X.
By morning I woke up without BamBam in my place. I tried to search for him around the house, until I noticed the note he left on my fridge that he'll go early to prepare for tomorrow's class, and that he prepared breakfast in case I woke up late. 

He's still the BamBam I've known before. Calm and Intelligent. 

I prepared myself and everything. When I opened the door, I saw a tall guy leaning from the unlighted lamp post that's seen from my house. Hands on his pocket, looking down with one leg forward.

He probably heard my footsteps so he looked at my direction and smiled. "Good Morning," he greeted. "It's a very special day today." why?

"Good Morning, Jackson." I felt butterflies in my stomach; few of them. I tried to sound normal and formal,removing the tense I am feeling. I closed my eyes for a second before breathing out heavily and looking at him straight. "You going to school?" he asked and I slowly nodded. Is this really happening? I mean, no. Aril would kill me.

But at least, he's starting to value himself. His love. Indeed, he must know who to give his love. and it is to the right person who equally loves him back. Not just someone who is a pile of who can't appreciate the best people. Just No.

"How's life?" he said, looking straight to the way with his hands still inside his pocket. "Doing fine." I answered with a smile.

"It's a little bit early." he said after removing his left hand and looked at his wrist watch. "Let's buy ice cream first?" he asked. I raised a brow and slowly nodded. It will be eaten along the way, so nothing would turn out bad. We won't be late anyways.

We passed by a small shop that's opening early and we bought two cups. It was actually his treat. He ordered the biggest for us two, and it was pretty hard carrying it.

"You look really hungry," he chuckled. He was staring at me while I am eating. He looked calmly happy, and that just made my day. "Didn't finish my breakfast." I answered and shrugged my shoulders with a greasy smile. He noticed.

"You shouldn't starve yourself." he frowned a little.

Suddenly, what is this? He is starting to care much more than the usual. "Is there something wrong?" I said, raising a brow. "What made you think so?" he raised back. Maybe I am just overreacting over little things; indeed I am a paranoid.

"N-nothing, sorry." I shyly answered, looking down. 

We walked awkwardly without talking about anything. When I can see the gate of the school, he started to talk again. "Mind if I ask you something?" he said in a doubting tone. It made my heart beat so fast. "I don't." I really hope the question wouldn't be serious or something.

"Just in case if I liked you back, would I have a chance?"

It strucked me. It made my heart skip a beat. I don't want to think that he's giving me false hopes, but in this situation, I think he is. He knows how much I loved him. He knows how long I've waited for him to love me back. He wouldn't ask this. He normally wouldn't. Why?

"No," I shook my head in disapproval. "Aril problems?" I chuckled and tried to make it look like his question was a kid as possible.

"What if.. there's no Aril?" he said in a worried and serious look. My face turned calm and serious-- I sighed. I was blankly staring at him.

"Maybe?" I don't want to look like I'll be chasing for him forever. I know to myself that the answer would be a 'yes', but I pity myself even though my love for him was unconditional and not fleeting. Probably, it was never infatuation that I once thought when we met for the first time in the Park Playground.

He gave me a half smile and a disappointed look in the eye. What does he want to happen? I love him, but I don't want to slap it to his face today. I'm doing it everyday before.

"Good bye," I waved when he looked back at me when I was about to enter my room. "I hate good byes." he demanded. "It means forgetting permanently." he gave me a manly pout. I chuckled. It's a gross!

"What's the proper word, then?" I asked. He thought of it for a while. "I don't know, just tell me you'll return." a broad smile curved his lips. "Okay, I will." 

Seriously, why is everyone becoming so poetic?

***

Marianne wasn't available for Lunch, so I came with BamBam instead. I told him the rooftop is sick, and he revenged by saying that the cafeteria is a mess. We argued for half an hour, but in the end, we chose to eat in the grounds.

"This is sick," I whined in whisper. He heard it so he looked at me with a brow raised. He smirked with confidence after. "Told you, eating is so much fun in the rooftop."

"Cafeteria!" I shouted. "Environmental noise and such, it's fun to hear other people." I smirked with confidence after as if I was sure that my opinion was better than his. 

"Really?" he chuckled, the look still engraved in his face. "I like us alone." I was surprised so as a reflex action, I made an awkward shocked look that made him laugh cutely. 

"Can you not?" I rolled my eyes and looked away. I placed the hairstrands back to the back of my ear that escape. "I'm serious though." I tried to ignore what he said and continue to eat instead.

"You," I whispered.

By afternoon he offered to walk me home and I agreed. It's still pretty early than my usual time of coming home. It was 7; we spent an hour eating instant foods in a near convenience store plus it rained. Good thing the grounds are somehow dry now.

We faced each other when we reached the front pace of my house. "Bye?" I asked.

"Night." he answered. I just remembered that he hated goodbyes.

"Wait!" he said when I was about to enter the house. "Hope you'd appreciate this." he said, placing his bag in his lap while still standing and looking for something. "Here." he said and handed a box to me. He walked near. I received the box and looked at it. Why? All of the sudden, he hugged me. "Happy Birthday, Chelle." I suddenly remembered. Everything made sense. 

"I love you." his voice made me feel numb, turning me to a stone. "Trying not to care about you is futile; and all of my ardent thoughts will be synonymous to you. Loving you just feels great. It is a combination of morose and delightful moods." He loosened his hug, hands still on my shoulder. He kissed my forehead. The feeling can't be explained. "I will always be here for you." he gave me a half smile and walked away slowly.

Wild palpitations. My body isn't functioning well. Butterflies on my stomach. 

I feel numb.