A/N: I'm sorry guys, I can't update frequently like before, college life is a pain in the . and sadly to inform, as much as I enjoy to write this story, it will have come to end soon. but I still don't know how to ends it since I only follow the feel. so to anyone who is patiently waiting for this story update, leaving such a wonderful coments to motivate me, marking as bookmark, subscribing this story, votes it; I totally appreciate it. so here it comes chapter 10. enjoy - M

Jessica’s POV

I can’t believe she just said that.

How dare she is for giving up on her dream,

because of this,

just because of me.

As cheesy as she did,

It wasn’t a choice.

Of course management won’t agree,

Maybe if we’re rookies, they’ll find a way to get rid of us,

Since we’ve been in this world for over more than 7 years,

They couldn’t just do that to us.

Even if they’re gonna get rid of us,

I can’t let them do that to her.

She is our shining star.

My shining star.

I can’t let them take her down just because this.

Thankfully, or maybe not, we still have options.

When chairman says we can’t meet each other purposely by our choice,

I can see her face turns red.

Of course I did too,

I’m boiling up inside,

Ready to explode,

But I don’t want to make a scene,

Since we still have 9 of us to be take care off.

I know the things that running in through her mind.

She wants to let me go.

But that doesn’t mean we will go back like before,

We still can’t meet with each other outside dorm,

We still can’t interact more than some strangers,

The worst part is,

I can’t face the world if she isn’t mine.

I just couldn’t imagine my life without her,

Since I know how great the taste of life is, after I have her on my side,

Mine.

We are just in the beginning,

I don’t want to let go.

She doesn’t either.

I want to tell her before the sun goes dark,

Before she couldn’t see what she has,

How to hold my heart.

I want to pouring in my soul, my mind, my heart,

Only for her.

A flash thought crossing my mind,

Why did I choose to move out from dorm before?

If only I didn’t, we still can see each other every day,

Without worrying getting caught by some crazy paparazzi again.

But I remember,

I decided to move out because it hurts to see her ignoring me,

It hurts to look at her but wasn’t being able to touch her,

At least to catch a glimpse of her sight looking at mine.

After coming to terms where she was needed is time to accept it,

I just can’t imagine how painful it is for her too.

Denying what’s been there all the way.

Members probably know that she and I wasn’t that close anymore,

We are two eldest members on group.

We used to take care of each other well.

But members didn’t bring it up,

Since when they were asking us,

All we said is “we are fine.”

“nothing’s wrong.”

And I just have to summarize it if we weren’t talk frequently as before,

Because we have different schedule,

So everyone stop to questioning.

It hurts though.

She seems guilty when I said it.

Oh right,

She easily feels guilty.

She never say it,

Actually, she rarely talk with us,

Members.

I reach my phone, just to text her,

I bet she really feels guilty right now.

That’s the last thing I want to her to think.

Thankfully, she replied it right away,

“thank you, off the record, I am still sorry, but I’m not sorry to fall in love with you, and the date, and the kiss. have a great day with today’s photo shoot! Love X, TY. P.s. yes mom, I will.”

And I’m swooned over the moon.

This kid.

She doesn’t know if I really fall head over heels for her.

Just the thought of her face make my heart pounding.

And my phone decide to buzzed,

Fany is calling.

“hello.”

“Jessi, how are you? Are you alright?.”

and silence.

I don’t know how much I have to tell her.

“it’s me, you can tell me, I know what’s going on, tae was having a little break down mental before.”

I can use a friend.

“can you pick me up at noon?.” I said.

“yes, of course.”

“does anyone else know?.” Curiosity tickled me.

“only me and sunny, you don’t want us to find out, do you?.”

Her voice sounds it if she was hurt.

I feel really bad.

“of course we want to tell you, we just don’t have the right time, and I really am sorry if you had to find out like this.”

She seems to understand the situation.

I can picture her nodding with her phone on ear.

“do you want the other to find out?,” because fany always that bluntly.

I just let my breath out,

And feel happy all of sudden.

Of course I want to tell them,

I want to tell them if they don’t have to worry about us again.

I want them to feel how happy I am too.

I want to show them if kim taeyeon is mine.

“jessi?.”

“no, fany-ah, of course I want to tell you guys, I want to tell you soon, that’s why I’m so sorry you need to find out like this. I’m sorry, ok?”

“I’ll forgive you if you’re giving me the details.”

And I chuckled,

“are you trying to threaten me right now?.”

And she lets her laugh out.

“it’s worth a shot, though,” she said with her playful voice.

Fany and sunny already knows.

We still have another five to go.

“let’s have a fresh air, jessi.”

“yeah, I’ll see you in 5 hours, I’ll text you the place.”

-----

When a pink car comes closer to my sight,

I raised my hand and give my best smile

But then I spot the other 2 heads.

Fany shots her sorry looks when I get in,

I just raised my eyebrow,

Questioning why she brings soo and yuri.

“sica!.” Soo yelled as she pulled me closer to her seat.

Fany is driving, and yuri sits beside her.

So here I am, sitting with soo.

She shots me her suspicious and seductive look,

Did I just say seductive?

“I thought we will have lunch, and “we” I mean was as in fany and me?.”

I asked Fany with gritting my teeth.

“we met Fany at office, it’s lunch time so we’re going to eat,” yuri answers nonchalantly.

And I look at soo who looks like thinking for a good reason,

“nado!”

She seems more cheerful than usual.

“oh well, you need a better excuse, soo, you’re always hungry.” I said.

Are they know already?

Did fany tell them?

“I want to have a quality time with you guys, what is wrong with that?,” and now soo’s whining.

“fine. Fine.” I said.

I’m getting dizzy and it wasn’t even started.

“do you want to eat first or talk first?,” yuri suddenly asked.

She said if she just met fany and why is she asking about talk?

She just play dumb before, wasn’t she?

Does she know if the actress here is not only her?

“talk about what?.”

“don’t play dumb, sica,” yuri sounds intimidating.

“are you really dating with tae?,” and just now soo and her rising voice never been that bothering.

And fany take a peek from her back mirror, and we lock our eyes.

I shot her questioning look if she told them,

but she break our eyes contact and get back to the road,

I turn my position to face soo,

And I take my deep breath.

If I’m doing this with taeyeon, maybe it won’t be this hard.

I’m scared.

I just want taeyeon to be here and holding my hand,

And tell them, instead of me.

Oh that was just so classic ways of me.

But taeyeon’s skill with words is really beyond announcer.

She can just talk and sums up everything,

And everything is dandy.

But she wasn’t here right now.

I take another deep breath, gaining some courage.

“I don’t know how to tell you and the other…”

“so it’s true?,” and now yuri cuts in, turn her face on me and soo.

Soo grabs my hand and squeezing it.

“relax sica, it’s only us,” she said.

Soo is clearly holding her happy face and voice.

Yuri is giving me a look as there is something on the edge, ready to fall.

“I don’t even know if tae was ready to tell you guys, it’s been only for a week we made up, and it’s only yesterday that we became official, it happens so fast…”

Before I finish my words, soo is suddenly squealing and yuri is high five-ing her.

“FINALLY! Oh my god, sica, you don’t know how grateful, relieved, and happy we are!,” soo said as she pulls me into her hug.

“well, it’s about goddamn time you guys made up, and let's think the dating as bonus,” yuri said.

I could see her genuine smile that reaches into her ears.

And fany is smiling along with them.

And I feel relieved too as soo’s warm body embraces me.

And yuri is intertwined our fingers.

I feel so blessed.

“tell us the details, how is she, you know,” and soo suddenly stutters.

But her eyes are bright.

Shining.

Her smile is still there.

I can’t help but smile too, recalling that night.

“she was out on a bar with sunny, which is she rarely did, and she had maybe a glass of beer.”

and I paused, watching their reaction.

Even fany manages to keep quiet all the way.

Yuri and soo are frozen from their seat.

Yuri is going to has backache later.

“and?,”

“you know if she wasn’t good with emotion, and neither with alcohol, so she decided to call me that night.”

I manage my straight face.

“and she just confessed through the line?,” and fany is finishing my words.

I just nod.

“yeah, she was saying is she’s sorry about what happened to us, and the funny thing is she said if I was freaking out or else, she will just say if she was drunk that night.” I said.

Yuri turns her position like before, facing the front road.

And massaging her neck.

“she said that like she has nothing to lose.” Soo said after releasing her sigh.

Her stare never leaves me.

“but actually, she places her everything for you,” yuri said.

I’m inhaling a big of oxygen, shuts my eyes, and lean on my seat.

I can feel Soo’s eyes keep remains on me,

So when I open my eyes, Her eyes welcome mine with full of concern.

“I know you were angry with her,” soo said.

Her voice is so soft.

I’m not ready for this.

And I glance at the other side,

But her hands reach mine,

I can’t help but locking our eyes again.

“of course you have the right to be angry, she was ignoring you for months and suddenly she said if she’s in love with you, I just can’t imagine how you feel.”

The other reminds silence.

Why does soo need to be like this?

Maybe she was right, I was angry with tae.

But I remember clearly if I wasn’t that mad.

I was hurt, but even if I was angry,

Maybe I’m more angry to myself,

To let tae influenced my life more than she should be,

more than anyone knew.

“actually I wasn’t that angry with her,” I said.

“and don’t say it like that, soo, it’s like she’s the bad person here, because she wasn’t, she isn’t. she just scared with what she feels, she was raised from small town, I doubt it if her parents teach her if everything is fine when it comes to love, I just feel sorry for her, I wish she told me sooner, but she couldn’t, we know how she works,”

And my voice starts to trembling,

the tears, that I’ve been holding, are ready to fall

“I’m sorry sica, I’m sorry, I don’t mean it like that.”

And she hugs me again.

I just let my tears out for now.

Not for angry with soo’s words,

Moreover because of tae.

“I’m sorry, alright?,” she said.

I just nod in her arms.

“soo just worry about you, sica,” yuri said.

“she doesn’t want you to get hurt anymore, we know how you looks up on tae since years ago.” She adds in.

“you don’t have to worry about me, tae’s been bottle up her feelings since long time ago, we should worry about her,” I said between sobs.

Soo keep soothing my back and hold me.

And fany was clearing .

“did tae say something to you, fany-ah?,” soo asked.

Yuri is giving me a tissue,

and soo released her hug to help me wiping my tears.

I’m curious about what tae said to fany too.

And I was always wondering why fany could shut up after all these time.

“you know her, she never talks about herself, I know if she likes someone before she mentions it but I don’t know who, and I was trying to push her furthermore, but then she yells at me and before everything went red, I just let it go.”

“do you ever asked her why did she ignored sica?,” yuri asked.

I know she was curious, just as much as me.

“yes, but she said if nothing’s wrong, you know, no matter how close I am with her, there is always a wall between us, she never lets anyone in, but all I know is she never stop caring about you, sica, just like when you’ve been hit by bodyguard, she confronted if she wasn’t crying, but I know how worried she is, she wasn’t even being able to sleep that week, she doesn’t ask me about sica’s condition, but I know she worried, so I always talk about sica, and then when you were out from hospital, she finally can sleep that night even i notice she quietly crying that night.”

And another tears escape from my eyes.

If I could just turn back time,

I just want to run into her, hug her,

And tell her if I was fine.

or maybe I could tell her to punch the bodyguard.

I was sad when she wasn’t visit me at hospital,

Everyone went but her.

“she is?,” yuri asked.

“yeah,” fany said.

And soo suddenly folds her hands,

“jung sooyeon, I warned you, if you hurt kim taeyeon, I’ll hunt you down, kick your and murder you without leaving any marks.”

And we just laugh.

soo just stare us disbelievingly

“ya!, do you remember the plan? you know, we have to tell her that after we tell it to taeyeon first,” yuri said with laughing.

“screw the plan, I love you,” soo said as reaching me into her hug again.

And I’m happily return the hug,

Tighter.

“soo I demand you to stop these cheesy mushy things,” I said in her ears. Whispering.

When she released me, she has those puppy eyes look,

“I love you too,” I said.

And we just arrived at restaurant around the dorm.

We were talking happily about our comeback, simple things,

Just things that will brighten up the mood.

After lunch, we decide to have another quality time at dorms,

With manicure and pedicure’s schedule.

When we arrived at dorm, it’s already evening, 7pm,

There are yoona, sunny, and hyo who just back from their schedule.

And as in yoona, she right away notice my swollen eyes.

“omo!, unnie, were you crying?, what happened?.”

I want to wait for tae until she come back but yoona pouts really irresistible.

With some threat from hyo, I finally give in.

“don’t we have to wait for seo?,” I want to buy the time.

“annyeonghaseo!,” seo suddenly pops up from her musical reherseal.

Damn, I thought.

“come here, seo! Palli-waa.”

The other 6 unnies demand her, so she just sit between soo and sunny.

It’s been a long time since we were all together, I know, minus tae, in the dorm.

“can we just wait for tae?,” I asked again.

And everyone was giving me death glare, except sunny and seo.

“fine, fine.”

And I told them about everything,

Sunny and fany help me fill the story too,

The other girls seems too occupying with the story.

When I tell them about our pre-date,

They were all like “aw” ing with the same motion and voice.

And when I tell them about the glove, earings, dinner as in official date, and music box,

Hyo ready to shot me with her pillow.

Everybody is curling their hands.

Fortunately, nobody is object our relationship.

They feel sorry for us because of the paparazzi and the rules.

“we will help you, don’t you worry, aren’t we gurls?,” fany said.

And just in time, tae came from front door with her tired look.

But somehow, her eyes suddenly lights up when it locks with mine.

She sends me her smile that I’ve been missed since this morning.

“awwwww, do you wanna kiss her?,” and soo suddenly need to interrupt the moment.

And right there, she has her eyes widen.

Her smile is disappear.

And now I feel scared.

I’m scared if she wasn’t ready to tell the members.

The girls are giving me a look too,

Like they’re worried what would happened after that.

She still stands from her spot, and I flustered,

How do I do now?

“do you tell them?,” she asked me with her intense look.

But she didn’t look angry.

I’m trying to calm myself first and nod,

And she relieved her deep sigh,

“thank God, I was thinking how to tell you guys when I was on my way to dorm,” she said as she manages to give her smile.

All of us are sharing the same look,

Relieved and happy look.

And then she walks toward me and sit beside me,

She is giving me that look,

When you feel you want to close the gaps,

And locks your lips.

But you couldn’t,

Because the girls are ready to clearing their throat.

“let me bring the champagne,” seo finally said as she gets up from her seat.

“I’ll help you with the glass,” soo and hyo said.

Yoona, whose sitting beside me, sends me her lovey dovey look,

She reaches my hand, intertwining our fingers,

“I’m happy for you unnie,” she said with her low voice.

“of course, we all are happy for them,” soo shouts from kitchen.

“you need to stop eavesdropping,” fany said as she puts some nail paint on sunny's toes.

Yoona gives me her smile,

And I just squeezing her hand.

She’s really happy for me, since she knew how I admire taeyeon since day one.

my face is tired because I feel like I’ve been put on a hanger in my mouth,

I’ve been smiling non stop for now.

But I can’t help it.

“your eyes are swollen,” taeyeon said in my ears, lowly.

“it’s been a long day,” I said with my normal voice.

“and don’t worry about the rules, you know we all here for you,” sunny said.

Taeyeon is giving her brofist.

“next time, be careful when you kissed, I know her lips is irresistible, sica, but look around,” yuri said

my face is burning.

yoona only laughing from her seats.

taeyeon seems awkward for a moment but when i tried to lock our eyes,

she suddenly smiles.

it's like her automatic reaction everytime she saw me.

soo, seo, and hyo come with the champagne and glasses.

but before tae reach the glass,

soo stops her,

"don't you dare to hurt sica, or I'm going to kick your , you know I'm capable to murder anyone without leaving any evidence."

and the rest of members are laughing.

"why do you guys laugh? I'm serious," soo whines.

"what is it with you and and murder?," fany asked.

taeyeon just shakes her head and squeezing soo's hand,

"I know, and I won't." she said.

and I swooned.

soo gives her satisfied look.

"this is what I want." soo said 

and we're raising our glass of champagne,

Milkshake as in Hyo since she was banned from drinking,

ready to brace ourself for new comeback which in 2 days,

"let's work harder," tae said.

"cheers!."

and then we order dinner,

around 15 minutes later, the table is full of sets food.

before we dig in, I got up from my seat,

and take out my cell phone, and stand at the very end of table,

"guys, look over here!." I said.

after we manage to take some decent pictures,

we fill our hungry belly.

And just like that, everything is fine.

Even the world doesn’t know yet,

The company forbidden it,

As long as the members are happy with us,

As long as I have her,

Nothing is matter.

Nothing is better.