Baekhyun knew that it was going to be difficult, but he had no idea the extent of which his difficulties would reach.

Despite how adamant Chanyeol had seemed to be, insisting that nothing needed to change between them, Baekhyun knew that change was inevitable. He had anticipated change. He was prepared for change (who was he kidding, he wasn’t prepared for anything when it came to the idiotic Park Chanyeol), but what he most definitely was not prepared for was the strain that these changes would place upon him.

When to move closer? When to pull away? Baekhyun was no longer certain of how much physical contact was acceptable, no longer sure as to whether he was allowed to initiate the amount of skinship that he was accustomed to. If that weren’t already problem enough, Baekhyun was now also unable to handle the closeness he so desired to have with Chanyeol. He had never been very much inclined to withstand the vast quantity of feels aforementioned closeness brought him, but now that he was aware of his best friend’s feelings for someone else, he couldn’t help but shy away, not only feeling guilty but immeasurably sad and inadequate as well.

Baekhyun craved- no, needed- Chanyeol’s attention, his touch, but whenever the other male got anywhere remotely near to him, his pulse quickened, his skin perspired, his feet moved of their own accord and carried him out of reach. Not only did Baekhyun feel a bit of remorse, but he almost carried a sort of frustration towards someone who he wished was more than just his best friend. He couldn’t help but compare himself to the subject of Chanyeol’s affections every single time those large hands brushed against his skin, every single time those perfect lips curved up into a smile meant for him, every single time a word was spoken intended only for his ears.

Why was Chanyeol doing this? Doing this to him, of all people? Baekhyun clearly couldn’t measure up to the one in his heart, so why did he bother to continue acting as if nothing were wrong? As if it were alright to just keep touching him, holding him, grinning at him- multiple actions which could be misconstrued as something akin to infatuation- but Baekhyun knew better.

He couldn’t do this. Chanyeol oh so casually draping his arm over his shoulders during a movie, Chanyeol clutching onto his hand and leading him wherever he wished, Chanyeol peering deep into his eyes and leading a shiver to travel down his spine due to the intensity of his gaze- these were only but a few of the actions the giant performed which inadvertently caused Baekhyun to spiral further down into the abyss of despondency, knowing that although he got to experience all of these things, they were all performed out of friendship rather than spurred by love.

All of these conflicting feelings combined together pushed Baekhyun to abandon his warm bed that night in favor of making the trek down to the beach in absolute darkness, his path lit only by the luminescence of the moon, which reflected off of the water and beckoned Baekhyun to approach.

He settled onto the deserted dock (it held no other form of life besides himself) and stared down into the ocean’s murky, seemingly endless depths, almost as if he were searching for an answer in the way the ceaseless, subdued waves crashed softly against the shore.

Baekhyun wanted advice on how to go about solving his current dilemma, but despite how unlikely it was to find such a thing in the typically violent motions of the sea, he didn’t regret coming down there.

Even if nothing changed concerning the Chanyeol situation, at least he could gather some comfort from the calmness of the currents, although it was only a temporary sort of consolation.

He let himself get lost in how the movement of the water remained constant, steady- something he wished stood true for his lamentable life as well. Change was bad. Change resulted in hurt feelings and fractured hearts.

Baekhyun couldn’t care less if he sounded melodramatic or not. It hadn’t even been a full day and he was already depressed as . He already felt drained and useless, unwanted and undesirable, and honestly, he felt as if he deserved to be thinking whatever morose things he wanted to.

He momentarily broke eye contact with the waves, glancing around him in search of something to throw and delighting in the fact that directly beside him sat a single stone, appearing to be as silent and lonely as he was.

He picked it up, leisurely rolling it between his index finger and his thumb before smoothly tossing it into the ocean before him, entranced by the recurrent ripples which expanded outwards in the perfect imitation of a circle before being obliterated by a gently sloping wave.

Baekhyun didn't even realize that he was trembling from the frigid, nighttime air until he felt lanky arms wrap around him from behind, and he didn't have to catch the whispered syllables of his name to know who was hugging him.

"Channie," He murmured in response, instinctively turning and curling up against the younger's chest, clutching onto his collar with fingers tinted pink from cold.

Baekhyun figured that he must be dreaming. Chanyeol was a deep