Dear Tiffany,

I can’t help but to wonder at the time we’ve known each other.  How long has it been?  I’ve lost count but I never stopped counting the days we had left.  I knew that eventually, we would graduate.  You would head off to study business.   I would be taking my chances at the world of computers and programming.  So before I leave, I figured that I owe you something.

Yes, I owe you that I’m there for you, by your side, forever.  I owe you a few hugs and a smile.  I owe you laughter that you allowed me to enjoy.  Most of all, I owe you my confession.

For longer than I can remember, I’ve been so in love with you that I can’t even find the proper words to describe it.  Let’s just say that your smile drives me crazy and the sound of your voice is like music to my ears.  I could never get enough of it but I always had to control myself.

Whenever we walked together in the hallway and your hand would brush against mine, I had to resist the temptation to just reach out and hold it.  Whenever we pulled away from a hug, I’d have to stop myself from pulling you back in.  After some time, it became even harder to resist.  It hurt.

Knowing that I’ll always be just a good friend to you, I stepped back, allowing any lucky man to take the special place in your heart that I want so badly.  Every time I let that happen, I couldn’t do anything but watch my own heart shatter into a million pieces while you politely smiled back and nodded in agreement to yet another date.  How long will it be until you get married?  How long will it be until I lose the chance to be with the light of my life forever?  I guess not that long.

Now I can finally explain to you what’s been bothering me all the time.  Every time you asked, I couldn’t answer.  How could I?  How could I tell you why I’m sad when the reason is you?  It hurts a lot.  I’ve had a broken bone, stitches, cuts, scratches, bruises and more.  But I have to say, all of those things don’t even compare with the pain I’ve felt recently.  Imagine someone you’ve grown up with and been with for as long as you can remember.  Suddenly, you realize you love them.  But they don’t love you back.  And you know they never will; at least not in the same way.  I can’t find words accurate enough to describe it but if I were to try, I’d say that for two years, I’ve woken up with a sinking feeling in my chest every day.  And no matter what I did, regardless of the laughs I’ve heard or the smiles I’ve seen, at the end of the day, that feeling is still there.

You know how the saying goes: if you love something, set it free and if it loves you, it will come back to you.  After this, I doubt you would.  But I want you to be happy.  After doing a lot of thinking, I’ve realized that maybe I had fallen for you even before we were in high school.  The things we’ve done, said, laughed at, joked about…  It’s kind of obvious.  I just didn’t know it back then.  Adding it all together, you’ve meant the world to me for eight years.  That’s never easy to let go of, right?  I’m trying.  I’ve failed after three years but just give me a little more time.  It’s funny.  No matter how much pain I feel, my heart refuses to forget you.

You confused me, you hurt me, you made me late for class, you made me cry every other night for three weeks, you used me, you ignored me, you complained to me, you made fun of me, you were oblivious to everything I said…  But I don’t even care that you did all those things.  They’re easily forgivable.  But one thing I’ll never forget is that it feels like you don’t even care anymore.

Was I just a stepping stone?  Was I only of use for a while because you didn’t have a boyfriend to keep you happy?  I was a temporary substitute?  Now that you have one, you’ve completely casted me aside.  I understand that we’re only best friends and that he IS after all the man who has your heart now.  But I didn’t know that it meant I would be forgotten.  I thought I’d see you less or talk to you a little less.  I didn’t think you’d completely disregard the promise we made at the beginning.

“I’ll always be here for you” was a lie.  Now, I’m scared to grow fond of anyone.  I distance myself because I don’t want to face how it feels to lose someone again.  Then again… You can’t exactly lose what you never had.  But I guess I deserved it since I’ve lied to you too.  I’m truly sorry for these lies and I’ll be honest with you now…

I’m not okay.  I’m not tired, I’m sad.  It does bother me but I’ll do it because I love you.  Yes, I do feel used.  Yes, I do dislike him, but because you like him, I’ll tolerate him and learn to see the good in him.  Yes, I do like someone.  Yes, I have lied to you.  Yes, I am busy but I’ll do it for you anyway.  Yes, I’m exhausted but because you need help, I won’t sleep until you finish.  Yes, I’m hungry but you should eat first if you’re hungry too.  Yes, I’m cold but maybe you should wear my jacket anyway so you’ll be warm.  Yes, it does bother me and it hurts to see you with him but I love you and I want you to be happy.  I’m sorry that I’ve lied to you.  But most of all, I’m sorry that I’m not good enough and I’m paying for it with my tears.

Even if you’ve made me absolutely miserable at times, you’ve also made me happier than I can even think to describe.  Stories talk about how when you see someone you love,  your heart would start to race, your stomach would be filled with butterflies, your hands would get all sweaty, your legs would shake, you’d forget words, you’d feel lightheaded and you can’t think straight. Well, I’m living proof that they’re all true.

Before I finish my letter, I’d like to thank you.  Thank you for showing me that life can be fun, regardless of the negatives we’ve had to push through together.  Thank you for being by my side, cheering me up, making me laugh, making me cry, making me crazy, and making me insane…  Most of all, thank you for teaching me how to love somebody with everything I have in my heart to offer.

To conclude my letter, I’ll end it with a promise that we started four great years with.  I promise that I’ll always be here for you.  No matter how many times you might break my heart or regardless of how often you make me feel used, my answer to your question will remain the same.  I love you.  And no matter how much time passes, that will never change.

Yours truly,         

Your Best Friend

I'm actually thinking about writing this letter out onto a piece of paper, changing the names and then giving it to my special someone.  But she might make me read it to her.  >.>  We'll see what happens next year.

YOU STILL GET AN EXTRA EPILOGUE JUST WAIT <3

Happy reading! ♥

Oh yeah, here's the part 2 of the notes from the 1000 cranes gift.  I wrote song lyrics on 8 numbered cranes and told her to unfold them to read them.  This is the message inside.

Because it's impossible to fly without wind on your wings

You're the air that I breathe and the songs that I sing

Without you I never found much to believe

But you taught me to be the person I'm meant to be

So maybe for once, we can settle the score

Because the road to my heart leads me straight to your door

Through all of these years, I've never been anything more

Than yours truly