Do you remember on February 25^th, 2013 at 10:00PM, what we were doing?  We were crying, together.  I asked you what would happen after high school.  We talked about the possibility of us growing apart.  What if we went our separate ways and stopped talking?  What if we forgot about each other?

I said that it’s not possible.  Because you can’t forget what you love the most.  You can’t forget the reason why you’re still alive.  It’s like forgetting how to breathe.  You can’t.

I promised I would fold you a thousand cranes to show you how much I love you.  You laughed.  You didn’t think I would do it.  Honestly, I didn’t think I could do it either.  We’ll see.

It was test that I put myself up against.  If I finished the project, then I truly do love you.  If not, then this love is just a phase.  It’s nothing more than infatuation.

We’ll see.

“What would you do if I were to die tomorrow?”

“WHAT?!”

“No, no, no!  I’m not actually dying tomorrow!”  You laughed.  “But what would you do if you knew that I would die tomorrow?”

“Hm…  I don’t know…”  I smiled.  “I think I’d just be in shock.  I wouldn’t know what to do.”

“You dork.  You wouldn’t even hug me?”

“Ah…  Well, this is my stop.  See you tomorrow!  That is, if you don’t die.”  I stepped off the bus and waved back at you.

I would spend your last day, trying to make you smile and laugh as much as possible.

If you were to die, I want you to die happy.

I’d take you to a concert, take you to your favourite restaurant, shower you with hugs, tell you jokes, but most importantly, I’d tell you how I feel.

You make me feel sad, stupid, confused, lost, heartbroken, destroyed, jealous, and frustrated and so much more.  But it’s a good kind of sad because it means I care about you and I miss you.  Me being stupid means you’ve driven me mad with how amazing you are to me.  Confused means I worry so much about what would happen to us that I don’t know what to think.  Lost means I’m experiencing something new.  Heartbroken means you mean so much more to me than what I know.  Destroyed means I try so hard at making you happy that when something doesn’t work out, I want to try harder.  Jealous means I want you all to myself.  Frustrated means I’m not giving up, even if it does tick me off sometimes.

All of these feelings are hard to control.  They make me say things that don’t make sense to anyone else but me.

“Have you ever said something and then realized how stupid or embarrassing it sounds so you just stopped talking while the listener stares back?”  Out of nowhere, I broke the silence.

“…”

“Ah…  Never mind.”  I shook my head while you suddenly burst into laughter.  “What’s so funny?”

“You.”  You kept laughing.  “You’re really awkward, you know?”

“Well it’s not my fault!”

“Then whose fault is it?”

“Yours.  It’s always your fault.”  I teased.

“Why is it my fault?”

“Because you make my brain do weird things.”

“Well, tell your brain to not do weird things.”

“I can’t tell my brain not to think something.  How would I do that?  Have a conversation with myself?”  I smiled.  Seeing as it made you laugh, I kept going.  “Just tell my brain ‘Stop being weird’ isn’t going to work is it?  Brains do what they want.  They’re the people who leave carts in the middle of supermarkets.”

“Stop!  Stop!”  You waved your hands in desperation.  “I can’t breathe!”

“Alright, alright.  I have to get off anyway.  This is my stop.  I’ll see you tomorrow!”

I stepped off, unconsciously smiling to myself.

I made her laugh.  Haha!  I made her day better…  Man, today feels so much better now for me too.  …What are they looking at?

I looked at the two students from another high school who were giving me weird looks.

“What’s up with that smile, huh?  What’s so funny?”  One of them spoke up while almost shoving me off the sidewalk.

Oh…  This smile?  See, this is the stupid smile I have every time I think about her.  I can’t control it.  It’s my lovesick smile.

“Yeah, what’s wrong with you?”  They walked off while laughing.

My heart’s been stolen of course!

Okay, I’ll admit it.  I’ve waited for my parents to leave the house before I can run around and sing love songs as loud as I want.  I’ve danced down the street and at the bus stop, thinking about you.  I’ve laid on my bed, smiling from ear to ear while feeling my heart race because when I close my eyes, I see your smile.  I’ve woken up from a dream where you held my hand for three seconds and for the rest of the week, I was overly happy.  I’ve blushed madly when people tell me that we’re close.  I’ve done things I’ve never done before because I thought that never in a million years, would I fall so hard in love.

Another day had arrived and I had lost count of the number of times I lay on my back, smiling at the thought of you.

I’m seriously convinced that I’m in love.

I mean… All of my past crushes would make me nervous.

They’d make me smile, laugh, blush, feel temporarily happy when I was around them.

But only you could fill my stomach with butterflies even if you’re a thousand miles away.

Only you could make me stutter like an idiot or make my brain malfunction with a smile.

This is new and it’s different.

I don’t know what it is exactly.  Maybe it’s love?

Maybe I’m going crazy.

But love isn’t love if it’s not crazy, right?

There’s one thing that always bothers me.  What if…

“I have so many confessions to tell you.”  You suddenly blurted out.

“What?!”

“I’ll tell you later.”

“O-okay then…”  I looked away.

Oh my God, what if she likes me?

What if she tells me?

No, no.

That’s ridiculous.

Why would she ever like me?

Does she?

Agh…

I decided not to bother you about it.  If you needed to tell me really badly, you would.  After a week, I found myself at your house, watching a movie with you as you rested your head on my lap.

“So… last week…  You said you had a lot of things to tell me.  What did you need to tell me?”

“Oh…”  I felt your neck and body stiffen up.  You sighed.  “It’s nothing.”

“Are you sure?  You can tell me anything.”

“Yeah.  It’s nothing.”

What if you really wanted to tell me that you liked me?  What if for one second, you felt a connection between us that wasn’t the usual connection between friends?  What if you felt that?  What if you just didn’t say anything?  I wish you would’ve just told me.  But in a way, you kind of did, if you did like me anyway.  Maybe you were scared so you tried to do it as subtly as possible.

Tiffany:  Taeyeon!!!

I saw my phone light up with a text message.  I smiled upon seeing that the sender name was ‘Tiffany’.

Taeyeon:  Ah, yes?

Tiffany:  Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you.

Taeyeon:  Oh, well it’s nice speaking with you too (:

Tiffany:  Whatcha doin?

Taeyeon:  Math.

Tiffany:  Didn’t you start like 5 hours ago?

Taeyeon:  Yep…

Tiffany:  You don’t even have summer school!  I can’t believe you’re willing to learn math over the summer.  You’re crazy. 

Taeyeon:  I’m only crazy about one thing, and that’s you.

Tiffany:  Hehehe, I’m crazy about you too!  You’re really the only one I text often.

Taeyeon:  I don’t text anyone else in my own will.  Hahaha.  I miss you.

Tiffany:  I miss you too.  I don’t like summer school.  If I didn’t have to go, I could see you more often!

Taeyeon:  Well, don’t worry about it!  We’ll find a way.  We always do!

And just like that, we ended up texting each other until midnight.

Taeyeon:  I’m tired.

Tiffany:  Same here.

Taeyeon:  Go to bed.  Kids need to learn about sleeping beauty.

Tiffany:  >///< Yah.  That’s so cheesy.

Taeyeon:  Hey, fluff is my thunder!  I can’t not be fluffy.

Tiffany:  Ah, yes, my little fluff ball.  Do what you must, then.  I don’t mind ;)

Taeyeon:  Well, okay, then.  You’re beautiful c:

Tiffany:  You’re just saying that.

Taeyeon:  Nope!  I promise you, everything I do is in my intention to make you happy.

Tiffany:  Awwe, I think I’m the happiest person alive when I’m with you.  Even if it’s just on the phone too!  Promise accepted!

Taeyeon:  Hahaha, when I’m with you, I’ll make every second count!  C:  I promise.

Tiffany:  x) Thanks.

Taeyeon:  I can’t exactly give you a pinky promise right now, but I’ll give it to you the next time I see you.

Tiffany:  And that’s tomorrow.

I even promised you to promise you something else.  I didn’t forget.

“Is this seat taken?”

“Huh?  I don’t see a-”

“Thanks.”  You plopped yourself on my lap and grinned.

“Hey, Tiffany.”  Seohyun waved at you.

“Can you believe it?  We’re already done our second year of high school.”  You sighed and leaned back on me.

“I know!  Man, it’s gone by fast.”  Seohyun chuckled.

“OH!  I just remembered.”  I stuck out my pinky.  “I owe you this.”  I smiled as we hooked our fingers together.  “I promise.”

Seohyun admired the sight, grinning at how close we’d become over the years.

She never knew what on Earth we were talking about.  She just knew that we were really mushy all the time that it was almost weird.  But it made her smile.  She said she doesn’t like love stories.  She’s not a major character, but she’s a part of one now.

You know, I’ve never kissed anyone.  I never felt the urge to do it, even when I was with Leeteuk.  Sure, he was my boyfriend but I never wanted to.  It’s not like I was opposed to it.  I just never felt like there was a right moment.

But with you…

We’re not even in a relationship…  Officially that is.

But for some reason, I’ve wanted to kiss you.  Even though it’s something I’ve never done before, and I don’t even know how it works exactly.  But I’ve found myself wanting to lean in and capture your lips, regardless of who was around to watch.

“Try doing this.”  I pressed my fingers on the keyboard, making two perfect fourth notes.

“Ah, that sounds better, hahaha.”  Yoona chuckled, continuing with the random practice as we both kneeled on the floor of your house.

“Yeah, doesn’t it?  I just-AH” I jumped and laughed at the same time.  “Hey!”

“Hehehe…  Even after so long, you’re still super ticklish.”  You grinned before pulling me down to sit in front of you.  You grabbed my hands and pulled us together.

That’s… that’s really close.

Don’t kiss her.

Don’t do it.

Not here.

No.

Awkwardly, I just leaned in and hugged you.

Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened.

What if I just kissed you right there?

I regret not doing it then.

Because I feel like you would’ve kissed back.

OH THE AWKWARD.  ♥  But man... Why didn't I do it...

Anyways.  Sorry for updating a bit late today.  I was putting up my Christmas tree!  Well, it's still today.  So i'm not late  :P

Happy reading! ♥