing that I need to be strong about. There is other people out there who is really struggling.. my biggest struggle is just to find myself hehe” He hoped that would help Jihyo in times like this. She should not be treated badly. She must have a hard time with the fans telling her to quit Running Man. He didn’t want to imagine her in a sad state, it makes him sadder.

He was drunk on his couch… he was out for 3 days. HaHa and Gil had been ringing his house for 2 days but he refused to open and dismissed it in his drunkenness. On the third day HaHa tried again constantly ringing in front of his door. He got annoyed and opened the door for the first time in 3 days. HaHa saw him and was speechless.

He had never seen his bestfriend in that condition. He stink of soju and beer, his eyes were swollen and he was bloated. He got angry and pushed thru the door and closed it. He held Gary by his collar to the wall.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!! Get some sense! Why are you doing this to yourself! Talk to her!”

“No!!!!” He was half sober. He sounded very upset and heartbroken. His tears began flowing again, he was unable to speak more. HaHa saw how devastating it was. He calmed down and pulled his friend to the bath room and filled the tub with cold water. He was like a zombie. He had no eomtion and followed.

“Hyung.. get inside” He went into the cold tub but didn’t flinch as he normally would. He was numbed. HaHa had to slap him hard to get some reaction.

“Hyung… listen to me…” He was holding his face to face him. “Look here!” His frustration with Gary crept in. Gary heard the change of tone and looked at him.

“Get yourself together please…” He adjusted his tone to appear calm. “Let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll get you changed and get in bed. You’re going to listen to me or I will send you to the hospital.”

Gary didn’t like the idea of getting out of the house. He did as HaHa told him to. He cleaned himself up. And got out to the living room. HaHa was cleaning up the mess. He saw Gary. “I ordered some food from your restaurant. We’ll eat together.” They ate together in silence. HaHa didn’t want to start talk about it to ensure he gets his fill of food first.

“I charged your phone for you. You don’t have to check it now. We’ll talk. But promise me you’ll reply to them all later. Everybody is worried and you disappearing will make people suspicious. We don’t know what happened with Jihyo. She is not talking either. She’s probably in the same stae as you. Now… I know you love her… I can see she loves you. This must be a setup.” He tried to feed him with some sense. He had his mind on track. HaHa had a long talk with him before leaving him.

“Hi Jihyo…” he started his text.

“Hi oppa :(“ She was so happy he texted that she was crying.  She was home. She locked herself in, unable to face anyone.

“Sorry for not replying to you earlier… Can I call you now?” The moment she read it, she called him.

“Hello oppa” her voice cracked.

“How have you been?” he tried to sound normal and calm.

“I’ve been worried for you.. How are you? I am so sorry this happened… I’m really sorry..” she sobbed.

“I just sobered up.. I’ve been drinking a lot. HaHa came to get me sorted just now.” There was a pause before he continued. “Why did you agree to it? Why didn’t you dicuss with me?”

“He got photos of us kissing the day we decided to take a break.. Somebody was spying on us. That person wanted 1 billion won in exchange for the photos. He got upset and threatened me…”

“What did he say to you??” He was upset because her boss took advantage of the situation. He also was suspicious of the photos. It could have been Mr Baek that set it up.

“He was going to ruin it for both of us. He said you and I will never have a future in the industry. He said he’d ruin you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He was calm, he didn’t want to distress her.

“I know you’d try to take things in your own hands. It would be bad. I can go through this.”

“But I have to give you up now.. I am handing you over to him. It’s heart breaking.” He sounded hurt.

“I am sorry…”

“I don’t know what to think or feel right now… I can’t do anything about it. I am frustrated that you didn’t think I was important enough to be included in your decision making..  I thought you knew how I hate feeling betrayed.”

“I am sorry..” She was sobbing. She had nothing else to say. She can’t think.

“But please don’t be too hard on yourself. I am sure you have your reason. But I just need time to digest all this. Please stop crying and be well.. It’s your decision. You have to live with it as best as you can. And I will accept it.”

“Thank you oppa. But can we please be friends?”

“Of course.. you’re part of the family. We can’t just cut ties. It may take time. But let’s take it slow. Let us heal. Don’t worry about me ok.. I’ll be ok” He comforted her.

“Thank you” She wanted to end the conversation as she normally did but she thought it was inappropriate to say ”I love you”.