Epilogue:

Nothing but Closure & Anything but Ending

“Can we look at that view of the Marina together one last time?  I had completely forgotten to re-open those curtains before we left the hotel that day.”  I said to her as I drove her back to her hotel for the second time.  We had just gotten back from what was the last meal with my family and we had spent the last couple of days over at my place helping Jackie with mom.

“Distracted much?”  she asked in response to my request and with a smirk, as she glanced at me from the corner of her eyes.

“I think we both know I was little more than just distracted.”  I replied with a mischievous grin.

Both Jackie and my mom had now come to absolutely adore Krystal, and I had gotten a chance to hear some more stories from my mom about my dad.  So, we felt a little more comfortable with the very close date we chose to catch our flight back to Seoul.  And this second trip back to her hotel was to do just that, for her to pack up the rest of her things and check-out from the hotel.  We would be spending one more night at my house to have my mom and Jackie take us to the airport early in the morning.  See, I had originally felt that maybe we rushed the date a bit, probably because of the adrenaline and excitement of being back together.  I felt bad having to leave my mom so soon since she had just recently gotten out of the ward – I felt bad even though she reassured me that I should leave as soon as I could as to not ‘jeopardize this young career any further’, in her own words.  I thought maybe that the few days I had left with my family – with my mom – were maybe not gonna be enough.  And even though in the end they ended up being just the right amount, I still felt just a tad uneasy – kinda that feeling you get when you’re on your way to somewhere, and you can’t help but wonder if you're forgetting something before you step out of the house, and it bugs you to no end because you can’t think of what the hell it is.

But when that morning came, after the good-bye hugs were given and after the tears were shed… nothing was more comfortable than standing side-by-side to a ‘close-to-perfect’ woman, staring at the entrance gate that would take us back home.  That’s right... home.  Our home.  So, at that moment, I knew for a fact that I could have comfortably rushed this date even more.  Ahh… much, much more.

“Well... it looks like we were given a...  clean slate of sorts?  Like… this chance to start over almost from scratch.”  she said, as we both continued standing side-by-side looking into the entrance gate.

And it’s true.  It’s as if each and every one of our relationships, and our entire surrounding world had gotten better.  Like a clutter had been violently removed, a clutter that had been stacking up for so long: my relationship with my mom, closure about my dad, Krystal’s relationship with her sister… and not to mention, I had gotten a second chance at love from getting closure with Soyeon, and Krystal had gotten a second chance to be herself and embrace herself.

“I like the sound of ‘we’."  I said.

Krystal turns to me chuckling and says, “Yeah?”

“Yeah… just hear it again, like -- we were given a clean slate.”  I repeated it slowly.  “It sounds like a marriage thing or something.”

“Are you asking me to marry you, Miss Liu?”

“Well, not really but now that you mention it, I wouldn't mind it at all.”  I said as I turned to her with a smirk.  

She nudges my shoulder and says, “This is not going to be our marriage proposal.”  We both laughed lightly as we turned back to face the entrance gate, and then a brief silence took over in between us both.
 

If we go down, then we go down together.  
We'll get away with everything.  Let's show them we are better. 
"Paris" -- Chainsmokers

“So… are we going in?”  I asked, breaking the quiet.

“Wait… I just -- I want to bask in this for a bit longer.”  she responded as she took a deep and slow breath in, a smile of content drawn over her lips. 

“In…?”

“Don’t you hear that?  That sound all around us of no one knowing who we are…”  I turned to her again, with a smile, as she continued.  “That sound of ‘no one cares’… the sound of a much better reality…”  she turned to face me and smiled back at me slowly and even wider, leaning in to embrace me, our foreheads slightly touched, and then her lips met mine in a tender kiss.  

“Whoa… someone has balls lately.”  I said in a breathy chuckle, our foreheads still slightly kissing.

“Ovaries, babe… we both have ovaries.”  she said with a chuckle and as we continued to hold each other close, taking in each others’ air.  The steady sounds of our breathing seemed to have drowned out every other competing noises around us: the shuffle of footsteps, the light chatter, the announcer voices through the speakers, the ambiance music, the rolling of luggage wheels... 

“I love it when you tell me I have ovaries, you know that?”  I jokingly said, enjoying being verbally acknowledged as being a girl.  “We should do this more often… this… coming here to California together.”  I said as we slowly moved apart from each other, our close embrace turning into a firm holding of both hands, then soon standing side-by-side again, fixating our eyes back towards the entrance gate and hand in hand.

“And this is where it all started…”  she pointed out.

“Yeah… I mean I did bump into you that day at the auditions… but here… this is where we were actually together for the very first time.  In this airport is where I found out how something so heavy can maintain itself... so high… and fly…”  That day, I was speaking about the plane, but today…

“I love knowing you…”  she said, with such adoration and in an almost slight sigh.  
 

I looked out my window to see the clouds, as the plane finally stabilized, as it finally begun to drift steadily.  It seems so calm.  Amazing how something so heavy can work its way up against the high pressures of the sky, and then maintain itself so high… and fly.

… Today, know for sure that I’m speaking about us.  We made it through... so much.  

We were ready to go back, even though we enjoyed the privacy we shared in L.A.  We were ready to start anew, to chase our dreams together, to feel together, and to be together… without the fear.

In the comebacks ahead, we spoke but left things unspoken.  

9:50 and 47:55

“So, how did this song make its way into the new f(x) a