It was all because of her, because of that damn girl called Chaeyoon. She was the one who dragged me into this mental torture filled with 'could we's and 'what if's. Everything that had happened to me, my financial distress, my unanswered longing, and more recently, my torn up life, would not happen if she didn’t say that words. Those words that were the root of all evil.
 

“Hey Suyeon, check this out!” Chaeyoon waved to her to come closer.

They were in a deserted computer lab. It was the middle of the day and everybody was in class. It just so happen that those two got their ‘permission’ to do their ‘magazine work’ there on the lab. No kidding, they just gave away some bull excuses to the teachers so that they're allowed to skip classes. 

“Whaaat…” Suyeon answered half-heartedly. She was reading a good piece of creepy-pasta and she didn’t want anything to disturb her leisure time.

“Just come here! I wanna show you something," Chaeyoon became more frantic, in both her waves and the tone of her voice.

Suyeon sighed and finally pushed her chair closer to her friend's, only to see a YouTube video buffering on the computer monitor. There she saw the title of the video, ‘Sorry, Sorry MV’.

“Sorry sorry? What kind of people name a song ‘Sorry Sorry’?” She looked at Chaeyoon with a frown on her face. .

“It’s Super Junior’s new song.” She answered back enthusiastically.

“Super... Wait what?! Super Junior?! Chaeyoon, I thought you said that you’re not interested with local bands? I thought you said they looked gay?! You traitor!” Suyeon landed a annoyed slap on Chaeyoon’s arm, “You ! I didn’t listen to any new local releases because you told me not to! Why are you suddenly showing me a ‘Super Junior’ MV?! Huh?!”

Suyeon's tone kept on raising and Chaeyoon did the only thing that could shut her up, slapping her hand onto Suyeon's lips.

“Sssh, the video is starting.”

Throughout the length of the video, Suyeon kept continuing on her muffled rant.

“Why did the opening looked so ual? Who was the owner of the lips?”

“Oh my, how can you tell them apart? They all look the same.”

“Why does that man’s skull so big?”

“Why are they singing inside a glass box?”

“Is this a bar? Are they singing in a bar? It looked like a bar.”

When the video was finally over, Chaeyoon looked at her and asked, “So?”

“So what?”

“What do you think?”

Suyeon only shrugged, “Not bad. It’s quite catchy, I guess?”

“But seriously, I thought you’re only into western guys,” she said as she reeled herself back to her monitor.

“Well, I don’t know, I should broaden my horizon one way or another.”

“Yeah, but you should set your bar lower anyways,” Suyeon took a glance at Chaeyoon, and she was already opening another video from the so called ‘Super Junior’.

“If you couldn’t hook up with Captain Jack Sparrow, doesn’t mean you have a higher chance on dating those pretty Kpop boys, eh Chaeyoon?”

She only stuck her tongue out in response, “how would you know? It might happen if you have enough faith, Ms. Song.”
 

And so she said she liked them. And so she said she loved them! I had no other option than to be in too. I wouldn’t lie and say that I hate my newfound obsession though, it would’ve been the biggest lie I tell. I love them, oh, how I love them.

But I should’ve known better. Knowing Chaeyoon, I should’ve predicted that she would get bored by the second year.

So she left me alone.

How can I get down from here? After all that we’ve done, watching them on our PC all night long, talking about them, going to their shows, basically spending three years in our life fawning all over them, how can I let that go?

I’m alone and I can’t tell her. Of how much I still adore them, how much I still have my hope high.

She would only laugh at me.

So I decided, this Super Show would be my last. Super Show 5 would be my last Super Show. After that, I’m done. I would grow up and stop liking those pretty Kpop boys.

Easy?

No.

Not when one of them took your hand and dragged you to the god-damned stage and did a god-damned unthinkable thing to me.

Recorded and then shown on the national television.

That’s it?

No.

Not when a mob of angry teenagers threatens to jump on me everytime I walk away from my home without wearing a disguise of some sort.

Not when my wish came true, happened on a wrong time and the wrong way.

Not when that particular pretty Kpop boy, that one, that one… Changed his status from “Oh, I know him, he’s Cho Kyuhyun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAA!!!!!!!” to “Oh, yeah, I know him, he’s Cho Kyuhyun.”

Get the difference?

He became someone I know personally, and I’m not ready for that. Ever.

So, well, you know what Chaeyoon? You’re right. It will happen if you have enough faith, Ms. Song.

A/N: See? Told you it's not gonna be consistent. Just look at that! A combination of first person and third person perspective in one chapter! Blasphemy! :P