Chapter 17: Nightmare

[Jonghyun POV]

It doesn’t make sense, does it? How can they think I’m jealous or even in love with a ghost? I don’t even like her that much, in the first place. Maybe a little bit, since she makes me sleep well, and her jokes sure are funny, and she’s quite pretty and mysterious. And she can be cute and stupid at the same time, I sometimes, only sometimes I promise, find it adorable. If I could just pinch her cheeks and pat her head, I would. But that’s all there is; oh wait, I also like the way she talks to me; how her eyes sparkle and how she’d unintentionally embarrass herself, how she sometimes get angry when I’m stubborn, how she’d pout when I get pissed when she wants to stop talking to me because she’d like to talk to the other members as well, how she’d act so shy when I smirk at her, I just like her facial expressions and gestures, nothing else. How could that count as even “liking” her? It’s preposterous.

[K] “Yah! Are you finished planning out your life for the next 50 years now?”

[J] “What?”

[K] “Jjong, you’re spacing out, it’s been 10 minutes already and you’re distracting me. Look, think it through. It’s what you do best, right? Thinking is your thing, although it’s not that obvious.” He snickered and I rolled my eyes.

[J] “Kibum, there’s really nothing going on. There’s nothing to think through.”

[K] “Fine. Whatever. Lie to yourself. I won’t force you if you don’t want to. Just stop being so whiny about almost everything that Chunie does.”

[J] “I hate you, Kim Kibum.”

[K] “Yep, I love you, too, so be an obedient puppy and take my advice. Arachi?”

[J] “Bye.”

I stormed out of his room, rather a little louder than usual since I heard him grunting and muttering. Argh! Everyone in this damned dorm is making me crazy. Just as I was passing the living room, on my peripheral view, I saw Onew hyung and Chun Hei playing with cards, laughing their hearts content, looking all so cute and lovey dovey. I wanted to throw the cabinet to them.

“Oh. Jonghyun oppa! Annyeong! Want to play with us?” I didn’t hear anything right? No, I didn’t so I’ll go to my room and do productive things. My steps were rather heavy but I still heard them whispering.

[C] “Oh? He ignored me, Jinki oppa.”

[O] “He must be having his period. Hihihihi”

[C] “Hahaha! Shhh. He might hear you, but I think so, too.”

I slammed the door behind me. Her “Jinki oppa” voice still ringing through my ears, its pounding; an annoying crescendo with echoes. I had no choice but to stuff my ears with loud music, in hope to dilute the annoyance that I refuse to think as jealousy, because it’s not jealousy. No, it’s not, I’m sure it’s not.

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Nudge. Nudge. Huh. I fell asleep?

[C] “Oppa?” She’s here. I closed my eyes once again.

[C] “Jonghyun oppa.” I didn’t move an inch.

[C] “Kim Jonghyun-ssi.” I flung my eyes open, giving her a cold, hard stare.

[C] “Aigoo. You’re going to kill me if you do that again.”

[J] “But you’re already dead. What do you want?”

[C] “Is something wrong? Are you angry with me?” I snorted and kept my silence.

[C] “I’ll be here tonight, I promise. I’ll tuck you in.”

[J] “You don’t need to.” I could hear the frown in her voice.

[C] “Hmm. Okay then. I’m sorry.”

Oh no. Oh no.

I wanted to call out her name and make her come back. If only it didn’t take me 3 seconds to realize that I should be nicer to her, at least for the sake of a good night’s sleep, I wouldn’t have lost my own brand of sleeping pill.

4:00 AM

My eyelids are becoming heavier, oh no. That turd, was she really serious about not coming here? I’m so furious yet I’m too tired to yell for her to come. And my pride is still intact, it’s her job to say sorry to me since it’s her fault. But yeah, unless I want those nightmares again, I must not doze off without Chun Hei.

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It’s pouring today; I shouldn’t have gone out.

I was busy texting my noona to come and pick me up when I heard a familiar voice, a voice that I somehow know every rise and every drop of, a timbre that makes me jerk up in sudden recognition, the voice that calls me “Jjongie” in the most perfect way, my Sekyung. I looked up excitedly and found her across the street, even in her disguise clothes, she still looks perfect. I’ll never regret the day I laid eyes on her. But I wonder why she didn’t reply to my messages this morning, I could go anywhere she wants me to.  So, I called her phone, she looked at it, and remove the battery. Hmm, that’s weird.

I was about to run to cross the road in the intent of surprising her with the small bunch of purple flowers I bought from the shop I happen to have stopped to, when a tall man in a trench coat hugged and lifted her slightly to the ground. He then kissed her forehead after that. Everything in front of me became blurry when felt my feet speeding to the other side and landing both my fists on his ugly face. I felt numb all over, the shaking wasn’t stopping even though I was pulled inside his horrendous car. Only then when I realized, it was her manager.

“I..I don’t understand. Why?” I sounded so weird even in my own ears, sobbing so hard and stifling the upcoming cries, I’m close to exploding. I was constantly punching the door, my knuckles were already bleeding.

“Jjong, please. Stop crying for goodness sake.” She said in a calm voice while massaging her temples. How? Why?

“WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO????!!!!!”

“Look, I’m sorry, Jonghyun. I tried, but this just doesn’t work out.”

“YOU GOT SICK OF ME, SO NOW YOU’RE HOOKING UP WITH YOUR MANAGER?”

“It just,” she rubbed her nape, “kind of happened. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“THAT’S JUST EFFED UP!!!!!” And I punched the devil’s face again, this time with blood oozing down his nose. I ran out from the car, sat on the street side, the rain equaling the amount of my tears.

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“Oppa? Oppa?! Jonghyun! Wake up!”

That voice. Why does it seem so distant?