When we reached home it was 2AM already. The house was far from being asleep but as soon as we entered the living room Minho smelled the fight scent and switched off the music. Taemin looked up at us, while leaning on the floor between Minho’s legs, and kept staring as if he was waiting for one of us to say something.

-What?- Jonghyun broke the silence and sat on the sofa, a little far away from Minho – you’ve seen us fight enough time so what’s with that face?- he was a little harsh.

-Don’t talk to them like that- I really didn’t like his behavior. He was fighting with me – It’s not their fault if you’re a -

The pair of eyes looked astonished at me. Did I just say the last part aloud? Oh .

-What did you just say?- Jonghyun kept staring at me as he didn’t believe his ears.

-I…- oh – I mean, it’s us whom are fighting so let the kids out of this-

-Kid?- Minho really can’t stay quiet sometimes. I glared at him.

-Why don’t we continue our chat in the bedroom, Jonghyun? Or maybe you want to call Kim Dan Bi first to tell her that we are going to fight- I smiled, like an angel. The best fake smile of my life. It was almost frightening.

He stood up – So, while I make my call, why don’t you call your Japanese underage wife to discuss how beautiful your wedding photos are?-

-Guys…- Minho tried to easy the things but both of us  yelled at him to stay out of this. Then I walked in my room, waited for Jonghyun to enter too, and slammed the door.

We yelled at each other for two exhausting hours. I think they heard us even in Busan. We didn’t reach a point, as always. We just let go of everything, blaming without really blaming; hating without really hating. It’s the price that came with the secrecy of our relationship. Not being able to share with the world the most important thing of our lives (our love) it’s painful and tiresome. Situation like the one occurred in the club are a need for us. We are forced to spread fake rumors on dates and girls sometimes because nobody can really think that we are a true couple.

-I love you- I finally said – I love you and I can bear to see you being close with every single girl of our company but you picked her because you knew that like this I would have been hurt the most – my tears started to run on my cheeks upsetting me – I’m not indestructible, Jonghyun- I was almost stuttering – one day something will probably break me for good and it will be over- he went pale at my saying – please, don’t rush that moment –

We stayed silent for a while, then he hugged me and I knew he was in pain as much I was at the thought of us breaking up. We didn’t need any “I’m sorry” or something else. We just hugged like that and then went to bed, together.

After that night,  days passed by slowly. I finished my ToHeart promotions and the WGM episodes started to be aired. Onew came back. Taemin went back and forth from Japan for his musical preparations. Minho had basically nothing to do and so Jong, except for his radio program. We were trying to focus on our upcoming japan single but the atmosphere in the company wasn’t good. Something was there to explode and we were silently waiting for it.

It happened one morning. I was going to our practice room when I saw Tao run away from exo practice room and I swear he was crying. Sehun tried to follow him but Suho, with the angriest face I’ve ever seen on him, stopped him.

-What’s happening?- I asked reaching them. As soon as they see me they bowed but they stayed quiet – So?-

Suho looked at me and then sighed – Sehun, come back to the others and stay there – the maknae nodded and left. Suho closed the door of the practice room and ask me if he could me till my practice room. After a while, when we didn’t speak at all, he started talking.

-Kris is gone- his voice cracked but he tried to stay strong.

-What do you mean?- I had something in my mind, obviously but I didn’t want to believe it.

-He didn’t comeback with us and we were just reported that he filed a lawsuit against the company in order to cancel his contract-

-WHAT?- I grabbed his arm and stopped him – why!?-

-Don’t know. He didn’t speak with us at all…he didn’t speak with me!- he was going to break in front of me, in any moment, so I just hugged my friend, saying nothing because there was nothing right to say in that moment. He grabbed my back as if I was his anchor and we stayed like that for a while.

-I can’t say that everything will be alright- I murmur in the end – but we are all here for you, if you guys need something – he nodded and then released the hug. His eyes were watery and a little red but I forced himself to smile.

-I have to come back, they are waiting for me- I nodded and watched his back leaving. I reached the practice room and when I opened the door my other members where already there.

From their expression I could easily say that they all knew what was happening. We just looked at each other, then Onew steps forwards.

-I know it’s a very complicated situation, and I know all of us want to help them – he looked at Taemin, who was obviously worried for his best friend, Kai – But we have to stay out of this. We know how things like this can go on, we’ve been there the other times too –

We all nodded. I reached Taemin hands with mine and squeezed it a little but he didn’t even react. He was pissed and worried so I couldn’t take it anymore – Promise me something- I said gaining their attention – if there’s something talk, if one of us has some problem please say it aloud – I was staring at Jonghyun, the thought of letting him or one of them go just like what had happened with Hangeng and Suju,  Jaejoong, Junsu and Yoochun and TVXQ, was unbearable.

-I promise- he said locking his gaze with mine.

-Me too- Minho passed his arm around Taemin shoulder.

-Of course- Onew, smiled at me. I was sure that I was going to cry if I said another word, so I just smiled back.

When our choreographer went it we were still in that weird situation. He looked at us and then clapped his hand.

-Come on, let’s practice!-

Ok, one thing. This chapter wasn’t supposed to be like this. But Kris’ situation it’s just too big to let it aside. I don’t know the truth and I don’t want to discuss it either. I just found really strange that something like this happens only in SM. That aside… I really hope that people stop bother Key on Instagram about Kris’ situation. Even though he’s in SM too, he’s not part of EXO and probably they were really told to not speak about it. I decided to wrote their reaction to Kris news because I’m really thankful to SHINee for always sticking together and never waver, and because yesterday I’ve read some tvxq ff and my cassie feelings are a mess (ahahahahah) so I’m a bit emotional LOL

Hope you’ll enjoy this chapter too and see you next time!