Yoseob POV’s

Everyday felt like torture to me. I remember everything, I learn everything, and I understand everything. The warm and gentle touch I craved for was from someone different, the other Junhyung. I knew I was going crazy with all mix-up memory in my and everyday makes me sick. I let Junhyung do me every night because I knew I would never win against Junhyung, so I just shut my eyes and let pain take over my body. At least in my dream, I could be free from any pain.

“Yoseob.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry..” One day, Junhyung came to me. His hand wrapped around my body in one tight hug as Junhyung cries on my shoulder, whispering the same words over and over again like a broken machine. There were too many horrible thing he did to me and for him to apalogize like this kind of make me a little bit confused.

“For what?” I knew what Junhyung did to me were terrible and caused a great pain every night, but still-this man-was still someone I used to love before..

“For everything.. For hurting you, forcing you, everything. I’m sorry.. I guess after all this time I still can’t forget Hyunseung. I thought I love you Yoseob, I really do but as time passed by you slowly turned into Hyunseung. Whenever I see you, I see him instead and whenever I have with you, I see Hyunseung instead. I thought I always love you but-but no matter how hard I try, Hyunseung will never leave. I’m sorry.. I’m really sorry Yoseob..” I didn’t know what to do. I should hate this man but at the same time, this man was once a part of my life before. This man was the one introduce love to me and the one who made me know what happiness felt like. Even though everything went messy in the end, my heart still longing for him until that day. I still remember why I was crazy enough to jumped out that day. The answer was simple though, I had enough of this life. I am tired of living like this and I wanted everything to end.   

“I forgive you.. Just-please don’t hurt me again..” I hug the crying man back and pushed my body closer to his body.

“Thank you.. Thank you Yoseob..” That night, for the first time I saw the other side of Yong Junhyung, he passed out in my arms still with fresh tears from his eyes. Days passed by until that day came. I were in the middle of drying my hair when gun shot can be heard from outside my room along with screams. I saw Junhyung was face to face with the love of his life, Jang Hyunseung with gun pointed to him. I looked at the faces of the group before I noticed one familiar face. Yoon Doojoon, the fake ‘Junhyung’ who took benefit of my miserable state. The one person who broke my mind and sanity into pieces. However, I broke my glare when he heard gun shot and to my horror, Junhyung was shooting his gun at Hyunseung madly.

 “Jun.. That’s enough..” I still felt angry to the man known as Yoon Doojoon but at the same time I couldn’t let Junhyung killed Hyunseung.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay in the room? What are you doing here?” I didn’t recall you told me to stay in my room you jerk, I thought. However, this time I didn’t have a time to bickering with Junhyung because I seriously didn’t need all of this right now. I have to get them out of here before Jun going crazy again. When it comes to Hyunseung, Junhung could be unpredictable at times. But, at the same time, I want to talked to him-the one person who lied to me. However, I could feel this invisible strain that held me or-

“Out. Get out of here. Or else-” Or else-I will snapped out, that was what I thought but the moment I laid my eyes on Yoon Doojoon. I could felt my anger bubbling up again. How dare this person lied to me?!

“Say.. Is it fun?” Answer me.

“F-Fun?  W-What do you m-mean?”

“Is it fun playing with a broken-hearted man with amnesia?”

“Of course not.”

“Why?” Tell me.. I’m so close to the line that I never to crossed for all my life, if I had to cross that line maybe I can never forgive myself.

“T-There no reason. I-I just-I don’t know okay!! I don’t even know why I did this for someone I met like three times before. W-When I saved you from that cliff, I just know there’s something in you that pulled me in. A-And then, I met you again and you jumped from you own window. You lost your memories and started calling me with other man’s name. But, in just a month you just fascinated me in every way possible and make me fell in hard with you. Please.  Yoseob.. Please.. I beg you.. Don’t be like this.. Don’t be like that person..” How could you say that to me? You didn’t know what I feel for you so don’t say something like ‘love’ so easily like that to me. I could feel honesty from his words and my heart strangely aching with unspeakable pain. What’s happening to me? It was like my mind screaming his name in hate but my heart screaming his name so desperately. Could it be-no, you shouldn’t love me and I shouldn’t do the same thing.

“Goodbye..” I could see sadness in your eyes, why? Why? Why’d you go that far for someone like me? You should be happy right? You should hate me, you should distest me, you should-shouldn’t look at me with those eyes.. Those eyes, looking for hope and longing for love.. If only-If only you didn’t lie to me, where will we be right now? There were so many options to choose from the beginning but why you choose to lie to me? I would be okay if you pushed me away or screamed to me that you’re not ‘him’, but why’d you lie to me? T-To someone who forgot everything, to someone who only see gray in his life, t-to someone who tired of holding empty wishes. It would be better if you just let me die that day, release me from this chain and free me from this pain. Then again, I bet it was fun watching me like an idiot, thinking you were Junhyung, right? I bet you were laughing behind my back when I believed in all your lies, right? There was no way I can trust you again after this, right? Right? Ev

“W-Why? I-I trust y-you.. Why?” I didn’t know what happen with