Bomi’s POV

Days have passed and I’m still here locked up in my room. For the small number of days I’ve been spending here in my room, I have been thinking about a lot of things. I couldn’t go to school and show my face. I was too embarrassed.

And to think that he was already falling for me, I joined that stupid competition to win his heart but instead he won mine and broke it at the same time.

My life was revolving around Luhan but his was revolving around Seohyun.  Just like how the moon revolves around the earth and how the earth revolved around the sun.

From the day I first laid my eyes on Luhan, I felt like my dreams came true. Luhan was the guy I loved for years. I became too obsessed with him that it was no longer LOVE  that I was fighting for. I had been so eager to feel his love that I was already turning into someone I dreaded, an obsessed fangirl.

The sleepless night I’ve been having just thinking about him, the simple words he said to me that made me jump up and down in glee and his smile that’s even brighter than the sun were the only things I thought made me happy.

I embarrassed myself in front of many people just to look good in front of him when all he thought of me was just a pathetic fangirl.  My friends have been telling me to stop everything I’m doing for him. I thought that they were being selfish when in fact they were trying to save me from the pain I’m feeling now. I fought and fought for his love telling everyone that no one could stop me, but someone did, he did. Luhan was my world but for him, I’m just a spec of dirt.

I have been so blind. I kept on focusing about those simple things that I thought made me happy but there were even more things that broke me. He hates me, he doesn’t think of me as anyone who is someone. He could have just told me in a better way but he chose the harsh way. Was that how irritating I am? Was that how obsessed I was?

Here I am in my room letting the pain take over me when in fact it has already been there from the start, the pain that has already been trying to kill me little by little. Unnie told me the reason why Luhan got mad, I know that his anger was supposed to be for Seohyun sunbae but if he really did think of me at least as a “friend” then he wouldn’t scream at me, he wouldn’t embarrass me in front of many people. The things he said was true. Those were probably the words he wanted to say to me but he had been keeping it inside for a long time. He finally reached the tip of his temper and decided to say scream it in my face in the most harsh way. The words he yelled at me woke me up from my dream that was too good to be true.

I know it’s selfish of me to ignore the girls when they’re trying to comfort me but I don’t know what to say yet. That incident for some reason made me mute. I haven’t spoken a word and the only things you could hear that was escaping my mouth were the soft sounds of sniffles.

I didn’t cry anymore after that night. I have cried everything out until I could cry no more. I felt like rotting and dying. This is how much pain I’m feeling right now and worst? We’re not even in a relationship.

I’m acting as if he even cared for me--but he didn’t. As if he loved me but the truth is--it was only me. He only brought my pain and I just realized it now.

After everything he said, I don’t think I can find my way back to the right path. You may think I’m being over dramatic but the feeling of loving someone for years and have them scream at you is just