XIV.
I slept with ambivalent thoughts burdening me. The way I feel burdens me, and I can't really decide. Am I in love with BamBam, or I am just infatuated? Am I still in love with Jackson?

Even I don't know.

By morning, I woke up, still thinking about the question, "Who do I really love?"
I'm most likely drowned. Whenever my happiness is synonymous to BamBam, yet my sadness is synonymous to Jackson.

Nevertheless, I still need to decide. I can't love them both. I need to choose one, and I need to let go of the other.

Today, Jackson asked me to go out with him. I was about to go with BamBam, but Jackson asked first. I didn't tell BamBam about this small date of Jackson and I; he's becoming insecure and possesive in his very mind. Or at least that's what I think. Seeing his disappointed face last time gives me an ache in the heart. I wouldn't let him no this. And besides, it would be too informative to let him know, since he wasn't asking.

"Ready to go?" he said when he noticed me in the stairs; I showed him my palm, signing him to give me a second. He nodded after. I ran towards my room afterwards. I already have myself fixed, but not my room. 

After fixing my sheets and placing my left papers and pens on my cabinet, I went down and smiled at him, indirectly saying that we should go. It was a very cheerful sunday, with a teaspoon of guilt in me. In the back of my mind, I swear something isn't right. I feel like a pathetic liar.

We both agreed to just walk to the mall to feel the Sunday Vibes. We'll spend the whole day together, regardless the time. It was agreeable, since nowadays, we occasionally meet. 

He was pretty cool yet casual today. He wears a black snapback and a black shirt; paired with pants and red sneakers. This is how he usually dresses up, and will dance randomly few hours later.

"You look fine today," he said after looking at me head to toe. I smiled at placed the few strands of hair that escaped the back of my ear again. I shyly looked down before appreciating what he said, "Thank you."

Since it was early morning, we both agreed to spend few hours in a cafe inside the mall. The cafe sells pretty expensive foods, but since I came here before, I am sure they offer it with the best taste.

I am wearing a baby pink sleeveless top matched with ombre shorts; I also wore a pair of yellow wedge. Sunday.

"Eat well." he heavily chuckled after, making me realize that I am too fast.

"Sorry.." I answered after I finished eating. I wiped out the sides of my lips for the leftover food to vanish.

It was 12 noon when we finished eating at the cafe. We decided to walk for few minutes before going to a Fun House. I suddenly remembered BamBam, getting me a stuffed penguin in a crane game.

And if coincidence is your bestfriend, you and Jackson would probably go first in the Crane section and he'd ask you, "Want this?" while chuckling and almost inserting a token in the slot.

Which happened.

"No," I answered. He looked at me with a confused look, wanting to ask why. "N-no." I showed him my hands and shook it as a disapproval. "I think I own a lot if it." I tried to normally giggle. "And besides, I received a duck for my birthday. It was you who gave it, right?" I said, trying to convince him. The crane he approached was the same crane BamBam approached to get the stuffed penguin!

"How about the Penguin, then?" my eyes widened, and I have no choice but to lie. "I hate penguins." I pouted as my forehead wrinkled, trying to make it look true. "Are you sure?" he wasn't seem convinced yet he was trying to. "Okay then." he said with a happy tone. What an acting session.

We played 2-player games like Tekken, punch that boxer,  that 2D pingpong and car racing. We also tried different photobooths with several blinging and girly effects, which is funny to say, he enjoyed the most. He's placing pink ribbons in his ear and glamorous glasses while making a very girly pose. I hid the picture where he is exposing the curve of his while doing a peace sign and a duck face. Most ridiculous thing ever.

"Last one," he said. The screen is showing the number '1', meaning, there is only 1 left shot to print. It was counting down on three, when I don't know what to pose. It made me panic, until he wrapped his hand around my shoulder and leaned slight on me while both of us are doing a wacky face. 

"This copy is mine!" he chuckled, proudly raised it before placing it in his pocket. He looked at his watch to check the time. "It's already 2PM. Movie?" I nodded and wrapped my arm on his, that made him look at me. I didn't give any reactions.

The movie was entitled, '24 rotations of the wheelchair'. It was about a guy who has a wrecked life; he's more likely involved in drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc. in an early age of 22. He was kicked out of their house and he tried to find his luck, leading him to a house of an old widowed lady (that took care of him, of course) and helping him find a job, which is taking care of disabled people and people that has a severe sickness. That made him take care of the girl who is bedridden, until they developed a love that may soon be pointless.

"Can tell that it's heartwarming." I smirked and scooped a popcorn with the use of my hands. "Same," he second the motion.

In between the movie, I am surprised that Jackson gave a side comment. "Can't believe their sincere love would be pointless at the end." he was slowly shaking his head.

"Well at least they showed their love when it is still possible," I looked at him with a smile. "They proved theirselves. There's nothing to regret about, since they savoured every moment together." I added.

"It would still be better if they've proven it for a lifetime. It would be a hundred times better if they chose each other til the end."

My own words gave me a clue.

It was already six when we walked home. Our houses are near, so it wouldn't be a problem.

"Good..." I paused, remembering how he hated good byes. "Night?" with a hesitated tone, I said.

"Too early," he responded.

I looked at my watch and giggled, "It's already 6:10 though." 

"Okay then." he smiled. "Good Night, Chelle." he gave me a small wave, not yet moving.

"Good night." I plainly said, giving him a cheery kiss on the cheek. He was surprised at first, but after that he smiled. "It was friendly, right?" he said. A part of me was sad. Still, it was okay. I suddenly remembered that he still has a relationship with Aril. 

I just nodded.

He hugged me for a second before completely leaving, making me think about my current life question. I have a temporary answer, but that's not what I need. I need a constant answer. The one I know I'll always choose, and I'll never regret.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

wow look at how this would end in less than 5 chapters! I am so proud of myself *cries glitters*

Anyways, the movie they watched would be my next story after Black Eyeliner. Yay!! (Though I am not sure what boy group would be the lead. Please suggest!)

So yeah please don't use 24 rotations of the wheelchair as your story's plot or something because I am going to use it hooray

Well that's all lmao update will be tomorrow!! *hearts everywhere*

Thank you for reading.