Ari’s POV

Ji had to leave 2 days after what I now called ‘the kiss’. I knew that my doctor wanted to see me, but I refused to get another ‘I’m sorry but I have some bad news’ type of conversation, when instead I could be happy with Ji. Avoiding the problem was my game plan.

We visited the main city, walked around, even shopped (he made me do it!), and generally had a good time. He made me feel alive, he made me feel healthy.

Every day I would wake up, and I wouldn’t feel bad, I would feel happy. And then when I would see him, and he would smile at me and take my hand, I would feel even better. I started to feel those small butterflies in my stomach, you know those little things that make you stop and giggle? When we would walk down the street, and he would start excitedly telling me about a new song or concept, I would catch myself wondering if it was alright to feel those butterflies.

I mean we could skip the part about him not feeling the same way, he probably just felt sorry for me, but was it alright for me to feel this way? I was dying, are dying people allowed to love or should we just give up? I mean I knew how it would end, so should I even try? Or was I a lost cause?

We hadn’t kissed after that one kiss, which further cemented my feeling that he didn’t feel the same way I felt about him. As his stay in my country was coming to an end, I started wondering if I would ever see him again.

“Come on Ji, I’ll go to the airport with you.” I said, for the 100^th time, looking at him with pleading eyes.

“No, your sister said that your immune system is too weak, and I don’t want you dying 2 days after I leave.” He said, also for the 100^th time.

“I won’t die.” I said, but in reality I wanted to ask Would you still care? I was being irrational, of course I knew it, but life had ed me over so many times that Ji was just too good to be true.

“Exactly. So you stay here.” He smirked, knowing that he had already won. It was scary how well that man knew me by now. Was I so simple that 3 days were enough, or was he just good at reading people?

“Oh don’t you dare give me that smug smile. Okay so no airport for me, do I at least get a hug?” I said, laughing and trying to hold back tears. I was scared of what I would do after he left. I was scared of falling back into the routine of doing nothing and being sad.

“No.” He said simply, but I saw a devilish glint in his eyes.

“No?” What was up with him? He wouldn’t even hu-

Our lips crashed together, and my eyes instantly closed. Without a second of hesitation I opened my mouth, letting his tongue dart in. The kiss was soft and gentle, and he held me in his arms like I was as fragile as a flower, like I meant something to him.

I had this urge to just hold him forever, knowing that I would be happy in his arms.

The kiss reduced to soft pecks, until he finally hugged me, taking a deep breath, and kissing gently my cheek.

“Don’t you dare die, okay?” He said, still holding me tightly.

“Okay…I’ll try.” I said, not exactly saying what he wanted to hear, but I never gave promises that I couldn’t hold.

“You better. I’ll see you soon.” And with a last gentle kiss he walked out of the apartment, leaving me alone.

Jiyong’s POV

It was hard for me to leave that apartment. I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something bad would happen. I had this constant need to be with her, to protect her. I was being irrational, and I knew it, but still. I just didn’t want to leave her alone. After she listened to that message from her doctor I saw fear cross her face. Of course she hid it well…but I saw that she was scared of what he would say next. And I also knew that the reason she didn’t want to visit him while I was still there was that she didn’t want me to see her that vulnerable. No matter how much she tried, I saw that she still cared, that she still wanted to live. And the possibility of her doctor telling her more bad news just crushed her more.

And all that made me hate myself when I closed those doors, leaving her alone in the apartment.

Ari’s POV

I bet you were expecting that I woke up the next morning feeling ty, right? Well, I still felt normal, but just a tad bit less excited about the day. First, Ji was gone, and second, I was visiting my doctor. Today of all days, it just had to rain.

My mom drove me to my doctors, but respecting my wishes, stayed out of the room. I told her that I didn’t want her to be in the room with me whenever I would talk to my doctor, after the second year of my cancer when I had to watch her break down crying when the doctor said I would probably die in 2 years. Rust me, that wasn’t fun.

Since that day I went to the doctor alone. I refused to watch my mom hurt that much.

I walked into his office, feeling a bit sick. I was just nervous, but I refused to admit I was scared of what he would tell me.

He shook my hand, smiling at me, and I knew that the news would be bad. He had that kind of sorry smile. The same smile he gave me and my mother a year ago when he said I would die in the next 2 years, the same smile he gave me when he said that the new treatment didn’t work, and the same smile he gave me when my cancer spread.

 So I think it was obvious why my day went from ty to definitely ty at that moment. 

“Please sit down, Miss Horvat.” He said, gently, and I sat into the cold chair, suddenly wondering how many tears this chair has seen. I was pretty sure most of those tears were sad tears, not happy ones.

I also caught myself wishing that I went with Ji to SK, I could have been having fun right now, but instead I was sitting in this uncomfortable and cold chair.

“Good or bad news?” The doctor asked and I sadly smiled and replied:

“You already know doctor.”

He nodded and started with the bad news first.

“We did a series of tests as you know, to see if the chemotherapy is doing its job.” He paused, seeing my face transform because I already knew what he would say next.

“Let me guess, it has stopped working.” I said, hiding the bitterness in my voice.

“Sadly, yes. It didn’t make your cancer any smaller. It is slowing down the rate of its growth, but for the cost of destroying your whole organism. Me and my colleagues decided that because of that we will take you off the chemotherapy.”

So my last hope has just jumped out of the window. Wonderful.

“We think that it would be better for you to live what little time you have without all the nausea and weakness the chemotherapy gave you.” I nodded, fighting the urge to run out of the room crying.

“But, we do have some good news. A new treatment has been discovered, and since you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain, we thought you would maybe like to try it.” Of course, I was always a good guinea pig. And I had nothing to lose?

Every new treatment destroyed me when it didn’t work. And I would always have to watch my parents suffer with each failure, not to mention those treatment were expensive as hell.

“I doubt it. You can ask my mother, but I don’t think I will be doing any new treatments. Thank you for your time.” I said, and left the room, that now seemed like Hell, as soon as possible.

I saw my mother waiting in the hallway, and approached her, gently putting my hand on her shoulder.

“I’ll walk home, okay?”

“But, sweetie, it is cold outside, and your immune system…” I cut her off, gently smiling.

“It doesn’t matter anymore mom.” And she knew what I meant.

“It is bad, ha?” She asked, her eyes getting watery.

“Yes…it is. See you home…love you.” I turned around quickly, not wanting to see her tears.

I exited the hospital wishing that I could die already. Why did I have to make my family suffer any more then what they had already suffered?

As I walked by a bridge I got this crazy idea, and I wondered how it would feel to jump, to fly.

Before those ideas got anymore meaning, my phone rang. It was Ji.

“Hey, how did it go?” But I couldn’t tell him. Instead I acted as a coward. I hung up, and approached the ledge, my tears falling into the river below me.

A/N Guys…this was angsty…like a lot. :D This is what studying does to me. :D

Oh and sorry if it is badly written, I haven’t slept in like ages, but I had this urge to write…so yeah, sorry :(

And yes I’m aware Ari is being an emotional wreck….haha, okay anyways, thank you for reading :)

Please comment :)