Siwon's P.O.V

What is it with this guy? Whats his problem anyway? I didnt see this one coming. Honestly! Drugs?

After what seemed like eternity, Kyuhyun finally stood up but swayed a little probably due to the effect of the drugs. He went ahead and sat on the bench in front of the piano again to catch some breath.

"Why? Why do you do this to yourself? So many students see you as their role model for god's sake. They idolise you."I said defeatedly to him.

"Why dont you just mind your own business and scram?" he spat coldly.

"I am sorry to say that I cant act like nothing happened here, not after realising that I am responsible for you taking drugs like this. And FYI I had come here to apologise to you for kissing you out of the blue in the morning so..." I continued on with my rant when he interrupted me in the middle.

"Ha ha ha! What? You thought that I was taking drugs 'coz you kissed me? Stop giving yourself so much importance in my life" he said to me.

"Then why?" I insisted.

"I dont think I am answerable to anyone by the likes of you." he retaliated.

And continued "And I neither wanted the students to idolise me nor did I want a fanclub."

"Nevertheless! You are the President of the Student Council. If the authorities come to know of your little escapades, they will throw you out of this school." I told him.

"Does it look like I care? Dude! Stop whatever you are doing and go home"he said to me and walked past me towards the front door. I didnt want him to go, not before he explained to me properly why he was drugging himself. So I bravely took long strides across the room and grabbed his arm before he left. He stopped midway and I said "You have the most beautiful voice that I have ever heard and I want to hear you sing more 'coz you seem more human than now while singing. A...and I..I think....I think I may have f...fallen ff..for you"

"Seems like even that hard kick on the shin couldnt knock sense into that obviously empty skull of yours."he said angrily.

He turned around and faced me while I let go of his hand and said "Just stay away from me if you know whats good for you." The firm conviction in his eyes accompanied by the menacing tone of his deep voice sent shivers down my spine and I stood still while he slipped away from my grasp and left me there facing nothingness.

Kyuhyun's P.O.V

Who does that guy think he is? Barging into my life on one fine day and messing around with me! I dont like it. I dont like it one bit!

My vision was a little hazy due to the drugs and so I had called my driver to drive me back home instead of me driving myself.

Reaching the doorstep of my house, I noticed that it was locked. Typical! Dad has gone on another business tour I guess. He is hardly home these days. I reached for the keycard in my pocket, opened the door and let myself in.

Alone! In this entire big mansion. Well technically I wasnt alone. The maids and the butlers were there still the absence of my family could be felt. I went through all the voice messages to my number while lying down on my bed. Most of them were from dad saying that he had to leave for Taiwan on a short notice and that he wouldnt be back till tomorrow morning. One of them were from Jonghyun and Minho saying that they had planned for a short get together at "The Blue Tulip" nightclub tonight and that I had to come no matter what. And the last one caught my attention. I sprang up and sat on my bed while intently listening to it.

It said "I had an awesome birthday today. Received so many gifts from my friends at school but the most precious gift was your recording. I received it just a few minutes ago. Did you record it today? I had really missed your voice. It was spellbinding, heartwarming and it gave me all the more reasons to love you unconditionally. It gladdened me to no ends after listening to my most favourite song in your version, in your angelic voice. Even if you arent here celebrating my birthday with me, I sensed your presence through the song. Thank you for your lovely gift and I shall listen to it whenever I miss your presence and keep it treasured with me .........as a piece of you in your memory. Oh and mom gifted me a pair of roller skates. And its so awesome and it was all that I had wanted for my birthday. The next time when we meet, you can try the skates as I know that you like showing off your skating skills. I just wished that you would be here beside me. I miss you, your smile, your laughter and everything about you. I ...love you...Brother Kyu....Take care ....BEEPP"

Emotional bastard! You sent me a voice message and I am glad it reached you in time. Happy birthday baby brother. You deserve all the love in the world.

I looked over at my table on which there was a picture of me, dad, mom and my little brother Jino. My sight fell on little Jino who was just 6 years old when the picture was taken. And it was taken just a few days before the fateful day when everything came crashing down. And before I knew it, my happy family was no longer happy and no longer family.

I remember as if it had happened just yesterday.

Flashback

Not one day had passed by without my dad and mom going for each other's jugular. Their marriage was a mutually consented love marriage. As a consequence of unrelenting courtship from my dad's side, my mom had finally accepted his proposal and they had gotten married with the blessings of all the elders from my family.

A year after their marriage I was born and everything was hunky-dory between my parents. And things continued to be so until after the birth of Jino. Dad had been quite busy setting up schools and colleges all across the nation and he had been the country's Revision Chairman at that time. So he had to sacrifice spending quality time with his family and ended up going on business tours and all such events.

Despite constant requests from me and my mom to join us on dinners he always managed to excuse himself saying that he had urgent meetings. My mom wasnt able to sleep several nights through without weeping continuously and everytime that happened my heart broke into a million pieces. Jino was a mere baby and I prayed to god every day that everything should be fine by the next day.

One fine day my dad came back home. My mom welcomed him with open arms but it seemed that he wasnt even interested to be home and that he had come here on a mere formality as if it were a mere obligation and not his responsibilities as a husband and a father.

That became the start of the strained relationship of my mom and dad. Even the slightest provocation would trigger a chain reaction in the house and it went on for several years till I was 11 years old.

Suddenly on one fine morning, dad informed us all that we would be going on a vacation to Jeju Islands. More than anyone in the house I was thrilled and thought that dad had finally learned to care for his family. We went there, had loads of fun and even witnessed horse races. At that time a woman used to constantly keep in touch with my dad. My dad had met her on one of those races and she seemed to be too hospitable. My mom had suspicions about her intentions and had warned my dad to keep his distance from her. Not minding her words, he continued to be oblivious to the woman's intentions. We took several pictures as an entire family and were quite happy as we returned home.

Just when I had believed that things couldnt go any better than this. The fateful day came when the front page of a tabloid reported pictures of the country's Revision Chairman and popular businessman on his secret escapades with a woman who was supposedly a well known hotel heiress. So that was what he was doing in Jeju. He was constantly seeing her behind my mother's back. I was devastated and mom was going hysterical after witnessing it.

Upon constant interrogations, my dad continued to justify his actions by stating that he had been discussing business matters with her and nothing more. My mom finally decided not to take it lying down and finally filed for divorce. Then came the nightmare. The custody of both their sons.

My mom never intended to leave me in the hands of the man who deserted her and his family for the sake of business. But my father legally moved the courts for the custodianship of his eldest son stating reasons like succeeding him and taking care of his businesses as the heir. And at the end of the battle Jino ended up living with my mom and I with my dad.

I was emotionally broken down. Changmin and Zhoumi were the only ones who were with me during my hard times. The person that I loved the most was brutally separated from me. But atleast I could sing so that I could continue to sense my mother's presence within me. That was one of the many warm memories that I had with my mom. She would sing and play the piano and I sang along with her while Jino was still inside her womb. But even that was taken away from me by my dad one day when he accidentally heard me singing and playing the piano from inside my room.

He had warned me that if he ever heard me sing without concentrating on my studies in the future he wouldnt think twice before destroying my little brother's and my mom's life. I cried myself to sleep that night and wondered if a man can be this cruel and heartless. Therefore as a result of extensive mental trauma I ended up taking anti-depressants without my dad's knowledge. And before I knew it one thing led to another and I had become a full fledged drug addict at the tender age of 15. Changmin noticed me taking drugs for the first time in a secluded place on the school grounds of Junior High. He advised me not to fall prey to such habits and even professed his love to me as an outburst. I politely had to turn him down as getting near me would only hurt him more. But he refused to let me go and continued being my friend. As years passed by Changmin and Zhoumi were under the impression that I had quit taking drugs and stopped asking me about it.

And one fine day he took me to a nightclub saying that getting myself couped up in my bed room all day isnt going to do any good and even introduced me to Jonghyun and Minho who were from our neighbouring school. Together the four of us started our own cult group known as "The Kyuline". Whenever I get flooded with an overwhelming longing to be with my mom and Jino I announce for a gathering at "The Blue Tulip" to temporarily relieve me from my pains.

Even to this day, my dad continues to be the same with me. It had been 3 years since I started taking drugs and alcohol and I could already sense my health withering away because of this. But I dont care. Despite constant warnings and confrontations from Changmin and Zhoumi I continue to take drugs because these days they provide me with salvation, a temporary retirement from all worldly things that disturb me. At times I have even considered ending it all but then my mind gets crowded with Jino and my mom that I immediately withdraw myself from those thoughts. I have lost too many precious things in my life to care about my own existence. Because there is simply no hope of a happy ending for me. With these thoughts in mind, I feel my air passage constricting and I gasp for air like a fish out of water. I ransack my bag for the remaining dosage of my drug and inject myself again. I feel numbness take over me and my pain slowly drifting away. A few hours later I had to get ready to go and meet Jonghyun and Minho at the nightclub. Those guys would make a huge fuss if I didnt make it tonight.

And so I dressed myself in a white V-neck T-shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans and a grey leather jerkin and headed for the club.

At the club....

It seemed as though Changmin couldnt make it as his father was at home. So its only me, Jonghyun and Minho. Jonghyun and Minho were from the neighbouring school and sometimes used to come over to our campus to have a friendly chat. They were like family to me. Especially Minho. He reminded me of Jino with his bubbly nature and his sincerity towards me. He said that he always considered me as his big brother. Jonghyun was talkative. He is vivacious and quite open about his feelings. These guys knew about my family background and about the fact that my parents were divorced but not about me taking drugs. And I intend to keep it that way too.

All through the night, the three of us caught up on the things that were keeping us busy. Partied hard with enough booze to knock us out cold for days. I realised that I couldnt move out on my own when I was this high. So I called up Changmin and told him to give us all a ride back home. Changmin arrived at the club and picked us drunk puppies up from there. Jonghyun and Minho dismounted at their respective doorsteps leaving me and Changmin alone in the car till I reached my house.

Changmin opened the passenger seat for me after getting down and offered a helping hand to me. I refused it in hopes of standing on my own two feet but failed miserably. As I was about to fall, Changmin caught me by the waist and held me tight towards his chest refusing to let me go.

"W..what the hhheellll do yooouuu thhinnnk Chwang?" I called him by the cute nickname that I had given him when I was in Junior High but flinched at my own tone as I slurred miserably.

"What do I think? That doesnt matter Kyu! What do you think you are doing? At this rate you are gonna die Kyu" he said with genuine concern in his voice. I didnt fail to notice the slight break in his voice as he called my name out.

"You shhhhoulld get hoome soon. Tell yyoour mom and dad ttthhhat I ssaid hi!" I slurred and fumbled with my keycard. Finally opening the door and closing it behind me after entering, I slide down and feel my eyes stinging with fresh tears threatening to spill any second. I slip into unconsciousness and felt the overwhelming darkness engulf me.