For the past few days in school, Ting Yi and I have had to separate business and personal affairs, so we couldn’t act like a couple in school. On Wednesday, after my science class with 205, it would be Ting Yi’s turn to teach 205 in Literature. We would just smile at each other and greet each other. 205 has been bugging the both of us during our classes today whether we were dating but Ting Yi and I made a promise not to tell the class yet about our relationship. We knew they would be nosy about it and we would not get anywhere teaching in class while they would be non-stop bugging Ting Yi and I with questions so it was best to just decline it now and avoid trouble now and in the possible future. I have also been avoiding Yi Xing and I’ve totally stopped talking to him. He was just an assistant and a betrayer to me now.

//Yi Xing’s POV// It has been a few days since our fight and Joon Myun has been ignoring me and has refused to talk to me. I’m really sad that he has lost all possible trust in me, but I really don’t know how to earn back the trust. He isn’t angry at me anymore but he’s giving me the cold shoulder. I can’t blame him for being mad at me. It really was sent from my email but –

I walked into his room, planning to wake him up but he looked really sick! I quickly touched his forehead and it was burning hot! He was coughing and then sneezing, his nose was red from all the nose blowing and his lips were also slightly pale. I immediately ran to get him water and a cold towel. I said, “Here Joon Myun, drink some water.” He tried to get up but he was too weak to even get up from his bed so I helped him up and he gulped the water down. He collapsed back on the bed and closed his eyes. I placed the cold towel on his forehead and I went to get the thermometer. Once I measured his temperature, the thermometer showed: 39 degrees Celsius

That’s a high fever, no wonder he’s so weak! I cleared up the tissues on the floor and sprayed some anti-bacterial disinfectant in the air. I the air purifier and he said, “Thank you, Yi Xing. *coughs* I’m just a little sick, I just need some rest.” He smiled weakly at me and I said, “You are not just a little sick, okay? Look, I don’t care whether you think I’m the spy or not. I’m not gonna start a fight about that but stop pretending you’re fine, you’re NOT. You have a 39 degree Celsius high fever, you’re coughing, sneezing, you’re more pale than usual! You are seriously sick, now I need to get you to the doctor’s clinic as soon as possible. They only open at 8 am though so I shall cook you some porridge first and chicken soup.

I went to my apartment and took out the necessary ingredients, I started to cook the porridge while I prepared for the chicken soup. Suddenly I got a call from one of my dance seniors.

“Hello? Yes, senior. I didn’t forget our flight is at 10 am, I have to be at the airport by around 8 am, right? And yes, I have packed everything, thanks for the concern! I’ll see you soon at the airport.”

I had totally forgotten. Whoops.

It was now 6:30 am and I would finish cooking by 7 am. It’ll take about 15 minutes to head to the airport but I still have to shower and prepare myself. I could probably eat at the airport but I can’t leave Joon Myun by myself and he’s so sick, he can barely move! And who’s gonna send him to the doctor’s clinic at 8 am? Oh, I know! Ting Yi can help me, I should call her. I took out my phone and called Ting Yi.

//Ting Yi’s POV// I was just about to go down and wait for Joon Myun and Yi Xing to come and pick me up to go to school together when Yi Xing called me.

Yi Xing: Hello, Ting Yi? This is Yi Xing, Joon Myun’s assistant. Do you mind coming over to Joon Myun’s apartment? Joon Myun is really sick and I would love to take care of him, but I have to rush to the airport in about an hour’s time for my dance competition.

Joon Myun is sick?! Oh my goodness, is he OKAY???

I replied, “Yeah, I’ll come over now. Bye.” I quickly hung up and put away my bag for school and just brought my handbag with my phone and wallet. I almost ran to his apartment and Yi Xing opened the door for me and I ran into his apartment. I was worried for Joon Myun and he can’t be on his deathbed already right? He doesn’t have any cancer or some deadly disease that I don’t know of right? I said anxiously, “How is Joon Myun?”

Yi Xing was in the kitchen and he was boiling some soup for him while placing the various ingredients in the pot. He said, “Joon Myun has a 39 degree Celsius fever, he is sneezing and coughing. He hasn’t vomited yet but let’s pray that doesn’t happen too.” I nodded and went into Joon Myun’s bedroom to see him. He was so weak, like a little baby lying on the bed! He wasn’t moving a lot but there was a few soft moans and groans, loud coughs and sneezes could be heard as well. Poor Joon Myun…

“Hi Joon Myun… I heard you were sick, after Yi Xing gives me your food, he has to go to the airport. I’ll be taking care of you and I’ll take you to the doctor’s clinic when it opens in about an hour’s time.” He raised his head and looked up at me. He said, “Oh hi Ting Yi, don’t you have to go to school today?” I replied, “It’s okay, I’m not teaching today and it’s not like I’m gonna leave you here by yourself when you’re sick! I’ll just take leave today.” I shrugged and he said, “You gotta go to school! *coughs* I don’t need you to take care of me, I’m fine! I just have a bit of a -- *sneezes*

I folded my arms and raised my eyebrows, saying, “Oh really? You look weak and sick. You clearly have a flu, a cough and you even a have high fever! Have you looked into a mirror recently? Pale lips and pale face, with a nose that has gotten red from all that sneezing. You are seriously sick and you need someone to take care of you whether you like it or not! I’m pretty sure you can’t take of yourself…”

Joon Myun said, “But what if I spread it you? You’ll get sick too.”

“I won’t! Your virus won’t spread to me because my immune system is so strong that the virus can’t even handle it!!”

Joon Myun laughed, then coughed, then sneezed. He groaned again before collapsing on his pillow. He was really sick and as his girlfriend, I should take care of him! Yi Xing brought in his porridge and his chicken soup for Joon Myun to eat. I placed the tray of food on his bedside table and said to Yi Xing, “Thanks for cooking this for him, you should probably start preparing to go to the airport now, or you’ll be late! Bye!!” He smiled at me and said goodbye to Joon Myun and I. Joon Myun barely did a wave at Yi Xing and he was frowning. I could tell he was quite sad that he was sick. He said, “Gosh, I hate being so sick. The feeling and I have to eat medicine but, I have you with me. You make it all better, you can be my doctor.” I blushed and said, “Don’t get all cheesy, Joon Myun… You’re giving me the butterflies. And you’re just making that cheesy joke as an excuse to not go to the doctor’s clinic.” He was sweet with his cheesiness but I could see right through him! He chuckled and said, “You know me so well, Ting Yi. I’ll go to the doctor’s clinic with you once I finish the porridge and the soup, okay?” I smiled at him and replied, “Alright then, let me feed you the porridge!”

I helped him to sit up and rested his head on the headboard of the bed. I took the spoon and the bowl with the porridge in it and scooped some porridge for Joon Myun. I blew the porridge in the spoon and placed the spoon near his mouth. He was a little shy to do it and was reluctant and hesitant to let me feed him but he eventually opened his mouth and let me feed him. After I finished feeding him the porridge and the soup, it was 15 minutes before 8 am and I chose a few clothes for Joon Myun to wear. He took the clothes and I took the tray of the empty bowls to wash it in the sink. As I turned around to close the door, Joon Myun had taken off his shirt and I couldn’t help but stare at him and his body. Joon Myun was shirtless and his body was… very nice to look at. There wasn’t any six-pack but it was nice and flat… I swear I could feel my face burning!! 

If only he wasn’t sick… AISH OMG NO dirty-minded thoughts have to go away, he is sick and I can’t… NO!!! I’m too young to do it, I should just get out now before I see anything else that I shouldn’t see… I closed the door silently and went to the sink to wash the dishes, and also to wash the dirty-minded thoughts out of my head.

At 7:55 am, we started to walk to the clinic and promptly at 8 am, we arrived and the nurse working at the clinic had just opened the clinic. We were the first ones to register with the nurse and went to see the doctor almost immediately after we registered. Joon Myun took a seat across the doctor’s table and I stood next to him, too anxious and fidgety to sit down. I helped Joon Myun explain his condition to the doctor and he did the necessary checks before saying, “Joon Myun, you do have a high fever with the symptoms of a flu and cough. You may start experiencing a sore throat soon but I will give you the necessary medicine to cure your fever. Remember to rest and drink lots of water.” He then started scribbling down the types of medicine Joon Myun needed and turned to me and said, “Thank you for bringing him here, do continue to take care of your boyfriend until he recovers fully. It might take 2 to 3 days for him to recover.”

I nod at the doctor and I turn to look at Joon Myun. He was smiling at me and mouthed the words: ‘Thank you.’ And he showed me a heart sign while mouthing the words ‘I love you’.  The doctor then left the room to collect something from the nurse and we were left in the room alone.

I smiled at him and said, “I love you too, Joon Myun.” I leaned in to kiss his cheek but he moved away from and shook his head. I rolled my eyes and moved in swiftly to kiss his lips instead. He immediately blushed and gave me a shy smile. I giggled at his shyness that was so cute.

The doctor entered his office again and told us that the nurse had prepared all the necessary medicine and has drawn up the bill. We went outside to the counter and Joon Myun paid for his own medicine. I took him home and he took his medicine. He looked at the medicine, looking quite hesitant to swallow the pills. I asked him, “Do you hate taking pills?”

He replied, “I don’t hate taking pills, I’m scared of them. My uncle died because of an overdose of pills. He used to live with my father and he didn’t have a family. He kept working and slaving for the company, he kept taking anti-sleeping pills so that he didn’t have to sleep. But once my grandfather decided to hand the company over to my father instead of my uncle, he got so angry. His anger then became depression and he tried to commit suicide by taking pills. I remember that day, my father told me to fetch my uncle from his room and then, I saw him swallow god knows how many pills and well, he died… In front of my eyes. It was the saddest thing and the most traumatic thing I have ever seen in my life.”

He looked down at the floor and avoided my eyes, I said, “Joon Myun, I know you have a trauma for pills and you’re scared. What happened to your uncle, has nothing to do with you and it won’t ever happen to you. It’s just 3 small pills, I’m here and I’ll be with you all the way.” I took the pills and I placed them on his hand. I smiled at him and said, “You can do this Joon Myun.” He slowly raised his head and looked at me. And then he looked down at the pills in his hand. He said, “I won’t be scared anymore, I’ll take baby steps. One pill at a time, no problem.” I handed him the cup of water and he swallowed the first pill, drinking some water. Then he repeated it another two more times without a problem. I was proud of him and he heaved a heavy sigh. He said quietly, “I did it.”

After Joon Myun took his pills, I decided to watch a movie with him to calm him down and distract him from the sickness. I asked Joon Myun, “What movie do you wanna watch? A comedy? An action movie?” He just shrugged and said, “Anything’s fine.” I nodded and decided on a comedy. But then, I stopped and thought.

If it’s a comedy, then he’ll laugh and he might cough and sneeze again!

But if it’s an action, would he even like action movies? He doesn’t seem like the type to like action movies...

Oh! Maybe a horror movie, but what if he gets scared? Then, he’ll scream and he might cough and sneeze, he might get even paler, who knows?!

Jeez! I can’t do this, I can’t do that, I’d rather watch Harry Potter with Joon Myun! Oh wait… that sounds like a pretty good idea! We’re never too young to watch Harry Potter!!!

I told Joon Myun to wait for me while I got the DVD from my apartment and soon, we sat on the couch together and watched the movie. Joon Myun wanted to watch the first one so of course, I agreed to watch it. I prepared a bottle of warm honey water for Joon Myun and we watched the whole movie without falling asleep. I was surprised that Joon Myun hadn’t already fallen asleep by the Sorting Hat part because Yi Fan would always sleep around that part as well. Instead, he was paying attention to the movie and he seemed to have this smile plastered on his face that I have never taken notice of. Now thinking of it, his smiles are usually… forced. It is somewhat forced out of him and I can’t understand how to fake a smile! When I’m sad, I frown; when I’m happy, I smile. I never thought of the underlying meaning behind his expressions. Maybe I should start observing him more…

After the movie ended, Joon Myun took a rest while I cooked him lunch. I couldn’t cook as amazingly as Yi Xing could, but I tried my best to cook some food that was nice.

Once I finished cooking, I set the table and placed the food on the table. I quickly went to Joon Myun’s room to wake him up for lunch. I checked his temperature and it was still quite hot but it was going down a bit. I could see he was shivering under the covers even though the air-conditioner wasn’t even ! I used a cold and wet towel to wipe his forehead and said, “Joon Myun, stay still! We have to eat lunch soon.” He stopped moving so I could wipe his forehead quicker. His whole body was burning hot, yet he was so cold. I rarely get sick now that I was an adult. My father said I had a weak immune system when I was a baby and he almost lost me when I had a high fever.

When we finished eating, Joon Myun was feeling bored but he was tire and weak as well so he couldn’t do much. I saw him reading a book in his room and I came into his bedroom. He turned to smile at me and turned again to read his book. I asked, “Hey, what book are you reading?” I sat on his bed and peered over his shoulder to look at what he was reading. He showed me the book cover and I said, “Oh! ‘A Little Princess’. I’ve read that before, it’s quite nice to read but it’s also quite sad to read. Which part are you at?”

He said, “I’m at the part when she finds out about the diamond mines being a total fail. It’s really sad that she had to lose her fortune, and more importantly, her father.” I nodded and said, “How about I read the story out for you, it’s boring to just read a book like that!” He smiled at me and nodded, handing the book to me, pointing where he last left out. He leans on my shoulder as I read out the story to him. I never got tired of reading aloud stories and I loved to do that, my mother used to tell me stories from this book she had when I was kid. Sometimes, she would re-enact scenes and give her own exaggerated expression and her own opinion about that certain scene with some sass and her diva-like personality.

“This Red Riding Hood is really not smart! Seriously, how can you not know that the wolf isn’t your grandmother?! Just walk away, walk away girl!”

Mommy was telling the Red Riding Hood story and I was laughing because she was just… funny! Mommy being the Mommy she is! She says she has this ‘diva package’, I wonder what’s that?

“You know why I love Cinderella 3 the most? Because Cinderella doesn’t get her Prince Charming, that’s the reality but obviously, it will have the classic happy ever after ending again like all the other ones… See Ting Yi, don't ever be like Cinderella, okay?!”

I’ll just be like you then, Mommy….

I smiled at the memories as I was reading the story out loud and when I read the part when Ms Minchin was bullying/mistreating Sara, I couldn’t help but voice out my opinions too.

“Aw heck no!!! She can’t do that to you, Sara! That’s terrible, am I right Joon Myun?” I turned to look at Joon Myun, expecting an answer but he was fast asleep. His face looked angelic and at peace when he slept… He was handsome, I’m glad to have him as my boyfriend. He was pretty perfect in my eyes, I couldn’t really think of any flaws. Well maybe except the fact of the smiles and the expressions, I still need to figure that out. I saw a bookmark placed by the side of his pillow and took it to bookmark the page. The bookmark was … me. It was that very day he confessed to me and that very day I had my first kiss. But I wonder how he got this picture of mine printed out… It was a picture of me during our dinner date, smiling and posing at the same time. It was so cute and sweet of him to have it printed out and made it a bookmark. I placed his head gently and carefully on the pillow and placed the book back on the shelf as quietly as possible. I looked at him again before closing the door. I went to the bathroom and washed the towel with cold water, placing it back in my basin. I then went to the kitchen to place ice cubes in the basin and make another batch of honey water for Joon Myun. It was really tiring to take care of someone! But it was Joon Myun, so it was worth it, no matter how tired I get.

EXO had just released their new album, called, ‘MAMA’, and I decided to play the whole album over and over again to lift my spirits. Once I finished making the batch of honey water, I brought the water bottle and basin to Joon Myun’s room. When I entered Joon Myun’s room, he was twisting and turning in his bed. I quickly placed the things down and went to his side immediately.

“Appa, no! Stop, I-I will be a be-better son. I’ll … do you proud and bring honor to the family!”

“I know I have shamed this family, just stop caning me!”

“Please don’t cane me, don’t beat me. It hurts, appa!”

“Please, I beg of you appa, don’t hit umma! She didn’t do anything wrong, cane me instead, hit me instead! Please… stop!”

I saw tears rolling down his eyes and his eyes were closed tight, turning even more vigorously on the bed. I thought he had a perfect family, I thought he had good, amazing parents…

“Why… why… why…” He started sniffling as more tears flowed down.

“Why won’t you let me become a singer?”

So that’s why he became a teacher instead. But… did he lie to me about his parents?

“I hate my family, I hate this life, I hate everything. I want to die, Changmin…”

Who is this ‘Changmin’? Why did he hate his life? I was very confused but I kept listening.

“I am nothing to them, they treat me like their puppet…”

This time, his voice changed from anger and aggressive to a somewhat sadder tone and he sounded so submissive and so ready to give in. It was like he was helpless and so weak, that he couldn’t do anything anymore. Okay, that was enough! I need to wake him up, now.

I started shaking him and shouted, “Joon Myun, WAKE UP!!” After a few continuous tries, he finally woke up. His eyes opened and his entire body was shaking, he had cold sweat on his forehead while tears continued to drop. He quickly covered his face and wiped away his tears, he curled up in a ball and buried his head between his knees.

I asked, “Joon Myun, what happened? It was just a nightmare, right?”

Suddenly, he sobbed for a while and said, “No, it was a flashback of memories. All my traumatic experiences coming back to me, one by one. When I had tried so hard to hide them from you, to hide them everyone. My past is nothing you would expect. Seeing my uncle die was only the tip of the iceberg.”

I was shocked. I was speechless. How could he lie to me? Doesn’t he trust me?

He continued and said, “I’m sorry I lied, I’m so sorry Ting Yi! I just wanted to protect you from the truth…” He cried even louder and somehow, all my anger that had previously boiled up in me; somehow, the thoughts of slapping him in the face for lying to me; somehow, the thoughts of leaving him had all disappeared. Seeing Joon Myun like this, crying and apologizing to me, in this vulnerable state that I have never seen before. He was always strong and I have never really seen him cry before. Now, I saw him so vulnerable, all his shields were completely down. It wasn’t pity for Joon Myun that made me stay, it was love. I love him so much, I can’t just leave him alone in this state! I can’t just think about myself, if I leave now, Joon Myun might just do... Who knows what! I should stay by his side and comfort him. It’s time to put aside my feelings and be there for him because I love him.

I immediately hugged him and started to comfort him, wiping his tears away.

It’s my turn to take this burden, let me take this burden away from you right now, at least for a second, a minute, an hour, a day, a month, or even a year. Maybe even forever. Because that it is how much I love you, Kim Joon Myun. 

A.N: Wow... this chapter was just a lot of mixed feelings and ... asdfghjkl. Yep, that's good vocabulary right there. LOL. Okay, this chapter was extra long and I hope it was good! :) It was 8 pages on Microsoft Word and I hope you like the pictures (and the poster too! ^^) I'll be going to London for 10 days so I can't update this story for a while and plus, I'll be going back to school soon after I come back from London. :'( But I will definitely be writing on the plane and whenever I can so I can easily just type it out and edit when I come back. This chapter was pretty intense but what do you think about this chapter? Please comment below and maybe I can reply to you guys before I go on the plane tonight! Please wait patiently for the next chapter, it will be a while. 

1. Do you like the 'twist' and the decision Ting Yi made to stay with Joon Myun? How do you think these bottled up feelings and burden that Ting Yi tries to carry will cause? 

2. What would you have done if you were Ting Yi?

3. Thinking from Joon Myun's POV (even though this story was mostly in Ting Yi's POV), would you pity him or be pissed at him? 

I don't know what happened today, my questions are terrible! D: But seriously, share your thoughts and feelings in the comments below. Every comment makes my day and you add a karma point, so... yeah! ^^ Until next time, perhaps a long time, see you (soon?) Thank you for reading this chapter and you can subscribe to this story if you want to. :)