IV.

It's been a week since the release of the newspaper, and I can say that this is the most successful issue so far. The student satisfactory evaluation was higher than the last one. Maybe BamBam was the lucky charm of the group. It has never been this high before he came.

I can see almost everyone in the cafeteria is reading the newspaper. I'm happy to be part of the team. I am proud to say that writing is my escape, and is my happiness. I've never felt the same excitement on anything or anybody.

Maybe not until I met Jackson.

"Look who's daydreaming again," a familiar hand tapped my shoulder. It was him, Jackson.
I smiled and sat straight the moment I realized that he'll be sitting with me on the same table. "Not eating anything, huh? Want some?" he gave me the cake and I shook my head. I'm not hungry, anyways.
I just watched him finish his own food. Every bite, he'll smile at me. "Why are you so happy?" I asked. "Aril asked to go to a movie date with me." he smiled so broadly while eating his cake. I felt a slight pain in my heart, yet I feel happy for him. I don't even know how I feel anymore because of him.

He told me stories about how happy she is with him. For reasons, I placed a fake smile on my lips. I don't want to ruin his moment. I don't want him to realize that he is hurting me.

I can't deny that I love him so much, yet I don't want to admit it. 

After that short dramatic scene, it's time to meet the team again. I just found out that I'm late, but thanks to the good heavens Jr. is in a good mood.

He plainly discussed about how the newspaper was so successful this time, and I saw my co-members with a smiling face. This is so motivational. Seriously.

"Let's have a victory party, maybe?" Jr. asked. "I know a Karaoke house near this school, and we'll party rock hard!" he said with an excited tone. I've never seen the president like this.

"C'mon!"
"Bring out your wild sides, Newspaper club!"

Everyone is excited. I can say that I am a little excited, too. This is my first time going out with people. This is the club's first time to party and this is the first time I am going out with a group; and I am glad I'll be with them.

"I'll treat you all-- food, beer, anything! Buy whatever you want!"
"How about love, hyung?" 

He looked at our co-club member and laughed. "Silly, money can't buy love!" 

Whenever I hear the word love, I picture Jackson in my mind always. Maybe because he was my definition of Everything.

Damn, I should stop myself.

They were just laughing at the room. The atmosphere is so joyful until I realized that BamBam and I are the only ones who aren't laughing.

"Why?" I asked.
"Nothing," he replied.

"You going?" 
"Maybe?" 

I'm only looking up to see him. "I'm going," I said to convince him to go. Wish he would though. He looks like a Mama's boy though and he's 16.

By 6PM, the sky was already dimmed. The team was waiting outside the building of the karaoke room rentals. I am the third to the last who arrived, and the last was Jr. When he arrived, we rented a room and started to party.

"Brought beers!" I am 16, yet I am used to these. I drink whenever I'm sad. Everyone knows that.
I treat the club as my family more than I do in my true family. It's just maybe I've spent more time with them than with my family. That's the truth, and the truth . You can't blame me if I act like this; I lack the feeling of being loved.

"Take a shot, BamBam!" JB offered him, but he shook his head with a smile and his hands on his knees while comfortably sitting. It's okay though, it'll not be nice if everyone of us will be drunk in the end of this night.

"But it's time to face the truth," I shouted as I sing. I don't even care anymore, I think I drank a lot today. "I'LL NEVER BE WITH YOU!" I screamed as I thought of Jackson. All of us were drunk, but I think I'm the most. "Enough, let's go home." BamBam said and placed hishands on my shoulders from my back. "Go away," I removed his hands from my shoulder. "I'm having fun here."

"Fun?" he hissed. This is the first time I saw him like this. "You're drunk, and that's bad for your liver. Now let's go home." he said in a serious tone. "Who cares? Who are you in my life anyways? If I'm going to die, what would you do? Scream? Laugh? What?" I asked and then returned my attention to the TV Screen. I tried to press numbers and when I'm on the 2nd to the last number, he snatched the remote from my hand and I looked at him with an annoyed look and yelled, "What's your problem?" I felt my tummy going to vomit-- good thing I still can control it. 

"You. Chelle, I'm dead serious. You look all ed up." I raised a brow and touched my stomach. It's really going to release something.

"I've got a lot of problems and this is my only escape. Shut the up, BamBam. You know nothing." I rolled my eyes even though I feel dizzy. I cupped my forehead and rested in my arm in my lap. It damn hurts: plus I think I am going to vomit. He is looking at me with his brows forming a v-shape. 

"Let's go to the bathroom." he plainly said, focibly pulling me with him to the bathroom the the room. 

The moment we reached the bathroom, I hurridly came to the toilet bowl and vomited everything. I rested my hand to the wall so I wouldn't fall in case, and BamBam is rubbing my back continuously so I'd feel better. In a second, I felt guilty for scolding him. He's a nice person, after all. 

"Seriously, you drank too much. What's your problem?" I looked at him for a second before continuing to vomit. I paused for a while and talked. "I like Jackson, and he's deeply in love with Aril. My parents never cared. School is a for me. Now you know. What could you do?" I wiped some left from the sides of my mouth my my hand. Who the hell cares?

"Help you?" he said with a serious tone.
"You can't," I said before chuckling. He thinks he's superior. He thinks he can do everything in a blink.

"How can you not trust me?"

"I'll try you, then. Welcome to my life."