“Tao, can we talk now?” Kris had tried to persuade the younger man to talk to him for two days now; Tao was clearly still mad at him for sending LuHan and the Korean members to his place when Kris clearly knows how he feels about them.

Tao decided to ignore the older as he kept walking along the hallway of hospital.

“Huang Zi Tao, don’t you dare walk away from me!” Kris has no choice but to use his ‘no bargaining’ tone towards the younger which has always work effectively, no exception for that moment as he noticed Tao has stopped his track but kept showing his back for him.

Kris sighed as he walked towards the younger, “I’m sorry for shouting at you.” His heart softened immediately when he exchanged eyes with Tao.

“Why? Why did you do that? You clearly know how I feel about them; you know I don’t want anything to do with them, and yet you just shoved them right in front of my face like that. Do you how disappointed I am at you right now Ge?”

Instead of feeling guilty, surprisingly, Kris flashed a smile at the younger man. “I know you’re disappointed, but you are disappointed more on yourself for letting me know you too well, right Zi Tao? You can tell right away this was my plan for LuHan to bring them stay in your house; you know very well what I asked LuHan to do is actually starting to work on you, but you’re just too stone head to admit it. You don’t want to admit defeat to that wall of defense you have built for five years to remind yourself of the hate you needed to feel for them.”

Kris watched as the younger man was speechless of words to defense his own heart from crumbling down in front of him. Part of him felt guilty for opening that wound in his heart, but another part of him was telling him the opposite; to give the final blow towards the younger man. Tao needed to face the pain before he could free himself from it.

“I know you don’t hate them, Tao. The one you hate is yourself. Yes, you hate yourself because of the guilt that you couldn’t let go; the guilt that consumed you for 5 years; the guilt of feeling useless for unable to do anything to help your brothers in those darkest moments of our lives. But Tao, I wanted you to know that you don’t need sacrifice or action to be considered as helping; it can be projected in another way. Zi Tao, do you know how thankful we are to have you beside us for all these years together? You might not show in the action, but your presence beside us is already enough to show how you love and care for us.”

“No. It’s not enough! Yes, you’re right. I hate myself for being unable to help my brothers when they needed it the most. I hate myself for being unable to help lessening the weight on your shoulders. I hate myself the most for being useless in protecting my brothers!”

Kris was heartbroken to hear the confession from the younger man. “Tao, do you know seeing you like this make me really sad? This is not what I wanted you to feel. Whatever happened in the past, it’s not your fault. It’s none’s fault. We couldn’t predict what would happen in the future. So Ge Ge beg you, please, please don’t punish yourself anymore. Just let go of that handle of the past. Just let go and free yourself from those guilt that you have been pressing inside yourself. Please Tao, please… At least, do it for me?”

Kris couldn’t hold his sadness as he let his tears rolled down and wet his handsome face. He’s really sad to see his favorite dongsaeng kept hurting himself.

And that’s it. With the last push from Kris has totally has Tao defense wall crumbled down. But before he broke down in front of the older, he decided to run away as fast as he can, ignoring the worry shouting from his favorite Ge Ge.

“I’m sorry Zi Tao. Please forgive Ge Ge for doing this to you…”

You know very well what I asked LuHan to do is actually starting to work on you, but you’re just too stone head to admit it. You don’t want to admit defeat to that wall of defense you have built for five years to remind yourself of the hate you needed to feel for them.

Tao cursed himself for letting Kris know him too well. How come the older man could read him that easily? No, more importantly, how come he’s so weak in front of his favorite Ge Ge? LuHan had already spent days in per