“This is all my fault…I ruined everything.” Onew says for the hundredth time.

Key sighs and cuddles deeper into the blanket on Onew’s couch. He’s in a slight fetal position with his legs wrapped around the comforter that the older man had handed him to snuggle with.

“It’s not your fault.” Key repeats, his voice muffled by the blanket.

                They’re back at Onew’s apartment and Key has been falling in and out of slumber for the past few hours.

“I just feel like such a failure to you…” Onew’s eyes are puffy and red. Why does he have to cry so much? It’s like watching someone kick a puppy repeatedly.

“You aren’t.” Key sits up agitated.

“But –“

“Would you shut up? I love you, okay? Why don’t you get that? You are not a failure to me. You’ve nothing wrong. This is all me. Me, me, me, me! Okay? I ed up! It’s my fault. I dragged you into this whole thing. I ruined everything . You didn’t do anything. You’re this perfect…thing…and I as a human being for toying with you and taking you for granted…”

“Key…”

“No. No. Why do stay with me, huh? I’m so selfish and I can barely show any love toward you. That’s probably why Minho cheated on me. I’m not enough…I can’t –“

Onew lounges at Key and holds him tightly with Key’s face pressed into his chest. He inhales deeply, taking in the faint scent of vanilla coming off of the older man. Onew pets his hair and sits down on the couch next to him, not letting go. “Key…” Onew sighs, “Key, Key, Key…”

“What are you doing, On –“

“Shut up…just shut up.”

“Oh.”

“I love you so much, Key. You should know that.”

“I do...it’s just that I –“

“Would you shut up and not ruin the moment, please?”

“Okay…”

“Anyway, I love you more than anything. You don’t give yourself enough credit. And I love you even more because you’re aware that you’re a . You do wrong things, yeah…but you’re not a bad person. I stay with you because nobody else would be able to handle me, and no one in hell would be able to handle your mood swings.”

Key chuckles, pressing his cheek deeper into Onew’s chest. “You’re perfect…in a non-perfect sort of way. The more time I spend with you every single day of my life, the more I realize how much I love you. I don’t know what else to say other than I love you…because god, I really do.” Onew says softly.

“You’re so strange.” Key mutters.

“What? I’m strange?”

“You were just an emotional wreck two seconds ago and now you’re all Mr. Macho Man suddenly.”

“Well…you have no idea how small and fragile you look.” Onew says quietly, slightly chuckling.

                The room falls silent and Onew won’t loosen his grasp on Key, but he doesn’t mind. He pushes away a little bit and looks up at the older, “I say those three words playfully all the time. You may not think I mean it, but I do, Jinki. I mean it because without you, I don’t know where I’d be. I love you. I adore you. You’re my rock, Jinx. You keep me balanced with your idiocy and dorkiness.  I love you. I don’t know what else I could say or do that could explain how much you mean to me, because those words just aren’t enough.”

                Onew leans forward and captures Key’s lips in his own, kissing him softly. This kiss is as light and gentle as a butterfly or autumn leaves blowing in the wind. Key opens his eyes and looks into Onew’s,  searching for an answer to something, anything. Onew leans forward again, but this time he presses his forehead against Key’s shoulder, resting it there and sighs.

“You drive me insane, Bummie.”

“I’m sorry.” Key whispers, tracing circles into Onew’s thigh with his index finger.

“Don’t be…I’ve gotten quite used to it.”

A/N: Very sappy chapter haha I don't know if you dig that or not. It's one of the last crying/woe is me chapters for awhile so if you're sick of them, don't worry. It's over for now. (Until Key and Jonghyun talk it out lmfao)

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