6. The Goldfish.

“Yah LuHan wake up!” She kept shaking his body while crying. “LuHan…” She called his name quietly. Oh how she needed his comfort right now. The tears on her face needed to be washed away like the past and let the door open to the bright future.

“Hmmm.” He hummed in his sleep as he opened one of his eyes. He was going to ask what did she want, but what was in front of him, shocked him, scared him and made him wide his eyes and pull her into a hug. “Haneul what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” The tone of his voice… The way he called her name, was exactly like her father used to. The way he caressed her face and wiped away the tears that were flowing because her Teddy bear was missing.

“LuHan…” She called his name as she opened her eyes and started telling what was bothering her. But before that, she said what she felt. “I hate this. I hate it that I’m so weak. I hate it that I get scared easily. I hate it that I’m afraid of loosing who’s around me. I hate myself. I hate it…” She whispered the last part as LuHan kept telling her to stop crying and kept rubbing her back, giving her the comfort she needed all the time.

“Shhh don’t say that.” He said with his angelic voice that could make everyone fall asleep. “I’ll always be by your side. Waking up in the morning, telling you to stop crying because it was all just a dream.” Would it hurt if she said he was like an angel? Of course it wouldn’t. He was an angel sent from heaven to her. Someone who can help her and accompany her whenever she truly needs it. She’s selfish, she not arrogant, she not using him! Hell, she would never think something was bad even if it could be obvious, even if someone shouted it at her face. She was too kind, too good, too beautiful at heart to think of bad things. And of course she would never think of using him. Even though she just wished, for a single moment, she hoped, he… LuHan, would be by her side forever.

“I saw a nightmare. I’m afraid LuHan. What if it’s actually real?” She confessed after she calmed herself, while looking deeply inside his eyes, searching for an answer. An answer that could prove she was wrong.

“Talk to me… Tell me what you saw. Maybe I can help.” He said while smiling as he her hair while she sat on his lap, his back resting on the wall while he was sitting on the bed. He remembered they had school, but it wouldn’t hurt to skip the first lesson, would it? Safety and health comes first after all.

“My parents gave me a goldfish as a present when I was little. They told me it will give me luck and it will help me every time I need someone and my parents won’t be there. So I have been keeping it, even now. I left him at the pond so he could get some friends and have a family. But in the dream I saw he was dead and I got scared. I don’t want him to die… He’s the only thing that reminds me of my parents and makes me feel safe.”

“So that’s who you talk to at the pond.” LuHan said with a smile on his lips. He patted her head and smiled wider. “Nothing will be your side though… Everyone will leave and so will I one day. That’s how life is. No one sticks at the same place. Some change place for a better life and some are taken away by Mother Nature. If your goldfish might’ve died… Then I’m sure he lived a happy life and I’m sure he wants the best for you like your parents do.” Haneul’s face became blank. Her parents… the goldfish… LuHan? Will both of them leave her too? Will she end up alone? With no one by her side.

This life is so cruel.

She thought. Tears started forming on her eyes and they widened.

“LuHan!” She shouted and turned her attention towards him. “Let’s go to the pond. Please!” She begged while holding into his hands tightly.

He promised me he won’t let go. But I’m afraid… I’m afraid I’ll loose him too.

She held his hand ever so tightly; afraid he would soon leave her and forget about her.

Luhan, in the other hand, knew what she felt and he knew that both of them will never know what the future will bring. They might get separated from each other… Or they’ll be forever together.

Still, there’s one thing they both know. Leave the past, work for the present, dream for the future.

***

Unfortunately for Haneul, just as the dream she had seen, the goldfish was found dead in the middle of the little pond. Tears left her eyes and she whispered ‘I knew it.’ but she didn’t dare to say or do anything. She just hugged LuHan and thanked him for being by her side.

She wiped her tears and smiled at him. LuHan took the goldfish and helped Haneul burry it somewhere near the pond, where no one would molest him.

“Well… Goodbye Mr. Goldfish.” She said as a hand side hugged her.

“Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away. And going away means forgetting.” LuHan said and he kissed her head. She nodded and eye-smiled. This guy was incredible and she really felt lucky to meet someone like him.

When they finished what they had started, they went back home, got ready for school and walked their way to the big walls of the University of Foreign Languages.

Thank you, you and only you for everything. Because when I’ll need someone to be by my side, it will be you and only you, until fate decides to break us apart. –Haneul.