Kyuhyun POV

Time move very slow in my life, I see the nurses running in and out from the emergency room. And it make me crazy… I look at my mother, she was sitting on the bench, hands hold together, praying. Sungmin didn’t wake up at all when we bring him here, I’m worried… I’m afraid that something will happen to him and my baby. Oh God… please… don’t let anything bad happen to them…

“Kyunie… I love you…”

“Don’t ever leave me… because I can’t live without you”

“I-I’m afraid… umma and appa was gone… I’m afraid, Kyu… I don’t want to be alone…”

I shake my head when I feel the dizziness come to me. What was that? Is it some of my memories? Me and Sungmin… I look at the closed door in front of me, did you feel afraid right now Sungmin-ah? I’m sorry I couldn’t remember you… I’m sorry for leaving you… but Sungmin-ah even though I’m not by your side… you are not alone… I’m here… I’m waiting for you… so, please be okay…

Two pair of footsteps sound bring me to the real world. I look up and see that appa and noona was running toward us. “What happened?” appa said, I can sense some worried on his voice. Noona come to my mother and hug her tightly, letting out all of her worried on her. I can hear some sobs come out from the both of them.

I closed my eyes tightly. I couldn’t see that… I don’t want to see the crying… “Sungmin…” I started, oh God… how could I tell them about it? They… I…

“What happen to Sungmin?”

“I’m sorry… it’s all my fault” I lowered my gaze, I couldn’t look at his face right now. I feel so ashamed. I couldn’t take care them. I couldn’t take care of my family… I make him suffered like this… I’m sorry…

“What did you do?” he said calmly but I know that he was mad at me. After what I did to Sungmin a few months ago, I know that he wouldn’t forgive me if something happen to him right now.

“I… I ignore him this morning… I didn’t talk to him at all… I wouldn’t want to see him. I think I he was the one who make me break up with Seo––“ I feel pain on my cheek and my mother gasp from behind. I look up and found my father glaring at me, he was really mad. I hold my cheek… he slap me…

“What did you do Cho Kyuhyun!! Didn’t you feel guilty at all!! He is your wife!! He carried your child! how could you treat him like that!! You make him suffered these past months!! Didn’t it enough for you!! Or you will feel satisfied after he was die!!!”

“Appa!!!” I see noona was standing beside him, holding her hand to her chest, “Don’t say something like that, appa… Sungminnie will be alright… he will survive…” tears falling from her eyes, she hug father and buried her face on his shoulder, muffling some sobs that come out from .

I couldn’t take it anymore… because of my foolishness I could lose them… my family… my baby… and Sungmin… I feel my legs weaken. I kneel in front of them, face down… I couldn’t hold it anymore. I want them to survive. I don’t want to lose any of them. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry…”

I feel someone pat me on my shoulder and rub it lightly, “Don’t tell that to us… tell it to Sungmin. He was the one who hurting because of this…”

She hug me tightly, sometime sniffling in my shoulder but she rub my back and my hair. As if telling me to keep calm… “Noona…” please God… I won’t hurt him again this time… please save them…

Sungmin-ah… I’m sorry…

Baby-ah… please forgive your father…

***

The emergency room door opened. We rushed to the doctor side after we see he come out from the room, the doctor look at us carefully before let out a huge sigh, everything will be alright, right? “He already come out from his critical state. We can move him to the patient room right now” the doctor look at us intensely, “But I have to talk with his husband about something”

“I’m his husband” I said, The doctor look at me before ask me to follow him. The walk to the doctor room was really heart wrenching. I feel that something isn’t right. I couldn’t ignore the pit on my stomach. I really couldn’t ignore the uneasiness. The doctor could tell about Sungmin condition in front of my family, right? Why did he have to ask me to come with him? Is something bad happen to Sungmin and my baby?

“Please take a seat” I sit in front of the doctor. He opened some file before look at me again, “Mr. Cho… actually there is something important that I need to discussed with you”

“What is it? They are okay, right? There’s nothing wrong with Sungmin and my baby, right?” I bombarded him with my question. I need to let out of my stress. I need to know that they are okay.

“Actually… their condition was unstable”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“There’s too much stress on his body. I already read his medical record and I know that his pregnancy has a lot of risk. An unstable mental health could make him miscarriage. And today… he nearly goes into that”

“You mean we… we lost the baby?”

“No… it’s not like that. We still can save the both of them but I’m afraid if there was a lot of stress on his body he would get miscarriage and it will be so bad for him. Seeing his condition right now, I’m sure that he can’t keep the baby” the doctor look at me, it make me want to get out and run away. I don’t want to hear what he will say… I don’t want to hear it… “I suggest you to abort the baby”

“Wh-what?”

“His condition right now couldn’t support him to keep the baby. He isn’t strong enough for that. The stress that consume him right now make his health dropped and it affect the baby. What happened earlier was a prove of that. The pain on his stomach tell us that it can’t bear with the baby anymore. As his medical record said, if his condition was healthy and his mental and emotional were stable, his body will be so strong to face the changes during his pregnancy but if he wasn’t… it would be dangerous for him. I’m afraid that if he keep the baby with his condition right now, the chance for him to survive will be so thin… nearly zero”

“There must be another way, right? We can’t just lose the baby like that!”

“Seeing your wife condition, it was the best solution that we can give. But everything is up to you right now Mr. Cho, whether to keep the baby or not but please consider his condition too”

I sit on the waiting room. I don’t know how to tell about this to Sungmin… oh God… I lean my head on the bench in front of me. I couldn’t stop the tears that fall from my eyes… I don’t want to lose Sungmin… but I don’t want to lose the baby too… I love the both of them. Oh God…

I feel someone rubbing my shoulder; I look at my side and found my father sitting beside me, “Appa… what should I do…”

“Kyuhyun-ah…”

“What should I do, appa…? I don’t want to lose either of them” I lowered my gaze, gripping on the bench tightly. It hurt… imagining my life without them… I don’t want it… I don’t want… I want them to be alive… to live with me…

“You have to be strong, Kyu… I don’t know what happen but being a husband and a father, you should be so strong in front of your family. You can’t cry in front of them, you can’t show them your weakness. I know you can do it, Kyu… I know… even if the problem was so hard, you have to be strong. You have us… me, your mother and Ahra who will support you…”

“Appa… please… let me cry this time… I won’t cry again…” my father just rub my back making my tears to fall harder than before. I have to be strong! For my baby… and Sungmin…

“What did the doctor said to you?” I lowered my gaze even more, clutching my chest tightly. It hurts here… I don’t want to remember that… please… wake me up from this dream…

***

When I walk into Sungmin’s room, he was still sleeping peacefully, like nothing could disturb him from his sleep. “Kyuhyun-ah…” I look at my side and found y mother was there. Seeing her concerned look make me want to cry, but I can’t… I can’t cry in front of them…

“Kyuhyun-ah what happened?” she put her hand on both of my cheek, make me look at her but I couldn’t… I close my eyes tightly before let go of her hand and approach the bed. I sit next to the bed, lacing my hand with Sungmin’s, “Kyuhyun-ah…” my mother rub my back softly. I know she was curious about what the doctor said to me but I can’t… I can’t tell them right now… because I don’t want it to happen…

I lowered my gaze and shake my head slowly, she caress my hair and kiss the top of my head, “We leave you two alone…” she caress my arms before I hear the door closed.

I look at him, he was so pale… he look so exhausted… so different from yesterday… I don’t want to see him like this. I want to see his smile again… I want him to happy.

‘It was your fault Kyu… you foolish’ a voice on my head said. Yeah… it was my fault. If I treat him better, if I believe in him he wouldn’t be like this. I caress his hair and kiss his forehead, oh God… I miss this… I don’t know why but I miss him so much… Sungmin-ah… please wake up…

“Engh…” I look down, his eyes opened slowly. I sit on the chair again, didn’t want him to freak out because seeing my face so close to him. I hold his hand tighter when I see him blinking his eyes slowly. He look at me and smile weakly, “Kyu…” his voice was hoarse. I take a glass of water without let go of his hand. He was about to get up but he flinched.

“You okay?” I help him to sit up, pile up the pillow to make him feel more comfortable.

He look at me and smile. Ah… how could you smile at me like this Sungmin-ah… I was the one who make you suffering like this… “It’s okay Kyu… just a little hurt on my stomach”

“I suggest you to abort the baby”

“...What happened earlier was a prove of that. The pain on his stomach tell us that it can’t bear with the baby anymore…”

How should I tell him about this… I don’t want to see him sad. Will he be okay if I tell him that? What if he can’t take it? I hold his hand tighter, I don’t want to lose him… but I don’t want to lose the baby too, “Kyu…”

I look up, he look so worried. He bring his hand to my cheek and caress it softly, I just close my eyes, enjoying what he did to me. Somehow it make me calmer. “What happen, Kyu…? You look so disturbed”

“Nothing…”

“You lying… I know you Kyu… you can’t lie to me…”

I take a deep breath and let it go slowly before opened my eyes and look at his. I can do this… “Sungmin-ah… what if… what if you can’t keep the baby anymore…”

“What did you say that, Kyu… I’ll keep the baby”

“It’s not that, Sungmin-ah… the doctor said that your health was dropped. They afraid that something bad will happen to you if you are keeping the baby…” his hands dropped from my cheek, I look at him, holding his hand into mine. “They ask us to abort the baby…” I whispered. His eyes widened then tears start to fall from his eyes.

He let go of my hand and covering his ears, “I don’t want to abort the baby!!” he shouted, “I’ll keep the baby!! Don’t let them to take my baby away from me!!”

I hold his head, make him to look at me but he close his eyes tightly, “Sungmin-ah… just listen to me… it dangerous to keep the baby…”

“I don’t want!!!” he yelled once again. Sungmin-ah… don’t make it harder for us…

Normal POV

Kyuhyun was confused. He doesn’t know what to do. Sungmin keep shouting again and again. Kyuhyun bring his hand to Sungmin shoulder, “Sungmin-ah…”

“I don’t want it Kyu!!! I don’t want to abort the baby!! I don’t care if I––“ Sungmin eyes widened when he feel a soft lips covering his own. The kiss was gentle, as if telling him to stop… to listen… his hands drop to his side and clutch to the blanket tightly. After a while, Kyuhyun break the kiss. “Kyunie…”

“Please Sungmin-ah… listen to me…” he whispered. Sungmin look down before nodded his head, “We don’t have another way… I know it was hard for you… because I feel the same, that was my baby and I don’t want to lose it too. I love it as much as you do” Kyuhyun caress Sungmin hair before it got down to his cheek, “But I don’t want to lose you either” Sungmin head snapped up, his eyes were teary, “I don’t know why… but I don’t want to lose you, Sungmin-ah…”

Kyuhyun wipe the tears away from Sungmin face before he pull him into a tight hug. Sungmin encircling his hand on Kyuhyun, he lean his head on Kyuhyun shoulder. Smelling the sweet scent of his husband, “But… I want our baby to be born… I want to see it grown up…”

Kyuhyun tighten his hug, putting his mouth near Sungmin ear, “I know… I want that too… but I can’t lose you either…”

“I promise you I won’t be like this again… I promise you that I wouldn’t leave you… so please… let me keep the baby, Kyu…”

“Sungmin-ah…”

Sungmin pulled his body away from Kyuhyun and look at him in the eyes, “I promise Kyu…” seeing the hopeful look from him Kyuhyun let out a huge sigh before nodded his head. Sungmin dive to Kyuhyun’s body and hug it tightly, “Thank you, Kyu… I love you…” They stay on that position until Kyuhyun let out a soft yawn, “You need to sleep, Kyu…”

“No… I’m okay…” but the yawn still come out again.

Sungmin chuckled, rubbing Kyuhyun hair lovingly, “You tired… you need to sleep” he pull away, caressing Kyuhyun hair. Kyuhyun sighed before sit on his seat and find a comfortable position for him to sleep. He was about to lay his head on the bed but Sungmin tugged his hand. He look up just to find that Sungmin was move further, leaving some empty spot on the bed. “Come… I’m sure that it’ll be uncomfortable for you to sleep there” he said patting the empty spot.

“Sungmin-ah…”

“Kyu…” Sungmin pouting his lips, arm crossed on his chest. He surely wouldn’t lose on Kyuhyun and sometime… Sungmin was more stubborn than him. Kyuhyun get up from his seat and slid on the bed, make sure that Sungmin still have the larger spot than him. He look down, seeing Sungmin awkwardly clutching on his shirt before let it go after a while. He look up when he hear Kyuhyun chuckled. Again… he pouting his lips, his face flushed, “Can I…?” he whispered.

Knowing what he want to say, Kyuhyun pull Sungmin to his body and hug him tightly, “Sleep, Sungmin-ah… you need to rest”

Sungmin buried his head on Kyuhyun chest, listening to the thumping sound from Kyuhyun chest, “Kyunie… you won’t leave me, right?”

Kyuhyun hug him tighter, kissing on the top of Sungmin’s head, “I won’t… so sleep okay... I’ll be here when you wake up”

Sungmin nodded his head and close his eyes. It was the happiest day in his life because he can sleep on Kyuhyun embrace once again. With that last thought, he drift into his slumber.

***

When Sungmin open his eyes on the next day, he can feel a strong arms encircling on his waist and his face was buried on that person chest. He smile when he remember what happened on the other day, he buried his head deeper, clutching on the other shirt tightly, he take a sweet scent of that person before drift again into slumber.

When he open his eyes for the second time, there was no one beside him, just an empty spot. Loneliness feeling his heart, tears start to fall from his eyes when he think that maybe everything that happened yesterday was just his sweet dreams. He roll his body to the right, buried his face on the pillow, letting his tears to fall and wet it. he didn’t hear when the door opened and someone approaching him.

Kyuhyun put the bag on the nightstand and sit on the edge of the bed. He caress Sungmin’s hair lovingly, thinking that the other was still asleep but he frown when he hear a sob coming from him. “Sungmin-ah…” Sungmin rolled his body, he was facing Kyuhyun now. Kyuhyun shift closer, wiping the tears away from Sungmin cheek, “Hey… what’s wrong?”

“Kyu…” he cry harder, hugging Kyuhyun waist and buried his face on Kyuhyun hips, “I-I thought yo-you are g-gone…”

Kyuhyun chuckled, rubbing Sungmin arms to calm him, “I’m right here…I just go out for a while to buy some food for you” Sungmin let go of Kyuhyun and let him to help him to sit on the bed. He flinched when he feel his stomach was hurting, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Kyuhyun, “You okay? Is it still hurt? Should I call the doctor?”

“No… it’s okay…” he hold Kyuhyun hand and smile brightly but it didn’t make the worried look disappear from Kyuhyun face, Sungmin pouting his lips and tug at his hand, “You said you buy me some food for me, where? I’m hungry~”

Kyuhyun laughed seeing the look on Sungmin face, he pinch Sungmin cheek lightly, “Okay… okay… I’ll prepare it for you…” he get up and open the bag. After a while he sit back on the edge of the bed and handed the bowl to Sungmin, “Here”

“Porridge?” Sungmin asked after he look at his food, he pout his lips more, “I thought it was something special”

“The doctor said that you better eat some porridge for a while”

Sungmin take the spoon and eat it. After a while he stopped, looking at Kyuhyun who was staring at him, “You want to eat too?” Kyuhyun shake his head, no. Sungmin was about to eat it again but he stop midway, “Kyu… is there chocolate paste in that bag?”

“Chocolate paste?” he nodded his head happily, “You want that?” again he nodded his head, “Wait for a while okay… I’ll buy it for you”

“Kyu…”

“Hm?”

“I want strawberry milk too”

“Ne… I’ll buy it to you…” he get up from his seat and walk out from the room.

Sungmin put the bowl on the night stand, he lean on the pile up pillow. He bring his hand to his stomach and rub it lovingly, “Chagi-ah… are you happy? Appa was taking care of us again…” he chuckled, “Umma and appa wouldn’t let them to take you away from us, chagi… umma promise that umma will stay healthy for you so you can born healthily and grow up happily with us”

Kyuhyun POV

After searching for the chocolate paste on the canteen, I walk back to Sungmin’s room with a plastic bag on my hand. I see him watching the TV, I smile slightly and approach him. I pull a chair next to his bed and sit. Ah… finally… my legs was sore…

“Here” I handed him the plastic bag and he take it happily.

“Thank you!” he said happily. He take out the chocolate paste from it, “Could you open it for me?” he said when he found some difficulty to open it. I ruffled his hair before I take it and open it. “Here… but you have to eat the porridge first before eating it okay?” I handed the bowl to Sungmin, keeping the chocolate paste in me. I don’t want him to get stomachache because he ate a chocolate paste early in the morning.

“But~ I wanna eat it now!!” Sungmin look at me pleadingly. Sigh… I could never win over this… and at the end, I lose. I handed the chocolate paste to him. Sungmin pour the paste to his porridge happily before eat the porridge. I look at him, surprised. How could he eat them like that? “Umm… it’s nice~~” he said happily. I look at the bowl on his hand, how could something like that was so nice?

“S-Sungmin-ah…”

He look at me with his doe eyes, but then a smile plastered on his face, “You want some?” I quickly shake my head; I don’t want to taste it!! But again… he look at me pleadingly, I feel so safe when I feel my phone vibrated. I take it out but quickly press the reject button when I see the caller-ID, it was Seohyun.

“Who?” he ask me curiously, he titled his head to his side, make him look cuter than before.

“No one… I don’t recognize the number”

He nodded his head but then he look at me once again, sigh… it looks like he still remember what he will do to me, “Kyunie have to try it~~ it’s really nice” he said, offering a spoon of his porridge. I look at him but he just staring back at me, I sighed hard and take it to my mouth. “It’s nice right?”

“E-eh…” he smile wider and continue to eat his special porridge. Oh God… that was the most horrible porridge that I ever taste! How could you feed our baby with something like that Sungmin-ah!

***

“Really Kyunie… auntie and uncle were really happy when I told them that I was pregnant. They said that we have to go to Japan sometime” he laughed a bit, “Well… maybe after the baby was born…?”

“Yeah… we will visit you auntie after the baby was born, hm? Or should we invite them to go to Korea?” Sungmin look at me, his eyes brightened. I love seeing him like this, full of happiness.

“We should do that, Kyu!! Auntie must be really happy… I’ll call her later then” I ruffled his hair lightly, he pouted his lips, feeling annoyed because of that but I just do that again and again.

“Kyunie!” he yelled, arms cross on his chest, his hair was messy and to make it cuter, he was pouting at me, “Don’t do that! I’m not a child!”

“But you look like a child… especially when you are pouting like that. You look so childish, Minnie” he look surprised at first before smiling brightly, “Why are you smiling so suddenly?”

“Finally…” he whispered. Finally what? What did I do? I look at him confusedly he launched himself into me and hug me tightly, “Finally you call me Minnie” he whispered. So what happen if I call him Minnie? Ah… is that…? “Minnie was your nickname to me… Minnie and Kyunie” ah… Minnie, huh? Hehe it so him. Minnie… I smiled and hug him tighter. I’ll call you Minnie from now on…

“Kyunie…”

“Hm?”

“You won’t leave me even after the baby was born, right? You will be with me to take care of our child together right?”

I hug him tighter… I don’t know what should I say… he asking about this again… I... ‘Just tell him what you really want’ he was about to pull away but I hug him tighter, “Ne Minnie-ah… I promise you that we’ll be together forever”

“Oppa” oppa? I frowned, did he call me oppa too? It’s weird… but then Sungmin pull away from me and back away. I look at my back and find Seohyun was standing on the doorway. So she was the one who call me oppa earlier? Did she see what I do with Sungmin?

I get up from my seat an approach her, “Seo… who told you that I was here?”

“I call you earlier but you reject it. Why oppa?” why? ‘Because you don’t want Sungmin to get hurt… you don’t want his health drop because of this’ a voice on my mind said. “I already told you yesterday that he was so evil, right? He make us break up and I know that he will do it again now! You can’t just believe in him like that, oppa”

“Seo…”

“I’m disappointed on you, oppa. I know you are kind hearted but don’t let him to make fun of you like that! He will use the baby to make us separated!”

“Seohyun…”

She hold my hand and drag me away from the room, but I stop. I look at my back, Sungmin was looking down, he clutched the blanket tightly… I hold her hand; make her to look at me, “Oppa! Don’t tell me that you believe in him!! I’m your girlfriend oppa! I know everything!”

She tugged my hand, trying to make me go with her but I won’t, “Seohyun” I said softly but I know that she will hear it. He keep pulling my hand, trying so hard to make me move from my spot, “Seo Juhyun!”

She stop, looking at me with shocked look, “Oppa…”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t go with you… I’m really sorry Seohyun… I’m sorry that I can’t be with you anymore. Seohyun… I’m sorry… but I can’t continue our relationship…”

“Don’t tell me that you believe in him” she look at me before walk past me but I stop her, “What did you do to him!!” she yelled, “You !! What did you say to him to make him believe at you like this!!”

“Seohyun!!!”

She look at me, “I know you don’t want to do this!! I know you don’t want to break up with me!! We love each other oppa!!! And you know that!! He was the one who make us break up in the past and I would never let it to happen again right now!! You can’t just believe in him like that!!! You have to believe me!! He is lying!!! What did he said to you that make you break up with me!!! What oppa!! What!!!”

“He didn’t say anything to me! I remember everything!”

Sorry for the really late update *bow*

I've been busy with college~~ *sigh hard*

But, finally! I've updated the next chapter of The Lost Memory~~

Enjoy the fic~~

Don't forget to comment and subscribe~~ ^^

See you on the next chapter~~

*wave hand and vanish like a ninja*

A/N:

First post at 11 December 2011

On fumiyo92's LiveJournal

Not Edited