CHAPTER 14: Heartbreaks and Goodbyes

The academy decided to give the students two days of holiday for their hard work for the showcase. JaeMin, Miyong, JaeYoung, AeRa, Minji and B2ST members all hang out together at the cafe where Miyong work part time. Dujun and Miyong decided to tell their friends about their relationship. Nobody was more surprised than JaeMin. Since she was the last one to know about it among JaeYoung and AeRa. Dujun already told Jaeyoung about it earlier. AeRa on the other hand noticed them holding hands during the showcase.

But JaeMin was the one that jumped up and down with joy for Miyong. She hugged her so hard until Miyong was literally gasping for air. Everyone laughed at her.

"Yah! Are you trying to choke me to death?!" Miyong trying to breathe

"I'm so happy for you. Dujun oppa, jeongmal gomawoyo." Finally let go of Miyong. Dujun just smiled at her. "Dujun oppa, you don't how glad I am for seeing her finally have some light in her." She continued

"I know, I helped switched it on." Dujun joked

"(chuckled) Whatever you did, gomapseubnida." JaeMin gave him a 90 degree bow. Same as JaeYoung and AeRa.

"Cheon manaeyo" he bowed back.

"Another surprising thing was (she turned to look at JaeYoung and Minji)...you two. When did this happened? Why am I always the last to know these things?" JaeMin asked

"It happened before the showcase. I didn't had time to tell you, because you were rehearsing with Yoseob." JaeYoung explained

JaeMin gave Jaeyoung and Miyong a hug.

"So much love in air. I can't stand it. We should celebrate or something. My treat!." AeRa spoke out

"AeRa ah, I'm starting to like you." Junhyung said. Taking the menu right away.

After they ordered, they found a table by the window that could fit all 11 of them. Dujun and Miyong never let go of each other's hand, Dujun would Miyong's hair, JaeYoung and Minji kept teasing each other. Minji kept hitting JaeYoung. Everyone laughed when JaeYoung said he wants to buy a full body suit protection when he is around Minji.

While everyone was busy talking to whoever's beside them, AeRa's phone rang. It was Nichkhun.

"Yeobuseyo? Oppa! Where are you?" AeRa greeted him happily

"You promised that you would hang out with me today." Her expression changes

"You can't make it tonight too? You're busy?" AeRa looked like she wanted to cry

"Arasseo." AeRa just looked at her phone after she hung up.

Gikwang who was sitting beside her, overheard her conversation.

"Neol gwaenchana?" he asked

"The last time I saw him was the second day of showcase. He's always neglecting me. They are all busy with preparing for their debut." AeRa explained

"I don't think he is neglecting you. If he does, he wouldn't care to give you a call. but he did." Gikwang comforted her. Even though Gikwang didn't like Nichkhun, he wanted to see AeRa happy.

"What's the point of having a boyfriend, if I can't even see him?" AeRa was holding back her tears.

"You said he was busy preparing for his debut. Try to understand his situation. I'm not on his side or anything and you know that I'm not either, but try to put yourself in his shoe." Gikwang put his arms on her shoulder.

"I guess you're right. (phew!)" AeRa let go a deep breath "Alright, today is a happy day for my friends, I can't be the one bursting everyone's bubble." She continued. "Gomawo Gikwang ah." AeRa smiled at him

"No problem." Gikwang smiled back at her.

"Can I have everyone's attention please?" JaeMin who was sitting in the middle, suddenly spoke out, which made Yoseob was sitting beside her all surprised. "Does anyone have plans for this Christmas?" Everyone at the table started talking amongst themselves. "Like every Christmas, we, as in JaeYoung oppa, Miyong, AeRa and I will have a little Christmas eve party. Each of us would make a dish and we would exchange gifts with each other. For this year, it's AeRa's turn to host the party. Are you all up for it?" JaeMin looked all excited.

"Mianhaeyo, I can't join you guys. I already promised my family." Dongwoon said.

"Gwaenchanhayo. There's always next time." JaeMin said.

"Since there are so many of us, I suggest that we exchange gifts with our showcase partner. I think everyone grew a little closer to each other." Dujun said while looking at Miyong.

"Of course you would say that. Then what happen to Hyunseungie and I?" Junhyung asked.

"You guys are the perfect couple for this Christmas." Yoseob joked.

"Gwaenchana hyung, we will be a loving couple." Hyunseung put his arms on Junhyung shoulder.

"Gomawo, y!" Junhyung put his hands on Hyunseung's cheeks.

Everyone was laughing at Junhyung and Hyunseung getting all lovey-dovey with each other.

"Ok, so AeRa and Gikwang, JaeMin and Yoseob, JaeYoung and Minji,  Miyong and I and last but not least our most loving couple of all, Junhyungie and Hyunseungie will be exchanging gifts with each other and preparing a dish for our little party" Dujun applauded.

"Do we have to bring a dish too?" Hyunseung asked

"of course. No excuses." Dujun quickly answered.

Since the showcase, each and everyone of them got closer to each other. It wasn't an awkward or uncomfortable situation like before. Now, everyone are casually talking, some of them even fell for each other. It's weird how all of them come together. Maybe it's fate or maybe it was their love for performing that helps them find chemistry with each other.

.

After hanging out at the cafe, all of them part their separate ways, leaving JaeMin and Yoseob behind. Yoseob kept looking at JaeMin daydreaming.

"What are you thinking about?" Yoseob asked

"What to get my guardian angel for Christmas. It's not that easy." She turned to faced him

"(Chuckled) Guardian angel? Is it me?" He stood up, and sat in front of her.

"Yes. My guardian angel. If it wasn't for you, I could never perform at the showcase. I might still be all chicken." She smiled at him.

"Babo, I only gave you some speech, that was all your effort. You should give yourself a pat on the back." He complimented.

"Do you want to give me a hint?" JaeMin was trying to get a clue out of him.

"Surprise me..." He smiled at her. "JaeMin ah...I'm really proud of you. I love seeing you on the stage that night. But something's been bothering me..." Yoseob taking a sip from his drink.

"What is it?" JaeMin looking at him curiously

"You...at the end of the performance, you really stunned me. We didn't practice all of that. Where did that come from.? What were you thinking at that time?" Yoseob looked at her more intensely.

" (Blushed) I was happy that I am finally confident to be on stage. I was just grateful to you...and your heart was beating really fast, firecracker." JaeMin

"Because you gave me a shock. I didn't know how to act around you..." Yoseob defending himself

"Then what was that hug at the end?" JaeMin wasn't giving up.

"I have nothing to say about that." He took a big gulp from his drink. 

"You weren't all that innocent either." Lightly hit his head.

"(chuckled) But it all turned out great." Handing a tissue to JaeMin.

"Gomawo. Come on let's go. I want to show you a place."JaeMin took her bag and sling it over her shoulder and put on her jacket.

"Where are we going?" Yoseob also put on his jacket and his backpack.

JaeMin comfortably cling her arms with Yoseob.

"It's better to show you than to tell you. It's quite far from here, so, you shall be my driver today." JaeMin smiled at him.

"No problem, Kang JaeMin shi. Yang Yoseob driver at your service, for you only." Yoseob gave her a salute and open the door for her

"Kamsahamnida." JaeMin stepped in the car.

 

Yoseop (POV)

My happiness were off the roof today. I was so happy that I'm spending time with JaeMin. My heart was running wild when she cling her arm around mine. This girl is driving me insane. Does she even know that she is doing that to me? I was holding my composure the whole time. But inside I was screaming, jumping up and down like crazy.

I kept looking at her whenever she's not looking. Just to make sure if she's comfortable or not. 

"Why do you keep looking at me?" Taking a water bottle out from her bag.

"Are you comfortable? Are you cold? Do you need a blanket?" I asked

"Relax, I'm fine. Geogjeong ma." Sipping from the bottle. "Here drink some water." She handed me the bottle.

There was only one straw in the bottle, I wasn't sure if she was comfortable with me drinking from it.

"Just drink from the straw, babo. I don't carry any disease." As if she just read my mind.

"Gomapda. Is it still far away?" I asked.

"Maybe another 10 minutes we'll reach there." She open a mint candy and handed it to me.

"Mwogo" She fed it to me.

"You kinda remind me of my mom." I stopped at the red light then I looked at her.

"All of my friends says that too. It comes naturally to me. I try to be prepared." She said.

"I think it's cute." I smiled at her.

"That I remind you of your mom?" JaeMin opening her own candy.

"Aniya! Not that. I just think that it's cute when a girl is handy." The traffic light turned green.

JaeMin showed me the direction to the place that she wanted to show me. When I parked my car. JaeMin cling her arms with mine and we walked together. Once we turned right, I saw a big Christmas tree by the fountain. It was a white Christmas tree with Silver decorations all over it.

"The Christmas tree..." She said.

"Jjinja yeppeo." I was amazed.

"Every year they change the decorations. I guess this year they are going for white Christmas." We were standing in front of a huge fountain.

"Do you come here every Christmas?" I asked curiously

"I used to when my dad was still alive. I tried bringing my mom here, but she didn't want to, she said it would remind her of all the memories she had with my dad. So, it's been a while I came here. Before Christmas eve, the water will froze up, my dad would take the whole family and come here for ice skating." Her voice tone started to change.

"Why did you wanted to come this time?" I try studying her expression

"I miss this place, and I wanted to share it with you." She smiled a little while looking at the Christmas tree.

"Come on." I took her hand and brought her closer to the Christmas tree. "Let's take a picture. Your first and definitely not the last with me here, at this enormous Christmas tree." I took out my phone.

I put my arms on her shoulder and we took selcas after selcas of each other. Running up and down finding a good spot to take a picture. The men that were fixing the lights for the tree were looking at us, like we were crazy.

JaeMin was happy. Different from her usual happy self, she was like a carefree person, almost like a kid again. No worries, no sadness. It was a new JaeMin that I have never seen.

We were both finally tired, and we found a bench nearby to rest. We both shared a bottle of water and she handed me tissue to wiped of my sweat.

"Pigonhae. I feel like a kid again." Wiping the sweat of her forehead.

"This is a side of you that I've never seen... Gyeowo..." I said while gasping for air.

"I love this feeling. I missed this feeling. It's been a while." JaeMin smiling again.

"Do you want to come with me here on Christmas eve?" I asked her

"Jjinja?" Then JaeMin nodded her head

"It's a date then." I said.

She didn't reply to what I said. But both of us were smiling like fools. For her, because she came back to this place again. For me, I'm just happy to be by her side. Even though I was still unsure of how she felt about me. Is this her just being nice? Or does she have feelings for me too?. These are the questions that always playing in my head. She will do stuff that makes my heart beat twice as fast, but yet she never tells me how she feels about me. Maybe she still have feelings for Chansung, I thought to myself. How am I suppose to compare myself to him? He is tall, charming and not forgetting that he is a nice guy too. Most of the girls in the academy usually have a crush on guys like him. 

Our last performance, kept replaying in my head. The way she looked at me like she wanted to tell me something. The way she laid her head on my chest.  I wanted to kiss her instead of hugging her that night. Every time I'm around her, I always have to hold my composure. But inside I'm like a live volcano, that's about to burst at any time.

"What are you thinking about firecracker?" She asked suddenly

"Nothing much...What do you want for Christmas?" I looked at her, her nose were getting pink from the cold weather. "Jamkkan" I took off my beanie to cover her head and cover her neck with her scarf.

"Gomapda. Hmmm....What do I want for Christmas? I want a trip to Hawaii..." My eyes were wide open hearing what she said. "I'm kidding, I should've taken picture of your reaction... actually, you already got me a present. Taking me here, ice skating is the best present I can ask for... But I have another request, will you sing a Christmas song for me on Christmas eve?" She did the typical batting eyelashes while looking at me with her pink nose. This girl gonna make me admit myself in the psych ward.

"Sure no problem, I will be your personal singer that night." I replied.

"Seobbie ah...I'm happy having you beside me, seating here, at my most favorite place during Christmas... I can't ask for more from you. You've done so much for me, I really don't know how to repay you." She held my hand with her gloves on.

" (You could be my girlfriend, I thought to myself. I didn't dare to say it out loud.) JaeMin ah...Do you still have feelings for Chansung sunbae?" I asked boldly

"I'm not sure. He's been really nice to me, and I still care for him. I don't know." She was shivering from the cold.

"You're shivering, come on let's go, you starting to look like frosty the snowman." I held her hand and walked back to the car.

We stopped by some street vendor to fill our hungry stomach. After that, we're on a ride home. She fell asleep in the car, I tucked her in with her blanket.

Once we've arrived at her house, I saw Chansung sunbae waiting for her in front of her house. I started to get worried again. What was the reason for him to be here? I didn't want to drop her off, instead I wanted to drive her far away from her house. JaeMin woke up, before I could decide anything.

"Sunbae is here!" She said excitedly

"You look excited." I said it with a frown. 

"I haven't seen him in a while." She opened the car door. "Firecracker, gomawo for today. It's been awesome! See you!" She gave me a hug and went out from the car and greeted Chansung sunbae.

"Annyeong" I waved goodbye

My mind was all over the place. I couldn't make myself to leave the two of them together. I wanted to know how she feels about him. I parked my car a little further from her house. I walked a little closer to watch. I've become Dujun know, spying in the bushes.

JaeMin (POV)

Looking at Chansung sunbae at the front of my house, made me excited. I haven't seen him for a while. After I said my goodbye to Yoseob, I quickly went over to greet him.

"Sunbaenim! Mwohaneungoyeyo yeogiseo?" I greet him

"I just wanted to see you." Chansung hugged me. His embraced was different than Yoseob's embrace. When Chansung sunbae hugged me it felt like a normal friendly hug but Yoseob's embrace was warm and fuzzy. It made me wanted to cuddle him even more.

"I thought you guys are busy. Don't you need to rehearse or anything?" I led him to a bench outside my house.

"We do, but it's break time. Thought I drop by for a visit." He said. "Did I ruined your date with Yoseob?" He asked

"It wasn't a date (blushed). We just went for a drive." I replied "Do you want to tell me anything sunbae? You look uneasy." I studied his worried expression. All of sudden, he started wiping off the tears running down his cheeks.

"Sunbaenim, gwaenchanhayo?" I started to get worried. I've never seen him like this before.

"JaeMin ah...I will miss you." Trying to force a smile 

"Waeyo? Are you going somewhere?" I asked curiously

"The members and I have to go to the states soon. We're meeting some producers and choreographers there. It takes probably about a year, flying back and forth from Korea to the States." He said with a soft tone to his voice.

"States?...You should be happy, it's a big opportunity for you guys." I answered. Not knowing how to feel about it. I was happy for him but I was also sad that I might not be able to see him that often in the academy.

"Even though I said that we would just be friends, it's hard to let you go. It's hard to be not able to talk to you often." He looked at me when he said that.

"It'll be hard not to have anyone to shove Hyun Ae aside..." I joked.

"(chuckled) Have you told Yoseob yet? That you have feelings for him? You know that you're driving him crazy now right?" He asked

"What do you mean I'm driving him crazy?" I asked curiously

"He doesn't know you feel about him. Every minute that he spends with you, make him crazy. Trust me, I've been there done that. He might be thinking right now that you still have a crush on me or something from the look on his face earlier..." Chansung replied

"Well I still do...you kinda took me by surprised the other day when you confessed to me. I didn't even have a clue that you even like me. But the more I spend time with Yoseob, I can't explain it..." Sunbae stop me before I finished my sentence.

"Ok, let me just stop you right there. There's no one around, spill everything to me. Tell me what you really think about him...C'mon spill." Sunbae was looking at me intensely

"I love it when he sings. Whenever he sings he draws me in light a moth to a flame. Whenever I'm with him, he's a ball of light, he makes me happy. He encouraged me to get on that stage to perform. The way he believes in me makes me even nervous but at the same time I didn't want to disappoint him. I wanted to show him that I can get up on that stage and perform, and I know that even if I froze or messed up, he will still be there for me, to comfort me and to wipe my tears away. It's weird that I feel this way about him, at first I just thought that we would become partners, but I never knew that I would have these feelings for him." Trying to keep my tears from falling, it was the first time I revealed how I felt about Yoseob. It wasn't sad tears but it was more like 'I finally realized how much Yoseop meant to me' tears. "But just now, I was actually excited to see you." I continued

"You were excited because we haven't seen other for quite some time. It's not because you like me more than Yoseob. The crush that you had on me was a one time thing, I was too late. I guess we're meant to be friends." He looked at me.

"Sunbaenim..." Holding my tears in.

"Like you said... You're attracted to him like a moth to a flame. Don't make him wait too long." Chansung said with a soft tone. 

"Sunbaenim, mianhaeyo." I couldn't keep the tears in. Chansung pulled me into his embrace.

"Aigoo, uri JaeMinie...Jjinja baboya. Just tell him how you feel about him. It's time that he knows. Look I have to go soon..." Looking at his watch

"Are you leaving right away?" I wiped my tears away.

"Not right now... tonight. I need to go pack my stuff." He looked at me again. "You're meant for each other. Too bad it's not with me but...Yoseop was a fair fight." He joked. I hit his chest. "Ouch!" He rubbed his chest from the pain.

"Gomawoyo sunbaenim. For everything that you've done for me." I said. "Don't forget me once you get all famous." I .

"Arasseo arasseo. I wouldn't dare to. It's not that I'm leaving forever. We can still tweet each other. Go tell him okay. I want to see you both together all lovey-dovey when I come back" He hugged me again. "JaeMinie...Annyeong. Take a good care of yourself." He lightly kissed my forehead and then let me go from his embrace.

"Ye, algilseubnida. Take care sunbaenim." Chansung waved the last time, and went into the van.

I stood there watching the van leave. Thinking about what Chansung just told me. When should I tell Yoseop?

Yoseop (POV)

I couldn't hear what were they talking about. All I can see is their body language. Is she confessing to Chansung? Are they confessing to each other? Why are they hugging so much? Why is JaeMin crying? Why is Chansung kissing her forehead?! The jealousy in me was driving me insane.

I can't bare to watch any longer, as soon as I saw Chansung left, part of me wants to walk right up to her and ask her what was that all about but part of me was scared of what she might say. I decided to just leave, It's not my place to tell her who she should and shouldn't like. 

All I could do was to be happy for her with whatever choices she makes.

AeRa (POV)

I was missing Nichkhun badly. The more time we spent apart from each other the more distant we get. I'm not blaming him for being busy, but I just want a little attention from him, just to know that he actually still cares for me. A short call, a text saying he misses me or anything. I started becoming the fool who waits by the phone, waiting for their boyfriend to call.

Every time I text him...

"Khunnie! I miss you badly. How's your training? You must be tired. Have you had any proper meals? Don't forget to eat ok? Miss you!"

Nichkhun's typical reply to my text is...

"Ok. Thanks."

Even though he did reply, but it hurts me even more when I see him replying with just 'Ok. Thanks' instead of saying 'I miss you too. Don't worry about me, I'm fine here. See you soon!"

I kept walking and walking, not focusing on a specific direction. Gikwang was by my side, not saying a word but just keeping me company. I finally sat down on the park bench.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Gikwang finally speak out.

".........." I was dazed out

"Yah! Are you sleep walking?" He waved his hands in front of my eyes

"Oh? Mianhae..." I finally gave him a respond

"We've been walking for over an hour...Do you want anything to drink?" Gikwang asked

"Ani." I said

"Don't go anywhere. I'll go get us hot coffee." Gikwang went to the nearest vendor he could find at the park.

Gikwang (POV)

I hated seeing her like that. She had to pretend to be all happy in front of her friends, just because she didn't want them to worry about her. After the lunch, instead of heading home, AeRa asked me to accompany her for a walk.

I already know what's bothering her, just by the look of her face. 

"Here, drink it while it's hot." I handed her the hot coffee.

"Gomawo." She took the cup in her hands, but didn't drink from it.

"You wanna tell me what's bothering you?" I sat down beside her.

"You already know."  Looking at her coffee.

"You want me to call up JaeMin, JaeYoung and Miyong?" I wanted her friends to be by her side. I didn't know how to comfort her.

"Gwaenchana. I don't want to ruin everyone's happy mood." She said. Taking a sip from her coffee.

Stubborn old me, send a text to each of them, even though she said not to.

"Hey guys, I'm with AeRa right now, I'm kinda worried about her, she's not being herself right now, I think she needs a little comforting. I think she need her best friend. Come over to the park not too far from the coffee shop."  I texted to JaeYoung, JaeMin and Miyong.

She turned and looked at me. I quickly hide my phone in my pocket before she notices anything.

"What do you think I should do?" She asked me suddenly. Tears were building up her eyes.

"I think you should meet up with him and have a talk. Tell him whatever you're thinking, whenever you're ready." I said. That's the only advice I could give her.

She took out her phone and started texting. Not too long, a text replied.

"Is that him?" I asked curiously

"Ye...I'm meeting him up." She picked up her bag and hung it on her right shoulder.

"Are you ready to talk to him? Do you want me to come with you?" She shook her head. She wiped her tears. It's probably the first time I saw her crying. I stood up and hugged her tightly.

AeRa just started crying. I saw JaeYoung, Miyong and JaeMin coming our way.

"Shhh...silly. Why are you crying? He hasn't said anything yet." Trying to comfort her.

"I'm just scared." I her hair.

"AERA ya!!" JaeYoung called out her name.

"You called them here?" She turned to look at me.

"I just thought you need them right now, even though you told me not to. Sorry." She lay her head on my chest.

"Gomapda." She was in my embraced again. I didn't want to let her go but I wasn't sure how to comfort her.

"What happened?" JaeMin put her arms around AeRa's shoulders. "Why is she crying?" JaeMin asked.

"I think you should hear it from her. I'll just leave you guys alone to talk. Annyeong." I decided to get out of the way and let her friends comfort her.

"You don't have to go...Please stay." She grabbed my wrist.

"Just call me later, arasseo?" I waved goodbye to the rest.

"Gomawo Gikwang ah." JaeYoung said. 

I send a text to JaeYoung.

"Thanks for coming. Please tell me how everything goes. I'm worried about her. Thanks."

It wasn't long until he replied

"No problem, will do. Don't worry. Thanks for taking care of her."

AeRa (POV)

I wanted Gikwang and my best friends there with me. But I know that it is hard for him to watch me like this. I know how her feels about me, and all I'm doing is hurting him even more by being this way.

"What happened?" JaeMin asked "Why are you like this? You were all smiling earlier... Is it about Nichkhun?" As always she knew what was wrong with me. I nodded.

"Wae? Did he do something to you?" Miyong asked anxiously.

"Did he?!" JaeYoung rolling up his sleeve angrily.

"Since he started training for his debut, he hasn't paid much attention to me. I understand that he's busy, but if he cared enough he would make time to meet me, even though it's only for a minute. Every time I said that I want to go visit him, he didn't want me to come. He said he's busy. I really miss him. Do you think he's seeing someone else? Is he bored of me?" Wondering if maybe he did fell for someone else.

JaeMin and Miyong sat beside me and comfort me. "Hey, hey now. Don't jump into conclusions. I'm sure he has a good reason ." JaeMin trying to be positive for me.

"I sound like a pathetic jealous girlfriend...Sorry guys, I didn't want to burden you with my problems." I said

"Geez, what are you talking about?! We've known each other for ages. You shouldn't feel sorry and no, you're don't sound like a pathetic jealous girlfriend." JaeMin replied.

"Exactly...There's nothing wrong when a girlfriend wants a little attention from her boyfriend." Miyong was my hair.

"I called him up earlier. I want an answer from him." Taking a deep breath

"Jjinja? You want us to come along with you?" JaeYoung asked

"It's ok. I'll go alone." Taking another deep breath and I stood up. "I need to do this for myself. I can't stand another day, being like this. Thanks guys for coming. I specifically told Gikwang not to tell any of you." I stood up again. My legs felt weak.

"Gikwang cares about you, ya'know? He tries his best not to show it, but I know him well enough that looking at you like this now, is killing him." Jae Young patted AeRa's head.

I just gave Jae Young oppa a smile. They gave me a hug as I climbed in the car and directed the taxi driver to take me to Nichkhun. My heart was pounding hard. Somehow, I know what's the outcome of this.

I could see him standing waiting for me in front of JYP entrance. Once I stepped down, I was expecting a hug, a smile but no expression from him.

"What is it? Make it quick please." He look at me impatiently.

"Can you please just spare 5 minutes for me? I just need to talk to you." I was already mad at his impatience.

"Ok. I'm sorry. Let's go inside." He took my hand and we went inside JYP building. He brought me in an empty dance studio and we sat on the floor. Nichkhun leaned his back against the mirrors.

"How are you?" I asked. He looked exhausted. 

"I'm extremely exhausted. I haven't slept properly since last week." Nichkhun wiped the sweat of his forehead.

"Do you know why I'm here?" I sat nearer to him.

"Not really..." I held his hand.

"Khunnie ah...Do you miss me?" He lifted up his head to look at me. "I understand you're busy with your schedule, but I feel like we're drifted apart. I know this may sound silly to you, but whenever I text you, you can't wait to end it. When I thought that maybe you're busy, so I wanted to make the effort to cook something for you. When I give you a call, you just shove me off. It hurts Khunnie. I became this annoying girlfriend wondering what is my boyfriend doing behind my back. Why is he being like this? Do you like seeing me like this?" He squeezed my hand as I said that.

"Baby..." He looked at me intensely. "No, I don't like to see you like this. I like the bubbly girl I fell for..." Now he is avoiding eye contact with me. "You're gonna hate me for saying this... AeRa, you've been an awesome part of my life. You've been nothing but good to me. But I will do this again in the future, shoving you aside, avoiding you and making myself distant from you, to concentrate on my career...  You're gonna be hurt again and  I can't do that to you anymore. You deserve more that what I can give you... Mianhae." Tears were building up his eyes. His hands were shaking.

It felt like a huge boulder just dropped on my head when I heard what he said. "Khun ah..." He wiped my tears with his thumb

"You deserve better." He pulled me into his embrace. "I'm sorry that it came to this. You will always have a special place in my heart." I didn't know what to say. Nichkhun was letting me go. He chose his career over me.

"I-I-I knew that this was going to happen." I stuttered "Why did I fell for you?" sobbing away in his embrace.

"AeRa...Promise me something..." I pulled away from his embrace to look at him. "Promise me that we stay friends...?" He wiped his tears away using the sleeve of his shirt.

"I'm more worried about you once you get all famous." I still manage to pull a joke.

"Like I said, you will always have a special place in my heart." He cupped my face and kissed my forehead. "If any bastards tries to hurt you, I will break them in half." he smiled.

We just sat at the dancing studio for hours. Nichkhun stayed and comforted me.

He purposely avoided me, made up all kinds of excuses to make himself distant from me, so that it's easier for me to let him go. This is why I fell for him in the first place, aside from his charm, Nichkhun was too kind and caring towards me. He was always the gentleman.

Instead of going back to pack his stuff to go to the airport, but he took the time to give me a ride home. Once we arrived, Nichkhun whispered into my ear..."Be happy AeRa." Then I hugged him goodbye. Not sure when will I get to see him again. I whispered back to him "Be happy Khunnie". 

Sob sob....TT___TT. Heartbreaks and Goodbyes.

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