Chapter 10 Does my heart know what my head knows?

My Heart's Desire

“What?” Shin Hye looked at him startled at his question about Geun Suk and Yong Hwa.  “Why would you ask me such a question?”

He was watching her eyes when he asked her if she was in love with Geun Suk or Yong Hwa.  Her eyes were large to start with but with the question they become huge.  He could tell she was uncomfortable with his question.  And it hurt him.  He didn’t know why he should feel like she had rejected him.  He really was stepping over the line by asking if she were in love to start with but he wanted her to say no.   What could he say if she didn’t answer?  How could he figure out where her heart lay?  He really wanted her to say she had never had a boyfriend that she had never been in love with anyone.  He needed to hear her say she had never been in love. 

Shin Hye was in a quandary and didn’t know how to answer or what to answer.  She did love Geun Suk and Yong Hwa but she was not in love with either one.  She did not have romantic feelings for either one.  She knew there were fans that wished she was in a relationship with each of her boys but she just didn’t have those kinds of feelings.  She would do anything for either one of them but she had friend-zoned both of them and there was no chance of love developing with either one.  Once upon a time she thought she might have those feelings for Sukkie but it turned out she was just so wrapped up in the story line that she had mistaken that for real feelings.  Once she sorted through her feelings she was able to see how all the pieces fit together and she was happy with her friends and herself. 

She couldn’t say she had never had a crush or been infatuated with a guy.  She had crushes on boys in school but those sorts of feelings never lasted more than a day or two and were typical of all school age girls.  She had been infatuated with her co-stars before especially when she first started in the business.  She would never forget how she idolized Lee Wan.  She had worked with him at a very young age though and she had acted in 2 very emotional dramas with him.  He was a good friend and if he ever suspected she was infatuated with him he didn’t show it.  He was a true loyal friend to her now. 

But feelings for a guy that came from the heart?  Where would she start to explain to him of all people her feelings about her heart?  She knew who he was, what Korean or Asian for that matter didn’t know who Lee Min Ho was?  He was the heart throb of Asia.  At their first encounter he was rude and obnoxious to her.  She would never forget his condescending attitude toward her and his insolence.  So when she was chosen as his co-model for Etude House Cosmetics she was leery.  During the Etude House commercials she wanted to be disdainful of him and prove he did not affect her in any way but she had not been able to avoid the pull she felt toward him.  When she stood close to him she felt an irresistible pull – a definite need to be closer to him.  She fought with the feeling during the commercial shoots but each time she had almost melted into him.  He was never aware and she wanted to keep it that way.  Being sociable and friendly with him was as close as she would ever be with him.  He was too dangerous for her to handle – too dangerous for her heart to handle.  So she would never allow herself to think of him in that light.  And keeping him at a distance was easy once she began her game of not liking him.  It was the safest thing for her to do.

She could feel him distancing himself from her right then.  She should answer him but if she waited too long it would sound strange even forced.  So she squared her shoulders and turning to face him she said, “I love Geun Suk Oppa and Yong Oppa with all my heart but I am not in love with either.  They are my dearest friends and always will be.  I have many friends but have yet to give my heart to anyone.  I often think it is impossible for personal reasons.   And no, I have never had a real boyfriend in the true meaning of the word.  Perhaps I have avoided that particular quandary in my life due to a personal situation.  Until that situation is resolved I will continue to avoid any romantic entanglements.  Does that answer your question Min Ho, ssi?”

He heard what she said and he realized she was trying to stop him from asking any further questions.  She was trying to extinguish any desire he had to cross some imaginary line she had drawn.  But she did not know him at all because he loved a challenge.  Not that he would chase a girl simply because she presented a challenge.  But where this girl was concerned he could not explain his reaction or desire.  There was something about her that had grabbed him long ago and he didn’t even know it at the time.  He couldn’t say it out loud; he couldn’t acknowledge it but somewhere in his heart he knew he was in love with the woman in front of him.  He had been in love with her for a long time and he wanted to pursue this new feeling.  He heard her say she had no boyfriend and she wasn’t in love with her Sukkie or Yong Hwa.  He didn’t care what excuses she gave to avoid him.  It didn’t matter, all that mattered was she wasn’t in love with anyone.  He smiled at her and her heart skipped a beat.

He changed the subject abruptly.  He started discussing the scene they were to do the next day.  They would be filming the car drive and almond farm visit.  It was a one shot film deal so they had to get it correct the first time.  He was really looking forward to the drive up the mountain in the beautiful California weather.   He couldn’t stop smiling and she was puzzled by this – hadn’t she just stopped him in his tracks?  Didn’t she give him a “don’t cross the line” message?  So why was he looking at her with that smile and those intense eyes of his – why?  

She looked in his eyes and she was lost.  She knew it but what was a girl to do when she was confronted with the soulful eyes of Lee Min Ho?  She was telling herself don’t fall for him – look away – for God’s sake Shin Hye look away – but that was what her head was telling her to do.  But did she listen?  No – she was looking back at him with her heart in her eyes.

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Amsohappy
#1
Chapter 26: A Very Beautiful Story.....
sarahsusanti #2
Chapter 26: Thank you for yhe whole story and the ending...^_^
mschase6 #3
Chapter 26: They say that love and hate are two sides of the same coin. With this story, you have proven that to be the case. Carefully interweaving career facts of the two characters with the beautifully descriptive story of two people choosing hate as a way of denying their passionate love for one another, you have written a truly romantic story. Thank you for this work of fiction. You are a gifted writer.
avrylle #4
Chapter 26: Thank you for a nice story...^_^
estrelitacristino
#5
Chapter 26: Wow!Writer-nim,thanks for this wonderful story!Hoping it will come true,,,hehehehe^-^Waiting for your next story!
estrelitacristino
#6
Chapter 16: Writer-nim,ur really good!:-P,
iloveness
#7
Chapter 26: Thank you for this wonderful story...
rackyvirgo #8
Chapter 26: Thanks for this wonderful story, hope it will become real.
ikak88 #9
Chapter 26: gomawo chingu~aah....
kenkat #10
Chapter 26: A beautiful wedding and a ever lasting love ending! How we wish that it could come true one day!!! Thank you musoukanomake for all your labor of love! We are so luck to have you and you are an amazing writer :)) will be looking forward to your next story xoxoxo.....