"She's still has a low fever so it's best you don't tire her out."

"We know. We're not beasts."

"... You are." N coughed. "I'm just saying that it's best if only four or five people be in the room with her. You won't fit either way."

"We don't fit here." Nakta complained. "Did they really just count you guys?"

"We were gone. Not to mention having 18 guardians is just ridiculous." P-goon pointed out in an effort to calm his 12 brothers. All he had heard since they arrived were complaints. The living room was too small to hold all of them so four others stayed in the kitchen. "Xero, obviously, would stay in the room with her throughout the three-men rotation. Who's going first?"

No one could argue with that. Xero was already inside the room, much to Hansols distaste. And N's, since he himself couldn't go inside.

"How did she get sick again?" Kidoh asked.

"A fever happens all the time." N waved it away, knowing that they'll find some reason to blame him. He did often do that with them. Without Jae Ren or Leo as the mediator, he didn't want to risk any fight. "Is anyone even going in? I’ll chase you out if you’re just going to loiter here.” He grumbled.

"You could've told me first." Jae Ren mumbled tiredly.

"That wouldn't stop you from getting a fever." Xero stated, smiling. He sat at the unoccupied space on her bed. "And it was supposed to be a surprise."

She heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry you have to see me this way. And a call wouldn't hurt."

"About that..." He stood up and fished the remains of the phone she had given them, laying it beside her. "It's broken."

"Well I see that." She snorted. "How?"

"It was on a mission. We do small errands for the village-folk we pass and get small rewards in return. Like a place to sleep and such..."

"Like hobos."

"Well, yeah." He shrugged. "We broke it when we had to jump off a waterfall."

"Xero. I understand you avoiding the cities," She rubbed her temples to ease the headache. "But I don't see why you can't simply rent an inn then do the missions."

"That would be a waste."

"Have you even touched the money?”

"... Well, no." He honestly replied. "But that's because it's unnecessary. I think you have enough on your plate as it is with VIXX- no offence. I'm just saying that you need to concentrate your resources on you and them." Xero let his hand squeeze hers in an effort to calm her down. He didn't want her getting any sicker than she already was. Besides, all of Topp Dogg knew where they stood. They were already indebted to her and VIXX as it was, they didn't want to be any more of a burden. Even if they seemed ungrateful and harsh, it was just the habit they formed over the years.

"You're all part of this weird family too." Jae Ren stated.

"I know. But as your guardian, you come first. That's the number one rule." He suppressed a chuckle when she looked away stubbornly. His smile disappeared when he realized what or who she was thinking about.

"Jae Ren, honestly, are you okay?"

"I have fever. So that translates to a maybe." She answered.

"I'm talking about why there are only 5 members of VIXX here." Though N strictly warned them to avoid the subject, he didn't think ignoring the big elephant in the room to be the better choice. "What happened?"

"He's not my guardian. I'm not his master. What else is there?" It was no longer anger she felt. She had already passed that stage. Right now, she was drowning in a mixture of grief and she accepted that.

Xero nodded. "Oh... I hope you're okay."

"I had been better." She shrugged. "Aren't the others coming in?"

"In a while. They're probably still arguing who goes in." He waved the matter away. "Jae Ren I have to tell you something."

"What? Is it serious?" She noticed his nervous tone.

"Sort of." He murmured. "I just wanted to say it honestly. I'm not expecting for you to do anything, though." He stayed silent for a while with his eyes closed in concentration.

"Jae Ren I think I like you." His eyes shot open. "More than the standard 'like'. I don't expect anything, like I said. I'm more than fine with things the way they are. I'm sorry since I know this is bad timing but I thought I should tell you. You're not mad, right? I understand if you are."

She stared at him for a while as if she was registering what he had said. She probably was. It was the first confession she received. She didn’t expect she would get one right now- nor in a hundred years.

"I'm not mad. Not the slightest." Jae Ren finally spoke. "I'm just confused."

"Because?"

"Because I someone told me to expect this to happen at least once but I still don't believe this." She started to chuckle. "Back in my old school, I was rejected. Not publicly but it still hurt. I thought there was something wrong with me so I gave up the concept of romantic love."

"There's nothing wrong with you, Jae Ren." He heard about it from Ken. When the latter was telling them about the poor wolf pack they had kidnapped.

She squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry."

He laughed. "It's okay, really. I knew this would happen, actually. P-Goon hyung already told us that he would never allow any of us to have feelings for you, so I decided to tell you. Though I can't say whether it's possible to actually move along..."

"You mean move on."

"Yes that's what the ahjumma told me." He smiled brightly.

She laughed. "Xero you asked an old lady for advice about love?"

"Well I assure you none of Topp Dogg would be any help. So I asked the old lady I helped push her truck and that's what she told me." He met a lot of people on their adventures. Slowly, he had grown into a bright and warm person. That's what his brothers told him. "She told me nothing would happen if the truth doesn't get out there."

"That's nice, Xero. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you." He genuinely said. "But if someone else would confess, are you going to accept them?"

"Are you... are you planning to kill someone?"

"Jae Ren, seriously!" He laughed.

Maybe it was dangerous for him to keep sticking to her now that he knew what he felt for her. But he never wanted to lose her. He would love her as a brother if it meant being close to her because he just wanted to be around her. He felt like his new life needed to circle around her.

Her laughter died down. "Honestly, I don't think so. It would depend on who it is."

"Does that mean you like someone from Topp Dogg or VIXX?"

"I'm just attracted to some." She emphasized, earning a confused look from him. "Not all love is 'love', Xero. There are crushes here and there. People you like, but not that much."

"Okay... so who?"

"Xero don't kill anyone."

"I have never killed anyone so please go on." He didn't even know where she pulled that joke from. Though it made him feel at ease how familiar they both acted around each other.

"Okay. Fine. If I had to choose, I would say Hojoon and Kidoh. Maybe Seogoong."

He looked at her weirdly. "You have strange tastes."

"What? Why?" She laughed. "I like Hojoon. Kidoh is funny and Seogoong is gentlemanly and strong."

"Hojoon has weird feet smell, Kidoh spits when he talks and Seogoong is a weirdo in disguise."

She turned away from him. "I knew I never should've told you."

"I'm just telling you the truth before you do anything rash."

"Xero you're such an idiot in disguise of a cool guy." She laughed, throwing a pillow at his face. Much to her happiness, he didn't catch it even though he could.

"I'm telling you the facts!"

Back in the living room, N paced around the room as the 12 Topp Dogg members decided who went in by a rock-paper-scissors tournament.

"Can't this go any faster?" He impatiently watched as Yano and Jenissi took their time to stare each other down.

"These take time so shush." Hansol said. "Since we can feel each others thoughts, it's hard to block them out."

That made sense, N had to admit, but he didn't like Xero being alone with Jae Ren. It wasn't a warning of danger he felt, more like an anxiety of having Jae Ren whisked away from him.

Us. Whisked away from us. He thought. If only I could go in...  "Hongbin maybe you should check her if she's okay?" He asked the younger who refereed the matches. It struck N as insane how seriously they were taking this.

"She's fine, hyung. She said she'll tell Xero to tell me if anything was wrong." He said. "Sit down or something, hyung."

N heaved a long and tired sigh and retreated to his room.

"I've got dibs on this bed if we can't find another place to sleep." Nakta sat on Leo's bed and laid himself down. "Honestly, I never expected this to happen to your group."

N blinked. Nakta had lived with them as a spy for some time so he knew VIXX the best out of his brothers.

"Me neither."

"N, I'm sorry about that time." He suddenly said. "I was never really acting. I had fun with you guys. At some point, I even wished it was all real."

N listened with his eyes closed.

"After that, I really couldn't stop dreaming about those times. As strict as Jaekyun was, I could tell she cared."

His eyes snapped open. "Why would you say that?"

Nakta shrugged. "You didn't sleep in a tower like we did. Even our food was limited. And you know what kind of missions she orders us to do."

Mercenary missions. N thought. Topp Dogg was a mercenary group under Seomins control.

"And she just gave you over to someone like Jae Ren. That's probably the best gift you can ever receive from someone."

"That's true."

"So I'm sorry, really."

N nodded. "It's fine." He just wished Leo was here, too, to hear him.

“I wish Leo was here. I would’ve liked to apologize to him, too.” Nakta said it out loud.

“If he wanted to be here, he would be.” N said.

“That’s not true.” Nakta replied, “Maybe he’s over there because he doesn’t know if he has the right to be here. He had always been that type.”

“And you know this how? I lived with him for more than 100 years.”

“I know that because I had to keep an eye on him since he was the most secretive and dangerous of you six.” Nakta snorted, “You’d be surprised of the things an outsider like me can see.”

N just sighed. “Shut up.”

“Xero called Jae Ren the a lot, by the way. You probably didn’t know that because Jae Ren wouldn’t have told you.” Nakta grinned. “I’m going to the kitchen now. Good luck with your jealousy.”

N slammed the door shut. If it weren’t for the fact that Onew would most likely punish him for it, he would have punched through the walls just to calm himself.

2/4