Taeyeon POV

I slumped to a bench at the park and closed my eyes. When I opened them again it was morning. I decided to visit Amber at the hospital so I got up but I couldnt walk normal. People gave me weird looks and I would just glare at them or say uo motherer! Well thats the new me. Accept me for how I am and you are the best person in the whole world. Me for being this is all her fault, maybe if I had stayed with Yoona and Sooyoung I wouldnt be like this. That ing turned me into a jerk. Because of her I left Stephanie, because of her I hurt Yoona and Sooyoung, because of her I didn visit my bestfriend since childhood since I was discharged from the hospital, because of her I turned my ing back to my bestfriends!!! I ing hate myself now. I wont be surprized if they dont want me as a friend anymore. I just want to see Amber living a normal live and maybe getting together with Krystal. I just dont want to see him struggle or fight for his life and I dont want the others to be sad if he dies. I smell like alchohol and smoke, my hair is a mess and so are my clothes. But I dont gice a I just want to see my childhood friend. If he dies I want to say goodbye and all and thank him for helping through trouble. But I think I might cant accept it if he dies and maybe drive nuts and do the same thing like I do now. I am afraid. I enetered the hospital and saw everyone except Krystal waiting outside.

Sooyoung: Tae...

Taeyeon: H-Hey guys

I gave them a sad smile

Yuri: You smell like alcohol, what have you been doing Tae?

Taeyeon: She cheated on me

Yoona: How can you even trust a like her?! Your unbelieveble Tae, look what youve become.... Your not Kim Taeyeon anymore you are just some nuts guy

Hyoyeon: Calm down Yoong!

Yoona: How can I calm down Hyo?! This jerk turned his back to us because of a ing girl he just knew for 2 months or something

Those are the same words he told me when I visited with Nana. He was very angry at me that day and now? Now he is on the edge of killing me. I know this side of him. He will get violent and maybe he will really kill me cause of what I had done to them.

Taeyeon: I-Im sorry Yoong I-I was just confused I didnt know what to do.... She was my hero she made me feel happy when Amber was in hospital and I forgot all my worries like-

Yoona: Like Amber?! Like us?! Like your ing bestfriends Tae?! You changed this much only because of that arrogant called Nana. I heard from Yuri and Hyoyeon that Hyeri and Hyuna just used them for their money. Those two girls took all their money you know!! I cant believe that you three fell for that act of them!!

Taeyeon: I-I dont know Yoong I just........... I was just not thinking about my actions..... Im sorry

Yoona: You better be yeah............. If he dies right now.......... You have alot to make up you know

Sooyoung: Guys ju