I can feel what he is saying is more than the script.  I don’t know what to do – how should I react?  I will not let Shin Hye answer this but will only be Cha Eun Sang!  But as I look into those eyes that can express his soul without a word, I find I am putting me into Eun Sang’s answer.   I have to make sure he understands this is impossible.  This cannot be because he is Lee Min Ho – the Lee Min Ho.  An insignificant lacking actress like me would never hold the interest of a man like him.  I can’t fall under his spell.  I will try hard to express with my eyes that this is impossible.  I think my heart did something because it is hurting so right now.  It really hurts.

Why does this scene with the Hollywood Sign seem like more than Eun-sook wrote?  Why do I feel Shin Hye is telling me we are as far apart as two people can be and we can never come together?  Why does her voice have a feeling of finality to it?

Why do I feel like Min Ho is walking away from Shin Hye and not Kim Tan walking away from Eun Sang?  Shin Hye feels such an aching emptiness in her heart that she feels faint.

We finished up filming at Redlands.  I have good memories of our filming at the Redlands campus.  We were invited to one of the Korean meet-n-greet potlucks.  Shin Hye was surrounded with fans wanting to know more about CNBlue.  I kept hearing comments like, “Are you Yong Hwa’s girlfriend?” or “Are you Geun Suk’s girlfriend?”  And not once did I hear “Are you Min Ho’s girlfriend?”  You would think I would get equal play from the Koreans at Redlands wouldn’t you?  But, no, I don’t.  I had lots of fans asking me questions and if I said it once, I said it a hundred times, “No I am not in a relationship with any of my former co-stars.”  

Our lease on the house will be up in 3 days so PD Kang says all the scenes at the house must be finished by then.  It seems it is a popular house and hard to rent.  We did the ‘Jay comes to visit me after his hospital stay’ scene.  Shin Hye is joking with him and he is helping her with her ‘surfer’ slang.   Why does he need to keep putting his arm around her shoulder?  Little girl do I need to always rescue you?  How did you manage all these years without someone like me?  Or did you have someone that kept you safe?  Diverting ‘Jay’s’ attention away from Shin Hye is not hard to do.  But why do I have to divert his attention so many times within 2 hours?

We are preparing to film the ‘morning after she spent the night’ scene.  The scene where she comes out of the guest room and stands on the pool deck looking off into the horizon, the scene where I come out onto the top deck and look at her – the moment I fall in love with her – the moment I fall in love …the moment Min Ho sees Shin Hye…really sees Shin Hye.

We finish all the daytime scenes at the house.  We are through here; we finished the last scenes this evening.  The scene of me by the pool, checking and re-checking Eun Sang’s SNS site, the scene of me eating a lonely sandwich, me getting frustrated with the lollipop couple pictures and me wishing for something more – the scene where I decide to go and fight for something elusive – something worth fighting for – I think I am taking all these scenes to heart too much.

We had to re-take one running scene but it is just Shin Hye and me.  We are standing waiting on the crew to finish setting up.  A few fans approach and we sign autographs before the guards put up barriers.  Too bad about the barriers but at least we can wave at our fans.

She is looking at me with the sunlight shining down and it looks like the rays are shining just on her.  How cute she is – I’ve never seen a woman that can be cute and beautiful at the same time.  The actresses I know all wear a lot of make-up and work hard to make it seem like they don’t have any make-up on but she really doesn’t have any on and she is beautiful. 

She’s looking at me with a puzzled look.  I ask her what? It seems she had asked a question but my mind was not concentrating on words – I was concentrating on her face.  I cleared my throat and say, “Have lunch with me.”

She opens to say something and then closes it.  She is looking at me again – seriously looking at me – she looks as if she has made her mind up and says, “OK, but only if you let me buy to reciprocate for all the kindness you have shown me while we were in California.  OK?”

She actually put her hand through my arm as we were walking down the street toward a small café one of the American crew recommended.  No one recognized us and we were in a rather isolated corner so we were able to talk while sharing funny and sad stories with each other.  We talked a little about our families and Shin Hye told me her Eomma was one of my biggest fans – I made a mental note to send a present to her Eomma when we returned to Korea.  Then she told me her real Eomma was dead but the family that she lived with during her Korean years – well she called her Eomma.  That part is a puzzle because I don’t know exactly what she means by her Korean years.  Does she live somewhere else too?  This information is another tidbit to pull out and examine later when I am back in Seoul.  All in all, it was an enjoyable afternoon although I did get a feeling she might be trying to tell me we can only do this because we are far from home and no one recognizes us.  I know I want this again. 

Our farewell to LA dinner party is tonight.  Ha! Min Hyuk is not here – Min Ho 1 Min Hyuk 0 – my mind has gone crazy lately and I have these fantasies that I shouldn’t encourage.  I really shouldn’t but I can’t get this girl out of my brain – and my dreams. 

Most of the cast and crew have returned to Seoul.  PD Kang had a meeting with representatives of the two companies co-producing Heirs/Inheritors, Hwa & Dam Pictures and DramaFever.  PD Kang told Shin Hye and me to go sightseeing if we wanted, go shopping or just rest because our flight home was tomorrow.  At least I get to fly home on the same plane as she does.  I am in the seat next to her and she didn’t say anything about it.  I figured she would say she wasn’t sitting next to me for 15 hours but not a word.  I suppose that doesn’t mean she will actually talk to me though.  If she doesn’t or acts like she doesn’t want to sit next to me I will pester her all the way back to Seoul. 

I am quite happy right now.  I have been having the most fun with Shin Hye on the flight.  She is an amazing woman and knows about a lot of things.  She is smarter than I realized.  I asked her a lot of questions and she knew the answers, in fact, she knew things that I had no idea about or had only read about or seen on TV.  I figured she was smart but not as smart as I have a feeling she is – I ask her how she knew all that electronic information and she said she had always been interested in electrical engineering and its applications within the electronic communications field.  See, smart huh?  She was talking to me when I was teasing her about something trivial and she actually said, “Min Ho Oppa!”  I am very happy.  She didn’t even notice she said it that way and I don’t want her to stop calling me Oppa.  She is y as hell too when she pouts her lips up and says, “Oppa” – this little girl is something that is for sure. 

There are a lot of fans and media at the airport when we land but because we are coming back from a film site and because we are with PD Kang no one is upset that Shin Hye and I are together.  I have never gotten away with this sort of thing before and I like this feeling of arriving back home with her.  She is tired and I can tell it but I am exuberantly excited.  I want to touch her but all I can do is smile like a fool.  We have to go our separate ways and I don’t want to but her parting words to me were, “I will see you Oppa at the next script reading.  Bye Oppa.”  I am very happy.  As soon as I am in the van I check the entertainment news and Dispatch has already uploaded pictures of our walk through the airport.  Yep, just as I suspected I look like a grinning idiot. 

My driver hands me a large brown manila envelope and told me the agency had delivered it for my eyes only.  I open it and it is the latest report on Alice Park.

There are a few more minor details about her like she is blood type A.  She has an international driver’s license but the picture could be one of 5 different actresses I know.  Ha, it even looks a tiny bit like Shin Hye.  She is too big a public figure so I can mark her off the list.

Apparently she is in Seoul right now because she signed a receipt for a package at one of the mail delivery companies.  My guy is trying to secure a copy of the receipt to see if they can match her signature with any known actress’ signatures since we are following that line of thought.  The real news is she will be attending a function sponsored by my company.  Now that is interesting; I think I will attend this time.  Ah yes, perhaps tomorrow I will get to meet you face-to-face Alice Park.