September 28, 2011

I just came out of the dean's office when my cellphone started ringing, Kris' personal ringtone airing around the hallway. I flushed a slight tint of pink as people stared to stare at me because of the noise. Quickly fishing my phone out, I answered it.

"Baobei?" He called from the other line. Just hearing his voice makes me smile already. Weird it may sound but it has that soothing effect on me, especially on times that I feel stressed out because of the fact that my flight is coming nearer.

"Yeah? I'm heading out of our building already." I hummed, looking around for any signs of Kai or Sehun. 

"That's good. I'm almost there anyway. I have something to give you." I nodded, though I know he can't actually see me. 

"I wonder what is it this time." He chuckled, making me smile also. Kris was the type of boyfriend who would shower his girl with many tiny gifts. Everyday, he would give me chocolates just to make sure he cheers me up. There would be roses on my desk or notes slipped inside my locker. He's just the perfect definition of a very thoughtful and sweet boyfriend.

"You'll see." I heard him just from behind me. I quickly ended the call, turning around to be greeted by a kiss. 

"Here." He held out a box of cookies in front of me, smiling. I gladly took it, thanking him. We then headed to our usual spot, under the shady tree just behind our department building. We would just stay there, lazing around just like that day. While I'm busy reading, he would just play with my hand as his head was laid on my lap. Being together even without doing anything makes both of us contented.

"Kris?" I softly called his attention, placing the book down. He was already looking at me, asking me why.

"If ever one of us needs to leave, do you think we'll be okay?" I asked. I've been thinking how I would approach him regarding my scholarship. And as to what Gina eonni told me, take it little by little. She advised me to try seeing what his reaction would be if I ask questions about separation.

"Leave as in leave the country?" He asked, frowning a bit. I nodded, watching him carefully.

"I won't let distance ruin us. We'll still be okay." 

"Even if its for years of being separated?" 

"Yeah. I won't let anything be a hindrance between us." He answered sincerely. "Why are you suddenly asking these questions baobei?"

"I-I was j-just curious. Because of this book." I lied, forcing a smile. Kris then sat up, making me look at him.

"If ever it's going to happen to us baby, I still won't let you go. We would still be together. Distance is just a small thing. I would go wherever you will be. I will be by your side. You don't have to worry about that, okay?" He assured me, cupping my face. I only nodded, smiling a bit. He pressed a kiss against my forehead, wrapping his arms around me. 

"But I pray that it won't. I don't want you away from me." You could barely hear his whisper but save from the silence, I was able to make it out.

My heart ached hearing him say those words. I don't even know how would I tell him that sooner, we would have to be separated from each other? 

We stayed like that for a few minutes, just hugging each other. Burying my face on the crook of his neck, I could inhale his scent and that's enough to make me calm down and push away the bad thoughts of leaving. If only we could stay like that forever.

"What's with the long hug?" We were interrupted by Chanyeol's voice who was already settled down beside Kris with a bag of chips on his hand. I gently peeled myself away from Kris and greeted the newcomer.

"Have you seen Sehun?" I asked.

"I think he's in the cafe. Hungry probably. Why?" Chanyeol answered as he started munching on his food. 

"I forgot I need to ask him something." I got up then turned to Kris. "I'll see you later. I'll just talk to Sehun okay?"

"Okay. Just give me a call." He smiled, squeezing my hand a bit. I smiled back and headed to the direction where the said cafe was. I kept my head hung low as I walk, the pain in my heart still there. What Kris just told me kept on echoing inside my head, and it makes me feel guilty. Am I being cruel to by keeping everything from him?

"Sehun? Eodiya?" I asked as soon as Sehun picked up the call. I could hear soft music playing on the background as we talked. After saying where he is, I quickly continued my way to the cafe. Once settled beside him on a booth on the corner, the tears I've been holding on for a while started to pour out.

"N-Noona? What's wrong? Did something happen?" Sehun panicked a bit seeing my current state. I just shook my head, covering my face with my hands as I sob silently. I don't know if I'll still be able to hold everything in. As days pass by, it gets harder and it burdens me even more. Everytime Kris would talk about us being in the future, it adds pain and guilt in me.

"Talk to me noona. What happened? You