CHAPTER 1: Oppa!

“Oppa, oppa, oppa, oppa!” is sing-song replaying in my bird brain.

Finally, I’ll be seeing SHINee oppas up close. My heart is beating so wild it’ll rip my skin off in no time. And basically, right now, I feel like pooping and vomiting at the same time because of these firework-like, knotted, unexplainable feelings.

The line is slowly inching towards the long table upfront where the dazzling boys are. Well behaved and calm, the girls in front of me faced me and made small talk about the cold weather and my lack of thick clothes. Oh. My. God. Those are the last things that I want to talk about right now; are they bored or what? How can they keep calm? Well, I bet they’ve seen SHINee many times already, but this is my first fansign so I gave them my awkward but “friendly” smile so they’d go away and I can concentrate on my feelings.

While patiently waiting, I clutched my newly bought album near my heart for this is my only priced possession since my parents rejoined the angels; the only thing I spent money on except food and apartment rent.

Three people until my turn.

Two..

One..

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All the thoughts in my mind were swept out like flood going through a dry ravine: all I know now is that I am standing in front of my angel, my dream come true, my Jonghyun. A black suit with small but prominent teardrop-like sewings highlighted his broad shoulders, slightly opened to reveal a plain white cotton shirt inside. His hands were neatly folded above the table while waiting for me to hand him the album, but I was too stricken by his perfect jawline probably molded by God together with the Adonis statues of golden ratio in Greece. He then looked up at me with his big but chinky-on-the-side eyes, his iris covered with beautiful rust-colored contact lenses that reflect the white lights of the hall quite well. I never thought he had such perfect nose bridge and I now disagree that his nostrils are obnoxiously enormous; I even want to put my fingers inside of them just for the sake of it. And his lips, Oh God, his lips were not as glossy as Key’s who’s sitting beside him but I wanted to touch them so bad, I bet they’re as soft as marshmallows.

Once front of him, with pursed awkward lips and squinting eyes, nothing can hide my happiness. God knows how hard I’m trying to suppress all these emotions, I think I’m going to explode and my insides will be all over the place.

Jonghyun looked at me with a blank expression; his head cocked to the side, as if he’s waiting for something. I then remembered what my real purpose was; red embarrassment flooded my cheeks and all I can do was bow my head and hand him with both hands outstretched the album that he’s supposed to sign.

“What’s your name?” his voice was like sweet butter but I’m the one who’s melting.

“C-c-chun Hei.” I choked on my own spit on and it had to happen right at this moment.

He quickly signed the album cover and gave it back to me. His penmanship , though, and he spelled my name as “Chun Hae”. I dug into the front pockets of my grey sweatshirt and produced a white ring box that I honestly borrowed from our grumpy neighbour. With shaking and sweaty hands, I handed him the box with the handmade metal earring that I personally crafted; almost similar to the fang-like earring he had on his left earlobe. The only difference was it had the word “WAIT” in it. He looked kind of pleased to see it, since he showed a ghost of a smile when he removed it from the box.

The chant in my head, however, was ‘Please give me back the box. Please give me back the box. Please give me back the box. Or Jun-ah ahjjuma will slit my neck.’

But he didn’t.

I forced my pride down my throat and hid it my inside lungs.

“Oppa, I’m sorry, but can I have the box back?”

“What?”

“Can I please have the box back?”

“Oh, sure. And kamsahamnida.” I was blessed with a smirk but his slightly wrinkled nose tells me that he’s pretty much baffled why I put a gift inside a box if I’m just going to take it back anyway.

This is the moment when I want to ground to open up and send me quickly through Earth’s mantle then into its core, then probably bring me to the other side of the planet, which will eventually push me out to outer space. For five whole hellish seconds, I stood like a frozen duck and my soul came back when he gestured to the next fan behind me. I slowly backed off and unconsciously bowed continuously until I reached the door.

Destiny and chance failed me when I wished to look and act smart in this particular day.

Nice. Now, Jonghyun thinks I’m an idiot.

[Jonghyun POV]

I feel so drained today. We’ve been running all around the place for the past 3 weeks and my insomnia devours all of my oomph. I absentmindedly signed the albums that our fans hand me, and I feel guilty for sharing close to none view of my teeth.

I was waiting for this particular fan to make me sign but she seemed to have zoned out. I let out an internal chuckle because if I were her, I’d feel like that too. I cocked my head to the side to look even cuter and as I expected, she was dazzled and color flushed her pale cheeks. Oh dear, my charms and I never get old.

With the grey and baggy sweatshirt she’s wearing, you can’t notice at first that she’s actually okay-looking. She had her brown hair put up in a lazy and loose ponytail, she barely had make-up on but what really caught my attention were her B.D.J doll-like eyes; they literally look so bulgy and full.

I signed her album and she handed me a white box. I smiled a little. I’m not sure if I’d be offended thinking whether she’s fed up of this same earring I had since I don’t know when, or be thankful because somehow, she recognizes that I like this style and made me almost the same one. It had the word “wait” which makes zero sense but I like it, nevertheless.

“Oppa, I’m sorry, but can I have the box back?” What the hell? Hahaha. Is she joking?

“What?”

“Can I please have the box back?”

“Oh, sure, and kamsahamnida.” I hope I hid my stifled laugh well. Like a frozen duck, she just stood there, smiling awkwardly. I glanced to the next fan to send the message across that she needs to go. Thankfully, she came back to her senses but she bowed, still facing me, like a Maneki-neko’s hand; up down, up down, up down and she didn’t stop until she reached her way out.

Oh, well.

I’m pretty sure she’s an idiot.