"What are you so afraid of?"  she asked, as she awkwardly removed herself from my embrace and back into her seat.  She hastily rubbed off the remaining of her tears on my hoodie sleeves.  She noticed me looking at her and said, "I'm so sorry for crying into your hoodie..."  she looked up at me, still so embarrassed.  Her eyes looked so much sadder because of the puffiness from crying.

"Heh... don't worry about it.  I don't mind, really."  I said, giving her a half smile.  She curled up slowly back into her seat, snuggling into my hoodie, still embarrassed.  She didn't know where to shift her eyes -- downward, sideways, upwards -- it was adorable.

"Do you want it back?"  she asked.

"Ew.  No.  You cried all over it.  Gross."  I said, teasing her with a smirk.  She couldn't help but smile a bit.

"You're so mean."  she said pouting, as she shoved my shoulder lightly.  She curled back up and hid half of her face into the hoodie.  I laughed lightly, as I composed myself in my seat.  I pressed my back against my seat with my head thrown back.  I turned my head towards her just enough to see her still hiding her face.  I reached out and pulled the hoodie down quickly and to her chin.  "No."  she said, as she pulled it back up again to her nose.  Heh, she was still pouting.  I threw my head back again in my seat, looking upwards.  Thinking about what she asked me.  Trying to avoid it.

"I'm not the type to talk about my feelings much, ya' know?"  I finally said.

"Hm?"

"You asked me, 'what are you so afraid of?' and I'm answering."  I said, with a constant shy smile on my face.

"Oh, wow.  Amber is answering my questions.  It's a miracle."  she said with a hint of sarcasm, teasing me.  I turned my head towards her, still with my shy smile.

"I'm trying.  Shhh."  I jokingly said.  

"Okay, okay.  Sorry... continue."  she said, smiling behind the hoodie that still slightly covered her under her nose.
 
"Thank you."  I said in a polite tone, as I turned my head back, looking upwards again.  "So, yeah... It just makes me feel awkward... to feel too much.  It's uncomfortable.  Like, I just... I don't know."  I tripped over my words.  Just the mere thought of talking about it puts my stomach in knots.  I've never really talked about it to anyone... openly.  Why should I start now?  "I lost someone."  I finally said, I gulped.  "Someone I love very much."  Love.  Yes.  I love her now... still.  I felt Krystal sit up in her seat, removing the hoodie away from her face.  I refused to look at her.  "And I just don't talk about it.  No one knows.  Just my sister, and well... now you, I guess."  I sighed deeply.  "I don't want to cry.  I don't want to cry because it brings back all of the memories... of that person being gone.  I cried that day... like I've never cried ever before.  It was horrible.  It's like, after crying like that, crying put such a bad taste in my mouth."  I could feel Krystal's gaze pressed on me.  "He..."  I said.  I couldn't say 'a girl'.  I just couldn't.  "... was my first love.  My first everything, and for reasons that I don't exactly know or comprehend... he decided to hang himself in the janitor's closet at our school... a month before high school graduation."  I said, trying to remain emotionless.  I heard Krystal gasp slightly, and through the corner of my eye, I could see her hold her hands to in shock.   "We... sort of had a secret relationship... so, I couldn't really tell anyone.  Until this day, I still don't know exactly why he did it, and that's what hurts the most, ya' know?  No suicide notes, no build up, no nothing... It left me confused.  I cried in my room for hours on end.  I wanted to do the same as he did.  I thought about it so many more times than I can count... but I was so afraid of the thought of not existing anymore... yet at the same time, it hurt so much to exist without him."  My face went to a blank stare.  It's my defense, my shield -- stare blankly, immediately erase all thoughts, wait for the pain to pass... as if.  It's always there, the pain.  After several minutes, I turned my head towards her and worked up a smile.  "Did I answer your question?"

She sighed sadly and deeply.  "You're in so much pain... Amber."  she said, as she looked into my eyes.  My smile slowly turned back into a blank stare.

"I'm okay."  I said.  She placed her hands on my cheeks, holding my face in her palms gently.

"You don't have to be in pain..."  she said softly.  Her sad and still puffy eyes looking directly into mine.  My lips started to shake, my blank stare slowly breaking into nothing... my tears rolled.  I cried so hard without making a sound.  Each tear making its way in between Krystal's fingers, into her palms... and she didn't care at all.  She scooted closer towards me, as I broke down into her shoulder... and just silently cried.  I cried like I did that day.

I cried in her embrace, like I've never cried ever before.

I open my eyes.  I fell asleep.

I hear her heartbeat.  I feel her arms wrapped around my neck, holding me close against her chest.  I must have drifted off to sleep after all that crying.  I can hear her breathing deeply.  She fell asleep, as well.  I slowly slip from out of her arms, I lean back into my seat, and I look at her.  I just look.  She made me feel so... what's that word again?

Vulnerable.

Like a single, thin and moist page in a book, ready to tear with the slightest pull.  All of my walls are now just rubble and dust.  I have no protection whatsoever.  The way she held me in the palm of her hands, the way her eyes glistened with pain, for me... That wasn't pity.  It was pure good ol' empathy.  The really strong kind.  I pick up my phone and see that my battery is close to being dead.  6:30 AM, read the time.  We slept all night.

"Excuse me, would you like sausage or bacon?"  asked one of the flight attendances.  She was bringing us the breakfast.  Krystal made a soft and whiny noise.

"Bacon for me, please.  Sausage for her?"  I replied.  I just figured, if she ended up wanting bacon, I wouldn't mind exchanging. 

"To drink?"  she asked again.

"Apple and orange, please.  Thank you."  I lift up the blind covering my window.  It's dark outside.  So dark.  We're probably already in a totally different timezone.  Seoul is 17 hours ahead of L.A.  So... it's about 11:30 PM-ish?  I'm not usually hungry this early, really.  I'm just still kinda... embarrassed, and she's not even awake yet.  Her lips are swollen from sleeping and her cheeks are blushed... she looks so peaceful.  I instinctively reach one of my hands out towards her, and I gently brush to the side the hair hovering over her forehead.  My fingertips continue to graze slowly down the side of her face, past her cheeks, to her chin.  She lets show a soft smile as she gently moves her head to have her skin graze against my hand even more, yet she is still deeply asleep.  I wonder what she's seeing in her dreams after feeling that -- wait -- what the am I doing?  I move my hand away quickly and place it onto my lap.  I scrunch up my pants in my hands tightly.  I need to compose myself.
 
"... Amber?"  she said my name in the sweetest, sleepy voice ever.  My eyes widen a bit at the idea of what just happened just a few seconds ago before she woke up.  Was she already awake and just pretending to sleep?  I had a mini panic attack inside of me that I was trying to hide as best as I possibly could. 

"H-hey.  Morning.  How'd you sleep?"  I asked with a crooked smile.  She rubbed her eyes, as she yawned and spoke.

"...Morning... mhhhm.  I slept good..."  after yawning, she reached out and placed her hand on mine.  "Did you sleep well?  Are you okay?"  she asked with a worried tone in her voice, and with her half asleep and puffy eyes trying to make eye contact with mine, but I didn't allow it.

"Yeahp.  All good here.  You hungry?"  I asked, trying to be cheerful, quickly moving my hand from under hers.  I prayed for her to not bring up anything I said last night.  There hadn't really been any discussion about it, no questions.  I just spilled myself all over her in one shot.  There was no cleanup.  I spilled myself, and then she just picked up what she could and placed it back in the cup.  Everything around us was still quite messy, but I didn't want to talk about it.  I told her, and that's that.  She then turned her head towards the mini table in front of me, you know, the ones that pop out of the seats in front of us.  She noticed the bacon, the eggs, the toast, the sausages, the apple juice, and the orange juice.

"Oh my god, yes.  I'm starving."  she said, her face lit up, as she sat upright.  "Which one's mine?"  she asked.

"Nothing.  It's all mine.  Get your own."  I jokingly said. 

"Really?"  she said with a pout and a hint of disappointment as she gave me those... gosh... those puppy eyes.

"Nah, I'm just playing."  I said chuckling.  "Whichever.  I picked both since I didn't know which one you wanted, so you can go ahead and pick whichever.  I don't mind having either."  I said.

"You're a bit of a prankster, you know that?"  she said as she nudged my shoulder lightly, beginning to take one of the plates from my table, putting it on hers.

"And you're so gullible."  I jokingly refuted. 

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are.  too."  I emphasized.  

She turned around to look at me, giving me a death glare.  All I could do was burst out laughing at her attempt to seem intimidating -- it was a short burst of laughter.  I had to contain myself because it looked like she was ready to punch me right in the face.  I lightly poked her cheek to try to turn her mood around.  She then turned her head quickly to attempt to bite my finger.

"Hey!"  I said as I quickly moved my finger away.  "You're so violent, woman."  I said, still laughing, lightly this time.

"Am.  not."  she said, as she began to eat her breakfast.  "And If you say 'are too' again, I'll bite you."  she warned me.

...

...

"Let me see."  she said, as she reached out for my hand.  I hid it underneath my lap, pouting and refusing.  "Amber, stop being such a baby, let me see it."

"No way.  You're dangerous."  I said, half joking.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I warned you."  she said, still pulling at my arm, attempting to slip my hand out from underneath.

"Jesus, yeah, but I didn't think you'd bite me that hard."  she couldn't help but giggle as she looked at my pouty face.

"Yeah, well, that's what you get for being a prankster, now be a good servant, and do as I say, let me see."

"Llama."  I said, as I kept myself from facing her.

"What?"

"I am Llama, not servant."  I said.  I was definitely joking with her, but in all honesty, that hurt.  Vicious little Korean woman, gosh.  I ain't letting her call me servant.  Nu uh.  She doesn't deserve that right now.

"You're Llama?"

"Yes, my face looks like a llama, my sister says."  I explained.

"Let me see..."  she said, holding in a laugh.  I turn around reluctantly.  She busts out laughing after contemplating my face for a few seconds.  I turn back away from her quickly.  I have a smirk on my face from her adorable laugh, but I refuse to let her see it.  "Okay, servant Llama, give me your hand this instant."

I sigh.  She's too adorable, I can't help myself.  So, I give in.  "Good servant Llama."  she says, as she holds my hand in her hand, and pats my head with her other hand.  I pout. "Aww, my poor servant Llama.  I'm so sorry."  she says sarcastically, as she looks at the bite mark on my index finger.  She rubs it as I just continue to pout.  Then, suddenly, she takes my finger up to her lips.  I widen my eyes a bit, looking at what she's about to do.  She kisses it, gently.  "All better?"  she asks, smiling up at me, squinting her adorable eyes.  I can't even begin to get upset at her.  It's impossible, literally.  I gulp and nod, answering her question.

"And it's not servant Llama... it's Llama."  I mumble underneath my breath.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what did you say?  I couldn't hear you over the sound of how I'm the princess."

That's it.  I am so not staying whipped, not that I don't enjoy it... no, no, no.  Stop being such a , Amber -- I think to myself.  I turn over to her and give her a soft smile.  She looks at me holding in a laugh, smiling as well.  Then, I quickly reach out my hands to her sides and tickle her briefly.

"AHHH! hahahaha!"  she squealed and jumped up a bit.  "Nuuuuu... stop, stop... ahaha... ehehe."  she ends it with an adorable giggle, as I move my hands away.

"Hi, I'm Krystal and I'm a princess."  I say it, mocking her, trying to imitate her voice.  She giggles more, shoves my shoulder, and then nods agreeing with what I just said.  I shake my head slo