If it's going to rain, now would be a perfect time. Jae Ren thought as she walked briskly with no destination in mind.

Rain would mask her scent well enough. It would give her half an hour, at least, to be alone before anyone would try to ask her that dreaded question.

"Are you okay?"

It was getting late and if she hadn't known VIXX as well as she did, she wouldn't have assumed that they would start looking for her by now.

"Did anything happen?"

What was she supposed to tell them?

That she had found out her friend was just as untrustworthy as N had said?

That she went to Taemin to try and find a way to break the contract?

They wouldn't understand, she knew. Often times, Jae Ren wondered if she understood her  own reasons as well.

If she could justify them.

Could selfishness be justified, I wonder?

"Jae."

She almost jumped from where she stood. There was suddenly someone in front of her.

"Hongbin!"

"You're distressed." He simply said, "I was just with the others earlier when I had to go buy things they had broken. Where is your friend?"

He was gentle with the question. There was this vague awareness he had with her emotions- he could guess her damp mood.

"Would you like to walk home together?" He asked again, since she did not seem inclined to answer his first question.

She did not seem relieved to see him either. Rather, she looked all the more troubled.

Jae Ren nodded, smiling a little. "I get lost easily, but you guys seem to find me just as easily. I wonder why that is?"

There was this sadness around her.

She couldn't mask her disappointment with having been 'found' so easily. She was not sure what she was running away from either.

Gloom. Hongbin hummed. "Finding directions is often difficult, I have to admit. Especially if you're alone." He smiled softly, "You don't have to be." He was careful, sensitive enough to sense the meaning behind her words.

Jae Ren shook her head. "I choose to find my own way, sometimes. And some say it's ridiculous."

They walked in a slow pace, with a sort of atmosphere that made Hongbin want to walk with no sound- as if the sound of his steps would shatter the solemnity of his words.

"If I could trust others easily, maybe being lost wouldn't be so difficult." She looked straight ahead, "Anyone can lie. No one's entitled to tell the truth. Even time can't give you the truth easily. Even friends have secrets."

Kwon Jiyong. Hongbin could only guess. "Well," he glanced at her, his heart aching at the sadness that washed over her face. "you can always trust me. Us."

"But can you trust me?" She immediately asked, looking back at him. "What if I've done something- or I'm going to do something in the future that would change a lot of things? You can't say that I won't do something that could kill you or them because I'm the very weakness you guys have. I'm the weak link, so how can you live with me so peacefully knowing I could end all of this- whatever this is- because I'm not strong enough?" Her face contorted to that of anger, then sadness. "You can't be so naive..."

They had stopped in the middle of side-walk. If there had been people looking at them, neither of them seemed to care.

Her anger wasn't directed at him, Hongbin knew. If anything, her words inflicted more pain to herself than anyone else.

"But we're your strength." His gentle voice tried to soothe her. "We love you so much, Jae. There are burdens that you don't need to carry." He held her arms as she was shaking.

Jae Ren shook her head, crying. "I don't want the responsibility of your lives." She sobbed. "I don't need that kind of love."

N felt the dreariness of the afternoon.

I wonder if this is how Jaekyun saw things to be in the future? He couldn't help but wonder as his thoughts ran around the situation he was in. She never did take much of liking to Leo.

N could sense a familiar presence approach the house from a while ago.

"I'm here for Jae Ren." Taemin announced from behind N. He had invited himself in the garden. "But why are you all alone?"

"It's not an interesting story." N replied. He was sure Taemin wouldn't be interested with Toppdogg being missing and the others looking for them. "Jae's not home yet. But I think one of us has met up with her already."

Taemin walked nearer to the tree seedling that was messily planted. "I'm still amazed with your capabilities as a group. I would say you're relatively too strong. But it must have cost a hefty price for my old friend." He helped the sad seedling grow taller, maturing it for a few months time to help it survive. "I may have startled Jae Ren earlier. Tell her I apologize."

Something did happen. N stopped watering the newly planted garden and turned to look at Taemin. "If you're not going to tell me what happened, I don't think I'm entitled to give you that favor."

"It's not my place to say what happened." Taemin shrugged. "I'll be leaving, then. I do not believe she would listen to me if I talk to her now, anyway."

Left in the dark, N felt an odd sensation that gnawed at the pit of his stomach. His anxieties amplified at the thought of events in Jae Rens life that he knew nothing about.

I'm useless.

A sharp pain in his chest obstructed his breathing as he collapsed on the grass floor.

He couldn't panic, his confusion was more dominant. 

He couldn't understand why his lungs were suddenly failing him.

Has this happened before?

His eyes widened as he gasped for air. A possibility had dawned on him.

Jae?