The filming schedule was more hectic now.  Min Ho and Shin Hye were filming almost daily with a day here and there for other contract obligations.  Packed schedules meant they saw nothing of each other outside of filming.   Not seeing each other outside of filming made the times spent filming all the more precious.

I’ve been asked if Episode 13 was hard to film because we had to coordinate our tears.  We were able to just look into each other’s eyes and tell what the other one was going to do.  How awesome is that between two people?  Even though I knew we had an undeniable connection, I still wanted to check several fan and drama blog sites to gauge our fans’ opinions of our scenes.  I read a person’s comment stating “When Eun Sang hugged Kim Tan outside Mango Six it was so fake looking.  A real hug doesn’t have all the space between the girl and guy’s face and neck so this just shows how Min Ho doesn’t have chemistry with Shin Hye.”   I would never call that person a fan of mine.  And what space?  I left a space between us?  That would be my mistake then because I sure in hell was trying to get as close as I could.  If viewers only knew the thoughts going through my head when I am able to put my head against her head – the show would not be able to be broadcast.  Stupid comments.  I am swearing off reading any more so called fan comments because they aren’t fans.

Episode 13 had one scene I particularly liked.  The scene when we stay in Myung Soo’s clubroom.  When we sat on the couch and Shin Hye’s legs were trapped between my legs.  No one will ever know how hard that scene was to film.  If they can’t tell by the look on my face that I had other thoughts about the way we were sitting then no one was paying attention.  My mind was not on the dialogue at all – my mind was not doing much thinking at all. 

The scene at Bo Na and Chan Young’s party was difficult but not difficult.  We did laugh a lot when we were practicing but that was because of all the suggestive comments from the other cast members.  Shin Hye was blushing too prettily.  I was a tad bit over eager when I started to disrobe – no, I shouldn’t say it that way – I was removing the apron from Eun Sang.  In my mind I was removing her clothing alright but it wasn’t an apron.  When Shin Hye looked up into my eyes it was all I could do not to kiss her; lucky for her I had a touch of cold that day and was afraid I would pass it to her.  I didn’t like the way Min Hyuk was watching Shin Hye.  He acted like he was ready to protect her if I stepped over the boundaries.  Now I am trying to figure out if it was for his Yong Hwa. 

The scene I was waiting on finally arrived.  The closet “air kiss” or “almost kiss” was an exciting scene to film but it left me wanting more.  So when PD Kang pulled me to the side and said that he wanted Kim Tan to really kiss Eun Sang I was speechless.  I think PD Kang thought by my expression that I was reluctant.  He started to talk to me sort of man-to-man as if he thought perhaps I was reluctant to kiss her.  So to stop him from saying things that were embarrassing I told him I understood what he was saying and I would do as he wished.  He told me to not discuss it with Shin Hye; just do it.  He wanted to capture the real look of surprise on her face while filming and he knew she would over-think the situation if given warning.  So I thought about it and decided to stop thinking and just go with my emotions. 

When we ran through how we would enter the room and how we would position ourselves I didn’t say anything about kissing.  The script was minimal in describing how; it just said a kiss of desperation.  OK, I can do this because I am becoming desperate waiting to have a real kiss with Eun Sang.  It is best if I can remember to say Eun Sang.

I was nervous as I pulled her into the closet.  It really didn’t feel like there were other people around.  I knew that the crew was there because we could see the sound boom above us if we looked up.  My attention was definitely not on the sound equipment or the crew.  I said my lines and the strangest thing happened, I felt like it was the real me saying those words to Shin Hye.   The script’s brief description of desperate kiss had ‘held chin with hand’ and that was it.  So I started as the script read and the next thing I know I am really into the kiss.  She struggled slightly when I first started the kiss because it was unexpected on her part.  She didn’t struggle for long maybe a second and then she responded.  It was not the character Eun Sang responding either, it was Shin Hye the woman responding.  I couldn’t resist a small second kiss at the end because I didn’t want the kiss to end.  I had just kissed - not pretend drama kissed the actress - but really put my heart into it and kissed the woman in front of me.  We pulled apart slightly and I gathered her into my arms and held her tightly against me.  I said the words I had memorized but I can say with all my heart I meant those words.  The script read nothing about her arms going around me; she slid them around my waist and I felt her heart beating against my heart.  I wanted to stay that way a lot longer than PD Kang allowed.  Shin Hye was slightly blushing when we entered the sound stage area but I didn’t this time.  I wanted to hold her and protect her.   

The hardest scene to film was the ending of episode 16 and the beginning of episode 17 when I find out Eun Sang left and my heart was breaking.  I know I joked a bit about the crying and that it wasn’t anything much but the honest truth was I had never cried like that before nor had it ever felt that real.  When PD Kang was telling me what Kim Tan was feeling and how his heart was breaking all I did was think what if this happened to Shin Hye and me.  The tears came and the heartbreak felt real.  It was hard for me to bear.  I don’t want to do another scene like that ever again.  I don’t know how Shin Hye manages to keep her sanity when she cries.  She really does cry each and every time.

Kim Tan’s 18^th birthday party was fun to film.  I really enjoyed the part after the meeting with Kim Tan’s father.   Eun Sang and Kim Tan got to hug each other.  It was the most comfortably exciting hug.  It was definitely me hugging Shin Hye – no matter what anyone else said or thinks – it was me.

The last two parts of the drama that I enjoyed beyond measure were the surprise at the old apartment when I showed Eun Sang the video of her.  There wasn’t anything written in the script about Tan chasing Eun Sang around the apartment.  I ad-libbed that part and PD Kang left it in the episode.  I wasn’t actually ad-libbing because of the drama; I was playing with Shin Hye.  She responded so cutely that I couldn’t resist.  The second part was two-fold; I got to give her a kiss that showed my sincerity and the ending of the show where we walked toward tomorrow with snow falling all around us.  I really enjoyed that ending.  It was bittersweet though.  We got to stand and chat while waiting on the film crew to set the cameras correctly but I knew it was the end of my seeing her every day.  How would I convince her to continue to see me with all the hoopla that surrounds us every day?