I promised a friend that next year, I would audition for our committee’s event.  I think it’s a good way to let out what I feel.  I’m still on the hunt for good songs to perform but I think I’ve got a good set of choices.

Even with the set songs and practice, I still have a problem on my hands…

__Flashback Year Two__Period 3_After The Test

“Taeyeonnie…  Cheer me up then!”

“How?”

“With a song!”

“Well, what do you want me to sing?” I shrugged.

“Anything.”

“I… I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t sing around you…”

____

It’s true.  I spend every day in math class singing my heart out to every song out there but once you show your face, my voice just disappears.

So I made a promise to myself that I’d get over that.  But how am I going to sing if I already have trouble making any sound whatsoever when you’re watching?  I found a solution.

The solution is you.

You said you would sing with me on stage.  We’ll perform together.  If I can’t sing while you’re in the audience, maybe my nervousness would go away if we were facing the audience together.  I don’t know if we’ll make auditions, but I’m willing to try.

I’d stand on stage and regardless of how nervous I’d be I’d say this.

“Before we start…  I’d like to dedicate this song to someone special.  I hope you enjoy it.”

Then we’d sing.

“You and I.  We’re like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky.”

I’d turn my gaze from the audience, to you and I’d smile.

“With you, I’m alive.  Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide.”

I’m sorry if it’s not flawless because I forget the lyrics.  Looking at you does that to me.

After the event finishes, I’d tell my dad to pick me up later.  I’d take you outside and we could walk around under the snowfall for a while.  It’d be just like our first year except this time…  Maybe I’d get to kiss you.

During the weeks we’d have away from school, I’d spend a day walking to your house through the snow and ice just to see your face when you open the door.

“Surprise!”

“Tae!  What are you doing here?”

“I came to give you this.”

I know it’s stupid but would it hurt to give you chocolates and a rose?  Maybe instead, I’d knit you a scarf with a heart on it or maybe it’ll be a sweater with half a heart and I’d have the sweater with the other half.

We could watch Christmas movies all day long while snuggled up under a blanket.

Then later at night, maybe you’d call me and say you can’t sleep.  No matter how exhausted I would be, I’d still be awake on the other end, softly singing you a lullaby until you’d fall asleep.  Before hanging up, I’d tell you that I love you, the way I already do every night.

On New Year, we would watch the fireworks together.

“So what are you going to wish for this year, Tae?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know… like a goal.  Or… something you want to happen.”

“Well, I’ve already got everything I need right here.”

“Gah…  You’re so cheesy.”

“Cheesy is when you know it comes from the heart.”

It sounds dumb but you know that I mean it.

Maybe I’d save the chocolate and flowers for Valentine’s Day.  You’d go to school and when you open your locker, you would smile no matter how hard you’d try not to.  Maybe you’d find a teddy bear with a flower or a necklace.  Whatever it is, I would be incredibly nervous while trying to set them up perfectly before school would start.

You’d reach for the card inside and you’d find a note that goes something along the lines of this.

“I know you’re probably getting sick of these ridiculous things that I do for you.  But I don’t plan them out.  I honestly just find myself doing them.  That’s how much I think of you.  It got to the point where I almost handed in my math test with your name on it.  Anyways, Happy Valentine’s Day!  But first, of course, I have to ask…  Would you be me Valentine?”

It’s true.  You make me do things I would never do for anyone else.  You’re special to me.  For nobody else, would I stay up past midnight to help them with homework.  But I think I’ll be doing that more frequently for the weeks before exams.  I wouldn’t mind.  We can study together.

“Tae, I don’t understand this question at all!  And I’m tired.”

“Look at it this way.  This is pretty much the same as that, right?  So wouldn’t that mean the same thing for these two equations?”

I love the light in your eyes when you learn something new.  It’s almost like you discovered a country or something.

Tomorrow’s Christmas, but here I am, thinking about what I would do if you told me that you felt the same way about me.  I wouldn’t care if I’d receive nothing for Christmas.  I’d have you and I wouldn’t want anything else.

Even if this year, I won’t be able to call you mine on one of my favourite days of the year, maybe in the future I will.

I go to bed every night, wondering if that’s possible because something so amazing can’t possibly be that easy to achieve.  But then again, I haven’t exactly had an easy trip leading up to this point.  It’s been everything but simple.

Is it possible?  Or is it just too good to be true?  I guess we’ll just have to see.

But one thing’s for sure.  I’m leaving high school without regrets.  I told you that.  And I’ll tell you how I feel, even if it’s the last thing I do.

I want to make it special.  I could just walk right up to you and say it or I could send you a stupid text message.  But that isn’t good enough.

So I’ve decided I’d write you a letter.

The last chapter is going to be a long one because all the words are condensed into proper paragraphs and everything.  So in scrolling length, it's not long, but if you read it, it'll take quite a while.  I cried so hard while writing this letter, you have no idea >.>

As a heads up, tomorrow, you'll get two updates.  ;)  A little bonus for being supportive and everything.  I really appreciate it (:

Anyways

Happy reading! ♥

OH.  And I said I'd post up pictures of the 1000 cranes.

They took forever! Hahaha.  At the bottom of these cranes, there's an EXO album too.  I'll post more in the next update if you want to see part 2 of the notes.  Part 1 was the notes on the lid.  Part 2 is song lyrics that I wrote inside 8 of the yellow cranes.  I told her to unfold them all and read them.  She cried.  :P

You'll have to wait a while before I can snap a picture of the notes on the lid though.